


Bright Eyes

by captain_shitpost



Series: Bright New Days [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Underfell, Angst, BDSM, Depression, Dissociation, Healthy Communication, Human Mages, M/M, Monsterphobia, Mpreg, Multi, Non-Binary Frisk, Not Beta Read, Past Domestic Violence, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Pacifist Route, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sans Has Issues, Skeleton Pregnancy (Undertale), Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Swearing, Underfell Papyrus, Underfell Sans, Veteran Grillby, Violence, human magic, sansby - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2018-06-05 17:42:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 88,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6714616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captain_shitpost/pseuds/captain_shitpost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"No matter how much he thought it over, it seems he couldn't get rid of the kid. It just felt like, no matter what, his only option was to raise the child, and do his best."</p><p>UF!Sans walked away from a one-night stand with a tiny soul floating in his newly-conjured belly. His magic is weakened, and in this world, it's "kill, or be killed". But he has decided to protect his unborn child, even if it means running to another universe. However, the other world is so different, from the life on the surface to the monsters themselves...It could prove to be a new home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Here Today, Gone Tomarrow

**Author's Note:**

> You may be wondering why I'm making an Mpreg UF!Sans/UT!Grillby fic.  
> The short answer is: Why not?  
> The long answer is: I have lost all control of my life and I blame this fandom.
> 
> You can follow me on http://captain-shitpost.tumblr.com/

  A loud slam startled Sans out of sleep. Must have been Papyrus leaving for his guard duty, not bothering to wake him by yelling at him to go to work for once. He groaned and rolled over, falling to the floor. He spent a few minutes contemplating the stains on the ceiling until the walls stopped spinning, considering just going to sleep again on the floor. The sharp headache that was making him wince told him his attempt would be in vain. He dragged himself to his feet, stumbling to the rather bare kitchen.

  Two glasses of water and a cold hot dog for breakfast helped, and he almost felt alive again. Shit, he got plastered last night. He got chatted up by some stranger at Grillby's, and it ended up with the two of them in a room at the Inn, drinking liquor strong enough to remove paint and screwing. Hardly the worst night he'd ever had, and it had been a while since he'd been with someone.

  Feeling exhausted by just being awake for an hour, he decided to shower to try and wake up. He still had to get to his sentry post or Papyrus would get on his ass. No big deal- it would hardly be the first time he forced himself to keep going when the only thing he wanted to do was curl up and sleep. A hangover seemed mild in comparison to some of the shit he'd walked off.

The bathroom was pretty much empty, save for a single bottle of soap and some Bone-cologne that Papyrus never actually wore. He stripped his hoodie off, dropping it half a meter away from the hamper. Next came the socks, then his shirt, snagging on his head. A decisive tug released it, and he froze with the image he saw in the mirror.

  There used to be nothing underneath his shirt until you hit his spine, but now there was a ball of condensed magic emitting a red glow, much like his eye. In the center of it was a dot, and after looking at it in shock he realized it was an upside-down heart.

_Shit._

 

  His first impulse was to wreck everything in the house, but after getting exhausted flinging shit into walls and hyperventilating, he was forced to calm down and go over the facts.

  He was pregnant. Of course he was. It's not like he ever had luck in his life, why wouldn't he be screwed over as completely as possible? Of course he had to be the one to end up knocked up, not like the other monster could have shit luck, nooo.

  Breathe in, breathe out. Enough panicking, what does he do now? What were his options?

  Well, single option. A soul removal potion was expensive, but what else could he do? He had one HP, which meant that if anything went wrong with the pregnancy he'd most likely die. He got tired so easily he'd never have the energy to chase a kid around. It was pretty common for children to be attacked in the Underground unless their parents protected them-he'd be forced to constantly protect them as they grew up. He'd stumbled on more than one small pile of dust in secluded places, tiny striped shirts or hats lying nearby. He couldn't even protect himself from everyone, Papyrus' infamy keeping him safe more than his own strength ever could.

  Even if the kid survived, one day they'd be so badly hurt, the world beating them down so hard, their soul would crack, just like everyone else's did here in the Underground. The idea of one day having his imaginary child come back home with their bright eyes turned a deep, empty red was nearly enough to tilt him into the beginning of a second wave of panic.

  So he straightened his clothes, and, checking that he still had time before Papyrus came back, he shortcutted outside the medicine shop, tucked away in one of the smaller, harder to get to chambers in Waterfall. Pulling up his hoodie over his head, he made a quick in-and-out and shortcutted back to his room, leaving him much dizzier than he would usually feel. Shit, it was a good thing he had the potion, the pregnancy was already sapping at his magic reserves. He lacked the physical stamina and strength to either fight or run away without his magic so he would be royally screwed if this continued.

  He gave the bottle a withering look. It seemed very innocuous: light blue with a clear liquid the consistency of oil sloshing inside. He sighed and put it on his desk. The potion was notorious for disrupting the soul of the mother for a while, preventing them from summoning magic and additionally making them nauseous as fuck. Right now, he'd go to his post, work like normal, and then he'd come back home and sleep. He'd take the damn potion in the morning, it's not like it would go anywhere.

 

  In the morning, he was woken up by a shout of „GO TO WORK, YOU LAZY ASS!!!“, followed by rustling and then the slam of the front door. Sans cursed as he sat up, the memory of his predicament immediately making him sweat in agitation. He looked at the bottle sitting on his table and picked it up carefully in a too-tight grip.

  He stared at it.

  It stared at him.

  He swallowed.

  The idea of drinking the potion made him start panicking. Why?! He was absolutely fine with this yesterday! This was the correct thing to do! Why was he second guessing his decision?!

  He froze up for a second, the bottle almost tumbling out of his fingers, and he was forced to scramble to save it. He took a shaky breath as he set it back on the table, and sank to the floor.

  He was second guessing himself. He was actually considering having a kid. What was wrong with him?! Like he could ever be...a decent parent.

  He'd just fuck the kid up. He just knew he'd be the one to make their pure soul darken.

  He'd already done that to Papyrus.

  He curled up harder and shivered. He didn't know what to do. So what was the best course of action?

  Why, to ignore his problems, of course.

 

  He has managed to hide his secret pretty well these last 3 months, but it was catching up to him. Considering skeleton pregnancy lasted about 7 months, he was lucky he was big-boned. That and his baggy clothes were the only things that hid his now noticeable belly. He couldn't even walk around with his hoodie unzipped since the red glow of his ecto-belly could be seen through his shirt.

  He was getting even more easily tired than usual, as impossible as the idea seemed to him at first. His magic has decided to sputter out at random moments, mostly when it was the least convenient, and even when he could use it, it was...smaller. Like his magic reserves had halved, which, to be fair, is basically what was happening.

  His magic became more unpredictable too-sometimes it'd work fine, sometimes it would fizzle out as soon as it activated or run out much quicker than usual. He was forced to start walking places instead of shortcutting, and it left him feeling achy and bone-weary. Heh.

  Papyrus noticed the changes but fortunately didn't make the connection with the reason behind it. If he did, he'd find himself strapped to a chair and force-fed the soul removal potion still in his desk drawer. „FOR YOUR OWN GOOD,“ he'd say. As it is, he just got a bigger portion of the usual insults and bitching. These days Sans avoided him, staying in his room whenever Papyrus was at home. He hated lying to his face.

  He knew he was on borrowed time. Eventually, Papyrus would notice his large belly and lethargy and increased appetite and make the connection, or another monster would notice his weakened state and attack. Sans was already using far more magic than his body could sustain to seem as threatening and strong as usual, and it nearly caused him to black out more than once.

  He couldn't ask Papyrus for help. The tall skeleton was already so busy with his guard duties, but he still protected his short, worthless brother. He couldn't make him protect a child, too. He could only be stretched so thin before he broke- and it's not like he had a right to come crawling to his bro for help.

  The last straw was friggin Lesser Dog attacking him, probably looking for a meal. Damn his bony anatomy. He spent that morning crouched behind a bush, throwing his nonexistent guts up, so he fell asleep at his post. He was woken up by a stinking, furry jaw snapping near his face, only his light sleep and fast instincts letting him roll away in time. It was growling, saliva running down its black, furry jaw, and it was protected by heavy Royal Guard armor. Sans threw a few bones, trying to find a weak spot between the metal plates, but there was none.

  The next snap of its jaw was aimed at his leg, and soon the dog was biting and clawing after Sans, forcing him to evade faster and faster, his soul and stomach aching at the abuse. The snaps kept coming, one after the other, a flurry of claws-

  He could only think of how close some of those attacks came to his stomach.

  There wasn't a single place he could think of that would be safe for him while he was running. Not home, not outside. Maybe he'd be able to stay at Grillby's for a bit, no one messed around inside the bar, but not forever. The only other place that popped into his head wasn't a place at all.

  He pulled his magic close to his soul and stepped into emptiness.

 

  There was absolutely no other place that was as still as the Void.

  Sans stretched his hand in front of his face, shifting his position on the floor slightly. Well, if you could even call it a floor. It was the Void, not like anything was there. He couldn't feel a current of air, or hear any sound, not even his own breathing. He was always surprised when, on the rare occasions he spent longer than a moment in this not-place, he didn't feel cold. Might have something to do with there being no air to conduct heat. Good thing skeletons didn't need to breathe.

  It really was...breathtaking. Hehe, Boss would kill him if he said that pun.

  His hand was the same shape as it ever was. Same stubby fingers, same chipped bone on his fingertips and knuckles. He turned his palm toward him and summoned a bit of his magic. The familiar red of it enveloped his hand for a moment, right before sputtering out of existence. He cursed under his breath.

  He felt like this was the first time he relaxed in the last 3 months. Hiding his weakening magic and general exhaustion was damn hard. Why hadn't he taken a break in the Void before?

  Oh, right. There was nothing here. It got boring as hell pretty quick.

  The absolute nothingness was welcome this time. Gave him peace to think. And plan.

  First things first: apparently he was really determined to have this kid, if his first instinct when the dog was chasing him was to protect it, instead of himself. He could only groan. Why was he even doing this? The poor kid would only suffer with him as its father.

  He was so weak. But the idea of losing the child made his soul almost physically hurt now, there was no way he would give it up.

  Somewhere in the last few months, he'd started hoping again. Hoping the monsters would stop hurting each other. Hoping they'd all see the surface. He gave up those childish dreams back when he was a baby-bones. But the idea of his child, growing up Underground? Every day praying to the stars he'd see them again, that their soul would still be whole when they got home...

  He shook his head. No matter how much he thought it over, it seems he couldn't get rid of the kid. It just felt like, no matter what, his only option was to raise the child, and do his best.

  Which wasn't much admittedly, but still.

  So what now? He needed a place to lay low for a while, somewhere he wouldn't have to look over his shoulder constantly. Heh, it's not like there was a single place like that in the Underground, or he would have found it by now. He got around.

  Wait a second. There was no place like that _Underground_. That's not the only place there is.

  Not the surface, of course. If all the monsters Underground couldn't bust open the barrier, there's no way he'd do it on his own. Staying in the Void was his second thought, but he had a nagging suspicion that time didn't actually flow in this place. He'd just end up stuck as a 3-month-pregnant skeleton. Yikes.

  Then he got the idea. The Void led to more than his own universe-it would be simple, in theory, to push through the matter that wasn't there and pop into existence in another world. The idea made him shiver. He'd never been to any universe but his own, and he had no idea what to expect. He was aware that some timelines just ended, saw the graphs detailing the darkness eating them, could remember the feeling of wrongness crawling up his spine. What if he fell smack-dab in the middle of that?

  Not to mention that falling into another universe would probably mean he'd be attacked by the monsters that lived there. What were the odds that he wouldn't be attacked on sight? He had no idea.

  Well that's actually good. No idea if he'd be attacked in another universe versus completely sure in this one seemed like an easy decision.

  Fair enough. He'd go to another universe, check it out. If it was safe he'd stick around until he had the kid, then he'd recover his magic and be able to defend himself. The kid would make things difficult, but he wouldn't be completely defenseless anymore. Then he'd come back. He would. For Papyrus.

  He was scared for his kid, and he'd protect it from others as well as he could, but Papyrus needed protecting too. He thought that being one of the strongest monsters Underground meant he was safe, but Sans knew there were...things, out there, that could destroy worlds. A skeleton would be less than dust to them.

  So what if his brother looked down on him, insulted him? He brought it on himself. It was his own fault.

  He knew his own sins.

  He stretched his legs. He made no move to push himself up, it was more like the Void righted itself around him until he was standing. He gathered his magic to his soul and stretched his hand towards the non-matter of the Void. He made the first push that would open into his world and then reached behind it to another layer. He pushed harder. Usually the fabric covering his universe ripped with a mere touch, but this one wasn't budging. Good. That meant he really was opening another universe.

  After another few pushes he realized it wasn't working. The fabric felt much too solid to move. So he closed his eyes and sensed his magic. It was pretty high now, fingers crossed that he wouldn't faint until he got somewhere safe. He let it out, letting it form into a familiar skull, and felt the crackle of super-concentrated magic, like static on his bones. He held it tight, building tension like a rubber band, and then let go.

  The blast blew into the fabric, blinding in the darkness of the Void. He held the ray for as long as he could, and when he felt his knees start shaking, drew it back. The blaster dissipated, and a hole was gaping into the nothingness. He could see the fraying edges already start knitting themselves together, so he stepped forward, only wobbling slightly, and entered.


	2. A Different Kind of River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans discovers a new universe, and can only hope for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me or swing by to ask a question at http://captain-shitpost.tumblr.com/

  The cool air hit his face, a rare breeze rustling the trees surrounding him. He quickly checked his surroundings and, not feeling anybody around, let his magic dissipate. Using his blasters left him feeling pretty empty-headed, and he closed his eyes for a bit to make the ground stop swaying. Once he felt like his knees could carry him, he opened his eyes and looked around.

  He was completely surrounded by trees, and snow crunched underneath his feet as he shifted his weight. He recognized a bunch of rocks he knew were near Snowdin, as well as the bridge he could see past the treeline. Since he couldn't feel a soul anywhere near, and everything but the trees was perfectly quiet, he began a slow, cautious track towards Snowdin. Moving from tree to tree, he concealed himself in the heavy shadows.He had turned off his eyelight to make himself less noticeable-it would be pretty stupid to try and hide but then have someone see the glow of his eye-but it left him feeling vulnerable. He had gotten so used to having his magic turned on and ready to attack at a moment's notice that not feeling the familiar warmth in his eye socket left him feeling almost naked. Or bare-boned, heh.

  He was getting close enough to the little village that he could see the individual houses. The trees were thinning out, so he stopped while he still had some cover and planned his next move. He tried checking again. Still no souls in sight.

  That wasn't right.

  He was close enough to the village that he should be able to sense the monsters moving about. Moreover, he should be able to hear talking, or the shuffle of feet through snow, or anything. Snowdin tended to be quiet, as most monsters wanted to attract as little attention as possible, but it was never as silent as this.

  Steeling himself, Sans slipped between two houses and peeked around the corner.

  The village was completely empty. He saw no movement and heard no sound, and as he checked for the third time, he still felt nobody alive in the vicinity.

  Fuck.

  His browbones were getting covered in sweat, partly due to his now greater-than-usual-exhaustion, but mostly because of his rising panic. Did he end up in one of those timelines? The ones that ended in darkness? Fuck fuck fuck.  
Since nobody was around, he decided to quit the stealth and marched straight through the deserted street. He saw a tree decked out in various objects in the middle of it, the metal ornaments slightly rusty. How strange. Why was it decorated?

  He shook his head and stomped off. He had better things to worry about.

  He took note of the houses he was passing. Most of them were somewhat run-down, paint starting to peel and windows covered in dust. He checked the inside of the house a bear family used to lived in, the door sticking as he opened it. The dust his movements kicked up made his nose itch. It looked like it had been abandoned years ago, as it was rather empty, the furniture obviously removed, but there was still a glass cabinet pushed to the wall opposite of him, the plates and glasses stacked inside perfectly. Off to the side was a heavy, ornate desk, cleared completely.

  He could feel his the tug of his frown deepening. This made no sense. Why was the house, and the rest of Snowdin, abandoned? The residents must have taken all their furniture with them, but why? Where could they have gone?

  A half-hour search of the neighboring houses yielded the same results. The residents seemed to have collectively moved away. Not ran away, since if they were running they would have only taken the essentials. Not killed, because then all their things would stay in place, not to mention he'd be seeing dust piles and random clothes everywhere. Moved.

  To where? There wasn't a lot of space in the Capital, and Hotland and Waterfall were hardly better places to live in than Snowdin. More importantly, why would they move- the whole village none the less? His first thought was because of some natural disaster, but everything in the village seemed in order, and there were no piles of upturned snow or broken things to signalize a sudden evacuation. It couldn't be because of safety reasons since the rest of the Underground was equally unsafe.

  A gentle nudge in his stomach snapped him out of his thoughts. He chuckled. He had started feeling slight movements from the tiny soul hitting his belly as it floated around about a week ago. It was incredibly strange at first, but now it felt like a signal that the tiny soul was alive and healthy-it was very reassuring.Like no matter how much he fucked up, at least he managed to keep this kid alive.

  He hadn't eaten in ages, bet the kid was hungry too, kicking up a fuss like that.

  Whatever the reason everyone left, it didn't seem like they were running for their lives, and being alone he figured he could rest for a bit. He trudged over to his and Boss' house, hopefully,he'd find something edible there. He frowned at the colourful light bulbs that adorned it. Someone had a shit taste in decoration.

  The interior gave him a strange feeling of déjà vu. It was built like his place, the room shape and size was the same, the furniture was all in their normal places, the stairs lead to his and Boss' room, but the colour scheme was different. He was used to his house being a dreary, yellowed white with all the furniture in black and red. This one had a green couch facing an empty TV stand, the floor covered in a tacky blue-green carpet, and a...really high sink in the kitchen? Huh. Boss mentioned something about wanting extra space for his weapons, so maybe this world's version thought the same?

  Checking the cupboards scored him a can of corn and a really old bottle of ketchup even he wouldn't touch. No mustard, though. Weird.

  He made a meal of the corn, cracking the can open with a bone and downing half, then waiting to see how his stomach would react. When his meal decided to stay put, he happily finished it. Ever since he got knocked up he started throwing up at the mere taste of some of the foods he used to adore. He couldn't even look at Grillby's fries without his non-existent stomach cramping, so he was left feeling either starving or nauseous pretty much constantly. Shit he missed having a good burger. And maybe some liquor.

  He picked his teeth with the sharp end of a summoned bone.Not the best meal he'd ever had, but it was hardly the worst thing he ever ate. He remembered some of the things he dug up from trash cans as a kid. Eugh.

  The kid seemed to be feeling pretty good right now, judging by its vigorous fluttering. Probably the influx of magic he got from eating gave the kid an energy hit-even he felt marginally more energetic. He could feel the light kicks of its soul against his ecto-belly as he started towards Waterfall.

  He laid a hand on his belly, sensing the magic of his child. It felt mostly like his own, but with the hint of a different flavour. The child's own, unique magic was getting stronger and easier to feel as time passed on, and feeling its strong movements and magic always managed to calm him down.

  His child. Now that's a bad joke if there ever was one.

 

 

  Getting through Waterfall and Hotland was more tiring than expected. By the time he got to Asgore's house, he was starving, nauseous, shaky and irritated. He found some instant ramen at Alphys' place that he was planning on saving for the trip, but he ended up devouring 3 cups of the stuff just to keep going. Damn pregnancy would end up starving him.

  Asgore's house was neater than expected. And frightfully silent. The usual monsters that resided there were gone, the story of the fallen prince disappearing with them.  
It felt almost unfair. The Underground was supposed to have been a somewhat decent place before the Prince and his Human. The monsters were still thirsty for human blood after the war and the creation of the barrier, but the King and Queen's combined might kept them in check. Once the 2 children died, though...

  Asgore stopped caring. The royal guard stopped being a peacekeeping force and, without his input, started forcing weaker monsters to do their bidding. With no-one to stop it, violence and theft increased and kept increasing for years, until life became a fight for survival. The Underground became a place where you could only „kill, or be killed“.

  Shit, the first time he heard that line he was only 6 years old, and even then he knew it was true.

  And Toriel disappeared. Some say she had fallen. Others that she went mad. It didn't matter; it just meant that nothing could save them.

  Well, nothing but human souls anyways. Though he fucked that one up royally too, didn't he?

  His thoughts being everywhere but on his path, he was startled by the light of the Judgement Hall. He could hear the faint chirping of birds, magically created, the great beams towering over him making him flinch.

  No one. He had reached the Judgement Hall, and he hadn't encountered a single soul in the Underground. He could feel his sweat turn cold on his browbone.

  There was no darkness in this world, not the kind that devoured worlds, right? He was sure he'd have felt it if there was. So why was everybody...gone?

  He scrambled through the hall, moving as fast as his depleted stamina allowed him, right past the throne room, covered in dried-up yellow flowers, past a hallway, and then-

  Nothing.

  The constant background humming of the barrier was gone, and what stood before him was a perfectly normal hallway, light crystals still illuminating the stairs that led up-up to the surface.

  He curled himself into a ball, hearing his own increasingly frantic breathing and the sweat on his browbones. The Barrier was gone. The Underground was connected to the surface. He could feel his breath come faster and faster, the soul of his child upset and flickering at his own anxiety. The world above was open to him. Through that hallway was the sun, and the sea, and giant mountains like in the books, and machines that drove you everywhere without using magic, and parks children could run and play in-

  He was rushing forward, feet grabbing two steps at a time before he even realized he was moving. He was sweating, and heaving, mind filled with images of the few movies that washed up in the Dump, of the sky painted orange and red, of fireworks, and he started to feel fresh air cooling his face, and it smelled like rain and grass, a combination he had never smelled before, not even in Waterfall.

  He stumbled through an archway, managing to take a few more steps until he finally sinked to the ground, knees smacking the stone and palms scuffed by the roughness of it. For a few moments he could only breathe, without even the strength to lift his head, concentrating only on the erratic pulses of his and his child's soul. The wind was gently cooling him down, and his legs finally stopped shivering.

  He gulped down a lungful of air. It just smelled so fresh-he doubted he could ever get used to it.

  He slowly tilted his head up, seeing very little. He could only dimly see the rock around him and a forest ahead, the light too scarce to make out individual trees. He swept the horizon, his eyes adapting to the dark, as he straightened up onto his knees, the slight whistling of the wind and rustling of the trees the only things he heard.

  And as he continued upwards, he saw them.

  Millions of stars, their tiny sparkling lights almost seeming to blink. He thought they'd be evenly distributed, but instead they made clusters in some spaces, and in some there was just darkness with a single, bright star. And right in the middle was a dense smear of lights, so many he knew he could spend years kneeling right here, counting them every day, and never coming close to counting them all. They looked like a river...a river made of light.

  He could taste the tears that had run down to his mouth, and he felt the stretch of his skull from what felt like the first true smile he'd had in a lifetime. He made an undignified snort as he breathed, his breath exhaling in a chuckle. Then the chuckle turned into a laugh, and soon he was howling in laughter, tears dripping onto the fur of his hoodie,and for the first time in his existence he felt like he was alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so not much happens in this chapter plot-wise, but it still needed to be written.  
> I love all you peeps! Thanks for reading my fic!


	3. Doppelgänger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans finds his way to a nearby city, hoping to find food and shelter. He may encounter some problems he did not account for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I was not happy with how this chapter turned out and I thought it sucks, but my beta says it's her fave chapter so far??? You be the judge of that.  
> I can't even explain how happy all your comments and kudos make me! I'd have been happy with a single comment but I got loads :D you wonderful peeps you!
> 
> Follow, ask, request at http://captain-shitpost.tumblr.com/

   Sunlight gently roused him from his sleep, making him blink rapidly to adjust to the light. The Sun was halfway up the sky, warming his bones and the rock inside the archway he passed through yesterday and slept in for protection against the wind. The sky was a bright blue, streaked with the occasional white, fluffy cloud.

   He found he missed the stars, but he really could get used to this dry warmth. Snowdin was freezing, Hotland was boiling, and Waterfall was both cold and damp. Sure, it's not like he could die of extreme temperatures, but they were still uncomfortable. He stretched, feeling his joints pop, and shuffled upright. He took the time to pop his knuckles with his thumb one by one as he surveyed the horizon.

   In the daylight he could see the details of the individual trees of the forest, their leaves dozens of shades of green, as well as the occasional red or orange. He didn't even know leaves came in colours other than green. In the distance there was a mountain range, the slopes covered with thick greenery. And at the foot of one, he saw the telltale grey of cement.

  Bingo.

 

 

  The trek to the city was as difficult as it was uneventful. Apart from finding a stream to drink from and pick water sausages for snacks, it was just endless walking and groaning when his joints hurt badly enough to warrant a break. Fuck, he had gotten so used to taking shortcuts everywhere that two days of walking meant having small stress fractures on his feet. The kids' soul gave him a kick as if to mock him. Despite the kid not even being born yet but already giving him attitude, he smiled.

   He was jumpy at first, startling at every rustle, but after the third encounter with a squirrel (an actual squirrel, not a squirrel monster. How weird.) he just plowed through the noises and movement-it was unlikely anybody lived in the forest anyway. The only signs that he was getting closer to the city were the position of the sun and the eventual thinning of the trees, until farther on he stumbled upon a road, and thanked the stars for small mercies. At least he wasn't lost or stumbling on tree roots anymore. 

  The first cars he saw were near the first houses he saw, and holy shit, Boss was right, those thing were _cool_. The first one he saw was huge, and shiny, and red, and smelled kind of like the machine oil he remembered being covered in when he still worked at the Lab. It also let out fumes that made him cough and covered him in dust as it sped away. He threw a bone at it, shouting abuse, and missed by an inch.

  The walk to the center of the city was longer than expected and by the time he stumbled on the main square with a huge statue of a human in the middle of it, he was completely running on empty. He managed to find a dark, quiet alleyway to sit down and ate the last of his food. Chomping down, he had a lot to worry about. He was out of food, had no place to stay in, and had exactly 2 gold on him. He didn't exactly plan on going to another universe when he went to work yesterday and packed accordingly , and even if he had more gold...did they even use the same currency on the surface? Humans used gold, right? Some things had to be the same.

  His magic was okay for now, but it would start to dwindle if he didn't eat, and even if he did it was still crapping out when he used it too much. In short, if he was attacked, he was boned. Heh, he should be writing these down. 

  So first things first, he needed food. With his one HP he couldn't afford to lose energy due to low magic levels, and the kid was sucking up magic like a heart-shaped sponge. He could sleep anywhere, so as long as he found an abandoned house or something he'd be alright. Now how to get food and money, he thought as he got up, wiping his hand on his shorts. He could probably find a job somewhere, but with how tired he got he wasn't sure how much strain he could take. He leaned on the brick wall, looking at the statue in the middle of the square. It looked kinda familiar. Weird, unless they dragged it from the Underground there was no way he'd seen it before-

  "Oi, Sansy! Skipping work again?" said a loud voice from the side, nearly making him jump out of his non-existent skin. How in the hell did anyone know him, he wasn't even from this world-

  It was one of Grillby's regulars, he had no idea what his name was but everyone called him Punk Hamster. He was similar but also very different to the one in his universe. To start with, seems this guy hadn't lost an ear. And he was smiling. To a stranger. What.

  His rather serene smile dropped as he took in Sans' appearance, and he came to a halt. 

"Oh sorry man, I thought you were someone I know. No hard feelings, right?" He shrugged. Then furrowed his brow. "Do you know a guy called Sans? You look a lot like him, it's crazy!" He proclaimed, resuming his walk to the skeleton. Sans felt a knot of anxiety where his stomach would be if he was a different type of monster. It was almost a gut-reaction to seeing a monster stalking up to him, making him feel cornered. His hand twitched, so he stuffed it in his pocket to keep himself from summoning bones. His palms were sweaty.

  "nope, can't say I do, buddy." He said in a rather strangled voice. He pooled his magic to his fingertips, to keep it away from his center. Best not to shortcut unless it was absolutely necessary. Shit he just wanted to run away.

  The other monster stared at him like an idiot, head tilted and with a confused expression. Come on, just accept what he said and fucking leave, if the guy had friends he wouldn't be able to defend himself from everyone. The kids' soul was darting around, reacting to his unease. He eyed the small space between them and tried to judge if he could make a run for it.

  Oddly enough, the other monster straightened up with a smile. "Oh, must be because you're a skeleton. No offence, but you lot all kinda look the same." He said with an exaggerated shrug, designed to look cool and failing miserably. "You're new to the area, right? You have the whole 'lost tourist' look going for you." he continued nonchalantly.

  Okay, maybe the taller monster wasn't going to attack him. As long as he kept his guard up, he would be fine.

  "uh, yeah. i'm from...outta town, just came here today." he said, trying to sound casual. He relaxed his posture but kept his magic activated, his eye light warming his face. It was nerve-wracking talking to the guy when he felt so vulnerable from his lack of magic, but attacking him first or acting weird might alert somebody. Best play it cool.

  "Yeah, I could tell. None of the locals would hang out here, it's just a bunch of abandoned buildings. All the locals know the best places to hang are on the west side of the town. You got the mall there, and Grillby's is the best bar in this place, I hang there all the time, then you got the MTT Entertainment park..." he chattered on, and Sans tuned him out after a while. Yeah, he hoped to get some info, but this was not exactly useful stuff.

  Wait, abandoned buildings? If the roof and floor weren't collapsing he just found a place to sleep. Heh, he was long overdue for some good luck. The annoying monster actually ended up being helpful.

  He was  _floored_.

  "...and you should keep an eye out for humans, most are nice but some get really nasty to monsters for no good reason." he finished, spitting to the side. Sans raised his browbone. That sure was a lot of bitterness. He always figured that if monsters got to the surface everything would be fucking dandy, but he guessed the grass wasn't so green here after all. Well, he didn't get jumped yet, so it was still an improvement.

  Well, he was getting tired of listening to the guy, and he had had his nerves wrecked enough for one day.

  "thanks for the, uh, advice, bucko. i gotta scram, got places to be an' shit." he said with an attempt at a smile. It came out as more of a grimace. This entire conversation was so weird. Why the hell did this guy just give him advice for no reason? The other monster seemed happy though.

  "No problem, man. Glad to help." he exclaimed, but then tilted his head, brow furrowed, until he snapped his fingers with a smile like he had the best friggin idea of his life.

  "Hey, you know what? I'll do you one better. I can introduce you to Sans! He knows pretty much everybody and he gets around, so if you need help-"

  "no!!! er, I mean, nah, it's cool" he yelped, sweat beading on his forehead, "i'd hate to bother some guy i don't even know. i'll figure it out myself. and, um, how about you don't mention me to that guy? i'd hate for him to think he has to help me when i've got it covered" he said with his best attempt at a reassuring grin. He sure hoped it looked more confident than he felt. The other monster nodded, seeming convinced. 

  "Alright man, don't let me stop you from sightseeing. Be seeing you around!" He said with a cool wave, and turned and walked away. Sans watched him go warily, and after making sure of his departure he slid down the wall behind him.

  Wow, when he was planning his grand escape to another universe, he completely forgot another version of him might be lying around. This meant he wasn't some nobody-this meant everybody would look at him and think he's this place's Sans. Why the FUCK did he not consider this before he came here?!

  Being a Sans, he knew the guy would know about the multiverse and the timelines, which meant he couldn't shrug off their similarity on a freak coincidence. This complicated things. He knew that if a different Sans came to his universe, he sure as hell would find him and scope him out. And if the imposter could pose a threat to Papyrus? Or his universe?

  He'd put his 9 LV to good use and have a _hella_ good time.

  This did not bode well for him.

  Welp, the idea of having a job just flew out the window. He was the kind of guy everyone knew, wherever he worked there was bound to be someone who recognized him, and a rumor in the ear holes of his double could spell pain and dust in his future. His best bet would be moving to another city, but he needed time to figure out where another city even was and he'd need money. And before that, he needed to find some grub.

  He stumbled upright, needing the wall for support. Heh, he was _dead_ tired. He made a  _grave_  mistake walking so much in one day, but what can you do. He pulled on his hoodie and kept his face down, and slowly shuffled away. Crossing the square he followed the gazes of a group of human tourists, pointing and taking pictures of the large statue. Only after a closer look did he recognize the face of the eighth Human, their features carved in marble, looking over the city.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, just to clarify: I am ridiculously nitpicky about things being realistic and canon.
> 
> That being said, skeletons can't pop their joints. They lack joint capsules and synovial fluid, which means they can't rapidly release gas into the surrounding liquid, which is what actually makes the joints pop. However, I have decided to COMPLETELY IGNORE my knowledge of anatomy for the simple reason that I think it makes UF!Sans look cool and it fits him well. Sue me.
> 
> Also, I have to constantly research puns. English isn't my mother tongue, and we don't have a lot of puns in my language. Ain't easy being a comedian :/
> 
> P.S. My original plan was to post a chapter once a week, but college has been really tough. I'll try to stick to the plan but updates will be messy for a while. Sorry :/


	4. Old Habits Die Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans reverts to some old habits he thought he grew out of, and meets a bright man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, stop reading this chapter and check THIS SHIT OUT: https://kay-sins.tumblr.com/post/144690611219/im-gonna-go-ahead-and-stop-on-this-hahait-was
> 
> Now that you have basked in the glory that is FRIGGIN FANART of an Mpreg Sansby angst fic, you can read on :3 Seriously I couldn't properly breathe when I saw the pic, it was so cool X3
> 
> On to more serious topics: I have added a rape/noncon tag. I'm of the opinion that if you're putting something as disturbing as rape in a fic, you should think long and hard over whether it's needed. I've come to the conclusion that it will be in the fic, in the form of a flashback. When I get to that chapter or a chapter where it's mentioned, I will say so in the notes at the beginning.
> 
> Also, I have added a BDSM tag because I figured if I'm going to sin, I should sin all the way.
> 
> Come ask, chat or follow on http://captain-shitpost.tumblr.com/

  He though it would be harder to rob people. It had been years since he had to steal to survive, but he slid right into the mindset, looking down to hide his face while scoping his targets. A rather distracted human tourist was enthusiastically chatting with another, and he took calm, even steps towards her bag lying abandoned near some decorative bushes. He felt a pang of guilt as he grabbed the backpack off the ground, but told himself it was her own fault for leaving her things lying around without supervision. He walked a bit farther from the pair to attract less attention, and then shortcutted to his room, hissing as he stumbled shoulder-first into a wall. Damn, that jump left him light-headed. One of these days he'd pass out after one of his jumps, but he just couldn't risk getting caught.

  He collapsed onto a bunch of dirty pillows he found a couple days ago, taking a well-deserved break. It felt so weird not having anybody on his case for resting. What would Boss even do with all the free time he got once he had no-one to nag? He'd probably cook since Sans wasn't around to spa _ghetti_  into his business. Or he was training with Undyne, or whatever the hell those two did that ended up in houses on fire. He's probably better off now that he didn't have to take care of his worthless brother.

  He shook his head. He couldn't start thinking like that again, or he'd be a depressed, worthless pile for the rest of the day. He had more important things to do. Tiny souls to protect.

  He dragged the bag across the dusty floor onto the makeshift bed. The monster he met a week ago (Pop Gerbil? Rock Chinchilla? It was a stupid name, whatever it was) was right and he found a decent room in an abandoned building, the only people around being some weird, oddly well dressed humans that kept sneaking in and out of the building across from his. They were probably doing some shady business, selling drugs or stealing. Meh, more power to them, he guessed.

  The room was completely bare, the windows broken and so dusty his nasal aperture constantly itched, but given it had been raining on-and-off for a week, he felt incredibly grateful. Once he found a few pillows, blankets and a small electric stove, and had barricaded the doorway with an abandoned dresser for protection, it felt quite snug. Maybe not a 5-star hotel, but it was safer and comfier than the street. At least he could sleep at night when he wasn't being woken up by dreams of claws on the back of his neck, or of magic searing his face, or just dreams in which he was happy and woke up feeling like he was forgetting something. Or someone.

  He cursed. He was acting so  _empty-headed_ lately, staring off into space and thinking about stupid things he couldn't change anymore. He opened the bag and upended it over the floor. He saw some bags of snacks, and a shirt that was way too small for him. He put both away for now and dug back in. It was mostly crap, empty candy wrappers and a camera that was so scratched up he doubted he could sell it. On a whim, he took a few photos of his room. He could imagine showing the photos to his kid.

  "look here, buddy. this is the dump i lived in when I was knocked up with you. i survived by stealing from tourists and running whenever i saw someone who sorta looked like someone i recognized. cool story, huh?"

  Yeah, no. This was a mess. He hated stealing, but what else could he do? He wasn't taking up beating people up or killing for money unless he had no choice. Being a judge was a shitshow, he gained at least 4 LV just offing all the assholes that tried to get to the King. No way he was doing that again.

  He guessed he could go dumpster diving again. He hadn't been able to afford food lately, though he found other stuff. Now that was a part of his childhood he'd rather not relive. God, he still remembered the texture of one of his "findings" that he suspected was raw meat gone bad. Thank fuck skeletons couldn't die of food poisoning, because he was pretty sure that stuff coulda killed him.

  The kid was jostling gently in his belly. Maybe he was wrong and the kid was too young to feel anything, but they seemed...content. Poor kid. He hadn't been eating well lately, they must be starving by now. He knew he was.

  He frowned. He had lunch for now, with the snacks he found, but he was out for dinner. He couldn't afford to be squeamish now and risk collapse. He was already running on empty. Why the fuck didn't the human have a wallet?! Maybe she was smart enough not to leave her money lying around in her bag, even if she left her camera. Dammit.

  He was still pissed that he threw away that wallet filled with money 3 days ago. How the fuck was he supposed to know money could be made from paper?!

  No. If he thought about it, he'd start smacking his head into the wall in pure frustration again, and his head still friggin hurt from the last time. He somehow pushed himself to stand with pure willpower, gave a longing look to his crappy bed, and sighed.

  "kid, you have no idea how lucky you are" he said.

  Hah.

 

 

  As he headed west, he passed the statue of the human, seeming to watch over the entire city. It made guilt coil in his stomach. First time he saw the human, he pranked them with an electric buzzer in his hand, and the kid started _crying_. How the hell the brat even survived the ruins, he had no idea.

  Well they probably hadn't. They must have died dozens of times before they stumbled through those purple doors, covered in bruises and burns, dirty and terrified, clutching a bouquet of yellow flowers in one hand and a stick in the other. He knew the kid was the anomaly, because who else could it be? A monster had no way of surviving the amount of determination it took to reset timelines. He was fully prepared to surprise them, catch them off guard, and dust-er, kill them. 

  Instead he was met with a weeping child, tear tracts through the dirt of their face, and a LOVE of 1. He felt his soul twist in his chest at how damn pitiful they looked. They'd die within the day. He suddenly had a flash of memory-Papyrus crying from hunger, still too young to stop crying when you told him to, and he himself sick, barely keeping himself awake, and hoping someone would find them. He remembered the prick of claws on his neck, a clear threat to his one HP, and how he just wanted everything to stop  _hurting_. He recalled how many times he cried for someone to help, and how nobody came. How this kid had nobody...nobody except him.

  He remembered feeling scared. Then angry at himself. Then resigned. 

  He helped the kid sneak past Papyrus in his jacket, knowing that while his bro didn't necessarily  _like_  killing, he would do it if he had to, and he wanted to spare everyone involved from the pain. He picked them up when they hurt their ankle in Waterfall, and killed a monster that attacked them in the Core, all the while carrying the kid on his back, their warmth seeping through his hoodie. Then he got to the judgment hall, and the kid made him set them down. They gave him a smile, then surprised him with a hug, and walked towards the throne room. He never saw the kid again. The readings said there had been at least 56 reloads after that, but as far as anyone knew, the eighth human that fell somehow got to the barrier, walked right through and was never heard from again. He still didn't know how they even got through the barrier, or even what their name was, but he helped them. One person was safe. And if he got killed if anyone found out he helped them, he felt it might be worth it.

This world's human was dead, most likely. They needed 7 souls to destroy the barrier, so the kid must have been killed. And then...what? They erected a statue in their memory? What kind of bullshit was this?! Their blood was on their hands, and no empty gestures of remorse would bring their tiny smile and gentle warmth back. What was this world's Sans even thinking, letting them hurt an innocent kid?!

  He was being stupid. Just because he depended on the idea that a kid somewhere was happy to get through a bad day doesn't mean the Sans here did. Or that it was a good idea. He friggin doomed the entire Underground to staying stuck under a mountain because he couldn't look an innocent kid in the face and let them die. He was such a fuck up.

  He couldn't see the statue anymore, but he could still feel its gaze on his back.

 

 

  The strong smell of grease managed to snap him from his errant thoughts. He scoped the empty back alley the smell came from and saw a nondescript door, probably an employee entrance for a bar. Walking closer, he felt saliva pooling in his mouth, the kid jolting awake and fluttering in excitement. It smelled like deep-fried food and grilled meat, and it was like he had died and gone to heaven.

  Yeah, of course he'd finally stop feeling nauseous smelling grease when he couldn't actually afford any of the food. To the side of the door was a large dumpster, trash bags filled with bottles around it. He grimaced as he gathered the courage for the next step. He really, really hated dumpster diving. He wasn't the cleanliest of guys, but smelling like trash was horrible no matter what. He pushed an empty crate to the dumpster and bent over the edge, checking the contents. Mostly it was napkins, bottles and the like, but he saw what looked like a decent burger lying in one corner. He felt almost pissed off. If there was no food, at least he'd have an excuse for not eating garbage. He heaved himself onto his arm, grabbing at the abandoned meal.

  A clicking sound to the side was the only warning he got before the door swung open, bathing the alley with light from the bar. He felt stuck in place as the person turned to him, making a motion as if to throw the bag of trash in their hands, and froze mid-swing.

  He felt a vague feeling of wonder underneath his shocked numbness as he realized the light wasn't coming from the bar; it was coming from  _him_.

  His flames were the wrong colour, his clothes different, but his posture was ramrod straight and his flames flickered in a familiar, comforting way that showed surprise, even when his face didn't change.

  Grillby. He looked...calmer, somehow. Softer when he wasn't scowling. He kept his gaze locked on his face, or what he could see of it underneath his hoodie. Then, ever so slowly, he lowered the trash bag and lifted his hands up where Sans could see them in a placating gesture.

  Sans felt himself flinch and realized he'd just been standing and staring in shock, and what the fuck was wrong with him, letting his guard down like that?! He jumped off the crate and scrambled backwards, facing this strange Grillby and keeping his back away protected the entire time.

  Grillby's flames calmed down to the usual level. He seemed to observe the skeleton, and after a tense moment spoke.

  "...I won't harm you." he said, the sound more like a crackle of flames somehow shaping words than an actual voice. It was warm, and soothing, and familiar. 

  Sans felt himself automatically relax, but then tensed right back up. The fire elemental he knew was something sort of like a friend, as much as he had friends, but he had no idea what this guy was like.  _Never let you guard down, Sans. Or the world will eat you alive,_  he could hear in that cracking, static-filled voice that he never remembered but always felt was familiar, like a spot that danced in the corner of your eye but disappeared whenever you locked your gaze on it. And he listened to it. Damn mystery voice gave him some good advice over the years.

  He gathered his magic in his core and opened the way into darkness. The last thing he saw was Grillby's flames morphing in astonishment as he extended his arm, trying to catch the fleeing monster but grasping only air.

 

 

  Sans landed in his room, seeing black and hearing a loud buzzing sound. He thought fuzzily that he must have gotten stuck in the Void, until the darkness faded and he realized he was on the floor, his head aching from smacking it on the dusty planks.

  He had fucking passed out. Sure, he already shortcutted today, and he hasn't been eating enough, but he thought he'd have more time before he was completely defenseless. He felt his breathing pick up speed, and he tried to slow it down, taking slow breaths instead of gulping down air like his body was screaming at him to. He couldn't afford a panic attack. He'd be fine. He survived this long with one HP, he'd survive it now.

  Except he used to have his magic to protect him, and Papyrus to depend on. Now he was alone. Alone and weak, the perfect prey.

  He choked out a sob before he realized what he was doing, and then he couldn't stop his tears. He was going to die. He couldn't stop anyone from hurting him like this, or hurting his child. It didn't matter what happened to garbage like him, but his kid needed to be safe. He wanted to protect them, and he didn't know how. He wasn't strong enough.    

  He was terrified.

 


	5. Bring On the Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sans meets lots of important new people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know there is actually a human gene called SHH, which is short for Sonic Hedgehog gene?  
> Well now you know.
> 
> Follow me for more shitty science facts on http://captain-shitpost.tumblr.com/

   The sandwich he fished out of a dumpster was stale, stinked of onions and was sorely lacking in mustard. He managed to eat a few bites, but then gave up with a whine and threw it into the alley wall. He felt he should be worried that the sandwich actually  _stayed_  stuck to the bricks, but he ran out of fucks to give about two days ago.

   He has completely given up on stealing now that he couldn't take shortcuts and has been living on trash, and he was fucking _sick of it._ If he was't knocked up he'd at least try snatching things, but he couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded. He couldn't risk stealing without the ability to run away.

   Maybe he should just take a chance and use a shortcut anyway. He passed out once, maybe it wouldn't happen again? But if his magic ran too low, the kid might not have enough magic to live. He'd heard of pregnant monsters collapsing due to magic exhaustion and the child's soul turning to dust, since the tiny souls needed a constant stream of magic to grow and form themselves. He really wished he knew just how much magic he could risk wasting. Heh, it would be his luck to go through all this shit just to lose the kid.

   He took a deep, shaky breath and blinked rapidly to stop the sudden feeling of agony in his soul. The idea scared the shit out of him. He put his palms over the fluttering soul, letting the gentle rolling of magic from it calm his non-existent nerves. Sometimes he wished he didn't get attached to kids so easily. Give him an innocent soul and he'd do pretty much anything to protect them. Maybe it was a flaw of his character. Maybe they just reminded him of Papyrus, back when his smiles were bright. 

   Stars, he needed to stop moping around like this. He was a lone weakling now, he couldn't afford to screw around.

   He looked at the sandwich on it's slow descent towards the floor. He was starving, but he just couldn't stomach these sorts of foods anymore. He threw up most of the night yesterday because of a very dubious cake he found. God he disgusted himself. Did eating trash make him a cannibal?

   He tried to smirk a little at his own joke, but he couldn't honestly find anything funny about it.

 

 

   It took him another two days to send his better judgement to hell and go back to the alley in which he met Grillby. He knew damn well how close he was cutting it, but he was so hungry he couldn't take it anymore. He just hoped this world's Sans didn't choose that particular night to visit the bar. The dumpster he went through nearly a week ago had some perfectly good-looking burgers. They were probably relatively fresh, and he knew they sure as hell were delicious, if this world's Grillby had half the skill the one he knew did.

   He checked the alley, then snuck up to the door and pressed the side of his head against it. He was met with silence and he sighed in relief. 

   He was just about to scramble up the dumpster when he noticed something glinting by his feet. A platter with a cover, shiny metal glinting in the faint light coming from the main street. What was that doing here?

   He carefully raised the cover and gasped. A genuine Grillby burger, still warm and smelling a bit like perfection, nestled in a bed of deliciously crispy, yellow fries. He almost went and pinched himself to make sure it wasn't a dream.

   Why was there food on the floor? It obviously wasn't trash, and it was recently made. Grillby wouldn't bring his own dinner out and then leave it here, right? Then it hit him-was it there for him?!

   He was completely torn between sticking his head directly into the plate and inhaling the fries and running away. Free food just lying around set off every single alarm in his head. Was it poisoned to keep people like him away from the bar? Or was it spiked with something?

   He gulped audibly and tried to ignore the simultaneous pang of hunger and fluttering of the kid's excited soul. It didn't seem likely to him. Grillby was a strangely peaceful monster, in that he only fought when attacked first or when someone messed with his bar, not to mention something as underhanded as poisoning seemed unlike him. He always preferred to either toss monsters out of his bar or just annihilate them with fire when they were being problematic. But why would he just feed him? It made no sense. Did he pity him?

   He felt a wound in his pride at the same time he felt a rush of gratitude, but stomped his anger out quickly. The food was probably alright, and even if it wasn't, he just couldn't take his hunger anymore. Lacking any sort of bag, he scooped the fries into his pockets, and grabbed the burger, then scurried into the maze of back alleys. He took his first bite after a few steps and moaned at the taste of grease and meat on his tongue. It had been so _long_.             

   After the first bite he devoured the meal, only slowing down once his stomach started aching. With the burger finished, he started digging out handfuls of fries, so busy trying to get all the lost fried potato bits he didn't even notice the human until he ran into her.

   He felt his body suddenly go into overdrive as he realized the new danger, and felt his eye flare up as he gathered his magic. The human seemed oddly unimpressed with his display. She simply gave him a look filled with disdain with her sharp eyes, the flipped her dark hair and walked away, her strut somehow screaming that she wasn't afraid of him. For some reason, she seemed familiar.

   He felt sort of relieved, but who the hell does she think she is?! Sure, he hasn't showered in weeks and he probably has more holes in his clothes than he has ribs, but she had no right looking at him like he was beneath her. He growled quietly, then reluctantly walked back to his room.

 

 

   He repeated the process of coming to Grillby's, checking the door, grabbing the food and then running off 3 more times and he didn't see Grillby even once. The fifth time there, his feet were sore from walking the whole day and he was too tired to go anymore, so he quietly checked the now familiar door and grabbed the platter, sitting down on a crate and leaning on the dumpster.

   The burger was the same as the last 4 times, but damn if he wouldn't swear it was the tastiest thing ever. He let his gaze wander as he ate, looking at the piles of bottles around him. He noticed homeless humans tended to collect the bottles, but he honestly had no idea why. Bottles could be useful, but they weren't "digging through the trash for 20 of them" useful. Weirdos.

   He heard the sudden click of the door swinging open and, while he really should have been expecting it, he still jumped, and with a curse realized he managed to box himself in by sitting between the dumpster and the flaming man now watching him intently. He made a low growling noise before he could stop himself, and kept his bright-burning eye on the bartender. 

   Grillby calmly looked at the shorter monster, not approaching him and keeping his hands where the skeleton could see them. Even his flames were smaller than normal to make him seem as nonthreatening as possible. He put his fist in front of his face and made a sharp crackle, sound almost exactly like he was clearing his throat, the way he usually did before speaking.

   "...I'm glad you've been eating the food I left you." he murmured softly, kindly. Sans kept his gaze locked on him, magic ready for a sudden attack. The elemental seemed to sense his discomfort, and took another step back. The short skeleton felt the tension go out of his shoulders, and he slowly lowered his hands and let his magic fizzle out, making his cheek go cold again with the dulling of his eye light. 

   "Do you need anything else?" he crackled, a strong note of concern in his voice. It would have made Sans choke up a bit if he wasn't so emotionally numbed by now. He looked away from the taller monster and back to his plate, and slowly went back to his burger.

   "...you got any mustard?"

   Grillby flinched a little at his voice, momentarily surprised, but then he gave a short nod and walked back into the bar. Moments later he emerged with a bottle of the condiment and set it on the ground in front of him. Sans grabbed the bottle and popped open the cap, inhaling the delicious aroma. He couldn't stop the smile stretching across his face.

   "heh. bone appetit." he mumbled, then took a deep swig from the bottle. He chugged down half of it before letting it go with a pop, and sticking some more fries in his mouth. He suddenly noticed how much brighter it had gotten, and looked up to see Grillby crouched down in front of him, the flames on his head dancing in utter surprise. The flame man whipped his head towards the bar, and then back to him.

"...Sans?" he asked incredulously, and the skeleton choked on his fry. How did he recognize him, he thought the hoodie and bad lighting would be enough to-

   The  _pun._ Of course. He said so many puns he started saying them without even thinking. Or maybe it was the mustard. Whatever. He locked eyes, or uh, glasses, with the elemental, watching his face crumple into a frown of confusion.

   "...No. Who are you?" He asked. 

   He felt torn. He didn't wan't to tell anyone about who he was or where he came from, but this guy has been feeding him for nearly a week, and he hasn't done a single thing that could be read as threatening. He has been kind to him, and he was completely unused to it. He...owed him an answer.

   He pushed down his hood and looked up, grinning at the crackle of surprise he heard. 

   "well, you're not completely wrong. i am A sans. just not the one you know." he explained. Grillby's flames calmed down after that, but the frown remained. Well, he wasn't really frowning, since his face looked mostly the same, but Sans knew what that particular angle of flames meant. He'd seen it every time he cracked a pun around the Grillby he knew.

   "...What do you mean you're a Sans?"  He frowned. The skeleton squirmed a bit on his spot.

   "ya probably won't believe me, but there are a lot of universes apart from your own. I came from one of them, landed here. been, uh, kinda homeless. no money or nothin'." He grimaced. "...thanks for the grub. it means a lot."

   Grillby still seemed puzzled, but his frown slowly left his face and left a relaxed blankness in place. Then his eyes, hard to see behind the glasses, crinkled in what he knew was a smile. The elemental slid down to sit on the ground next to the door, relaxing his posture. He stayed quiet, and it certainly felt strange, but Sans appreciated the quiet company as he ate. You could always count on Grillby not to fill silence with empty chatter, and he wasn't pushing him for answers right now. He was lulled into drowsiness by the warmth and the sound of crackling fire, and cars and footsteps in the distance. He felt safe.

   He was finally done with his fries when he heard a pair of footsteps single out, getting louder. Through his grogginess it took him a moment to realize what was happening, but by the time he did, it was too late.

   "hey grillbz, been gone for a while. everything alri-"

   The approaching skeleton jerked to a stop and stared at the two monsters sitting on the ground, his sentence trailing into nothing. The resemblance was unsettling. The other skeleton had the same slouch, the same tired eyes that looked back at him from the mirror. He was the same, in theory, but there were all these little differences that made him seem like a stranger. He looked different with his blunt teeth and lazy grin, pink fuzzy slippers making him seem a lot less obviously threatening.

   And when his smile stretched without reaching his eyes, instead of red, his eye blazed a cold blue.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you guys know, I've spammed my friends with the best comments I've received on this fic. I love you all.


	6. The One Where Sans Makes Some "Stew"-pid Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you're falling, you might as well hit rock bottom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this chapter took forever because I was busy studying for a final test an after all the nerve-wrecking I got sick the day before the test. FML
> 
> Anyways, I got MORE LOVELY FANART!!! It's a scene from chapter 4, go check it out and shower the artist with kisses and praise: https://kay-sins.tumblr.com/post/145603649499/um-more-fanart-for-bright-eyes-by
> 
> Send me shitty puns at http://captain-shitpost.tumblr.com

   The clatter of the plate hitting the floor echoed through the alley as Sans pushed himself to his feet and away from the dumpster. He slid a few hasty steps backwards and into a crouch, arms in front of him and gathering his magic, his eye blazing as it bore into his counterpart. The other Sans just stood there as if nothing happened, and if it weren't for the blue eye staring back at him, he'd have thought he didn't even notice him. His grin still stretched too wide and showed a complete lack of amusement. The three monsters were stuck in their places, as if standing on ice that already started cracking, and he knew that the moment someone moved the ice would break.

   His counterpart was the first to act-he chuckled short and deep, shaking his head in mock amusement. He let his eyes take Sans in, his magic never going out.

   "welp, everything considered, i really didn't expect this." he said. His eye cast shadows on his face, giving the illusion of movement where there was none.. He took a step forward, and Sans took one back, growling. The other skeleton ignored his threat and took another step, then another. Grillby had gotten to his feet and was trying to wedge himself between the two skeletons, crackling loudly, but it was as if the two shorter monsters were alone in the alley.

   "buddy, you and I have a lot to talk about." the skeleton said, gathering his magic. Sans felt the flow, trying to feel what direction the attack would come from, until the magic started condensing around his own soul in the immediately recognizable way of a blue attack.

   He snapped his own magic to his core like a rubber band and almost reflexively ripped a hole in space, taking a shortcut to one of the many empty back alleys he had explored. He felt dizzy, but he was standing. Shit, shit, shit. He had to get away  _now_. He took a deep breath before starting down the alley, as fast as his stomach would allow him. He got away for now, if he was fast maybe he'd get out of the town before he was caught. No time to go back for his stuff, but he'd survive.

   A sudden feeling of static over his bones was the only warning he got before a gate was ripped open, and he immediately summoned bones and whipped around, throwing them blindly in a wide arch to cover maximum area. He saw the other Sans dodge the last few bones with ease, before trying to hit him with another blue attack. He managed to get around it after distracting him with a bone thrown at the other skeletons head, and he ran backwards to put as much space between them.

   He took a deep breath, shaky from exertion. He forced his magic to calm and focus, gave himself a moment to think as the two skeletons stared at each other, waiting for an opening.

   He'd been in a lot of shitty situations, and this was a  _really shitty situation._  After the magic boost his meal gave him he had enough magic to conjure bones,  but he had maybe 2 more shortcuts in him before he passed out, and the Blasters were out of the question. The blasted things wasted magic like nobody's business. His counterpart most likely knew all his tricks, and didn't have the handicap of low magic levels. He doubted he could outrun him, and it seems the other skeleton was perfectly capable of following his shortcuts.

   Welp. He was  _boned_.

   The other Sans summoned his own bones, but kept them behind his back, poised to attack. He rocked back on his heels and shoved his hands in his pockets, eyes going back to their normal state. If it wasn't for the waves of magic still emanating from him, he might almost look non-threatening.

   "I gotta say, i've never fought anyone with 9 LV before." he said casually. Oddly enough his voice was different from Sans'. Less raspy, somehow. 

   "let me tell you something. i don't know how things work where you come from..." he said, his eye-lights going out, leaving dark sockets to stare through him, "...but we don't run around town killing monsters here, buddy."

   He felt shivers run down his spine and drops of sweat pooling in the crease between his neck and shoulder, soaking his shirt. No wonder monsters started shaking when he turned off his eye-lights, because that was _scary._  He tried to speak, but his voice died out. He coughed once, twice until it started working again, keeping it as steady as he could.

   "i didn't kill anyone in this world." he said. The other Sans narrowed his eyes slightly.

   "buddy, if you expect me to believe that after all the EXP you gathered, you must think I'm a  _bonehead,_ " he said. Sans felt a shift in the air flow and reflexively jumped to the side, avoiding bones flying at him from the back. He avoided another volley and managed to keep still for the few cyan bones interspersed. He kept dodging until his back hit the wall, then summoned a bone for each hand and started deflecting the incoming attacks. As he turned to block a slew of bones to his left, he felt a flow of magic as a single bone flew at him from his blind spot at his right. No time to dodge, he made a shortcut to the alley end and stumbled, his vision going black for a moment. He could feel his knees shaking as he found his footing again.

   The other Sans had kept infuriatingly still throughout their battle, his eye-lights watching Sans' every move, every heaving breath he took, every rattle of his bones.

   "don't bother lying. alphys ran tests on the remnant magic at the crime scenes, and the monsters were killed by concentrated beams of energy. i know it wasn't me, other monsters can't use that magic. it was a mystery...until i saw you." he smiled tensely. "why'd you do it? i doubt you were attacked by them-they were peaceful, had families. was it for money? the thrills? cuz buddy, i gotta say...that's pretty disgusting."

   Sans' thoughts raced at this revelation. Someone has been killing monsters? And the other Sans thought it was him? How in the name of Asgore's hairy balls did he keep getting stuck in these situations?! Or wait, what if the other Sans was trying to cover his own crimes by pushing them on him? Was the son of a bitch trying to frame him?!

   The other skeleton sighed. "listen, i don't like killing if i don't have to, but one of the monsters from papyrus' job went missing too, and i'm not sitting around while my bro's in danger. so how about you calm down and surrender? no hard feelings. you don't look so hot anyways, your face is  _bone-white_ , heh."

   Sans was tempted to tell him  _exactly_  where he could stick his hard feelings, but bit down on his tongue. The felt a phantom pain on the back of his knees as a memory of a staticky voice rang in his head.  _You talk too much, Sans_  it garbled, dings interspersed through the words.  _Focus on your enemy, not your voice. Now dust off and we'll do another 4 rounds before your DT injections and dinner. Don't pass out before that._

   The other guy wasn't likely to listen, and he needed to watch for an opening. He kept his mouth shut and his eyes on the other Sans.

   The other skeleton merely shrugged, and with a flurry of movement he was dodging bones again, keeping his belly away from the attacks. In the middle of alternating cyan and white bones, he suddenly felt the blue attack condensing around his soul, and shortcutted before he could think about it. Landing a dozen steps farther, he cursed his shortsightedness as a strong wave of nausea and dizziness overcame him. He swallowed back magic bile and tried to keep his gaze on the other Sans, but his vision was dark and he could barely hear anything other than buzzing. He was completely dry now, his soul acting up, trying to drag the last bits of his magic towards it. He felt fear grip him and his carefully kept calm give way to panic as the kid's soul slowed it's fluttering. His mind already fuzzy from his magic depletion, his panic screaming  _get out, get out NOW,_ he shortcutted to a different alleyway, having no idea where he landed, and somehow kept himself upright.

   He was just barely conscious, his legs keeping him up without input from his brain. He felt static and then heard a voice near his side, but he didn't have enough energy to turn. It sounded like he was under a lake, the sounds and light muffled, his body heavy.

   He heard something that sounded like his own voice yelling in alarm before everything went dark.

 

 

 

   As he slowly drifted towards consciousness he heard muffled sounds from somewhere nearby. He wanted to shift out of his position on his side, but kept himself still so as to not alert others of his awakeness. He felt that he was lying on something very soft and comfortable, and it took him a moment to realize it was a bed. He was covered with a thick comforter, and he gently rubbed the fabric underneath his fingers to ground himself. It was so soft, it had to be expensive. He groggily looked around as far as he could without moving.

   The room was coloured in shades of warm browns and reds, an old wooden closet covering most of the wall he was facing. It was half-opened, revealing a row of identical white shirts inside. He saw a metal alarm clock on the night table near his face and a frayed, old book next to it. It had a glittery green bookmark stuck in the middle. He could faintly smell ash.

   A loud series of crackles, followed by a familiar voice coming from behind his back made the realization hit him, jolting him awake. This was Grillby's room. Lying with his back to the voices outside the room, he couldn't turn to watch the two voices argue, but he kept his ears sharp.

   "...Sans. You attacked him. In his  _condition_. He could have fallen down from magic exhaustion." Grillby crackled angrily. He really nailed the disappointed teacher voice.

   "well how was i supposed to know that? i saw he had trouble fighting so i went easy on him, but i didn't know he was knocked up!" his other self replied in annoyance.

   "He's homeless and pregnant. We should be helping him, not attacking him. You shouldn't be attacking monsters without checking if they're actually guilty. You should have left it to the police, or Undyne."

   His other self took a deep breath. "ok, i was too rash and i almost hurt him. But come on grillbz, i know how much i can take in a fight. I didn't attack him more than he could handle. and i needed to...i had to catch him somehow. what if he was the killer and i let him escape?!" the skeleton said, and even if Grillby couldn't, Sans recognized the tinge of fear in his voice.

   The sounds of footsteps approaching startled him, but he tried not to tense up. He collected magic to his hands for defense, wincing slightly at the sharp sting of pain in his soul. He felt a flutter in his abdomen as he felt the room warm up.

   "...He's very lucky I know healing magic. It was close. He'll need proper rest and food once he wakes up." 

   The shuffle of slippers on carpet stopped behind his back. "you're a life-saver, grillbz. a real light in shining armor." he sniggered. It was followed by an exasperated puff. He felt a warm hand touch his forearm, magic flaring in it.

   He swung to the side and used the momentum of his body turning to throw an arc of bones at the voices. He landed on his feet near the bottom of the bed, as he saw the other Sans managed to shortcut himself and Grillby away from the bones that were now imbedded in the wall.

   He stepped backwards onto the floor just as another wave of dizziness hit him, making him sway dangerously and finally land right on his butt. He looked up with as much rage as he could summon at the two flabbergasted monsters in front of him and then scooted backwards until he had a solid wall behind him and a desk to his side. _Always protect your back._

   His other self slowly raised his hands and relaxed his posture. Grilby gave off a very gentle glow, trying to calm him, as his other self smiled at him. "hey, pal, why don't you put out your magic and we talk for a bit."

   "why don't you go fuck yourself,  _pal_."  he snarled. The other Sans slowly blinked, but ignored his threat and sank to sit in front of him on the floor.

   "wow. uh, i'm not really interested, romeo. and i'd at least buy you dinner first, i'm not rude." he said with a shit-eating grin. Grillby crouched down next to him and gave him a perfectly straight face that somehow still conveyed he was done with everything.

   It took him a moment to understand, but once he did he snorted and started laughing, feeling his face warm up. He looked at the two monsters.

   "oh geez. i shoulda seen that one  _coming_." He snickered, making finger guns at the other skeleton. The other Sans went bright blue in the face, and gave a startled, yet delighted laugh. Grillby merely put his head in his hands, blue flames peeking between his fingers.

   "that was completely inappropriate, pal. great job." he smiled. Grillby got up and exited the room, making noises in the kitchen, leaving the Sanses alone. He felt uncomfortable sitting near his counterpart without Grillby as a buffer, but the other skeleton seemed in good spirits. And they did heal him. He didn't want to get arrested for murders he didn't commit, but he knew he wasn't going anywhere. Not after that last embarassing magic failure.

   Grillby soon returned with a bowl of piping-hot stew. Sans was almost disappointed it wasn't fries, but he wasn't picky. It was delicious anyway, the stew thick and tasting of tomato. He slowly ate it as the other two monsters watched him.

   His counterpart scratched the back of his head, looking to the side. "i guess I owe you an apology. you almost fell down because i pushed you too hard. sorry."

   He choked on a piece of meat. What was that about?

   "why are you apologizing? i'm nobody to ya. you don't care whether i'm dust or not." he said between coughs. Grillby gave him a look filled with pity, and he couldn't contain his bristle. He didn't need anybody's _pity._  Thankfully, he noticed and schooled his face into a neutral expression. Sans seemed almost hurt.

   "geez, pal. I'm no hero, but i think i'm above killing pregnant monsters." he said. Red glared.

   "you're the one that attacked me, asshole. even though i didn't kill whoever you were accusing me of killing." he spit out. His counterpart gave him a guilty look. It looked out of place on him.

   "just let me explain." he sighed. "someone's been kidnapping and killing monsters in town. we're missing 7 monsters now, 4 confirmed as dusted. as i said, they were killed by energy blasts, and those are pretty rare. but you couldn't do it, huh? you don't even have enough magic right now to shortcut, let alone summon a blaster. grillbz said you had even less before you ate. so i guess you're off the hook now."

   Sans was skeptical. It seemed too convenient-this guy tried to kill him, and now he was just, what, free to go? Well not kill him-capture him, if he was actually telling the truth.

   The other Sans was watching him intently, and probably saw the doubt on his face. 

   "ok, you don't have to believe me. but it's dangerous for you to keep going like this. you've got to admit you need help. so tell us what happened and let us help you, alright?" he said, a strangely encouraging smile on his face. Grillby was kneeling beside him, patiently waiting for an answer in silence, as he often seemed to do.  All he could think of was a chorus of  _don't trust them._  He should be shortcutting away from here, stealing food and running. He couldn't rely on anyone, he was alone, he could tough it out. That's the way he's lived most of his life, that's how he's kept himself and Papyrus  _alive_  this long.

   But the other monster was right. He wasn't just risking his own life-he was risking something much more important. His child. And he was so tired of running away anyway. He didn't want to leave the warmth, calm and safety of this room, and everything else be damned.

   He ate the last few spoonfuls of the stew while he thought. It tasted like home. It steeled his resolve.

   "alright. I need help." he said, trying not to sound choked up. "now, can i get a refill? i'm starving."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also let me tell you writing Sans is awful. I mean UF!Sans is basically an OC so I can write him however I like, and Grillby has two lines of dialogue in the game so you can also make him be whoever. Sans has a canon personality though, and he's difficult. I still love him.
> 
> Also holy crap I have so much support! Over 300 kudos is like 250 kudos more than I ever thought I'd get for this fic! You guys are amazing, and I love your comments ;.;
> 
> EDIT: Sorry for the long wait for the next chapter! I SEVERELY underestimated just how much college would kick my ass, and I still have so many tests (NEVER study medicine if you're a procastinator and lazy. Never). I can't guarantee I'll be able to update before the 20th, after which I'm finally on a break.  
> Thank you for your patience and support!


	7. Wisps of Light in the Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans settles in, and receives two names.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so between exams and babysitting my cousin it's been over a month since I updated, so have a 5700 word chapter now. I figure I should start making my chapters longer to prevent this fic from becoming a 50-chapter monstrosity. I mean, it probably will anyway, but still.
> 
> Secondly, FANART OMG go check it out pls: http://t0asty-marshmall0w.tumblr.com/post/146098572962/captain-shitpost-i-drew-fan-art-of-bright-eyes
> 
> Want to give me ideas for a oneshot? Want someone to overthink Undertale with? Come hit me up at http://captain-shitpost.tumblr.com/

  It took a few stuttering tries, but slowly, between bites of his stew, he told his story. He started explaining it in broad strokes, but by the end he was spitting out all his worries and all he'd been through like it was poison. By the time he was done he realized he had stopped eating, the stew had gone cold, and he felt lighter and more mentally exhausted than he had in years.

  When was the last time he'd actually told someone what was wrong, instead of brushing them off with a rictus grin and a joke? Did he...had he ever? He always kept all the bad thing he'd had to do from Papyrus, and he never trusted anyone else with that knowledge. Fuck, he really was alone. 

  Okay, enough. He was exhausted and he felt more drained than any other day these last 4 months, he was not going to get into another funk now. Both his other self and Grillby seemed  troubled by his story. The other Sans was merely staying quiet, processing the new information, while Grillby warily checked him over. He stuffed another spoon of stew into his mouth and frowned at the lack of heat. Grillby noticed and gently scooped up the plate, flaring the flames of his hands until the liquid started bubbling, and returned the plate, stew steaming once more. Much better.

  His counterpart broke the calm by giving him a smile supposed to look kind, but he could see in his eyesockets he was calculating.

  "is there really no one in your universe that could help you? where's your bro in all this? wouldn't he help you out?" he asked. Sans ignored the sharp pain in his soul at the thought of his brother. Was he alright now? Was he hurt, or... He ate some more to give himself a moment.

  "boss' got his hands full with his job, and with just keeping himself alive. i can't ask him to risk it all for my whims." he said. A flame over Grillby's eye made a slight arch, perfectly imitating a raised eyebrow.

  "...What do you mean, whims?"

  Sans took a deep breath. "this thing i'm doing now? it's stupid as all hell. i have one hp, i have no business having kids. and I did, you know, go to another universe, almost get myself killed, and was captured. and despite all that it's still safer than my own universe. " he said, watching and enjoying the quick flicker of guilt on his counterpart's face. " my magic's gone to shit too so i can't even fight back. i'm being completely stupid, and frankly if i told boss about it, he'd say so too. and i'm still doing it because i'm too soft to get rid of the kid. that absolutely sounds like a whim to me." he concluded bitterly.

  Grillby took a moment to gather his thoughts, eyebrows (or eyeflames, or what would you call them) furrowed. The other Sans had the exact same face. It was kind of funny actually.

  Finally Grillby looked up. "...I don't understand how risking your life to protect your child is a _whim_. Or anything short of admirable," he said decisively. 

  Sans felt a bit like someone threw a brick at his head, only it turned out to be a sponge shaped like a brick and so actually soft. In short, surprised. Honestly he had expected the two monsters to agree that his plan was stupid, but Grillby seemed genuinely dismayed that he thought that way. Even the other Sans nodded his head at Grillby in support.

  It was strange for a monster to protect anything other than their own skin. Of course, the majority of monster parents protected their young in the Underground, but they always treated it as a necessary evil, a weakness of emotion and parental instincts overruling common sense. He never heard of it being treated as something to be proud of. It made his soul glow a bit at the praise, warming his sternum from the inside.

  The other skeleton scratched his nasal bone. "say, why do you keep calling your bro 'boss'? kind of a weird choice for a nickname." he said. Sans gave him a blank look

  "...because he _is_ my boss? i mean, i'm a sentry and he's the vice-captain of the royal guard. he outranks me."

  The other Sans gave him a strange look. "your bro's the vice-captain? wow." 

  Sans couldn't quite erase the smug grin off his face. "yeah, I know. he's a complete badass. worked his ass off training until undyne had to take him in. he's one of the toughest monsters in the underground, she'd be crazy not to." he said with pride in his voice. Then he frowned. "your bro isn't? i figured he'd be strong too."

  "he is strong," the other Sans said, " but he wouldn't hurt a fly. when frisk came to the underground, he couldn't even capture them. he ended up letting them go, went on a date with them and then he friendzoned the kid. he was so excited he wouldn't stop talking about it for a week."

  It took him a moment to understand, since his mind was busy imagining his own bro getting excited about friendzoning someone, but he finally connected the name to the face. So the human's name was Frisk, huh? He remembered the statue he saw nearly every day and felt a throb of irritation in his bones.

  "speaking of, what's the story with your human?" he asked. His counterpart gave a shrug.

  "i honestly have no idea." he said, noting Sans' look of confusion. "they fell to the underground, flirted a lot, made friends with everyone, came all the way to the palace to fight asgore, and then we all went there as support and were attacked by that weird flower. next thing we know the barrier is gone and the kid is passed out, and we somehow know their name. it was pretty crazy.“

  "wait, they're alive?!" Sans exclaimed. Grillby and the other Sans shared a look.

  " 'course they are. why wouldn't they be?" he said. "why, are they dead in your universe?"

  Sans furrowed his browbones. "if they're alive, how the hell did you get out? you need 7 human souls to break the barrier."

  "the kid's keeping mum about it. it probably involved all the monster souls being absorbed by...something. but then everybody woke up after the barrier broke like nothing happened, just like the kid. so yeah," he grinned, "no idea.“

  He took a moment to process this. The kid was alive after all, and the monsters were free. He wished things could have worked out that well in his own universe, but at this point he was starting to come to terms with the fact that his luck was utter shit. Knowing the kid was fine did improve his opinion of the monsters here. He felt like a weight he didn't even notice before got taken off his shoulders.

  He was cut off in his thinking by a strong wave of sleepiness. He didn't bother covering his mouth as he yawned wide, swaying a bit where he sat. He blinked groggily at Grillby, who seemed very focused on his mouth. He seemed to be staring at his teeth with a mixture of trepidation and curiosity. He couldn't blame him, they were intimidating as fuck.

  "hey, no need to strain yourself. our flaming doc over here said you just need sleep and good food, and luckily for you my house has both. well, we have food. i guess the good part is debatable." the skeleton drawled. Grillby nodded.

  "...I'd offer my own apartment, but I only have one bed."

  "yup. come on, you get a spare bedroom and all the pasta you can eat. sounds pretty cozy to me."

  The other skeleton stood up and stretched, and then extended a hand to Sans. He looked at the offered limb with thinly veiled distrust. When he looked up to his counterpart's eyes, he was as relaxed as he ever seemed, but his smile touched his eyes this time. He looked back down and grabbed his hand, using the help to heave himself up through the light dizziness.

  He let go of the hand , but the other Sans kept his hand near his elbow to catch him in case he was faint. It gave him a complicated feeling of being insulted and warm at the same time. He acted like it wasn't there as he faced Grillby.

"...thanks. you helped me even though ya didn't have to. i won't forget it." he said. Grillby cocked his head dismissively, as if telling him to go ahead and forget. Then he turned to the skeleton. "and thank you. for the place to stay and food and all that shit. even though you tried to kill me." The other monster gave him a look.

  "i wouldn't have killed you. i was just tiring you out so I could pin you with a blue attack. give me a break." he grumbled. Sans looked away, smirking on the inside. He wouldn't be forgetting that so quickly, but he was willing to put it behind him. And it was fun making the otherwise laid-back guy stew in guilt.

  The other Sans and Grillby exchanged a few more words and goodbyes, then he felt a hand on his shoulder, and the next thing he knew he was inside a hallway. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths to get rid of the feeling of displacement. It was a lot more disorienting when someone else took him on a shortcut.

  He heard a series of bangs followed by a crash from the room beyond, then footsteps quickly approaching. He recognized those light yet decisive steps.

  "SANS, WHERE WERE YOU THIS LONG? IT'S LATE AND THE SPAGHETTI HAS GONE COLD! WHAT WAS THIS 'URGENT BUSINESS' THAT KEPT YOU FROM SAMPLING MY CULINARY MASTERPIECE?" Papyrus said, stopping in front of them. Sans did a double take. For some reason seeing someone looking so much like his brother was stranger than seeing his own doppelganger.

  The height was there, if not even greater than his brother's, the ridiculously straight posture and pose all familiar. But he seemed...softer. Less angry, less like he was used to life tearing him down. He still looked like he was happy. It reminded him of his brother when he was still a babybones.

  The other Papyrus stood there, perplexed, for only a moment. Then his face brightened up in a huge smile.

  "I DIDN'T KNOW WE HAD A GUEST! HELLO, I'M PAPYRUS, GUARD OF HUMAN SHOPPING STRUCTURES CALLED 'MALLS' AND STUDENT OF THE CULINARY ARTS!!! YOU ARE JUST IN TIME FOR DINNER!" he said-well, yelled more like. "WHAT'S YOUR NAME, STRANGE NEW SKELETON?“

  His counterpart cleared his throat. „hey, bro? remember how I told you about...other universes? how there are universes that are similar to ours, but a little different?“

  "OF COURSE. THE GREAT PAPYRUS REMEMBERS EVERY CONVERSATION HE'S HAD! ALTHOUGH I'M NOT SURE I UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING.“ he said, frowning.

  "yeah, well. this guy is basically me, but from a different universe. he's, uh, kinda run into some problems so he came to ours. he doesn't have anywhere to stay so i told him he can stay here.“ he said. Papyrus whipped his skull to Sans so fast he was a little worried it would fly off.

  "YOU-YOU'RE SANS? FROM A DIFFERENT WORLD?“ he said with an awed voice. Sans blushed a little at the attention.

  "uh, yeah. 'sup.“ he said. Suddenly he felt arms around his chest and his feet leave the ground. He almost reflexively gathered magic to his hands to let bones fly, but caught himself at the last second. The arms around his ribs squeezed, and the sensation was so foreign it took him a bit to realize it was a hug.

  "I CAN'T BELIEVE I GET TO MEET ANOTHER SANS!!!“ he whooped, whirling him through the air. „ANY BROTHER OF MY OWN COUNTERPART FROM A STRANGE OTHER WORLD IS A BROTHER OF MINE! YOU LOOK JUST LIKE SANS, EXCEPT MORE...RED. AND SWEATIER.“ he concluded with a grimace. Sans was freaking out a little at the commotion, but it was...kinda nice. Warm. It felt like home, from a time long ago. The other Sans was watching the spectacle, amused.

  "WAIT, IS YOUR NAME ALSO SANS?“ Papyrus asked, head tilted.

  "yup. sans the skeleton, at your service.“ he chuckled. The guy was awfully cute for such a big monster.

  "WE SHOULD THINK OF A COOL NICKNAME FOR YOU!!! LIKE 'THE GREAT LAZYBONES'!!!“ he exclaimed excitedly.

  "how about 'the bone master'?“ the other Sans chuckled. Papyrus glared.

  "SANS NO.“ he said sharply. "HOW ABOUT 'RED'? IT'S BOTH FITTING AND A REALLY COOL COLOUR! YES, IT'S PERFECT! VERY BOLD AND HEROIC!!!“ he nyeh'd.

  "yeah, sure, why not.“ Red said. Papyrus cackled and twirled him. Red made a face-all the movement was starting to make him nauseous. Sans winced in sympathy.

  "bro, you might want to put him down. he's, uh, kinda delicate right now. he's eating for two.“

  "SANS, YOU ALWAYS EAT FOR TWO.“

  "nah, I meant he's got a babybone in the oven.“ He paused at the look of confusion on his brother's face. "he's knocked up, paps.“

  Red wanted to hiss at the idea of him being delicate in any way, shape or form, but he was grateful Papyrus put him down gently nonetheless. Papyrus covered his mouth with his hands, sparkles in his eyesockets.

  "YOU'RE-WOWIE! I'LL BE SURE TO MAKE THE MOST NUTRITIOUS FOOD FOR A GROWING YOUNG BABYBONES!!! SIT DOWN, I'LL MAKE THE GREATEST MEAL YOU HAVE EVER TASTED!!!“ he said, then ran at top speed in what Red assumed was the direction of the kitchen. He looked at the other skeleton.

  "welp. that went well.“ he said. Red blinked slowly.

  "...this shit's so weird, i swear to fuck.“ he muttered.  He decided to get comfy on the living room couch, listening to the loud banging and chatter coming from the kitchen, and was surprised when shaking woke him up, Papyrus rousing him from his nap to eat. He couldn't believe he just fell asleep. If this was his own world he'd have died ten times by now. It was a bad idea to be so relaxed.

  Dinner was strange.  The two brothers spent most of it either joking or complaining about said jokes. The banter was filled with intentional ribbing and false anger, but it seemed the two were perfectly happy. He thought back to the few evenings he shared with his brother not filled with tense silences or guilt. How sometimes they'd watch TV together and talk shit about Mettaton's acting skills, or they'd trade barbs over the tidiness of Sans' room. He was happy then.

  Then the next morning he'd remember he didn't deserve happiness, Boss would have his job to do, and they'd go back to ignoring each other for another few weeks, apart from Papyrus ejecting him from bed when he couldn't do it himself. He kept his gaze locked on the bowl of pasta in front of him to hide the way his eyelights flickered.

  After dinner, Papyrus cleaned up and Sans showed him around, then took him to a spare bedroom. He thought he'd finally be able to sleep in peace, but when his counterpart closed the door behind them, he tensed in preparation.

  "i was hoping to talk to you about something. and since i know you don't appreciate me beating around the bush, i'll cut to the chase: it's about your LV.“ He said, face that careful mask of neutral amusement. Red flinched.

  "alright, i get it, you've been through a lot of crap, and i get that you didn't have enough magic to attack anyone here. but you still have 9 LV. 2 or 3 LV from defending yourself, fine. but nine's not something you gain through self-defence. that's a lot of dust on your hands. and i'm gonna help you out, since you're in a tight spot, but i'm gonna keep a socket on you. just a heads-up.“ he said nonchalantly.

  Sans could feel anger churning in his soul, slowly but surely gaining momentum. How fucking dare this guy talk to him like that?!

  He looked into the eyesockets of his counterpart, magic blazing. "and what the hell do you know about me, asshat? or what living in my shitty universe is like? you don't know what i've been through. you just sit there acting all high and mighty when you didn't even have to kill anyone to survive." he growled, spitting his anger like venom. He brought a phalanx to his gold tooth and tapped it twice, with force.

  "you know how i got my tooth knocked out? some fucker tried to kidnap papyrus, i don't even want to think about what for, and i attacked him. got a tooth knocked out and two ribs broken for my effort. and then the fucker laughed at me, told me my little bro would fetch a good price in the markets." he spit.

  "i threw bones at him. asshole just knocked them away. couldn't knock a single HP of him. so I ran up to him, jumped on him and ripped his throat out with my teeth. " he gulped. "i was six."

  He suppressed the full-body shudder, feeling his eye-lights flickering. Then he turned the full power of his glare on the other skeleton, enjoying the slightest twitch of his posture straightening.

  "I killed monsters to protect myself and papyrus. then i killed monsters to protect the king as a judge, because the pay was better than any other job could get me. i did what i had to. so you can take your moralizing bullshit and stick it. i'd do it all again." he huffed, out of breath. He actually managed to tire himself out from his rant. Stars, if Boss were here he'd never hear the end of it about his shitty stamina.

  Sans was looking at him with that calculating look he was really starting to hate. He wanted to stick a bone right in the middle of his smug, cold face, but he knew he'd never catch him if he tried. After a few moments, Sans smiled and shook his head.

  "wow. you're really easy to rile up, huh? not to mention you're surprisingly honest when you lose your temper." he said. "you really love your bro, huh?"

  Red flinched for a moment, then slowly went from surprise to pissed-off understanding. His glare could make a weaker monster cry. "you _asshole_. you-you're pissing me off on purpose just to rile me up and see how I react.“ he growled out. The other Sans gave him a shit eating grin and a shrug.

  "hey, it's just a bit of _ribbing_ , bucko. i just want to get a handle on what you're like, is all. i believe you weren't the killer, and I figure you're safe enough to be around my bro and friends as long as i keep an eye on you.“ he said. Red felt too tired to keep up his aggressive front.

  "you know, you're annoying as fuck. i honestly get why boss nagged me so much if this is the kind of bullshit i put him through“ he sighed. Sans chuckled before straightening up and handing over a pile of clothes. Red unfolded them to reveal a pair of gym shorts and a black t-shirt with a skull on it, "BAD TO THE BONE“ written on the front. He loved it.

  "been a while since you changed, right? papyrus said you can give your clothes to me so he can stick 'em in the wash. bathroom's right down the hall if you want to wash up, extra blankets are in the bottom drawer.“ Sans said. He didn't look like he was about to leave, so Red ignored him and started changing. By the time he was done, Sans wasn't looking him in the face and looked supremely uncomfortable. It was actually the most emotion his counterpart seemed to show so far. He remembered the other Sans seemed a bit embarrassed when he cracked sexual jokes too. So he was shy when it came to nudity and sex, huh? He'd remember that. It sounded like the perfect ammo to tease the lazy monster.

  Sans coughed once to clear his throat. "you've, uh, got a lot of scars.“ he mumbled. His gaze fell to his radius and the tiny dot-shaped indents on it, and his eye-lights constricted. "are-are those from the dt?“

  Red flinched and instinctively went to cover the scars, but held himself in check. He forced himself to meet his counterpart's gaze and hold it.

  "heh. he...got a little overenthusiastic, ya know?“ he said, a hint of skittishness in his posture. Scars were commonplace in his world, but the needle marks always raised more question than the various healed fractures and nicks he had on his arms, legs and ribs. He preferred to keep his hoodie on just to keep the curios eyes away from him. Sans seemed carefully neutral.

  "...yeah. things with gaster were...complicated. i'm still not sure what to think about the whole mess.“ he said tiredly.

  Red blinked as he felt that familiar sense of numbness that came with shock overcome him, making him feel like he was merely observing his body from the inside, his own feelings far removed. He was pretty sure he was chipping his palms with how hard he was digging his phalanges into it, but he barely felt the pressure.

  It was like a puzzle piece that, once stuck in place, suddenly made the picture make sense. Hearing the Doctor's name made him remember his face, and remembering his face brought memories of the lost scientist in such a rush he felt he was drowning, trying to grab onto the memories he only got in flashes and sensations before but now remembered in perfect clarity. He could only stand and watch.

  "-red! red, can you hear me?!“ came a yell from his front, and it took Red a moment to realize his eyelights were off. He scrambled to remember how to make his body work and focus, and once he did he was met with the face of his counterpart creased in worry. He took in a shuddering breath, realizing he'd been hyperventilating for what was likely a couple of minutes. He saw Sans breathe a sigh of relief and slowly pry his phalanges from where they were digging into his shoulders. They left a slight stinging sensation that helped ground him.

  "geez, you really scared me. what happened?“ he asked. Red shaked his head.

  "i-it was nothing. nothing happened.“ he squeezed out. He needed to be alone. He needed time to ground himself. Sans didn't seem convinced.

  "...did you not remember gaster until n-“

  " **I T ' S   N O T H I N G**.“ he growled out, his eyelights once again flickering out and in. He felt the other skeleton flinch back, then saw him nod carefully.

  "...call me if you need anything.“ he said, and with the feeling of static electricity he was gone. Red glared at the spot he stood on seconds ago as if it personally offended him, then slowly slid to sit on the floor, grabbing the sheets off the bed and wrapping himself in them. He was still on the tail-end of the rush of memories, so he picked one and let it unfold.

_He woke up slowly, breathing sharply at the pain. Even just opening his eyes hurt._

_"Good morning.“_

_He turned to the side,looking at the tall-albeit strange looking-skeleton wearing glasses, sitting in a chair at his bedside. The sound of a monitor beeping filled the room, and he looked at his arm to see he was hooked up to it as well as a magic infuser. He frowned._

_"t_ _he experiment went to shit, huh?“ he said, voice breaking from the strain and sending him into a coughing fit. Gaster turned a dial on the magic infuser and the warmth from the healing magic increased._

 _"That may just be the understatement of the year.“  the scientist dinged in that strange voice few seemed to understand. "It seems we hit your threshold for DETERMINATION. You actually started to melt. I honestly didn't expect you to survive, but you always_ were _stubborn.“_

_Sans felt his breath hitch. „m-melt?“_

_Gaster took off his glasses to rub his nasal bones. He'd never seen the man look so tired. "It seems that when a monster gains too much DETERMINATION, their physical forms start to lose coherence. I thought I was giving you small enough doses to avoid any danger of falling down but...“ he took a shuddering breath. "You have one HP now, Sans. I'm sorry.“_

_Sans felt a vague sense of surprise, but he'd never felt so utterly exhausted before. One HP sounded about right. "how'd i survive that?“_

_"My guess is that you shouldn't have. But the very DETERMINATION that nearly killed you kept you alive when your body would have normally broken down.“ he said in a flat voice. “I didn't mean for this to happen. For what it's worth.“_

_Sans knew he should have been furious. He might as well have gotten a death sentence. But the way the scientist looked at him- with honest remorse. Like his state hurt him more than it hurt Sans. Like he actually cared for Sans._

_He could forgive anything just for that look._

_"it's fine. I'm alive, ain't i?“ he said, putting on a grin. Gaster didn't seem to appreciate it, if his icy glare was anything to go by._

_"The DETERMINATION experiments are done. Even with a SOUL as strong as yours your body broke down before it got even close to the amount of DT a human mage has. Monsters just aren't built to handle so much of the crap, it seems. “ he sighed. „"t's back to the drawing board.“_

_Sans nodded. Then he  looked at Gaster, putting as much of his stubbornness and willpower into it. „and you won't do them on paps anymore either.“_

_Gaster nodded immediately. "I adjusted his dose for his age and planned for him to get very small doses for a much longer time, but I honestly doubt he'd succeed anyways. If you got close, maybe. But a mage has over a hundred times more DT than you do right now.“_

_"...you never told me why you were giving us dt. Is it-what do you mean, the mages have more than me?“_

_Gaster leaned into his chair, his eyelights following the cracks in the ceiling. Sans waited patiently. Gaster was rather prone to getting lost in his own head, and rushing him rarely helped anything._

_"In the war, there was a human mage.“ he finally said, eyes still stuck to the ceiling, in the voice Sans heard whenever the other skeleton explained how the world worked, "They called her the Wisp, and she was one of the strongest fighters they had. She could wipe out an entire camp of monster warriors on her own, and only a few witnesses ever survived. They claimed she could teleport, that they'd see her disappear and reappear with a knife in a monster's throat._

_"They came to me, the man in charge of all weapon's development and research, and told me to find a way to capture her. I did. A machine, powered by magic, that could bind souls to the user and make them unable to escape. Both the machine and the experiments it took would have been very illegal if done now, but back then nobody asked questions as long as it worked._

_"They brought her back, the strongest human, a mage  and the only human we had ever captured. Humans learned fast that we could absorb souls and started killing themselves before they would get captured, and they found a way to counter my machine with time. But when they brought in that scrawny little runt, the entire monster race felt victorious._

_"I ran every test imaginable on her body, on her soul. And she seemed similar to monsters, at first. Then I forced her to use her powers, and I learned two things. First, it seemed that she, a human mage, couldn't actually use magic. No bullets, no magic attacks. What she could do was  change the the space around her, like she knew where to push so reality would bend to her whims. She changed the world through sheer willpower-through sheer determination.“_

_Sans clacked his jaw shut as Gaster looked back at him. It all felt like a fairy tale, but he knew better than to doubt the scientist. Gaster started playing with his glasses. He never seemed to be able to keep his hands still._

_"Later, experimenting on the humans that fell to the Underground, I found that determination wasn't an abstract character trait. It was a physical substance, and it can be extracted and injected into others, and most importantly, it is the source of the power to reshape the world._

_"The second thing I learned was that she couldn't teleport. She could stop time. Then she'd move, killing everyone, after which she'd let time flow again. When we pushed her, the machines I developed to track her registered she could even rewind time, if only for a few minutes. So when Asgore came to me and gave me the command to break the barrier, after all the other failed attempts, the only lead I still had was to rewind time before the barrier existed.“ he trailed off, sounding unsure. "But monsters can't handle DT. Even with all the DT we extracted from the fallen humans, we have no way to channel it without the monster instantly melting.“ he concluded, voice unusually small, instead of sharp and commanding. He looked defeated._

_It was Sans'  turn to stare at the ceiling. Gaster put his hopes in him to try and remove the barrier. He felt the prickle of tears of frustration in the corners of his eyes. The Doctor fed him and his little bro, kept them safe, he cured him when Sans was close to falling down, he patiently answered their questions about the world, told them stories of the Surface, no matter how busy he was. He was the closest the brothers ever had to a parent.  And he failed him._

_He took a deep breath, trying to keep it from shuddering. "what will you do with me an' paps now?“_

_Gaster looked him straight in the eye. His mouth was strange, a mere gash in his skull instead of filled with teeth, and people tended to be intimidated by his appearance. He was sure if other monsters saw that frown, they'd run to hide in their labs. But Sans knew the man's displeasure was directed internally._

_"I will take responsibility for ruining your health. I will continue training you, albeit with modifications to accommodate your HP, until I know you can survive. And I know you've been studying nuclear physics and magic interactions from my notes behind my back.“ he said, and Sans cringed. He was sure he'd be punished for going through Gaster's stuff, but the scientist just smirked. "You're more clever than half of my assistants if you can follow that. I'm positive you can be useful as a researcher. And as long as you're under my care, Papyrus is too.“_

_"why are you so nice to us?“ Sans blurted out. He blushed at the surprised expression on Gaster's face, but decided to press on. "i mean, you do experiments on us, but you teach us how to fight and feed us and-and you're nice. you never even hit us, even when we messed up your things.“_

_Gaster gave him a sympathetic look. Sans was glad it wasn't filled with pity. "You two don't even know what the surface is like. What it's like to see the stars.“  He looked at the wall as if he could see through it. "Monsters were better than this, once. We were always violent. But on the surface, we fought for each other, not between ourselves. These caves are ruining us. And the only thing that could help would be either Asgore getting off his furry ass and enforcing some peace, or getting out. Frankly, I think we have a better chance of breaking the barrier.“_

_"what's so great about the surface?  and the stars? they're just balls of gas on fire.“ Sans said, his voice unimpressed. Gaster smiled that soft smile that seemed reserved for the two brothers._

_"The Underground is a cage once you know how big the surface is, even if it seems huge to a child. As for the stars...I suppose the charm is in the fact that they make you feel small.“_

_"why the fuck would you want to feel small?“ Sans exclaimed, hiding the wound to his pride. He hated being reminded of his age. Gaster chuckled._

_"This is why you're still a child. You will understand one day.“ he said, getting up. He felt the warm pressure of the Doctor squeezing his shoulder, and then with a 'fhwip' of his robe, he was gone._

 

  He remembered everything. The nights Gaster read encyclopedias and puzzle books to his brother, rare smiles on their faces. The pride he felt the first time he said 'I trust you' and left an experiment to him. The other scientists gossiping that he seduced the Doctor and got his job through nepotism, and how he was torn between being furious at their disrespect to his caregiver and laughing because the scientist was completely uninterested in any romantic relationship, and only he knew him well enough to know that.

  He remembered drinking coffee in the kitchen one day, the sound of the mug smashing on the floor loud as he suddenly realized he lost someone-someone more important than his own life, someone he loved with his entire soul. And after checking on Papyrus, who was happily playing with a puzzle cube, he realized he couldn't remember who he lost.

  He remembered all those days he spent trying to bring him back, with only a heavy feeling of loss and an occasional wisp of memory to tell him he wasn't just losing his mind. He remembered the night everything went to hell, and how he gave up on someone he loved and forgot.

  He never got Gaster back. After everything, he wasn't strong enough to keep trying for him.

  But at least now he remembered his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. GUYS. This fic has over 420 kudos. where doing it man where MAKING THIS HAPEN 
> 
> Papyrus finally showed up and his manner of speech is friggin hard to emulate, but it is also ridiculously fun to write. Heck yes. I think I'm finally getting a grasp on my writing style, punctuation mistakes notwithstanding.


	8. A Day in the Life of a Knocked-up Skeleton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red meets new people, and has honest conversations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I figured I should at some point write down the fanfics I drew inspiration from and you should check out. I got inspired by many, but there are a few that were really crucial (screw it I don't know how to make hyperlinks):
> 
> "Why Me?" by Girl_Supersonicboy originally gave me the idea to write friggin Underfell Mpreg
> 
> "So I Think You've Got the Wrong Number" by WatteauYouDoing really gave me great ideas on how magic works, so I kind of picked up the ideas and ran with them (also the author of it is easily my favourite in the entire fandom)
> 
> "Date night at Grillby's" by Ghiragar is friggin majestic because it's the fic that most closely follows the tone of the game. I'm like 90% sure I accepted some of the headcanons and ideas from it but it's so huge I can't really go through all of it to check, so. 
> 
> Scream in frustration at me at http://captain-shitpost.tumblr.com/

  Blinking through the disorientation and the staticky feeling on his bones, Red looked around his old room in the abandoned building. After 3 days of rest at the home of the skeleton brothers, he was already spoiled enough to make a face at the dust making his nasal aperture itch. Sans let go of his hand once the shortcut was done, and looked around.

  „nice digs,“ he said, then flopped down onto his old pillow-pile. Red frowned.

  „not everyone can afford a nice house and a bed, asshole,“ he spit out, turning to glare at Sans. Instead of the expected smugness, Sans seemed oddly surprised.

  „geez, red, i wouldn't make fun of you for not having money for a place to stay. i meant-it's pretty cozy, everything considered,“ he replied, oddly sheepish.

  Red fought the urge to facepalm his stupid, blushing face. The damn skeleton has been nothing but perfectly nice and accommodating ever since he came to stay with him, and here he was assuming the worst of him and making him uncomfortable. He shouldn't be so snappy with the monster he owed such a debt to. And...well. He shouldn't assume everyone he talked to was making fun of him or trying to pick a fight. But damn, was it a hard habit to break.

  „uh. nevermind, then. s-sorry,“ he said, mentally facepalming again. Shit, he wished he could suck it up and apologize like a normal person. But it always felt either like the word got stuck on the way out or he'd start rambling and apologizing a dozen times.

  „ 's alright,“ Sans shrugged. „ you need any help?“

Red shook his head-he only came here to collect the few things he left behind. Apart from that, he would be happy to never see this room again.

  The only things he left behind when he went out were the scratched-up stolen camera that Sans gave him the stink-eye over and an old pen that stopped working years ago. He always carried it around in his inner pocket in the Underground, but he left it in the room to keep it from getting broken. He never understood why it calmed him down before, but now that he could remember the skeletal hand with a hole in it furiously scribbling notes with it, the calmness it caused was tinged with nostalgia.

  He glanced out the window at the neighboring building for a break from his incredibly hard work. The whole block was decrepit and probably hazardous to stay in, but movement in the alleyway alerted him to the presence of others.

  There were two humans in the alleyway today, both female if he saw right. One was shorter, blonde, a few piercings in her ears and eyebrows gleaming in the sunlight. She seemed to be explaining something to the other human, her face carefully calm. The other human wore a short white coat that contrasted her dark hair, and while her face was turned away he saw from her posture she was irritated but holding herself back. They seemed to reach some sort of consensus, and turned in opposite directions-the blonde towards the alleyways, the taller human towards the streets.

As she turned, Red squinted. Her eyes were sharp, her expression tense. He recognized her as the human he literally ran into when he was leaving Grillby's one night. Seems he had a close encounter with some drug dealers or whatever the fuck those humans were. It disturbed him a little.

  But with the way those two acted, he was starting to doubt they _were_ drug dealers. They didn't have the body language of trying to hide weapons and they weren't carrying any cases of money or merchandise. And no dealer was stupid enough not to bring weapons. He was missing a piece of the puzzle.

  „what are you looking at?“ Sans said from behind him, shuffling to see over his shoulder. Red shrugged.

  „nothing important,“ he said, stretching. „c'mon, let's go get lunch.“

  Sans grabbed his arm with the usual grin and then they were in front of the cozy brick building, neon letters currently turned off spelling out „GRILLBY'S“. The door jingled when they walked in, voices of various monsters rising up in greeting. Sans took a moment to exchange a word or two with every table, Red waiting patiently behind him. The monsters kept greeting him as well, a stream of what's your name, oh you just came to the surface, how do you like it so far, I didn't know Sans had a cousin, you really look alike bombarding him. Pop Gerbil or whatever the fuck his name was gave him a nod from his corner of the bar, and Red nodded back.

  Maybe the oddest sight in the bar were the few humans in it, seeming perfectly at ease.  A pair was sitting in a booth on what appeared to be a date, happily giggling and sharing lovestruck looks, and a single human was sitting at the bar, chatting with Grillby. Both were relaxed and the human was smiling, which made him think they were a regular. Red tried to keep his observation discreet. He was hardly a human expert, but he was pretty sure humans didn't have white hair and red eyes.

  He was glad when Sans turned towards the bar, sitting on one of the stools and motioning him forward. He expected the loud farting sound as he sat, but he also knew Sans expected that he'd expect it and so he knew the other skeleton most likely planted a whoopee cushion on every single unoccupied bar stool. Well played.

  „geez, careful, buddy. there are some serious weirdos around, planting whoopee cushions everywhere,“ Sans said with a grin. Grillby interrupted his conversation to throw him one of those neutral looks that somehow still conveyed annoyance, and then finished up his chat and walked over to them. Red gave him a nod and a grin in greeting, and got a flash of a smile in return, quickly gone like the glint off a knife.

  „heya, grillbz. how's everything?“ Sans drawled.

  „...Good. Slow day,“ he replied. Then he frowned and leaned in closer. „Another one's missing.“

  Sans may have seemed relaxed to an outsider, but to Red the sudden tension in his posture was as obvious as if he jumped out of his seat.  „who?“

  „Snowdrake. One of my regulars is friends with his father. He may have run away again, but he says he stopped doing that once he came to the surface,“ Grillby frowned. The expression he had was incredibly dark, considering he was a walking light source.

  „ok. I'll tell asgore,“ Sans said, rubbing his nasal bones. He seemed agitated and Red couldn't blame him. Monsters kept dying, and now that he was absolved of guilt, he had no leads to go on. If he had the same role as Red did in the Underground as a Judge, then he was probably asked to investigate. Although most crimes were investigated by the Royal Guard, the Guard was under the official command of the Monarchy, with all the limitations that imposed. The Judge was called in when no trace was to be left behind. Sans stretched, neck cracking, and hopped off the bar stool.

  „guess duty calls. hey red, is it okay if i call papyrus to come pick you up once he's done with classes? this is pretty urgent, and it's better if you take it easy with the shortcuts,“ he said tiredly. Red gave a hum in agreement, so Sans waved as he exited the building but never appeared in the window to the side of the door. Red turned back to the frowning flame. Once Grillby looked him in the eyes he shook his head, and gave him a nod to ask him for his order.

  „shit, I dunno, how about some food?“

  „What kind?“ Grillby asked with a smirk.

  „doesn't matter, it'll be delicious anyways,“ Red replied with a smile.

  „I am tempted to give you my healthiest vegetable soup. Be careful what you wish for.“

  „you think i'm joking? i'll eat whatever you give me, I'm not picky. i figure you could make even motor oil taste good, hot stuff,“ he said with a grin, leaning on one hand. Grillby rolled his eyes at the pun, and Red tried to snuff out the feeling of disappointment at not being taken seriously. It was better this way. It's not like he couldn't keep it in his pants, and it would just complicate his new budding friendship with the bartender. Stars know he didn't have a shot anyways. He could still appreciate the fun banter though.

  Grillby smiled. „High praise. I'll get you some fries and a burger. Anything to drink?“

  „honestly i'd kill for a whiskey right now. well, not kill. maim, maybe. but that's probably not the best idea,“ he chuckled, putting a hand on his belly before he could stop himself. He was met with a light kick that made him smile. „got any mustard?“

  „...What is it with skeletons and my condiment rack?“ he shook his head good-naturedly, and left to the kitchens. Red glanced at the clock. He still had a little while to kill before Papyrus' classes ended. He absently rubbed his belly.

  His ecto-belly has started going opaque these last few days as the child's magic mixed with his own. It was a sure sign that the soul was building a body, and a normal step in skeleton pregnancy. Still, while reassuring, he felt strange looking at himself and only occasionally seeing a glimpse of some yet-unformed magic that would become a limb. He felt them, but he missed seeing them. Next time he'd see them was when they were born, and wasn't that a terrifying thought?

  He was snapped out of his musing by the clack of plate on counter, and he immediately attacked it, making grabby hands at the mustard bottle in Grillby's hands. Grillby handed it over with an indulgent smile. He turned away from Red only for a moment to nod at the human at the bar waving and leaving. Red frowned.

  „you know, i'm surprised all the monsters seem so casual around humans,“ he said. „nobody seems pissed that they stuck us under a mountain.“

  Grillby was polishing glasses to keep his hands busy, but it seemed things were pretty slow today. Only a few monsters and that human couple remained. „...There's no point being mad at the humans when the ones responsible for it died a millenia ago,“ he said.

  „really? I figured with you fighting in the war you'd be a lot more bitter about it.“

  Grillby flinched hard enough that one of the other patrons turned to look at them. Red tried to act casual, but he knew he'd somehow fucked up. Grillby seemed frozen, staring at him. Then with a sigh, he continued rubbing the glass, slightly harder than before.

  „...I suppose I leave the past in the past,“ he squeezed out, the crackling of his flames muffling his voice.

  Red was now feeling distinctly guilty. „shit, i'm sorry grillbz. i just assumed-i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. the grillby from my world always seemed pretty casual about fighting in the war, so i figured you were the same. sorry,“ he rambled. Real smooth, dipshit. He barely knew the flame and already he managed to insult him. But Grillby shook his head.

  „It's fine. Most monsters alive today don't know I've fought in the war. It just took me off-guard. I rarely talk about it,“ Grillby said softly. „...It's not something a lot of monsters can understand, nowadays. What war is like.“

  Red looked somewhere above Grillby's left shoulder, watching the many bottles covering the wall. „yeah. i have an idea, but i can't really imagine what it's like living through something like that. must have been hell getting used to normal life after all that fighting and death, huh?“

  „...Is it difficult for _you_?“

  Red chuckled darkly. „...i keep feeling i don't deserve it. and that I'll just wake up one day, claw on my neck and fighting for scraps again.“

  „...That feeling never goes away completely. But you get used to not looking over your shoulder constantly,“ Grillby said so calmly, like it was a simple fact of life. Red wished he could believe him.

  „say, that human before. they a regular?“ he asked. Grillby seemed  to relax a bit over the change of topic.

  „Yes. I knew their father. I brew their tea in the old style, they catch me up on the things I missed while Underground,“ he crackled, replacing the glass with another from a pile. Red raised his eyebrows. That sounded like a story-the way he said it made it seem like he knew their father long ago, not in the two years they'd been on the surface. A shrill melody interrupted him as he was about to ask more, making Grillby check his phone.

  „Papyrus says he's on his way and to wait outside, since he's coming by car,“ he read. „...You should get your own cell phone.“

  Red nodded, getting off his seat. He was about to say goodbye, when a sudden thought made his eye sockets widen.

  „...fuck.   _i don't have any money._ “ he hissed out. That bonehead Sans left before he could pay! Grillby seemed puzzled though.

  „...I assumed your meal would go on Sans' tab.“

  „you let sans have a _tab_?!“ Red choked up in surprise. Grillby frowned.

  „Yes? He is my best costumer. Is that strange?“ he asked. Red couldn't help but think of the first time he ate at Grillby's.

_The knife vibrated from the force it was stuck into the counter between his phalanges. Sans knew the reputation of the bartender-one of the heroes of the War, the great Hellfire-and only the rational part of his mind screaming not to provoke the fire monster kept him from attempting to blast him to dust._

_The bartender leaned forward until their faces were an inch apart, purple flames licking at his skull, evaporating his nervous sweat. „I don't do tabs, skeleton. Pay up,“ he crackled sharply. Sans knew what he was going to do before he did it, and once the words were out of his mouth the rational part of his mind started screeching incoherently in frustration._

_„i'm kinda broke buddy, sorry. promise I'll pay you tomorrow. no need to get so_ hot-headed _about it, though.“_

_He was as surprised as the rest of the patrons when he walked away with his body in one piece instead of scattered into dust and only the ache in his hands and legs from scrubbing dishes as proof of his first meeting with Grillby._

„...never mind. i'll, um, i'll just go wait outside. thanks for the grub,“ he said and exited.

 He took a deep breath of the fresh autumn air on the outside. He doubted the Grillby from this world would approve of the more...forceful bartending his counterpart did. He was very strict with his patrons, as he had to be in his world where fights were started by merely making eye contact, but he guessed that even with the threats and general shitty attitude, a guy that would let a hungry skeleton have a meal without paying was alright.

  Huh. Maybe the two had more in common than he thought.

  Papyrus would probably take a while to come. He learned his classes were held on the opposite side of the town from Grillby's, and there were a lot of traffic jams due to construction. He felt annoyed that he couldn't just shortcut home and slightly guilty that Papyrus had to go through the effort to pick him up.

  He never seemed to mind doing anything to help Red, though. Yesterday was his day off while Sans had work at the local planetarium, so they spent the whole day on the couch, watching reruns of old Mettaton movies. Red wasn't too bored, since he never saw the various romance flicks and dramas without all the graphic bloodshed and killing, and it did make it easier to follow the plot. Every time Red tried to get up to get a snack or a drink Papyrus pushed him back down and got it for him. After a few tries Red conceded and let himself be spoiled, not that it was difficult for him. He didn't even nag Red about being lazy, and Red would never admit he kind of missed the bitching.

  He missed a lot of thing about his brother.

  „Psst, hey! Hey you, in the hoodie!“ came a loud whisper from the dark alleyway next to Grillby's, startling him. Red immediately drew magic to his hands and performed a check. Right behind the corner was a single human soul, a slightly different feel from the other humans he had checked until now. He turned to the side to see a hand beckoning him. Cautiously, with the most intimidating glare he could muster, he walked in a half-circle to keep the same distance from the human. Soon he saw a short woman, short blonde hair and two piercings in her eyebrow, a pair of scratches on her cheek that seemed like they were made by fingernails. With a start he realized it was the human he saw earlier today in front of the abandoned building.

  „whaddya want, human?“ he growled out, but she kept her eyes on him. He felt unnerved with her unwavering gaze. Humans could look so damn _intense_.

  „I wanted to warn you. Well, warn a monster,“ she said, with the cadence that implied she had gone over her speech for practice. „I'm the Weaver. And your friend, the fire one? He's in danger.“

  Red immediately straightened up, glare intensifying. „is that a threat? why exactly should i listen to you, lady?“

  „I-look. There's this group of humans-human mages-that call themselves the Circle. They're monster haters. I think they're planning to attack your friend.“

  „and how exactly do you know about it?“ he asked. She squirmed a bit.

  „...I'm part of the group. Not by choice!“ she hurriedly exclaimed, leaning away as Red stepped forward with a summoned bone in his hand, „I'm a mage as well. The leader of the Circle? The Dancer? She...she tricked me into making a soul bond with her. She's been forcing me to work for her for a long time now,“ she said, shoulders hunched, looking anywhere but into Red's eye sockets.

  Red sucked in a breath. Soul bonds were incredibly intimate things-they were made when two monsters who had strong feelings for each other touched their souls together. Soul touching, unlike sex, was never casual, as it caused an exchange of emotions and memories between the two or more monsters. A soul bond allowed a constant exchange of emotion and magic, meaning one of the monsters could save the other from falling down with their own magic-however, since one monster falling down could pull the other down with them, it was a sign of great trust to create one.

  A forced soul bond was an abomination. It was created by forcing two souls together, and instead of growing strong with positive emotions, the monster creating the forced bond needed merely the intent to forge one, while the other monster inadvertently strengthened it with hate, anger and fear. It could be used to create pain, to control the other soul, just as it could be used to help. Even in his own world the creation of such a bond was considered abhorrent, and was one of the few crimes that consistently got the death sentence, regardless of the status, power and wealth of the monster.

  „you're a human, how can you even make soul bonds!?“ he sputtered out.

  „Because we're both mages. Mages can draw out souls, and some of us can use them to fight. Or to create soul bonds,“ she said sadly. She seemed determined to stare at a crack in the alley wall.

  „She was the first mage I met, and she said she'd teach me how to use my magic, so I followed her. She trained me until I could use it, but one day she drew my soul out. She said our souls touching would help me master my powers,“ she said, looking numb.  „I didn't know what it would do.“

  Red searched her face. She seemed like she wasn't completely honest, but the way she talked, no stumbling over words to cover holes in the story or so perfectly explained that it seemed practiced, made him think the story was true.

  „and- what? you're just saving monsters out of the goodness of your soul? what's in this for you?“ he asked, arms crossed and bone attack still in hand. She frowned.

  „I didn't sign up for this, alright? I didn't agree with the Circle's attitude in the first place, I don't hate monsters-I only joined because Dancer made me. I'm not the one killing and I don't want to be. I just-run errands, scope out locations, that's all,“ she said.

  Red was suspicious. She was hiding something, he could tell, but he figured that a stranger prying would never get it out of her. And it didn't sound like a trap-there was pretty much no way the information could screw them over, at first glance. She might just be reluctant to elaborate on the forced bond. He knew he would be.

  He would run this by Sans when he saw him. He had more information on the killings and on what was going on on the surface in general, he'd let him plan if he deemed the tip legitimate or ignore it if he thought it was a trap. For now, he was curious if he could get any more information.

  „what's your name?“

  The human blinked. „What? It's Weaver.“

  Red sighed. „yeah, i'm a monster, not dumb. that's a fake name, and an obvious one at that. so why don't you tell me your real name, and i'll act like i trust you.“

  „It _is_ my name-my _real_ name. When mages awaken their powers, they pick a new name and leave the old behind. We hold great pride in the names we pick. The birth name of a mage is only shared with those they trust the most, not with strangers met on the streets,“ she explained defiantly. Red shrugged-he was hoping to get a legal name for a background check, but she wasn't budging. He'll take the info anyway.

  „thanks for the tip, lady. i'll put it to good use,“ he nodded. The human made a pretty lukewarm attempt at a smile and then turned to the alley. With a few steps, the shadows devoured her. Once he checked she was gone, he dispelled his attack and relaxed into a slouch.

  Through the window behind him he saw Grillby, turned to talk to a bunny monster in one of the booths, flames dancing in amusement. He didn't like what the human said. He didn't like it one bit. But he wasn't sure he should go in and worry Grillby before he talked to Sans. He could wait a day after all.

  It must have been another 5 minutes of worrying before vigorous honking signaled that Papyrus had arrived, as if the bright red convertible wasn't obvious enough. The tall skeleton gave him a loud greeting as he clambered in. After greetings he launched into a dramatic retelling of the failure of his souffle to rise, peppered with assurances that he'll try harder and succeed next time. Red was a bit absent, but appreciated the enthusiasm anyways.

  „ER, RED? YOU'VE HARDLY SAID A WORD. IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT?“

  But damn was Papyrus observant, even when he wasn't Boss. „it's nothing, papyrus. i ran into some human and they told me some things i should probably tell sans about. no biggie.“

  „WHAT KIND OF THINGS?“

  „i think she's connected to those disappearances. said there might be another attack soon. she might be lying about the whole thing, so i don't wanna do anything about it yet. then again, it's not like there's another lead right now, so what the hey.“

  „...WHATEVER YOU DO, BE CAREFUL. YOU'RE STILL RECOVERING!“ he said with a smile. It was Red's turn to notice something's up. He noticed the long pause, and the change from excited and peppy to distracted covered up by cheer seemed too sudden.

  „are you alright? you seem worried“ he asked. Papyrus flinched, very subtly, but it was there.

  „I-I JUST THOUGHT THERE WAS A LEAD. AND THAT THEY WERE CLOSE TO CATCHING WHOEVER WAS DOING THIS. SANS SAID THEY WERE VERY CLOSE.“

  „as far as i know they're stuck, though I'm not exactly in the loop like sans is. why'd he say that?“ Red said with a frown.

  Papyrus still had a smile on, though now it seemed like more like it was forced instead of like it was an integral part of his face. His browbones were furrowed, eye sockets cast over. He seemed...disappointed. Hurt.

  „IT'S ALL RIGHT. SANS TENDS TO KEEP BAD THINGS FROM ME BECAUSE HE WORRIES. I'M USED TO IT,“ he said, and the forced cheer in his voice made Red want to hit someone. Preferably a lazy smiling skeleton with a condiment addiction.

  „that's bullshit. my bro's one of the strongest, smartest monsters in the underground. undyne values his input, and i asked him for his opinion on my magic attacks more than once, since he's really tough and knows his strategy. he's a damn useful dude, and you've gotta be one too. your bro is stupid if he keeps things from you instead of listening to your opinion.“ he seethed. Papyrus was still glum, but the smile was softer and a lot more genuine.

„JUST BECAUSE WE'RE BOTH PAPYRUSES DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE THE SAME, RED. BUT THANK YOU ANYWAYS,“ he sighed. „AND IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S THE ONLY ONE. UNDYNE KEPT TRYING TO KEEP ME OUT OF THE ROYAL GUARD TOO, AND I DID TRY MY BEST HOPING SHE'D LET ME IN, BUT IN THE END WE GOT TO THE SURFACE AND THE GUARD DISBANDED, SO.“ he said calmly,pulling into the driveway.

  „I'M FINE WITH IT, IT'S NOT LIKE I COULD HELP. I JUST WISH THEY'D TAKE ME SERIOUSLY SOMETIMES, BUT AT LEAST LIKE THIS SANS DOESN'T WORRY AND EVERYONE IS HAPPY,“ he said, the evenness of his diction making Red think that this was a thought he repeated in his head many times. So many it didn't even hurt anymore, and became a simple fact of life. He had thoughts like that too.

  He put his hand on Papyrus' shoulder before he could get out, the other skeleton looking down at it in surprise.

  „listen, i'm not gonna pretend to know what your life here was like. but you deserve to be happy too, not just everyone around you, and definitely not at your expense. you of all people deserve that.“ he said as genuinely as he could. The fact that he believed it made it pretty easy.

  „...IS THAT SOMETHING YOU WISH YOU'D SAID TO YOUR BROTHER?“

  Red winced, then smiled bitterly. So much like his brother's, that power of observation. He couldn't believe Sans thought he could pull the wool over the guy's eyes. „so many times. but i don't have the right to anymore.“

  Papyrus mulled it over, head cocked. „WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A RIGHT? YOU'RE BROTHERS. OF COURSE YOU SHOULD GIVE EACH OTHER PEP TALKS!!!“

  He squashed down the memory that flashed in his head before it could make his eye sockets go blank. „heh. i hurt him pretty bad, once. i'm not sure i'm allowed to give him stupid pep talks or tell him how to live his life. i'm...not sure i'm allowed to act like nothing's wrong,“ he squeezed out through the lump in his throat. He felt like something was in his eye socket again.

  „IF YOU MADE A MISTAKE, YOU CAN ALWAYS APOLOGIZE AND MAKE AMENDS. YOU CAN ALWAYS TRY TO BE BETTER.“

  „trust me, papyrus. some mistakes can't really be forgiven.“ he said softly, bitterly. Sometimes he wished they could be.

  He was snapped out of his musing with a gentle hand grabbing his own. „RED? YOU-YOU'RE SCRATCHING YOUR EYE SOCKET PRETTY HARD. YOU'RE HURTING YOURSELF.“

  He blinked at his hand. He didn't even remember touching his face, but there was dust and a tiny fleck of red liquid on his fingertips and his eye socket was throbbing. Shit, he dissociated pretty hard after all, even though he didn't have a full flashback. He shook his head in an attempt to clear it.

  „sorry. i kind of zone out sometimes. i'm fine,“ he said jovially, and he could tell from his expression Papyrus wasn't buying his shit. But he let go of his hand regardless and they both came into the house. After their conversation, the silence was so heavy you could cut it with a bone attack.

  Finally, Red sighed. „listen, papyrus. i know i'm not your brother, but i know how he thinks. he lived most of his life with only the goal of keepin' you safe. don't feel guilty,“ he said, noticing the look on the skeleton's face, „he did it because it was the only thing keeping him going a lot of the time. it's...hard, changing that attitude. he just doesn't want to hurt you, so don't take it personally, okay? but you can still tell him he's acting like a douche. if he knew how much this bothered you, he'd change his act.“

  „I JUST DON'T WANT HIM TO HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ME WHEN HE HAS ENOUGH ON HIS METAPHORICAL PLATE ALREADY. I WISH I COULD HELP HIM, BUT HE ALWAYS ACTS LIKE EVERYTHING IS FINE. AND I KNOW ME BEING HAPPY IS WHAT MAKES HIM HAPPY, SO I HAVE TO STAY POSITIVE. FOR SANS, AND EVERYBODY! AND I AM POSITIVE, AND I TRY AS HARD AS I CAN, BUT SOMETIMES IT GETS TO BE A BIT...TOO MUCH,“ he explained as he started gathering ingredients for dinner. Red hoped it was lasagna. The last one was actually pretty good.

  „you can talk to me if you need it, buddy. but honestly, i recommend you go and tell all this shit to your bro. it'd make it easier for both of ya.“

  „LIKEWISE, IF YOU NEED TO TALK, THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS ALWAYS READY TO LISTEN!!!“ he exclaimed with a swish of his scarf, striking a cool pose. Then he frowned. „NOW CAN WE PLEASE MOVE ONTO ABSOLUTELY ANY OTHER TOPIC OF CONVERSATION? LIKE THE NEW METTATON MOVIE OR BONE FRACTURES?“

  Red snorted. „sure thing. what topic?“

  Papyrus' eyes sparkled. „WHEN WILL YOU HAVE THE BABYBONES?“

  Red smiled. The tall skeleton was so excited at the prospect of a baby in the house. „about 3 months more to go. i'm starting to get nervous,“ Red confessed. The fact that he had 1 HP remained, and it would be a very risky delivery. He sure hoped it would go alright.

  „SANS SAID HE'D TALK TO LADY TORIEL ABOUT IT. SHE'S A GREAT HEALER, SO YOU'D BE IN EXCELLENT HANDS! OR PAWS, AS THE CASE MAY BE.“ At Red's surprised look he elaborated. „YES, APPARENTLY SANS BECAME FRIENDS WITH THE FORMER QUEEN BACK IN THE UNDERGROUND. SHE'S VERY NICE! WE TRADE RECIPIES FOR BAKED GOODS SOMETIMES! HER JOKES ARE ALMOST AS INFURIATING AS THE ONES SANS MAKES! THOUGH I SUPPOSE THAT'S NOT EXACTLY A COMPLIMENT.“

  „wow. sans really gets around,“ he grinned.

  „ARE YOU HOPING FOR A BOY? OR A GIRL? OR SOME OTHER GENDER?“ he said, putting water on the stove to boil. Looks like spaghetti after all. He didn't mind.

  He looked to the side in thought. „dunno. i guess i learned how to handle boys with boss, but i wouldn't mind any gender.“

  „I THOUGHT YOU'D BE ROOTING FOR A BOY! BECAUSE THEN YOU'D HAVE...A SKELE- _SON_!!!“ he made a face. „...I NEED TO STOP TEXTING WITH SANS SO MUCH.“

  „would you say you're skele- _done_ with his shit?“ he guffawed.

  „OH MY GOD, RED!!! NOT ONLY ARE YOU TELLING HORRIBLE JOKES, YOU'RE SWEARING TOO! IF SANS PICKS UP THE HABIT AGAIN BECAUSE OF YOU, I'LL BE FORCED TO BAN YOU BOTH FROM DESSERT FOR A WHOLE WEEK! AND THEN YOU'D BE VERY UPSET OVER THE LACK OF MY SCRUMPTIOUS SWEETS!“

  „wow, sorry papyrus. i didn't mean to turn things _sour_ between us. i'll try and act _sweeter_ next time,“ he said with his patent shit-eating grin. Papyrus made a noise of disgust to hide his smile. Papyrus yelled a lot about hating puns, but he was always hiding a smile when he heard one. Maybe it was the quantity that was the problem-he and Sans got into a 15-minute pun-off yesterday and Papyrus promptly threw himself out the window, did a perfect somersault and landed in a rose bush. What a cool guy.

   „THAT WAS A STRETCH AND YOU KNOW IT,“ he huffed. “ER, HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF A NAME?“

  „lucida, maybe. then i can shorten it to lucy. it's cute.“ he said, still snickering.

  „THAT'S ACTUALLY A VERY NICE NAME! BUT WHAT IF IT'S A BOY?“

  „then he'll still be lucy. c'mon, i already thought of one perfectly good name, it's too much effort thinking of another.“

Papyrus frowned. „HOW LAZY! AT LEAST IT'S A DECENT NAME, I SUPPOSE,“ he conceded, decisively cutting tomatoes. „ OH, I JUST REALIZED I CAN BE THE HONORARY UNCLE!!!“ he exclaimed. „HONORARY UNCLE PAPYRUS, PROVIDER OF TOYS AND KNITTER OF TINY STRIPED SWEATERS!!!“

  Red didn't miss the emphasis on the 'honorary'. Papyrus left the title of 'uncle' to boss, and the thoughtfulness made him smile.

  „you'll be a great honorary uncle, paps.“ he said. Papyrus beamed.

  An hour later they were seated on the couch, wrapped up in fluffy blankets and with empty plates stacked up on the table. Papyrus kept up a running commentary of Mettaton's new film, and Red was content to listen apart from cracking the occasional groan-inducing pun or making fun of the special effects. The food and tea he finished filled his belly with warmth that then spread into his bones, and that warmth combined with the soft bumps from the tiny monsterling and the voice next to him explaining how Mettaton was definitely the one who killed Mettaton while Mettaton witnessed the heinous crime lulled him to sleep.

  He snuggled into the blankets. For once, he was fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So who would have guessed that making my chapters twice as long would mean it took twice as much time to write them?!?! Not me


	9. The Thick Plottens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red is smooth and Sans is a filthy kinkshamer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn boi. It's been a friggin month since I updated, due to an unfortunate combination of having a difficult exam, becoming a bit disheartened by my writing and also being a bit lost with how to tell this story (I have all the major plot points decided, including the end of the fic, but I have trouble connecting those plot points into a single, coherent plot).  
> On the upside, I passed my year and am now a third year student of medicine. I'll finally talk to real patients ayoooo
> 
> Thank you all so much for being patient, and for all the support ;.; I reread all the lovely comments y'all wrote when I feel down and then I screech into my pillow. I hope you keep liking my stuff!
> 
> Also, possible TRIGGER WARNINGS this chapter: PTSD, past trauma, depression, abusing dat Graphic Violence tag and loving it, mentions of alcohol drinking
> 
> Come hang out at <http://captain-shitpost.tumblr.com/>

  Red wasn't sure where Papyrus got the idea to add chili to hot chocolate, but it was pure genius. The light burning sensation in his mouth went amazingly well with the rich, sweet creaminess of the molten chocolate and cream, and he could taste a few other spices he had never tasted before. Being on the surface sure was expanding his gastronomic horizons.

  He let the cup warm his hands, enjoying the warm evening sun as he waited for his counterpart to respond. Sans only came back home a little over an hour ago, and was currently busy staring somewhere above the kitchen counter tops absently, in a way Red knew meant he was thinking. He was leaning back on his chair, only two legs still touching the ground. If Papyrus was still here instead of running off to work right after he made them dinner, he'd be throwing a fit.

  Finally, with a 'clank' of the chair legs hitting the floor, Sans leaned forward and smiled. „i leave you alone for one day and you get creepy warnings from a human mage and a lead on the murders. you're a real trouble magnet, pal, though i guess it helps“ he chuckled.

  „what do you think? was there something to the crap she said?“ Red asked before downing the rest of his chocolate.

  Sans huffed quietly, scratching his nasal bone. „it's weird, i'll tell you that. we figured that humans were involved in the kidnappings. heck, we even suspected that mages might be involved. this just confirms it.“

  Red raised his brow bones. „so you all know about mages? i mean, it's public knowledge?“

  „apparently humans always knew about them, but thought their magic was just smoke and mirrors.  the mages seemed pretty happy to keep it that way though. it wasn't until monsters came to the surface that they accepted that magic and souls and even monsters might be real,“ he explained. „and actually, alphys ran some experiments on a couple of mages 'bout a year back, so we even have some data on that. it was some pretty crazy stuff, i'm telling you.“

  Red whistled. „i'm surprised they let you.“

  „it actually involved some human mages that were pretty sick. they had some issues with their soul. and apparently doing human magic was putting stress on it, and since most humans have never seen a soul they couldn't help them. so we ran some tests, found out a lot about how human souls and human magic worked and helped them. we got another mage volunteer a couple months later and he agreed to let us run tests on his magic, so we got data on more than one mage. it was pretty damn lucky.“

  „were you part of the experiments?“ Red asked suspiciously. He got the shivers every time he thought of stepping foot into a lab. He wondered if his counterpart felt the same.

  Sans shifted uncomfortably. „i kinda left all that science stuff behind. alphys kept me updated on her findings, but i was never really a part of it. i'm happy with my jobs, and she can handle all that stuff. she understands souls better than i do, honestly.“

  Red nodded. Maybe Sans wasn't a moving mass of trauma, but anybody would be apprehensive of going into a lab after the kind of shit they've been through. He wondered idly when Sans remembered Gaster. The way he was acting, he must have remembered him long ago. He was curious what triggered his memory.

  Sans' voice snapped him out of his musings. „but it still doesn't add up. the traces we found near the dust piles were left by energy beams, and that's a kind of _magic._ And the thing about mages is? _they can't use magic_. not the way monsters do.“

  Red's eye sockets widened. „mages change the world around them. i remember,“ he gulped, pain at the memory dully spreading in his ribcage. „you wouldn't be able to pick their weird-ass powers up with magic sensors.“

  „exactly. if you make specialized equipment, maybe. it's how the timeline-trackers worked. but that magic we picked up was recorded by your run-of-the-mill monster magic sensors,“ Sans said. „which leaves us with two options: either the human you met was lying, or they have a monster doing their killing for them.“

  Red took a minute to remember the conversation yesterday. „she didn't seem to be making up her story, but she was holding some stuff back. although, if she's an underling, might be she doesn't even have the full picture anyways.“ he mumbled, frowning. „and she _is_ being coerced into being an accomplice to the attacks. i'm not sure she would be able to hide helping us, not with a soul bond. might explain why she's being so dodgy.“

  Sans glared through he window. „who does something like that, anyways? i mean, i can let a lot of things slide, but there are some things that are just   _wrong._ she's practically a slave.“

  „people are assholes, man. nothing new,“ Red said, shrugging. „so what's the plan?“

  Sans leaned back again. Red was starting to get nervous over how far back he was tipping his chair. „i'll head over to grillby's to warn him. better that he has a heads-up. and i'll try to stick around his place more, just in case something goes down and he's alone. he can handle pretty much anything, but it's better that he has back up anyways,“ he concluded.

  „what do you mean 'you'll' head over to his place? what am i supposed to do?“ Red frowned.

  Sans gave him a surprised look. „rest? eat some more until you raise your magic back up? literally anything except walk into a dangerous situation when you're pregnant and your magic is about as stable as a baby gyftrot on ice?“ he said incredulously. Red's eye socket twitched.

  „listen, i'm getting a little sick of being coddled all the time. for fuck's sake, i have 9 lv, i can take care of myself. i'm not gonna melt,“ he spit out, his irritation getting the better of him. He liked lazing around as much as the next guy, but he just wasn't used to getting all this kindness, all this food and shelter and warmth handed to him. He should be clawing his way to survival, fighting tooth and claw for food, too scared to be relaxed and-and _happy_ around people. It just wasn't right. It wasn't how it was supposed to _be._

Especially when it came to Grillby. The elemental was kind to him before anyone else. And now he couldn't even try and protect him?!

 _You get attached too easily, Sans,_ he heard Gaster's voice say, echoing from a long-gone memory. _It is a weakness and you can count on it being exploited. But it can give you purpose, and strength. Though I suppose I should be the last person to scold you for it._

  Sans leaned back forward with a frown. „red, 9 lv doesn't mean anything when you can't summon an attack without passing out.“

  „for fuck's sake!“ Red yelled. It wasn't often he raised his voice like that, but he had way too many conflicting feelings to even attempt to play it cool. „he helped me, sans! he fed me when i was starving and he's been really nice to me! i can't just stand back and let him get attacked, not when i can do something about it!“

  The only sound in the room was the light panting Red was trying to get control over. Sans seemed surprised. And just a bit hurt, for some reason. „heh. you're a real go-getter, pal. someone needs help, and you just...get off your butt and fight for them,“ he said perfectly evenly, like he didn't even feel bothered even though his eye-lights were flickering. Red admired the control he had over his voice. „i'd never find the energy for it.“

  Red gave him a searching look while he pieced the sentence into a theory. Sans didn't look hurt. He looked betrayed. „what, you thought i'd roll over and let him die? someone that definitely didn't deserve it?“ he asked softly.

  Sans' eye-lights sputtered out as he leaned on his hands, his elbows propped up on the table. „i did,“ he whispered.

  Red felt numb. He knew there was only one person he would ever get that broken up about. And Papyrus was still alive and kicking, so the only explanation was that it happened in a reset. Had Sans just...stood by? Let someone kill his baby brother? Kill the only reason he got up in the morning? The only person he truly loved and cared about?

  He felt a burning rage explode in his soul, his eye-light blazing. This spoiled _fucker_ , did he ever even have to fight tooth and claw to protect who he loved? Did he ever risk his life to save his brother? It was Papyrus, the most amazing Monster alive, the reason he kept trying, and he just let him die?!

  He felt a kick in his belly, jolting him out of his anger. His kid was sending out waves of distressed magic, reacting to his agitation. Red forced himself to breathe calmly, focusing on sending calming magic to the infant. Soon enough the kiddo calmed down, the fuzzily warm magic emanating from them a sign they were falling back asleep.

  Red took a final deep breath, letting it out in a drawn-out sigh. Then he trained his eye-lights onto Sans'. „you let your brother die.“

  Sans flinched as if he had been slapped. „heh. i'm a really shitty brother, you know?“ he said, a horribly bitter chuckle reverberating through the room.

  Red poked around his soul, chasing his feeling of rage. It was gone, drained completely like someone poked a hole in it. He never was very good at staying mad.  „why didn't you do anything?“

  Sans shuddered, his eye-lights still missing. „i just couldn't handle it, alright? whatever i do, whether I save papyrus or fail to save papyrus, do something, do nothing, it all just resets. it's not like anything i do actually matters. it's not like i can do anything and for it to matter later on,“ he said quietly, a defeated smile plastered on his face. It looked more like a grimace.“ and a couple hours later, everything resets, papyrus is yelling at me to wake up, everyone's alive, and it's all good again. so why bother?“

  Red snapped his mouth open to reply, but paused. He wanted to tell this guy that was bullshit, that he had to fight for his bro, but...it was pointless, wasn't it? What would he do if Boss got killed, again and again, an he couldn't do anything about it?

  He felt nauseous. He'd do the same. He'd actually let someone kill his bro because he gave up.

  He felt like a failure.

  He sat back down slowly. He could feel his hands shaking, so he stuck them in his pockets. „your bro really died? who killed him?“

  Sans stared darkly into the table. „the anomaly did.“

  Red whipped his head up so hard he heard a crack in his neck. „the human? frisk?! they-they killed papyrus?“

  Sans looked up, eye-lights slowly reappearing but face stuck in the kind of tired expression that reflected the exhaustion not of the body, but of the soul. „they killed everyone.“

  Red felt his breathing grow fast. He remembered the kid from his world. All scared shakes and small smiles. They made a flower crown once and tried to stick it on Red's head, but it was too small so Red put it on their wrist as a bracelet. That child, killing everybody...it was terrifying. But so very, very possible. And he'd never know. The kid could slaughter everyone and reset, and he'd never know. They were so kind and gentle, but who's to say they always were?

  Red took a shuddering breath. „how do you know they did?“

  „i got déjà vu sometimes. like when papyrus popped off his skull horsing around with undyne and getting a flash of someone ripping it off with their bare hands,“ he smiled, relaxed and slightly insane. „secondly, i woke up some nights from a dream of being covered in dust and thought 'oh yeah, just a bad dream, no biggie', only to go to the basement and find out a reset happened. thirdly, i had a journal in the basement. no idea what the doc did to it, but stuff that changed throughout different timelines stayed changed, as long as they were in that room. i would read it and couldn't remember writing any of the shit there, but there it was, my handwriting telling me papyrus died 4 resets in a row, and a bunch of pictures of flowers. most importantly though, the kid told me. said they gave everyone a perfect ending once, got us to the surface, then reset.“

  Sans was spinning his own mug anxiously. Red recognized that look of need for anything to distract himself, but he wasn't sure the brothers even had  hard liquor in the house. Sans chuckled. „they killed everyone. not everyone they encountered,“ he said, still laughing, „they looked everywhere, hunted down every single monster they could and killed them. and when papyrus spared them right off the bat, saying he believed in them, they killed him too.“

  Red was horrified. A human wiped out the entire Underground. With their power to load and reset, they could do it. He felt guilty over the overwhelming sense of relief he felt at the fact that he never got a flashback of any sort of homicidal act by the human. That proved his human wasn't like that...right?

  „...why did they reset? if they were so determined to kill?“ Red asked. He knew Gaster's stories of the war. He knew what happened when a human decided to do whatever it takes to reach their goal.

  Sans looked down and away. „they said they fought me. that i killed them dozens of times. and then, suddenly, i offered them mercy.“

  Red nodded in grim understanding. „and you back stabbed them.“

  Sans smiled. „apparently i told them that if they were really my friend, they wouldn't come back. they actually reset after that and gave us a happy ending,“ he explained. „i think the guilt finally caught up to them. they promised they wouldn't reset again, and i believe them.“

  Red leaned back with a  frown. „why? they killed everyone. why would you believe them?“ he asked incredulously. He just couldn't understand it. Sure, he couldn't stay mad at anyone, but he wouldn't trust them to take care of his pet rock after that.

  Sans shrugged. „you know, papyrus always said everyone can be a better person if they try. i guess i just got tired of hating them, figured i could give them a second chance. they're incredibly easy to like, you know,“ he said with a tired wink. „loves puns, flirts with everyone. can't leave anyone alone if they're sad. papyrus adores them too.“ he finished with an exhausted, but almost genuine smile.

  Red leaned on his arm. „can't believe you can forgive something like that. i'd feel too betrayed.“

  „guess we're pretty different, huh?“ Sans chuckled. Red smiled a bit, quick but genuine. It was so strange having someone to talk to about the resets. But it was nice.

  Sans sighed loudly after a few minutes. „listen, you're an adult, and i can't make you do anything. but i don't think it's a good idea for you to get involved in this, especially if your magic reserves are halved. you're kind of reckless, don't even bother denying it buddy,“ he said, interrupting Red's retort, „and getting seriously hurt doesn't affect just you now. the kid's gonna dust too if you fall down.“

  Red winced a little at the mental image. He really didn't want to think about that. He set his face into a stubborn expression anyways. „i know it's not the best idea. but i can't stand just waiting at home, nothing to do, and wait for the news that someone died. i want to help you catch these bastards. you want to protect someone, you gotta fight. let that be my lesson to you, numb-skull,“ he chuckled darkly.

  Sans grimaced for a few seconds before sighing with a resigned smile. „heh. you're real hard-headed, buddy. fine, you decide what you do. but if it comes down to a fight, get out, got it? i can't exactly take a hit for you.“

  Red hesitantly smiled. „heh. been a while since I had someone worry about me.“

  Sans smiled warmly. „feels good when it happens, right?“ he said, getting up. Then, slowly, he reached out his hand. This time, Red didn't hesitate to take it, giving it a slight squeeze in support. He felt Sans still, then squeeze back, right before the static spread down his arm.

 

  The greetings that rang through the bar were quieter today, since the bar was near closing. Sans threw out a quick joke or three into the crowd, one being bad enough that Red snorted loudly. Grillby pointedly ignored the low-quality humour. Red wondered if a truly horrible joke would manage to startle a chuckle from him.

  They sat in the bar stools Red realized would become their usual seats and leaned forward, Sans leaning on one arm and Red resting his chin on his folded arms on the counter.

  „hey grillbz,“ said Sans.

  „hey, hot stuff,“ said Red.

  Grillby nodded to them and gave them their condiments of choice without a question. Sans took a large gulp before sighing in satisfaction. „hate to be a downer, buddy, but we're here for work. we gotta talk to you. in private,“ Sans said quietly. Only the three of them could hear it, since all the other bar stools were unoccupied.

  Grillby's flames died down slightly in a show of concern. However, he slowly nodded his head.

  „great. you closing soon?“ Sans asked.

  „...In half an hour,“ Grillby replied quietly, hard to hear through the crackle-snaps of his flames. Red grinned.

  „well, since we're waiting, howzabout we get some food, hot shot? didn't have my after-dinner snack yet,“ Red said with a wink and a smile. It always paid to charm the guy giving you food, not that he wouldn't charm him anyways. Grillby cracked a jagged jack-o-lantern smile, hard to notice because of his flames, but it was there. It stayed on his face as he turned on his heel and entered the kitchen. Red let his gaze follow him, and didn't even notice it went downwards until, suddenly, he had an eyeful of the most perfect ass he had seen in the last 10 years of his life right before the monster disappeared into the kitchen. Shit, the Grillby from his world always wore a long coat that covered his assets. He couldn't believe an ass worthy of poetry had been hiding in plain sight the whole time.

  It took him a moment to snap out of his reverie and notice Sans leaning forwards, staring at his face incredulously. „dude. really?“

  Red felt his face flush. „what? he's hot,“ he muttered, somewhere between angry and embarrassed.

  „well he is, in more than one sense of the word. but i didn't know you held a _torch_ for him.“

  Red felt the burning sensation in his face intensify and slowly spread to his clavicles. „i don't hold a fuckin' torch for him. i don't _like_ him. he's just, you know, nice. and cooks well. and he's smoking hot,“ he said. Yeah, he wasn't convincing anyone. „i'm just messing around a bit, fuck off.“

  Sans' eye sockets widened with glee, the way Red's did when he found a new way to piss someone off. „dude. holy cow. you actually like him,“ he sniggered. „tell him 'if you were a booger, i'd pick you'. there's no way that won't work, trust me. no, wait. go into a store and buy some gloves. then when he asks you why you're wearing them, tell him it's because he's too hot to handle. you'll get a date, guaranteed.“

  „oh, you're giving _me_ shit, you virgin?“ Red hissed, his blush heating him up so much he wanted to take his jacket off, baby bump or no. „you call me red, but maybe i should call you red, since you're still a fucking cherry.“

  Sans's face suddenly turned a rather startling blue. „i-i'm not a virgin,“ he blubbered. Red's grin turned smug. Gotcha.  

  „oh sorry, captain bone zone. you had sex once-no, wait, twice,“ he corrected himself, catching the twitch of Sans' eye socket, „you are so fucking experienced. best source of advice about romance, hands down. got any tips on how to bone, too?“ he snarked. Sans sputtered, trying to find the words to retort. Red felt secretly proud for being perhaps the first person to throw Sans off-guard in a conversation. God, was the guy sweating? His counterpart looked so uncomfortable it was a delight.

  Grillby chose that moment to reappear and put a plate of fries in front of both skeletons. His gaze lingered on Sans' bright blue face and annoyed glare. Red leaned on his hand, basking in the gentle satisfaction that came from successfully pissing someone off. „so, how's business today, handsome?“ he said, letting his voice hit a slightly lower, huskier note. It wasn't very subtle, but since Grillby wasn't responding to his flirting, he might as well dial it up for shits and giggles.

  The other monster seemed startled for a moment, leaning back a bit in surprise. Red's grin fell. Grillby didn't react much to his somewhat flirty speech before, but now he seemed a bit...wary? A moment passed before he looked down and grabbed a glass, the tiniest flicker of a bluish flame on his face.

„...Business is as usual,“ he said, voice steady, at odds with the slight tension in his frame. What was that all about? „I'm done for the day. Let me take the trash out and then we can talk.“

„sure thing, buddy,“ Red said, hiding his confusion as the fire monster exited with a large bag of trash. Well the atmosphere sure took a nosedive to awkward for some reason. He didn't even have to look at Sans to know he was smirking smugly at him.

Red stared straight ahead trying to ignore him. He failed. „smooth,“ Sans said sniggering.

Red glared at a green bottle while chasing a bite of food with an angry swig of mustard. „you're a fucking asshole and i hope you choke on your fries.“

  „what, that was your best shot? that was _small potatoes_ compared to your usual insults.“

  Red barked out a laugh. He was pissed at his counterpart-it seems pissing each other off was becoming an ongoing thing-but he refused to let a pun go unacknowledged. He stuffed his face with more fried potato bits, enjoying the quiet now that the other patrons have gotten up and left. After a while, he scowled. „shouldn't grillby be back by now?“ he asked. Sans looked at him with confusion, right until his sockets widened in horror, exactly at the same moment Red felt his own non-existent stomach drop to the floor.

  With a flurry of static Sans disappeared from his stool and Red swore as he dropped down from his seat, an empty mustard bottle clattering to the floor as he ran to the fire exit, through the shiny kitchen and right up to the door he figured led to the dumpsters in the back. He slowed down, listening, and uttered a few choice words under his breath as he heard the angry voices of strangers. He creeped closer to the door, opening it a crack to see the situation.

  The first thing he saw was a substance that shimmered in Grillby's light, enveloping the monster as he leaned against the wall. He felt his eye-light go out as he realized what it was.

  Water. Grillby was surrounded by water that was somehow solidified and floating, encircling him and a tall, muscular human wearing a  leather jacket in front of him. There was enough of the stuff to fill a bathtub, and more than enough to very seriously hurt the flame monster.

_Deep breath. Assess. Then act._

  There were two other humans behind the tall man, one another man but much shorter and with an array of blasters keeping him pinned to the wall, and a young woman with red hair, blowing bubblegum and kicking her legs languidly, sitting on the dumpster, a similar bunch of magic constructs around her. Beyond them, further into the alley, was Sans, casual smile and slouch turned friggin terrifying with the cold blue-and-yellow blaze of his eye-light. The tall man, who seemed to be the one controlling the water judging by the way it moved when he did, had two spikes of liquid nearly touching Grillby's neck, the water evaporating off them with a quiet 'hiss'. He looked at Grillby's face and cringed as he saw an expression of utter terror. They were all looking at each other: Sans at the tall human, the humans at Sans, and Grillby trying-and failing-to look away from the water.

  They were in the middle of an impasse, it seemed, with the man having a hold on Grillby, and Sans having a hold on the other two humans. Most importantly, none of the humans were looking in his direction.

  He shifted a little for his eye-light to come in view through the crack in the door. Thankfully, the motion and light was enough for Sans' eye-light to dart to him and away, enough time for Red to know Sans saw him but for the humans not to notice. His grin stretched slowly.

  „come on. i got someone you want, you got someone i want. how about we trade and forget this ever happened, pal? we both go home, grab a cup of hot chocolate. you know you want to,“ he said calmly, eye never moving from the tall human. The human scoffed.

  „Like shit we are. Keep them, it's their fault for fucking up,“ he snapped. Unfortunately, the water he seemed to be controlling made a barrier between him and Sans, as well as protecting him against Red unknowingly. If Sans had more firepower he could blast through, but his attack was most likely pathetic if not done in serious bulk. Not exactly something he could afford while keeping the other two humans on lock-down.

He had to get the guy away from Grillby. It was the only way they'd all be able to walk away from this. He very slowly pushed the door open further. Sans thankfully got the hint, and kept talking.

  „that's not a very nice attitude to have. did your friends here not know how cold you were until now?“

  „Sweet fuck, do you talk a lot. Piss off and let me off this dude. You can take the clown over there with you before he wets himself, and fuck knows she's insane anyways,“ he snarled, Red using the noise to cover the sound of the door hinge squeaking. The other male had started crying from where he was stuck to the wall, quiet whimpers of „please, don't“ crawling through the quiet alleyway. Red wasn't about to heed his pleading. Never attack someone and then ask for mercy. Stars, kids knew better than that.

  He moved like a shadow, using the conversation to hide the slightest shuffles of his feet on the concrete that he couldn't avoid. He managed to walk right behind the human, building his magic up for release. Grillby shifted his head, trying to get away from the water spikes, but caught Red's eye instead. Red couldn't resist giving him a wink.

  He let his magic grow cold, heavy yet not condensing, and threw it out. The human's soul, orange in colour, shot out of his chest and turned a dark blue with a 'ding', immediately followed by Red slamming the human into the wall, grin spreading at the sound of ribs breaking. The human huffed out a breath from the force, but in a few moments he was biting off a gurgling scream as the pain caught up to him. The water dropped with a splash, Grillby jumping sideways and behind Red to avoid the liquid, his pants still getting splashed, the liquid hissing at the contact.

  He saw the water vibrate, as if trying to reform as soon as the human quit screaming. What a lively guy. If he had enough energy to keep fighting, he could handle a bit more abuse, right?

  The screaming picked right back up as Red increased the pressure of his magic. He felt the strain of maintaining the attack, but he kept his grin steady. No way was he letting the humans know the effort he was putting in. He walked a little closer, stretching his grin in the way that showed off his fangs the most. „having fun _hanging around_ , buddy? i sure hope so.“

  The human's eyes were wide open, pupils blown from his panic. He was visibly straining from the effort of drawing breath against what must have felt like many times the Earth's gravity pinning him to the wall. He only managed to move his arm across the wall to his throat, clawing at it and opening his mouth like a gaping fish. Seems he completely gave up his attack in the face of overwhelming fear. Amateur.

  Sans shuffled behind him, still keeping the other two humans immobile with his blasters. He placed a hand on Red's shoulder, gently but firmly. „red. let him go.“

  Red barked out a laugh. „no thanks. i'm good.“

  He felt the pressure increase, feeling the slightest creak of his humerus scraping his scapula. „red. you kill him and we're in trouble. the police are gonna take their side.“

  Red whipped his head around and snarled. „do I look like i give a shit?! they tried to fucking kill Grillby, you boneheaded clusterfuck! you think i'm letting him just walk away after that?!“

  „red,“ Sans said, his voice bordering on a growl, „i won't let you possibly screw over all the effort Frisk and Asgore put into human-monster relations just because you're mad. i'm pissed too, alright? but it helps nothing. you scared them good, now let him go.“

  He wanted to snap. He wanted to kill the motherfuckers who dare attack someone who was actually good in this world. He wanted to scream on the outside for once, kill everyone that threatened him or his, to just lose control. He was so fucking sick of doing the smart thing.

His right eye socket felt like there was something stuck in it. No, he didn't want that. He lost control once in his life. It was more than enough.

  He released his hold suddenly, the human gasping as he hit the floor, sounds of wheezing and wet coughs filling the air. He was holding his chest and coughing, gasping for breath in between hacking up blood. Seems a rib punctured his lung. The human looked up at him, suddenly, as a sharp scent filled the air and a puddle formed under him. He was trembling, sweating and crying, but he couldn't sob out from his coughing fit. He looked at Red like it was the first time he realized in his life that, yes, he can actually die, his mortality wasn't just an abstraction and a far-off thing, and yes, this is the moment it happens.

  His baby bro had that look once.

  Sans tugged him back, stepping up to the human and squatting to his eye-level. He knew the other skeleton's eye-lights have gone out by now. „listen here, chum. i'm hoping you guys just came to grillby's to eat a burger and roughhouse a bit and then you got mad and it got out of hand. because if you came over here just to try and murder my friend, well. buddy... **THEN I'LL JUST HAVE TO STOP BEING SO FRIENDLY.** “

  He straightened up and took a step back. „So you won't make the same mistake again, right? now how about your two friends over here get you and you all go home?“ he said, looking at the two humans who had been sitting perfectly still the last few minutes. The female human still looked like she absolutely didn't give a shit, and the other male was also sporting a puddle by his feet. Is that what pissing your pants was like? Humans were fucking weird. They weren't even roughed up that bad.

  The two humans bent down to their comrade, who cried out as they jostled his mangled ribs. Sans kept a nice line of blasters surrounding them as they dragged themselves away.

  „hey, before you go?“ Sans interrupted their shuffle, making the male human flinch. „you're no longer welcome here, or anywhere near monsters. and i'll be sure to remember that. see ya.“

  The female turned to face Sans, casually flipped him the bird and then the trio walked away, like the world's bloodiest three-legged race, except there were six legs involved. Their footsteps faded into the darkness, leaving only the distant sound of cars, an agitated crackling much louder than he realized during the fray, and a cringe-worthy scraping sound. Red snapped to attention as he realized the sound was his finger scraping at his empty eye socket. He stuffed his hand quickly into his pocket with a curse. He had to stop doing that, even he realized how creepy it was to maul your face without even realizing.

  He heard the shuffle of fabric behind him and turned to see Grillby squatting, angrily ripping his glasses off his face with a shaking hand to rub at where his eyes would be if they were open. He took deep shuddery breaths, his crackling increasing with every inhale.

  Shit, he shouldn't be getting lost in thought. Grillby was much more upset than he was. He turned to go to his side but swayed lightly, holding himself straight with a hand on the wall. That blue attack took a lot out of him, if his jellified legs were anything to go by, but he didn't feel like he was passing out. He shook his legs out a bit to get them under control as he walked slowly to the hunched monster, Sans already sitting next to him and murmuring soothing words of little meaning. Grillby seemed to be using all his faculties to get his breathing under control, and Red felt stumped. He'd never exactly been good at comforting people.

  He sat on Grillby's other side with a grunt, trying to mask exactly how difficult it was getting to maneuver with his baby bump. He raised a hand gently to Grillby's shoulder.

  „grillbz? just breathe, alright? no ru-“ he said, flinching as his hand was slapped away from where it was touching the other monster's vest. Grillby immediately flinched, face going from a combination of fear and anger to guilt, breathing picking up again. He raised his hands in apology.

  „I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-“

  „grillby. i know, and i shouldn't have touched you, and sorry. now stop worrying about stupid shit and breathe,“ Red interrupted, a slight snap of finality to his voice. He knew people tended to shut up and listen automatically when he sounded a bit more commanding. Well, _certain_ kinds of people did. Seemed like Grillby was one of them, as his breathing evened out and the shifting and shuddering of his flames slowly went back to normal. He put his head in his hands and took a deep breath and shakily let it out.

  „...I really fucking hate water,“ he whispered softly. Sans gave Red a dumbfounded look, as if this was the first time he heard Grillby swear. Maybe it was.

  Red raised his hand much slower and more obviously this time, looking for any indication of discomfort. When he saw none, he placed it gently on Grillby's back and rubbed slow circles there, the pleasant warmth making him want to lean in a bit-but he dashed that thought to the ground. Not now.

  Grillby let out a frutrated crack-hiss, eyes squinted in anger. The built-up tension seemed to have left his body, making him slump backwards and hit his head on the brick wall. „...I froze up.“

  „just got attacked, and already punning. good on you, grillbz,“ Sans said, smile turned a bit into a grimace as he realized mid-sentence that he probably should have kept his mouth shut. Red snorted very quietly, and was relieved when Grillby did too.

  „...Accidental puns notwithstanding, it's not the first time someone tried to throw water at me. Every time the humans knew I was coming during the war they'd bring buckets of water. Sometimes they even succeeded in hitting me. It must have looked ridiculous, entire human camps scrambling for buckets,“ he said with a quiet, strained chuckle, his fingers digging into his forearm. He hung his head low. „...I knew how to work through the fear then. It never bothered me before. I never just...panicked like that, before.“

  „are you seriously giving yourself a hard time for panicking at something that can kill you being right on your face? dude. cut yourself some slack,“ Red drawled, subtly catching Sans' insecure expression. Seems he was a bit out of his depth as far as conversations about living through constant attempts on your life went. Red sighed.

  „it was a war. you don't deal with the fear and anger and all that shit in the middle of it-you just push it back for later. you compartmentalize. and then when later comes you fall apart, get flashbacks and all that shit. and sometimes you develop this _really_ unusual fear of things that can kill you, for some reason. it's not weird that it's only now catching up to you. and you shouldn't feel bad 'bout it either, even if it's easier said than done.“

  Grillby seemed to mull this over a moment, then another. Red was seriously contemplating lying down to ease the pressure on his stomach (the kid woke up and was probably bruising up his lumbar vertebrae with their kicking) when the fire monster shook his head and stood up, Sans following. Red tried to as well, but it was slow going.

  „...I need a drink,“ Grillby concluded and stretched out a hand for Red. It was actually embarrassing that he needed help getting up, but his legs still felt like jelly. He grabbed it and felt himself pulled to his feet, grinning up at the elemental. Grillby opened the door, holding it open for the two skeletons to enter. They took a seat at a booth this time, Grillby ducking behind the bar to pull out a bottle of orange juice and then looking for a certain bottle on the wall behind him. Sans caught Red's eye, slowly flicking his eye-lights to the elemental, then deliberately back to him, wiggling his brow bones. His grin was infuriating. Red flipped him off and mouthed 'cherry-boy' at him. Sans seemed amused, if embarrassed.

  Grillby put the juice in front of Red and poured himself and Sans a liberal glass of whiskey. Red was practically sallivating at the sight of the amber liquid. It was the good shit, not the cheapest swill that insulted proper whisky by sharing its name that he was used to knocking back. Stars, he loved his kid, but they were a pain in the ass sometimes.

  Grillby knocked the entire glass back, the flames of his head turning blue and shooting to almost lick the ceiling before dying down to orange again. Red chuckled at the neat party trick.

  „...What did you two even want to talk to me about before? It seemed serious,“ Grillby said with a frown, reaching for the bottle again.

  „well, we were going to warn you that some humans might be planning to attack you, and to be careful, not go anywhere alone and all that. you know, really useful advice,“ Sans said, sipping at his own drink.

  Grillby looked at Sans, face completely straight yet somehow snarky and done with their shit. Red friggin loved that face. „...Well thank the stars you warned me. I have no idea what I would have done if you didn't,“ he said, and threw back the second glass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: Grillby enjoys Jazz and Swing music. He'd love to learn how to swing-dance but he doesn't have a partner. He loves the fashion of the period as well.
> 
> Also [WatteauYouDoing-senpai](http://archiveofourown.org/users/WatteauYouDoing/pseuds/WatteauYouDoing) got this idea to ask readers a question to get to know them better and I love it??? I love talking to you peeps, and I'm curious what you guys are like.
> 
> So to start off: who's your favourite Undertale character? Mine is Papyrus. He's basically all I want to be, and I really look up to him, and also want to hug him so bad
> 
> EDIT: People, I've been hit by the unfortunate combo of college and the mother of all writer's block. I need to either power through it and update (the quality will probably be lower though) or start a new fanfic. I was thinking of making a slice-of-life of the Underfell brother's growing up with Gaster. Just scenes of family cuteness, perhaps some worldbuilding. It might help.  
> But above all, thank you for your patience, understanding and support. *blows kisses*


	10. How to get a hot date: 1) Purchase a date, 2) Heat it up, 3) You now have a hot date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red is a ball of anxiety, we are getting somewhere plot-wise and also there is not enough Papyrus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God I can't believe I'm done with this chapter. I always need about 2-3 months to get into a routine for studying, so no time for anything except studying+writer's block have destroyed me. I'm so sick of this chapter and yet so proud I managed to spit it out, whatever the quality of it is. Also the chapters keep getting longer and longer for some reason??? We hit 40 000 words though ayooo
> 
> Shoutout to my beta who I moaned at every day about not being able to write, and another shoutout to my brain for getting it's shit together. And, of course, a HUGE shoutout to my readers, whose comments have always lifted my spirits and who I hope have been patient enough to still want to read this. So lets jam yo.
> 
> Come tell me your headcanons at my [tumblr](http://captain-shitpost.tumblr.com/)

The next 2 weeks were, thankfully, uneventful. Red and Sans walked Grillby home every evening, despite Red’s aching feet, because apparently Grillby made Sans promise never to take him on a shortcut again, and they kept walking him even after Grillby asked them to stop in embarrassment. Red didn't miss the way the fire monster’s shoulders were just a bit less tense when he had company though.

The walks, despite getting winded way too easily and feeling jumpy out in the open, were nice. He and Sans now bonded almost completely over trading catty remarks, annoying each other and having the occasional depressing conversation about their lives, and it kept all three of them entertained. Red talked to Grillby about the surface, the bar, human music and movies. Sans always seemed to stay pretty quiet when the two started talking and even walked behind them, giving them some privacy. Red would sometimes glance back at the other skeleton just to have him flash a thumbs up, his perpetual grin turned smug.

He'll get him for this. One day.

They established a routine, meaning he saw and talked to Grillby every day now and realized, to his dawning horror, that his attraction and slight infatuation have passed „slight crush“ territory and were now rapidly approaching „completely smitten“. He already knew Grillby was a sweetheart and hotter than balls in a pair of skinny jeans, but his very dry, sarcastic sense of humour was amazing, and it was incredibly satisfying making bad jokes just to watch his face contort in disgust and then mercilessly quip back. He found out that the fire monster liked children and was incredibly excited about the Dogi's new litter (it was the first time Red heard him say so many sentences at once. His excitement was so infectious Red couldn’t stop smiling) and he told him about some of his favourite movies, mostly old musicals and romantic flicks. Not exactly Red's thing, but he made a mental note to watch them.

He only fully realized how deep he was in when he cracked some shitty joke and Grillby laughed, rich and deep, the sound of energetic crackling calming him like a cup of hot chocolate, thrumming in his bones. Red couldn't quite meet his eyes for the rest of the night, and he couldn’t stop thinking of that laugh for days.

Grillby, for his part, seemed to enjoy talking to the skeletons. Red noticed that the bartender's flames shot up visibly whenever they entered the bar in the evening and he liked to think that it was because the man was happy to see him. He could never quite convince himself that was the truth though, so their nightly meetings always began with a subtle air of disappointment only he felt.

He tried flirting with Grillby a few more times, but the flame always acted a bit...odd when he did. Not quite like it sickened him, but he wasn't joking and rolling his eyes in response like he did before. Maybe he thought it was funny at first, but now he didn't know how to turn Red down. Which, fair enough, he couldn't begrudge him, he was hardly a prize at the moment. But he missed their playful chats, they were fun even if they weren't serious about their weird sorta-flirting. Well, he kind of wished they were serious, but he was being realistic and also the idea of Grillby actually being attracted to him gave him minor anxiety attacks.

It all lead to spending most of his time near Grillby not quite able to meet his eye, hoping the elemental wouldn't notice Red's gaze lingering on his face (or ass) in-between his jokes, and a good deal of the time apart from him wondering how the fire monster was doing, replaying his more successful jokes and conversation over and over in his head before he would stop himself, and feeling guilty when in the evenings, alone in his room, he came to the image of the man on his knees in front of him, his warm laugh echoing in his skull.

Hopefully Sans didn't figure that last bit out, but he had this nagging suspicion he somehow did anyways, if the vague kinkshaming was anything to go by.

As for the monster disappearances, they stopped for a little while, meaning monsters in general heaved a sigh of relief. Both of the skeletons were wary though, because it made absolutely no sense that the murders stopped since the human that attacked Grillby had some sort of water magic powers, not energy beams like whoever killed the other monsters, which meant they didn’t actually stop whoever was behind the previous attacks. He wished they got more info from the attackers, but watching the news every day he learned just how biased humans were against monsters. Last thing they needed was to be accused of killing some humans, regardless if they were mages or murderers. All he could do was grip his shorts too tight and try not to think of his new friends crumbling to dust.

 

He woke up covered in cold sweat and the echoes of the smell of rust stuck in his nasal aperture, his dream already fading into just a sensation of unease. After closing his eyes for a few minutes and breathing deeply to ground himself, he rolled to the edge of his bed and just barely kept himself from falling off, then picked up his novelty grand piano/mustard bottle alarm clock Papyrus got him and then denied buying. It was close to 9 in the morning, and he really didn't want to try falling asleep again after that. He groaned and tried to sit up, falling over twice before finally succeeding. The kid woke up from the movement, stretching and kicking him in the spine energetically. Red winced. Little brat wanted to get up, they made themselves loud and clear, heh.

The kid kicked him right up until he downed half a carton of milk and two waffles. Raging hunger out of the way, he turned on the coffee machine. Papyrus would be back from his morning run soon, and he liked to pour a splash of coffee into his milk as well as multiple tablespoons of sugar. Sans would have to make his own, since the coffee was usually cold by the time he got up around 10. He took out a fresh pack of waffles from the fridge for him though.

The couch was beckoning him, so he sat down and relaxed his achy legs once his coffee was done. Just the warm smell of the bitter brew and the rising sun warming his face keeping him company.

„morning.“

Red was truly thankful for his ability to play things cool, because he damn near screamed in a pitch his voice hasn’t hit since he began puberty. As it was, he turned to the other side of the couch slowly, rictus grin in full display.

„the fuck are you doing up,“ he asked politely. Sans already had a cup of coffee and 2 waffles in his hands. He hadn't even heard him in the kitchen. He really was getting soft if his counterpart could sneak around without tipping him off.

„got a busy day today. have to get up early if i want to do all my slacking off on time,“ he said, voice clear even with his mouth full of sugary breakfast food. „thanks for taking out the waffles. papyrus will appreciate it.“

Red felt his face warm up the slightest bit. Fuck's sake, he just said thank you, he needed to stop feeling pleased whenever someone praised him. He was finally living in a place that encouraged being nice to people. He should be enjoying it, regardless of how uncomfortable it felt.

Sans drained the last of his coffee and stuffed almost a whole waffle into his mouth before getting up, leaving the dirty dishes on the coffee table. He unplugged one of the 3 cellphones charging on the table, the shitty flip-phone he used after Alphys modified it. Unfortunately smart phone screens weren't very compatible with bony fingers, so she put most of the functions of a smart phone into a phone with actual buttons. Sans shortcutted out of the room and back in, stuffing a wallet into his pockets. „you ready to go, red?“ he asked, looking for his keys.

Red frowned. „go where?“

„i asked tori to take a look at you today. she's a real good healer, and grillbz said you should get your magic checked out by someone more qualified anyways,“ Sans explained, finally fishing his keys out of the fishbowl containing his pet rock. „she also knows a lot about pregnancy, used to help deliver babies back when she was queen. it'd be good to have her help out when the kid decides they're feeling too cramped and make an appearance.“

Red sighed, long and weary. „thanks for the advance warning about going to visit the ex-queen of all monsters, good thing I knew beforehand. and please, for the love of all that is good in the world, _don't remind me of the birth_ ,“ he said, voice pitching into a pitiful whine.

Sans snickered, grabbing hold of Red's arm. In the space of a blink they were standing in front of a large two-story house, windows framed by cutely carved shutters and a white and baby blue wooden porch taking up most of the front. It looked homey. „getting cold feet? whenever you talk about the kid you get this dopey grin on your face, so i figured you'd be excited,“ Sans said, letting his arm drop after the static faded.

„you face the idea of having to push a baby monster through your ecto-stomach in 2 months and tell me how enthusiastic you are,“ he snapped back, then felt a large surge of panic as soon as the words left his mouth, one of his eye lights going out while the other turned red in reaction. Oh stars. Just two more months and the kid would be here. He didn't even have a bib with a cliché dad joke on it.

Oh fuck him sideways. In two more months he'll be cracking _dad jokes_.

He inhaled deeply, exhaled slowly. Sans seemed to catch the hint and gave him a moment. He only knocked on the door twice after Red gave him a nod. He heard shuffling from the inside after a moment, a familiar voice coming from behind the door. „Who's there?“ it beamed, just the slightest tinge of mischief in the question.

Sans grinned. „lettuce.“

He heard excited giggling. „Lettuce who?“

„lettuce in, it's cold out!“

A loud, braying laugh startled him, the door swinging open to reveal a truly statuesque goat lady. Tall enough that his neck strained a bit from looking at her, soft-looking white fur wherever her long skirt and tank top weren't covering her.

He knew it was mostly his pregnancy messing with him, but the queen was _hot_.

She smiled widely, eyes trained on Red. „Greetings. You must be Red, correct?“ she asked, extending her large hand. Red gave it a nervous look before slowly shaking it, slightly dazed. „Sans told me much about you.“

„only good things, right?“ he replied, grinning. She giggled, rather cutely for a grown woman.

„Of course. Sans is quite the gentleman, he wouldn’t talk badly of someone behind their back. Why don't you two come to the living room and sit down? I made snail pie yesterday, it is quite delicious even after a day.“

„aw man, tori. where would i be without you feeding me?“ Sans snickered, throwing himself onto the couch, knocking the dainty doily on it askew.

„Why, I don't want to even imagine it. You are already just skin and bones!“ she said, guffawing. Both Red and Sans grinned wider. Cheesy and old, but a classic. „Please wait a moment while I reheat the pie. It is delicious when cold too, but my child has informed me it is better warm.“

Red wondered for a moment who she was talking about. As far as he knew the Queen had no living children in his universe. Did something happen differently-

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of the front door opening and shutting, followed by a scuffle and the sound of slippers on carpet, quiet like whoever they belonged to didn't want to be heard. He leaned forwards to look the door, and froze.

“I’m home,” greeted a child he drank himself silly worrying about more than once. No, not exactly them. The kid standing in the doorway, looking curiously at him had the same squinty eyes and mousey brown hair, but they were taller, probably taller than him if he stood up, and their face was a bit leaner than he remembered, losing their baby fat. They were slowly starting to look like an adult.

Sans grinned. „heya, kiddo. what's up?“

„We won dodgeball again,“ they said, shrugging off their jacket to reveal a solid purple shirt. They weren’t wearing stripes anymore.

„good job, kiddo. guess all the time you play with undyne and papyrus really got the ball running for you, huh? you’re great at dodging.“

„Frisk? Is that you, child? Welcome home,“ Toriel hollered from the kitchen. She came into the room carrying a glass of milk and placed it in front of the kid. „Please wait a moment, so I can reheat your pie as well. You must be starving! Did your game go well?“

Frisk frowned slightly, eyebrows furrowing in a rather cute manner. „MK fell down and hurt their face. I brought them back home.”

Toriel smiled fondly. „Well, it is a shame you had to leave, but I am proud of you for helping your friend,“ she said, petting their head. Frisk smiled minutely, slight blush on their cheeks. „Now how about I get you some food?“

„Don't let me stop you, it's rare that I get to see beauty in motion,“ Frisk said stoically, eyebrow wiggles and finger guns included. Toriel made a snorting sound that sounded somewhat like choking.

„Well, you truly have a…unique way of complementing people, Frisk,“ she said, fighting desperately to stay serious as she walked into  the kitchen. They still heard the braying laugh a few moments later from the kitchen.

„kid, you could give flirting lessons to most of your school. try charging,“ Sans said, waiting for the kid to focus on Red before he swiped their milk.

„I do. They keep paying me with their phone numbers.“

„…damn,“ Red muttered. Guess a twelve-year-old had more game than he did. Frisk looked directly at Red, then to the kitchen, then back to Sans, eyebrows raised in question.

„this is red. he's staying with me and papyrus for a while. don't give him a hard time, alright?“ Sans said casually, sipping the glass of milk. Frisk frowned at the action.

„…Is he you? He looks like you. And I've never seen him before,“ Frisk said

Sans and Red shared a look. Well, guess that ship has sailed. Red forgot how sharp the human could be. Sans looked at the kitchen.

„hey, tori? frisk said they needed help with their science homework, so we'll leave you to it,“ Sans said, not quite yelling (he didn't take Sans as someone who EVER yelled) but loud enough to be heard in the kitchen. Frisk furrowed their eyebrows at him as Toriel exited.

„Oh, of course! I am thankful you are helping them, Sans. They always speak highly of your ‘mad science skills’. Be good, won't you, Frisk?“ Toriel said, handing both the skeleton and the human their slice of pie. Frisk took it and, with a curious glance at Sans, left the room, Sans following close behind. Red started getting up on instinct, but stopped himself. What exactly was he planning to do? Talk to the kid that looked exactly like an older version of the child he helped survive? Protect Sans from a human that, once upon a time, killed everyone they could find in the Underground? He felt so nervous, knowing they were alone.

Deep breaths. Sans could protect himself. He didn’t need a guard dog to be his shadow. His feelings didn’t matter. He turned to Toriel, grin perfectly in place. She smiled.

“Shall we get started, then?”

 

The examination went well enough. Toriel was happy with the rate the baby was growing at and physically Red was in good enough shape. She had a few choice words to say about his overuse of magic, and scolded him until he promised to eat healthy, get exercise and plenty of rest, so nothing he wasn’t doing already (apart from the exercise, but he couldn’t be perfect). He also had to promise to come for another exam in a month, as well as to call in case anything happened in the meantime.

He felt a bit proud of himself, for a very short while. He was very patient with Toriel’s chatter, prodding questions and touches, and he didn’t flinch once. He even dared to say he was having fun, joking with the former queen, who had a rather unexpected arsenal of dirty jokes, right up until she  told him she was done with his examining his body and asked to see his soul.

“no.”

“Now, Red. I understand it is a very personal thing to show another monster, but I am interested in only the state it is in, and knowing the condition would-”

“hell no. not gonna happen. nope. no way.”

“Red, it is important-“

“ **N O** ,” he growled out, not caring anymore about being rude. He will never let another monster touch his soul. Never. He felt the familiar feeling of disassociation creeping at the edges of his mind, forcing him to stay his hand as it twitched to remove a sensation from his eye socket whose source has been gone for years.

Toriel flinched, but thankfully didn’t seem hurt or insulted. They stared at each other, stuck in an impasse. Finally, Toriel sighed. “I will not force you if you are uncomfortable. However, if there are signs of stress on your soul, it needs to be closely monitored as pregnancy can worsen it. It can be very dangerous for both you and the child. If me touching it makes you uncomfortable, would you be willing to hold it yourself so I can examine it visually?” she asked, the absolute patience Red associated with healers shining through. He squirmed. He really didn’t want this, but what if he endangered the kid just because he was uncomfortable? The kid didn’t get a say in anything, so he had to do his absolute best to make sure they were fine.

He sighed shakily, taking a moment to work up the nerve. Then he positioned his hands in front of his chest, cupping them as if he was trying to hold water in them. He channeled his magic and tugged at his chest, and with a slight pinch his soul was out. He felt cold sweat break out all over his body, his chest feeling cold and empty.

There was no other way to describe it; his soul was ugly. The light, shining gray it was supposed to be in newborn monsters, and that he could never actually remember it being, was dim and mottled, a large crack going from tip to bottom scarring its surface permanently. His magic wasn’t in use, but there were a few barely-there wisps of it, colouring it slightly red.

He was afraid to look up at Toriel’s face, afraid of the disgust she would surely show, but he heard her let out a sharp gasp of shock instead. She took a deep breath, and when she spoke, her voice shook.

“Red, what happened to you?! Last time I saw souls like that was during the war, in monsters that were close to falling down! How long has it been like this?!” she asked, dismayed. Red shrugged confused.

“since as long as i can remember? if i was gonna fall down i would have years ago.”

Toriel looked distraught and, less obviously, confused. “I’ve never seen anything like this. you’ve had this for years? i’ve only seen monsters who went through truly horrific things have cracks like that, the emotional stress would be too much and-” she shook her head. “Never mind. Have you felt any pain from the crack? Have you been feeling tired, like you have no energy? Hopeless?”

Red scratched his head. “never felt any pain from it. and I always felt tired and shit, but i don’t think i’m falling down if that’s what you’re asking.”

Toriel hummed thoughtfully, getting papers together from her desk. Red sighed in relief when she nodded at him to return his soul back to where it belonged, letting his body warm up and relax again as he watched her write things down. She frowned disapprovingly; it struck Red as a very motherly expression. “It is very unusual, but it seems the crack is not interfering with your magic or your body. However, I would like to ask you to come for examinations every 2 weeks so I can monitor it for any changes. Hopefully it won’t progress.”

Red groaned internally. He wanted to tell Toriel that soul cracks were something every adult monster had in his world and were nothing that elicited concern, but he couldn’t exactly tell her he was from another world. He was surprised that they were so uncommon it this world; something the queen last saw over a thousand years ago, as opposed to something most monsters had. Did souls work differently here? Or were the monsters just happier?

The examination now completely done, Toriel gave him a stack of papers nearly half his height, explaining the details of the diet plans, the process of delivery, her phone number in case of an emergency and even a shopping list of all the necessities a babybones might need. He was aware of some of the supplies children needed from taking care of Papyrus, but he still winced at the sheer amount of things to buy in preparation. There was no way for him to afford it, and it would put a dent into the skeleton brother’s funds. He knew they wouldn’t even be annoyed at paying for it, and he felt a brief but deep feeling of gratitude.

By the time he approached Frisk’s room, he was dead on his feet and more than ready to go home and sleep until dinner. He shifted the pile of papers around until he could knock, twice.

The door creaked open just a bit, revealing a bushel of brown hair and a blank expression. “kiddo says come on in and check out our wicked science experiment,” he heard Sans call from inside the room. The door swung open to reveal a stack of pillows, books, plush toys and a glass lamp balancing on a chair which, in turn, was only balancing on one leg.

“having fun while I’m getting poked and prodded, huh. you two don’t even understand the _gravity_ of the situation here,” Red joked, relieved that Sans seemed fine. It felt strange when he realized he was relieved the human was fine too, given what he knew they had done. Guess he still couldn’t quite stop thinking of his own human and this kid as the same person.

“kid needed me to explain anti-gravity for them for their report. it’s so interesting now it’s impossible to put down,” Sans said, both skeletons devolving into snickers. Frisk had the same neutral expression as always, but apparently decided they had had enough puns for now and shut themselves in the closet.

“well, that was fun. we good to go?” Sans asked, slowly standing up once Red nodded. “see ya, kiddo. call if you need help with any more science reports.”

Red swallowed quietly. “uh. bye kid.it was-nice. meeting ya, I mean,” Red said weakly. The kid popped their head out of the closet just enough to nod and then went back in. Red gripped his pile of papers and boxes of pie tighter, as if it would keep him safe.

After Sans said his goodbyes to Toriel, they took a shortcut back to their house. Papyrus seemed busy with scrubbing down the doorknobs in the house, but not so busy he wouldn’t greet them and try and get them to eat another meal. While Red was always up for free food, a fourth meal in the 5 or so hours he'd been awake seemed a bit excessive. With a swish of his scarf, Papyrus went on to dust his bookshelf, leaving the other two skeletons in a lazy pile on the couch, both groaning from the hard work they did today.

Sans unplugged one of the cellphones that sat on the coffee table charging. Instead of flipping it open and screwing around as Red expected, he handed it over.

“since you were so well-behaved today, here’s a reward. try not to break it.”

Red took it gingerly, noticing the flip-phone was black, instead of blue like Sans’. On the table was also a black phone with a cracked screen. Red frowned quizzically. Papyrus’ phone was a bright red with stickers of cartoon skeletons covering nearly the whole back. He wondered whose that one was.

“thanks. i’ll pay you back once I get a job,” Red replied, opening the contacts. There were exactly 4 numbers in it, none of them actual names. Sans sighed.

“it’s just a cheap flip-phone, you don’t have to pay me back. just use it if you need me or papyrus for something and to text your wannabe boyfriend so i can stop being your wingman already. i have a lot of slacking i could be doing instead.”

Red felt his face heat up. “fuck you, he’s not my boyfriend. also, fuck you, what am I even supposed to say to him? thirdly, fuck you, it’s unfair that you keep giving me shit and i can’t blackmail you back. hurry up and get an impossible and horribly embarrassing crush so i can get you back already.”

“nah. also, you don’t have to worry about starting a conversation, i already did it for you so you couldn’t chicken out,” Sans said with a wink, then blimp-crackled out of existence, probably to laze around in his room. Red felt a sharp sense of dread in the pit of his abdomen, somewhere behind where his ecto-stomach would be. He hurriedly opened his inbox, and sure enough, there was a single text chain there.

 

You: hey did u know the body has 206 bones in it? if u want I can give u the 207th

 

Red stared at the screen. Well. Honestly that was pretty smooth. He startled and dropped his phone, cursing, when it signaled a new text, opening it with bated breath.

 

Hot Daddy: Sans this isn’t your number. Also I don’t understand this pun.

I assume it’s you because it mentions bones.

 

Red inhaled deeply. Well. Apparently this was happening. He cracked his neck slowly. Time to show off his smoothness. Or make a fool of himself, that was also an option.

 

You: this is red actually. got a new phone

how u doin

Hot Daddy: Oh, hello Red. I am fine. How are you?

You: went to see toriel today, she said im healthy and the kids fine

also she gave me enough food to feed a small country so thats nice

Hot Daddy: You have to eat regularly, especially since you’re burning up so much magic. I was very worried when you collapsed.

I am glad you’re both healthy.

You: lol burning up magic? whos the fire monster here grillby?

i know im hot but still ;)

Hot Daddy: I see the outrageous flirting is still alive and kicking. It’s good to see you so energetic.

You: aww did u miss my shitty pick-up lines?

if it werent for the sun youd be the hottest thing in existence ;o

Hot Daddy: Red your texting skills are horrible. Also your flirting is horrible. Please stop.

You: theres no brakes on the smoothness train

next destination ur bedroom ;o

Hot Daddy: Red why.

 

Red snorted into the couch pillow, trying to silence his guffaws. God, Grillby was so disgusted, it was beautiful. He fiddled with the phone, checking out the games until the notification sound told him Grillby replied.

 

Hot Daddy: I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something. Is it alright?

 

Uh oh. Red had a nagging suspicion he was about to be asked to stop flirting. He’d do it, of course, he didn’t want the flame monster to be uncomfortable, but he missed annoying him already.

 

You: sure sup

Hot Daddy: Are you…actually serious about the flirting?

I don’t mean to sound full of myself if you are not, but I have no idea if you’re just joking or you’re serious.

 

Well. Welly well well. His answer should be carefully and calmly considered, then quickly said in a respectful fashion. Too bad Red felt himself snapping straight into panic mode, feeling his thought processes screeching to a halt, never mind that he had expected the question for weeks now. He needed backup. NOW. He ran up the stairs and banged on Sans’ door, breathing heavily.

“sans you numbskull, you started this shit and you’re damn well helping me finish it,” Red yelled, slamming open Sans’ door without permission. The other skeleton looked up from his table where he was busy gluing the lids to what seemed like every jar of jam or honey in the house.

“huh. you lasted longer than I thought you would. sup?”

Red was hyperventilating. “grillby asked me if I was flirting with him for real. what the fuck do I do.”

Sans sighed long and tired as he lowered the super glue. “well do you want to get together with him or nah?”

“how the fuck should i know?! he can’t be serious, right?” Red squeezed out, nervously fiddling with his fingers. Sans finally put down the glue and jar he was holding.

“you’ve been talking to him and hanging out every day since you met, and you get on well. not to mention you flirted with him constantly. i’m pretty sure you’d know if he hated you. come to think of it, why did you flirt with him if you don’t want to date him?”

Red groaned. “he’s a great guy, okay? and he’s hot too, heh, and it was funny, but then he started acting kinda awkward about it? i mean i didn’t think he’d be actually into me at any point, so I was kinda just messing around,” he said tiredly. He caught the deadpan look Sans was giving him. “okay so maybe I was pining a little. it’s not like it’s ever gonna happen anyways.”

“don’t be so sure of that,” Sans said, going back to his super-gluing. “he talks to you a lot more than most monsters, and you seem to get him. he’s known me for years, way longer than he’s known you, and he never mentioned anything about the war to me. heck, i can count on one hand the people he trades more than 2 sentences with at a time. face it buddy, you have a shot.”

“okay, that’s utter bullshit,” Red hissed. “i’m pregnant, broke and I don’t even have my own place. not even getting into my whole clusterfuck of mental, emotional and trust issues, he’s way out of my league. i just…what exactly can i offer him?” He had gone through his list of reason of ‘why it’s impossible to date Grillby’ a hundred times by now, but saying it out loud…it still hurt.

Sans leaned forward, eye lights looking straight into Red’s. “let me tell you something, red. i’ve been going to therapy for a year now, and there’s some damn important stuff i’ve learned, along with the fact that penis envy exists as a concept. you ready?” he said, taking a deep breath. “how good you think you are? it doesn’t matter.”

Red blinked. “you gonna elaborate or am I supposed to bend over and kiss your ass for that nugget of wisdom?”

“it doesn’t matter that you think you’re not worth it. it doesn’t matter whether you think you should be alone and miserable all your life. the one that decides whether you’re good enough for him is _him_ , not you. maybe you don’t have a job, and you’re in a rough spot, but apparently you’re giving him _something_ if he’s still hanging around you. if you’re always beating yourself down, thinking you’re so much worse than others and that you don’t deserve anything, the people that care about you are gonna be hurt, no matter how much you think they’d be better off.

you’re basically deciding that you know what another person deserves better than they do, and guess what? that’s insulting as hell. you can think badly of yourself, but not everyone agrees with that. so you can choose to be alone and miserable, making the people you love miserable too just so you can have an excuse to wallow in self-pity and give up on trying, or you can try and make an effort. that’s all there is to it.”

Red glared, his jaw clenched painfully. “so you’re lecturing me on how not to give up. that’s rich,” he said, snorting meanly, “coming from a guy that let his own brother and everyone else die. you know papyrus told me he thinks you don’t treat him like an adult? you think he doesn’t know you hide shit from him? you’re deciding what he can handle instead of letting him decide, so don’t you start this  ‘let other people decide’ shit with me.”

Sans’ eye lights flickered out of existence for a moment, his grin falling as a flash of pain crossed his face. Red felt a strong surge of guilt. That was a low blow, and Sans didn’t deserve it. After a few moments, however, Sans’ grin fell back in place, never reaching his eyes. “papyrus said…oh. he…never said anything to me. was he hiding that all this time?

Red swallowed, overcome by the sudden urge to hug the other skeleton. He felt like he couldn’t touch him, though. Not after what he said. “shit man, i’m sorry. that was low of me, i know you’ve been trying your best for him. he knows too, alright? he just…said he wished people gave him a bit more credit sometimes.”

Sans waved his hand absently. “nah, don’t apologize. i’m glad you told me. and you’re not _wrong_. i know i have a lot of stuff to unlearn and do differently. and maybe i’m not the best person to be saying this. but looking at you, you’re so much like i was before, except you’re not even trying to move forward. you didn’t have someone else push you into trying again like me. so i’m gonna push you, and papyrus is gonna push you, and i’m sure grillby would push you too, cuz you gotta do this, red. even if it’s difficult. even if it’s impossible.”

Red looked down at his fingers, looking at the little notches between his joints. Marks from all the times he fought back. Symbols of the times thing went to shit and he got through. “i-i don’t know. it’s been so long since it mattered if i made an effort or not. i don’t even know how to do it anymore.”

Sans sighed, exhausted. “sure you do. you’ve been doing it since you got pregnant, you know. you think fighting for the life of your kid isn’t trying? you think trusting someone when i can tell you’re not used to it isn’t trying? you’ve been doing your best to be nice to me and papyrus, and that’s not nothing. this is just another thing for you to work on. i know it’s hard to stop hating yourself, but at least don’t sabotage your chances of happiness. bet the kid would like to grow up seeing their dad happy. hell, i’d like to see you happy. i’m sure grillby would too."

Red laughed. “these conversations we have are so fucked up, man. but…it would be nice if one day i wouldn’t need them anymore,” he said, sighing. Sans had a point. He had a lot of points, actually, but especially about the kid. How could he expect the kid to grow up trying their best if he didn’t? “listen, as much as I love these really fucked-up pep talks we keep having, can we get back on the subject of what the fuck to do with grillby? we kinda got sidetracked here.”

Sans snickered, relieved at the change in subject. “well, we go back to where we started from: what do you want from grillbz? a stable, long-term relationship? a date and to see how it goes from there? sex friends? one-night stand? a really flirty, platonic friendship? figure that out and we have a starting point.”

Red walked to Sans’ bed and flopped onto his back with an obnoxious sigh. He wasn’t exactly offered a seat, but his legs were killing him. He rolled onto his side, facing Sans, as lying down on his back bothered his stomach. “i’m not sure? honestly, I don’t want to ruin our friendship under any circumstances, definitely not for a one-night stand, and…to be honest, i don’t think friends with benefits would be enough for me. it would be unfair to do it since i actually _like_ him. so it’s either stay just friends or have an actual relationship.”

“alright. what are the pros and cons of having a relationship with grillbz? and you can’t say ‘because I don’t have a shot’, because you two already have enough sexual tension that i feel the need to leave the room and wash my hands whenever you two start talking.”

“okay. that sounds like bullshit but okay. uh, let’s see,” Red muttered out, grabbing the pillow from under his head and hugging it to himself, “first con, i’m not exactly in a good place right now. with the kid I have a lot on my plate at the moment, and i don’t have any money, my own place or anything. second, I’ve never been in a relationship-”

“wait, what? dude, you’re always giving me shit for not getting laid, how did you never date someone?” Sans asked, incredulous.

“i have sex with people, numbskull. that doesn’t mean i dated any of them. anyways, i’ve never dated and have no idea what i’m supposed to do if we go out. i’m way too tired to go out on proper dates anyways. i mean, it sounds…kinda nice, actually? going out for food and shit and messing around? but i know how much energy i have now, and it’s not enough for dates every day. and last, i have…so many issues. i get anxiety attacks, i get defensive way too quick, i get flashbacks and ptsd shit sometimes, and that’s a lot of baggage to dump on someone. he deserves be-” Red cut himself off as he noticed the look Sans was giving him. “okay, fine. it would be _difficult_ for him. happy?”

“very,” Sans said, stretching. He propped his head on his hand with a yawn, his eyes closing. He was either thinking or falling asleep. If he didn’t reply within a minute, Red would slap him awake.

Just when Red tried getting up to hit him upside the head, Sans’ eye sockets cracked open. “alright, so. you have a lot going on now, i get that. but dating doesn’t have to involve going out every day if that’s too much for you. grillby would get that you’re pretty busy and tired, and with the bar he probably doesn’t have time to go out every day either. i’m sure if you asked him to take it slow he’d be happy to, the guy’s patient to a fault. as for the mental health issues, i think he’d understand it, maybe better than any other monster nowadays. i mean, you two both went through hell. you know what it’s like, how those things change a person, and you’d probably both be patient with it because you get what it’s like. i think it would be good for both of you.”

Red made a non-committal hum. “and what about me not datin’ anyone before? what if i fuck it up and lose a friend?”

“you never know until you try, buddy,” Sans said, calmly looking him over.

Red rolled onto his other side, facing the wall. Sans was, of course, right on all counts. If he wasn’t panicking and a coward he’d probably have figured all that shit out for himself, but alas. He didn’t need the other skeleton’s help to compile a pro list: it consisted of only one real entry. And that was that, despite his fear, he wanted to try.

He snapped up when a beep sounded from his phone, trying to unlock the screen and failing twice due to typing too fast, missing the keys in his nervousness. He forgot he was supposed to answer.

 

Hot Daddy: I am sorry, it seems I misinterpreted things and made this awkward.

I won’t be insulted if you were just joking.

 

Red closed his eye sockets. Of course Grillby took his lack of response wrong and started apologizing. He felt a phantom pang of pain in his chest, like a ring squeezing too tight around his soul. That’s all it took for Grillby to back off, huh? If he just said a joke now, or didn’t reply, he’d lose his chance. They’d just stay friends, if Grillby could even stomach him after this. It would be a bit awkward between them at first, but he’d be able to focus on the kid only, think only of getting back on his feet. Maybe it was selfish to want more. If he ignored his feelings they’d go away eventually, and he’d have a much calmer life with less craziness, less wild ups and downs, much more stable and monotonous, and Grillby would find someone better. He could pretend he didn’t feel that warmth in his soul whenever Grillby looked at him, that just the fire monster chuckling made him feel lighter.

Except Grillby seemed to want Red near. Except Red didn’t want to give up, not really. He was just scared of something completely new, something that was impossible just a month ago, back in his world. He never thought he’d have a chance to be with someone in that way, so he gave up hoping for it years ago. Hope was for children and idiots who didn’t know better.

Breathe in, breathe out. Hope could be for him too, right? He could be an idiot too. He opened his eyes and typed slowly.

 

You: okay so what if maybe i was like

40% joking and 60% serious

and by that i mean i wanted it to be serious but i figured i didnt have a shot

would that make things awkward

 

“your entire chat is a trainwreck red, geez. you’re not nearly as smooth as i thought you were. now i know you’re just a huge nerd,” Sans said from directly above Red’s shoulder, his breath rustling the fur on Red’s hoodie. He lifted his gaze from the phone to glare at the smug skeleton.

“do you mind, dipshit? it’s rude to snoop through other people’s conversations.”

“yeah but since you’re technically me, that makes this my conversation. ergo, not snooping,” Sans said, grabbing Red’s wrist to move the phone into a better position.

“so if i drink your shitty ketchup, you don’t have to eat because i’m you? fuck off,” Red barked, shaking the hand off. The phone pinged.

 

Hot Daddy: I wouldn’t say you don’t have a shot.

 

“oh boy, red, you’re getting laid-”

“sans shut the fuck up, oh my god,” Red hollered, smacking his other self with a pillow while blushing furiously. Okay, his soul was doing backflips in his chest, but he should calm down and work his charm. He can do it, He can make it work.

 

You: well fuck i didn’t expect to get a yes

you must really like shitty pick-up lines

good thing i can deliver. wink

Hot Daddy: Did you seriously just type “wink”.

I deeply regret my actions already. I changed my mind, I’m not interested anymore.

You: too late you cant get rid of me now ;o

 

Sans mimed wiping a tear. “i can’t believe how smooth you are. you’re definitely getting laid and i’m not. it really rattles my bones.”

“damn straight, i’m so smooth you could ice skate on my bony ass,” Red said, pumping his fist into the air with a grin. Then he immediately slammed his face into the bed. “i am going to screw up so bad, oh my god.”

“so you’re panicking _after_ he said yes? that’s dumb. i mean, i get it, but it’s still dumb. you’ll be fine. you’ll have mind blowing sex and raise an entire brood of kids and be happy forever after. no pressure,” Sans said, finally giving up on reading his texts and lying next to Red on the bed. “you need some warm milk or something after all that stress?”

“what i need is a stiff drink and a blowjob, and i can’t drink alcohol,” Red grumbled into the mattress. Sans sniggered, slapping him lightly on the back.

“well you’re on the way to getting a blowjob, so that’s something. congrats on growing a pair, buddy. don’t overthink it and you two might make each other happy,” Sans said, a touch of fondness in his voice. Red glanced at him from the corner of his eye socket. The lazy skeleton seemed quietly pleased with the situation. Guess he was really rooting for them. It made Red’s chest feel warm. Another ping startled him out of his musings.

 

Hot daddy: Would you like to come over to my place the day after tomorrow? I could make dinner.

It would be nice to talk about this in person.

I assumed you would be more comfortable with that than going out. I’m open to suggestions though.

 

“Sans, he’s going to feed me. fuck me right up the ass, my date wants to _feed_ me,” Red said, trying to pretend like the tears gathering in his eye sockets were just an exaggeration made for laughs and not from genuine feelings-both from the pregnancy screwing with him and from Grillby being a sweetheart. He would get delicious food, and Grillby thought he was interesting enough to go on a date with, even though he was an anxious, pregnant fuck-up. Sans flipped onto his stomach, staring intently at Red’s face.

“…dude, are you crying?”

“i’m knocked up, i can cry a bit if i want to,” Red warbled, sniffing strongly. He typed a quick reply.

 

You: fuck yes. food and chill ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

you really know how to treat a skeleton right grillby

lookin forward to it ;)

 

Sans gave him a pat on the head, then flopped back onto his back. Red thought about getting up, but a wave of exhaustion swept over him and he moaned into the pillow. He was fucking done with emotions for today. To hell with it being only 5 pm, he was taking a nap. He thought Sans would kick him out of his bed, but the other skeleton just casually threw a blanket over both of them and pointedly didn’t ask for his pillow back. Red turned his back to him and, when Sans’ breathing evened out, he scooted closer. He felt giddy and exhausted, like he used to feel after spending an entire afternoon building snowmen with his brother, falling asleep easily with the satisfaction of knowing you did well that day.

He let the warm feelings lull him to sleep, the gentle pulses of magic from his child a melody in the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay let me be rant here for a moment: I'm a little confused with portrayals in which Frisk is being forced to kill everybody by Chara, and I see a lot of those. Look, I get the need for maximum drama, but the whole point of the Genocide route is that YOU are the one killing the monsters. Chara will literally never hit someone first until we get to Flowey. They may trigger a fight, they may hit the second time after you swing first. But the only person they actually killed themselves was Flowey, and that's even after a Genocide run is completed and you do a soulless run. I've read stories in which Chara is evil and Frisk is a trapped cinnamon roll and yeah some were amazing, but it kind of defeats the entire purpose of the Genocide run-the point was that you were willing to kill absolutely everyone just to satisfy your curiosity. It always felt to me like blaming someone else for your own mistakes and decisions. What do you lot think of this?
> 
> If you're gonna Genocide, own it brah.  
> (This is actually Bad Advice don't genocide pls. Or do, who am I to stop you lol. Only reason I didn't was because Undyne was too tough anyways)


	11. Do you people even read these chapter titles?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date night is here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so apart from a single exam whose results I'm still waiting for over 3 weeks later, I passed all my exams. No one is more surprised by this turn of events than me.  
> Also I'm sick as a dog, I have a solid 38.6 degrees Celsius fever and my head hurts and I was supposed to be skiing and took a week off from classes for it (I'll have to be examined for the classes that I missed). The only break we got was 2 weeks of winter break, which ended with a final exam so I didn't rest at all. Followed by a month of combined exams/classes. Because who the fuck need time off from classes for studying for midterms when you're in med school anyway  
> Anyways bless you all, we hit 760 kudos. Every time this fic passes a 100-kudos mark, all I can think of, tears gathering in my eyes, is: "Don't you guys have anything better to do?" I mean I'm not complaining but sheesh. It's skelepreg. I did not expect it at all.  
> Talk to me at <http://captain-shitpost.tumblr.com/>  
> 

„and if you need a lift-“

„call you or papyrus, yes i know oh my god. I'm not five, sans, i can take care of myself,“ groaned Red, fiddling with his jacket nervously. He hadn't let Papyrus pick out his date clothes, but maybe he should have. He suddenly felt really underdressed. Why couldn't he have thought about this before he left home?

Red tried to control his breathing, deep breath in, breathe out, but he was failing. He felt perfectly happy and excited just a few hours ago, why was he panicking like an idiot now?! It would be fine. He would meet up with Grillby, go to his place, eat a delicious dinner, crack some shitty jokes to try and get him to laugh and talk. No pressure. Just a nice, relaxing hang out. It would be fine.

Who was he kidding, it would not be fine. Everything will go to hell, he'll go too far with his jokes and offend Grillby or he'll realize Red has too much baggage and dump him. Which is fine! He never dated before, he can live with being single. At least he won't panic like this all the time. He'll just have to live with the disappointment of fucking up a relationship with one of the few people that he had a shot with and deal with Grillby finding someone else and never smiling at him again and-

„HELLO? RED, ARE YOU THERE?“

Red startled. What just-

He felt the touch of plastic on his cheekbone. Oh. Sans had pushed his phone against Red’s earhole with a grimace, Papyrus' voice loud and ringing in his head. Red grabbed the phone to keep it pressed to his face. He couldn't quite focus his eye lights enough to see Sans clearly. „uh. hey, papyrus.“

„SANS HAS TOLD ME YOU ARE VERY NERVOUS BECAUSE OF YOUR DATE!!! AS A FAMILY MEMBER THAT IS RELATED TO YOU IN A VERY PERPLEXING FASHION, IT IS MY DUTY TO CALM YOU IN THIS TROUBLING TIME, FOR I AM, OF COURSE, VERY SOOTHING! FIRST, ARE YOU BREATHING?“ Papyrus asked, voice bursting with patience. Red blinked, then sucked in a shuddering breath. Huh. He didn't even notice he stopped breathing.

„yup.“

„EXCELLENT! NOW WE CAN PROCEED TO THE NEXT STEP! SECOND, ARE YOU IN A CALM ENVIRONMENT?“

Red looked around, taking in the smell of gasoline as cars proceeded to speed past them, the sounds punctuated with the distant screams of a couple arguing in a back alley. „yup.“

„AMAZING! YOU ARE DOING GREAT, RED!!! SINCE YOUR ENVIRONMENT IS CALM, YOU CAN NOW FOCUS ON CALMING YOURSELF! THINK OF SOMETHING THAT CALMS YOU, LIKE A WARM FIRE OR MY GENTLE YET FIRM HUGS!“

„papyrus i am freaking out over a date with a fire monster, telling me to think of fire won't exactly calm me. If anything it’ll get me _hot and bothered_ ,“ Red said, trying to control his grin.

„THEN KINDLY UNSTICK YOUR MIND FROM THE GUTTER AND THINK OF FIRE PLATONICALLY! FRIENDZONE YOUR FLAMES FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS EXERCISE!!!“ he exclaimed with the patience of a life coach. „NOW, REMEMBER ALL THE THINGS YOU ARE PROUD OF! SAYING THEM OUT LOUD WILL HELP YOU GAIN MORE CONFIDENCE!“

Red blinked. Okay. Apparently he was doing this. He could already feel Sans giving him judgmental looks behind his back. „uh. i'm…proud of the fact that i can fall asleep standing up.“

The line went dead for a long while, the silence interrupted only by the sound of breathing. „YOU KNOW WHAT? FINE. IT _IS_ PRETTY IMPRESSIVE THAT YOU CAN DO THAT. IT'S A TALENT OF A SORT! KEEP GOING!!!“

„i can-shit, i dunno. i can crack some really great puns.“

„KEEP GOING, RED! YOU'RE ON A ROLL!“

„…i got the guts to sort of confess to grillby, kind of,“ he said quietly, feeling his face burning a little. He felt stupid for feeling proud of something like that, something most people could do without having a nervous breakdown over, but he felt proud nonetheless.

„EXACTLY!!! YOU CONFESSED YOUR FEELINGS, AND HE ASKED YOU OUT! WHICH MEANS GRILLBY THINKS YOU'RE VERY GREAT!!! SO THERE IS NO REASON TO BE SO NERVOUS THAT HE WON'T LIKE YOU, BECAUSE HE OBVIOUSLY ALREADY LIKES YOU VERY MUCH!“ Papyrus exclaimed cheerfully. „…DID THAT HELP? DO YOU FEEL MORE CONFIDENT NOW?“

Red chuckled. Stars, this guy was a sweetheart. „yeah, it helped. thanks, papyrus.“

„IT WAS NO PROBLEM AT ALL! IF YOU STILL FEEL NERVOUS, I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT IMAGINING PEOPLE NAKED WILL MAKE YOU LESS SO! I'M…NOT SURE HOW THAT WOULD WORK IN YOUR CASE. BUT FEEL FREE TO TRY! THE GREAT PAPYRUS DID NOT, IN FACT, PATENT THIS METHOD, AND IT IS FREE FOR USE!“

„nah, that would be too much to _bare_ , papyrus, sorry,“ Red said, shit-eating grin in place. The line went quiet for a long moment, followed by the sound of the call ending from Papyrus' side. Red guffawed. „your bro's a treasure, man,“ he said, still chortling.

Sans smiled. „tell me something i don't know,“ he answered, smiling. „so. you sure you can shortcut both of you? i know i’d third-wheel, but it would be safer to walk in a group if you can’t handle it.“

Red rolled his eyes. „i haven't been running myself ragged, i'm eating, i'm sleeping, and it's not as if i'm using the blasters. i can handle it, _mom_ ,“ he said, exasperated. “i’ll shortcut us safe and sound to his place, and if shit goes wrong i’ll call. why doesn’t grillbz have a car anyways?”

“fire hazard,” Sans answered, shrugging. He excused himself to a shortcut with a wink and a clap on Red’s shoulder, leaving him alone to face his fate. Red steeled his resolve. Took a deep breath. Then relaxed his shoulders, sticking his hand into his pocket, and stepped into Grillby’s.

He got a few cheerful, drunken greetings from the patrons, and he joked with a few and assured the ones asking about Sans that he wasn’t coming today. Finally, when he beat around the bush long enough, he looked at the bar.

Grillby was looking at him, and as soon as they made eye contact (glasses-eye light contact?) he saw his mouth spread into a jagged smile, hard to notice, but he knew what to look for at this point. Red secretly liked the wriggly feeling it gave him in his rib cage, and couldn’t help smiling back as he hoisted himself up onto his seat. He breathed evenly to hide how much effort it took him to do so.

“hey there, hot stuff,” he said.

“hey there, yourself,” Grillby replied, still grinning. It was really sexy, and also just a touch cute. No ordering was necessary for Red to get a bottle of mustard in front of him. How domestic.

Red popped it open and took a sip, the warm sting distracting in a pleasant way. “so. what’s the plan? you closing the bar soon?”

Grillby nodded to the human signaling him from the other end of the bar. “…I’ll be here a bit longer. I expected to be done early but it’s a busy night, I apologize,” he sighed.

“no biggie, i can wait. if you come back and see a pile of bones with moss growing on it, that’s me.”

Grillby rolled his eyes, or came as close to it as a monster with no real eyeballs could while still seeming perfectly polite and proper to an outside observer. He had a feeling most people didn’t realize what a sarcastic ass Grillby could be only because he had a difficult face to read and preferred not to speak. He took off to take care of the tables, serving the human at the bar another tea without question. Red followed him with his gaze, noting how relaxed the customers were, casually chatting with him even if he rarely said anything in return. He wondered if they noticed Grillby smiled every time he talked to them.

He was also trying to ignore the human at the bar staring at him, but that proved difficult once they got up and moved to the barstool next to his. Red turned to them slowly and locked eyes with them. He was trying not to snap at anyone staring at him these days-he was raised to see staring as aggression, but he realized monsters here didn’t mean it that way-but a human coming so close to him was not something he was comfortable with. Not to mention he was pretty protective these days, being pregnant and all. The kid kicked him in the spine in what Red liked to think of as support.

The human seemed unperturbed though. They had unusual white hair, at least Red thought it was unusual for a human, and didn’t clearly present as a certain gender. They moved slowly, but with purpose.

“Hello. You come here often,” they said, voice high and melodious. He just wanted to turn back to the bar and ignore them, but he didn’t want to cause trouble. So he ended up glaring at them, waiting for them to give up and return to their seat. They didn’t take the hint.

“Sooo you have a thing going on with Grillby, right? The other patrons said that they…ship you? Is that the word?” they asked, kicking their legs as they sipped on their drink.

Red felt his face heat up. That was a rather personal question from someone he never talked to before. “what’s it to ya?”

The human smiled. “I’m just curious. Grillby’s very nice, but he doesn’t date much, I think. The two of you are kind of cute.”

“okay, so, i don’t know who you are and i don’t really care, but why don’t you keep your nose out of our business _, buddy_ ,” Red hissed, keeping the volume low enough not to be overheard. The human unfortunately didn’t seem intimidated, just nonplussed.

“Oh, I’m a regular, I come here often. Grillby and I talk a lot. Well, he doesn’t speak much, but we do manage to have some interesting conversations. He didn’t mention you, but you spend a lot of time here, so I got curious,” they said lightly, ignoring his implicit threat completely. Rude.

Red didn’t like them. Probably because they were human and he was admittedly prejudiced against them, what with the murders going on and the insults he heard directed at monsters more than a few times. A small part of it was good old-fashioned jealousy though. Grillby didn’t _mention_ him because he didn’t talk to other people unless he had to, Red being one of the few exceptions. Smug asshole was implying things about how they were close to Grillbz and dismissing him.

Okay so maybe jealousy wasn’t a small part. He wasn’t a possessive guy by nature and it didn’t even feel like they were interested in Grillby, but Red was observant enough to know they were subtly looking down on him. He was debating whether to ignore them or keep talking to them and risk losing his temper when Grillby returned, looking at the two of them with curiosity.

“Oh, don’t mind me, I’ll give you two some space. See you tomorrow, Grillby!” they chirped, paying for their drinks and getting up. Grillby nodded in thanks, putting on fire-proof gloves to wash the dirty glasses he collected. Red kept his eye lights on the human as they waved to the other patrons until they exited. They seemed to know a lot of the monsters here.

Red leaned onto the bar, mandible in hand. He knew Grillby was curious about what they talked about. He also knew he wouldn’t pry. What a considerate date. “hey, grillbz? you friends with that kid?”

Grillby’s flames shuddered in amusement. “They’re much too old to be a kid, Red,” he said, drying the glasses by heating the air around them. “We are acquaintances. They enjoy talking to people. I think they’ve talked to everyone in the bar.”

Red hummed. Grillby liked them well enough, so he wasn’t about to shit-talk them in front of him. And they might have been nosy, but they didn’t treat him badly or say anything really insulting. They just talked as if they were better than them. Humans sure liked feeling superior, huh. Whatever, he had nicer things to focus on than an annoying human.

He killed time until closing by talking to Grillby whenever he went behind the bar and watched him flit around, going from patron to patron like a busy bee that was also on fire. He was even rewarded with Grillby’s glorious butt once when he bent over to pick up a stray napkin. He couldn’t say he minded waiting in these circumstances.

Finally, Grillby made the last call, the patrons grudgingly getting out their money or putting their drinks on their tabs. One monster complained over the early closing, but the drunk bunny that was basically a permanent fixture in the bar nudged them with her elbow and not-so-subtly gestured at Red, eyebrows wiggling. Red sunk his face into his hoodie and pretended he couldn’t see them. He still heard their giggling, though.

With a quick wipe of the tables after everyone left, Grillby was ready to go. “Are you sure you can handle using your magic now?” he asked reluctantly, putting on his coat. Red wasn’t sure why he needed it, it’s not like he could get cold.

“grillbz, come on. it’s safer than the two of us walking alone, your bar isn’t exactly in a good neighborhood. and i think i know how much magic i can use up,” Red said calmly, grin in place. He didn’t like everyone second-guessing how he used magic, but he knew they did it because they cared, for whatever reason.

“…I didn’t mean to imply you can’t handle your magic. It was just…very upsetting when you collapsed. I never saw Sans panic before that. I worry too much, I know. Please bear with me.”

Red barked out a laugh. “sans panicked? oh man. i’m gonna rub that in his smug face. he never mentioned that, you know,” Red said, holding out his hand. Grillby hesitated, his hand hovering above Red’s, before cautiously grabbing it.

Red didn’t realize how much he missed his shortcuts until he felt that brief feeling of weightlessness ending with static on his bones, landing right in front of the door to Grillby’s apartment. Thank fuck he knew where the door was, he would die if he had to climb three flights of stairs. And as the cherry on top, he felt a bit drained, but otherwise fine. No more fainting spells from magic use, as long as he was careful of course.

Grillby shuddered, crackle-snapping violently. Red grinned as he waited for the flame monster to gather himself and unlock the door. “you sure don’t like my shortcuts, huh?”

“It’s _suffocating_. Skeletons and their lack of need to breathe…” Grillby muttered darkly.

Red only saw Grillby’s room before, and he wasn’t surprised the rest of his apartment was just as nice and neat. The only thing out of order were a few books on the couch and a picture of Mount Ebott that was hanging just a bit off-center. Grillby offered him a drink (which he declined) and told him to make himself at home while he finished dinner. Red spent a bit of time watching him cooking, but Grillby concentrated on his cooking too much to talk casually, so Red went exploring.

The largest part of the walls was taken up by bookcases, the few free walls covered in paintings of landscapes and forests. On closer examination, the bookcases had a wide array of books: many fiction titles, a few he identified as romances from the covers, history books, 2 entire shelves of cookbooks, surprisingly many books about plants and interior decorating, and tucked into the lowest shelf, out of sight, was what Red was pretty sure was erotica. He kind of wanted to know what Grillby was into, but he figured it was bad form to read your date’s porn without their permission. Instead he cracked open a joke book he found hidden from sight behind “1001 Cookie Recipes” and snorted at the truly shitty puns inside. He was almost 100% sure it had been a gift from Sans.

Bored of snooping through bookshelves, Red's attention was caught by multiple framed pictures and various trinkets on a dark-wood table, pushed over to the wall. He picked up the first picture, glossy wood framing a photo of the inside of Grillby's bar. Judging by the different decor and room shape, it was taken back in the underground. The entire canine unit was in the foreground, Lesser Dog's excited movement blurring the picture. The dogs all looked much friendlier than in his own world-the goofy grins and lack of snarling might have something to do with it. In the background he saw Grillby, head bent as if he was looking down and started to raise his head. Even Sans was there in his usual seat, grinning as he always did. Red Bird was frozen in a spit take, and from the slightest smug edge of Sans' smile he figured the bird monster’s drink was spiked with something.

The other picture was simpler: in it there were just Grillby and another flame monster, about 14 years old judging by her height and school uniform. She was an unusual shade of green, and her smile wasn't visible, but he could tell she was laughing by the way her eyes crinkled.

Red picked the other photo up, angling it away from the glare of the lamp light reflecting off of it. He thought Grillby was the only fire monster left in the Underground, and the photo was relatively new, so she had to have been born not too long ago. But there was no way he had a daughter Red never heard of before…right?

Did it even matter, though? He could hardly make a fuss over Grillby having kids in his position, if she even was his daughter. The man was over a thousand years old, it wouldn't be strange if he had a family at some point, especially since he seemed to like kids. It was just surprising. Grillby was quiet, but he never seemed to mind sharing personal information with Red, so he figured he would have mentioned having a family of his own.

„Dinner will be ready in 15 minutes,“ Grillby announced walking into the living room, the homey smell of food following him like a shadow. He must have noticed Red’s confusion, because he chuckled. „Ah. That's Fuku,“ he said, smile audible in his voice. Red offered the photo to him, and Grillby looked at it fondly.

„you related?“ he asked, looking at her face. Seeing resemblance in fire monsters was kind of out of his area of expertise, but she was a different colour than Grillbz and her head and eye shape were different from his. But then again, there weren't a lot of fire monsters running around, so maybe they all looked different.

„No. She's my soulchild,“ he said, smiling, putting the frame down and angling it exactly the way it was before. Red raised his browbones, long enough for Grillby to notice. „She's a monster type throwback. Her parents are both Pyropes, but they both had fire elementals in their families some generations back. They came to me when she was born and asked me for help with her magic training.“

“bet you make a great soulparent. you’re the type that disciplines _and_ spoils kids, I can tell,“ Red remarked. The way the young flame was smiling and leaning into Grillby made it obvious how close they were.

„…She's in college now. I was worried since she used to skip school a lot, but it seems she's having fun and working hard,“ he said, then sighed quietly. „…They really do grow up fast.“

Red sighed melancholically. „that's good. at least she’s growing up. that's more than some get,“ he said wistfully. He remembered the time when he and Papyrus lived on the streets of New Home, entire hordes of children making their own little houses from cardboard and old blankets in the narrow alleys, tucked away behind the polished shops and out of sight of the guards patrolling the main streets. Every now and then he'd realize he hadn't seen a certain kid in weeks, and most of the time he'd never see them again. Only rarely did some of them come back missing various appendages, and a few he saw again as an adult, wearing the gilded collars that signified personal slaves, their faces as empty as their souls were broken.

He twitched as he realized Grillby had fallen silent, turning to look at him. His fire was burning low, signifying his worry. Red chuckled, a subtle edge of bitterness tainting the sound. „sorry. got a little carried away. i _try_ not to be a downer, usually.“

Grillby relaxed minutely, then turned for the kitchen, hand resting gently on Red's back to guide him towards the source of the delicious smell. It was comfortingly warm. „I don't mind,“ he said calmly. In the kitchen he busied himself by pulling out a pan from the oven, making the mouth-watering smells intensify. „…I'm just glad you got out.“

Red felt a pang of guilt. He may have gotten out, but his brother was still stuck back Underground. What kind of person would leave their family behind like he did, when he knew how bad their world was? And what kind of person would be even the least bit homesick for a world such as his?!

It was an upsetting realization he came to weeks ago, the fact that being at peace made him uncomfortable. His world might have been a shitshow, but at least he knew what to expect. He always felt off-balance here, like he could never really trust people to keep being kind. And somewhere back in his universe was his brother, going on dangerous assignments for the guard, being pushed to pick up everyone else’s slack and possibly getting hurt, maybe even-

He wondered if his brother missed him. After everything he became.

„…yeah. me too.“

With the grace of a man with years of experience in the service industry, Grillby sat him down, set the table, gracefully declined Red’s offer to help and served them both. The food was chicken, potatoes and vegetables, and that's about as far as Sans could identify the ingredients as it was prepared in ways he was unfamiliar with. It was all delicious to him, though.

They cycled through conversation topics one after another, going from gossip to Mettaton's upcoming show to Grillby's plans for redecorating to Red's retellings of the various movies he's seen. They changed conversation topics without warning, the genres of music Grillby enjoyed shifting into conversations about their lives growing up. At one point Red let his curiosity get the better of him and asked Grillby point blank how come he never had children, when he obviously loved them. The moment it came out of his mouth, Red flushed in embarrassment at his stupidity. Who the hell asks someone why they don’t have kids on the first date?! Grillby’s flames shuddered in good-natured laughter though, although he seemed wistful when he replied.

“…I didn’t want children on my own. For me, the point of having them is to create a new family with someone you love, more than to have a child in and of itself. Not to mention the bar keeps me too busy to be a single parent,” he replied. Red noticed how he seemed to subconsciously stroke his chest, around where his sternum would be if he had one, and noticed a slight bunching of the fabric, as if there was an object underneath it. “…I haven’t had the luck to be with a monster long enough for that. Or they wanted different things from life, and we couldn’t compromise on it.”

Red listened carefully, trying to hide his smirk and failing. He figured a change in topics was in order. “you know, you talk a lot more with me than with other people, handsome. a guy might get a big head from it.”

“…The constant stream of puns and compliments inspire me to new linguistic heights. Or maybe it’s because you can understand me when I speak. Or maybe you just ask good questions,” Grillby retorted, then dug back into his meal.

They talked throughout dinner, but every now and then they grew silent, which Red tended to break after a minute or two with a joke or observation, making Grillby smile and the conversation pick right back up. Red found the pauses a tad awkward, but also kind of nice. He could really appreciate the warmth of the atmosphere when no words were distracting him.

They eventually shifted to the couch after Grillby suggested watching a movie, Red nestled in a fluffy blanket burrito made doubly warm by the living flame sitting next to him. He felt pretty emboldened by how well the date was going, so he snuggled into Grillby's side, careful not to spill the coffee he got to avoid falling asleep halfway through the movie. Grillby crackled in surprise, but after being frozen (heh) for a moment, he circled his arm gently around Red's shoulders. Red snuggled deeper into the blankets to cover his blush and what he was sure was a very dopey grin.

The movie Grillby picked was boring, which Red kept quiet about since he was trying to be a good sport, but Grillby eventually relented and encouraged Red to pick another one. He ended up regretting his decision since they ended up watching Sans' favourite movie, one Red had already seen and loved, and Red had a great time watching the confused faces Grillby was making throughout the entire film. He even took his glasses off at one point to rub his eyes, as if trying to understand why the characters started throwing a football around wearing suits for no given reason was giving him a headache. He laughed so hard at that that he got teary eyed and actually stopped making sounds altogether, limbs flailing like a seal monster on a bad trip. Grillby thankfully didn't seem to mind.

He woke up suddenly when he felt Grillby shifting him to get up, laying him down on the couch and tucking him in. The credits were rolling, so he must have fallen asleep halfway through the movie. Eh, he lasted a few hours, it was better than he expected honestly. He lowered his lids again and enjoyed the sickeningly domestic sounds of Grillby clearing the table, lowering blinds and switching off lights. He found it very soothing for some reason. If he could get a recording of those sounds, he’d listen to them before falling asleep to calm down. Lastly, Grillby came in front of the TV, warming Red’s front with his presence, and switched it off. He watched the way the flame monster’s back curved underneath his shirt as he slowly stretched.

“sorry for falling asleep.”

Grillby flinched hard enough to let go of the remote, then scrambled to try and catch it only for it to land on his foot. He sighed deeply. “…I didn’t notice you were awake,” he said, putting the remote back in place. “…It’s late.”

“yeah, i know. I think the darkness gave it away,” Red said, stretching. His spine was starting to lock up from lying on the couch. His stomach was limiting his movements nowadays, and he had trouble being on his back for any length of time, which led to some pretty uncomfortable sleeping positions. “you want me to go home?”

“No. It’s not safe going out this late,” Grillby said decisively. Red chuckled internally. He could be such a mother hen. “…You can sleep in my bed. It’s more comfortable. I’ll text Sans so he and his brother don’t worry.”

“pretty forward of you, grillbz. on the first date, even. didn’t think you wanted to _bone_ this much.”

“…I planned to sleep on the couch,” Grillby said disapprovingly. His face was starting to go blue.

“well that would make the sex kinda complicated.”

“Red, _I’m not having sex with you on the first date_ ,” Grillby said, glaring. He was turning an alarming shade of blue in embarrassment, and if Red had any less control of himself he’d just keep on making him squirm. He did love it when sensible, grown adults started sputtering in embarrassment. He figured he’d pushed the limits enough for one night though, and to be honest he wasn’t quite ready to take that step yet anyways.

“i’m just messing with you, hot stuff. and anyways, i’m fine here. i’d feel bad kicking you out of your own bed. at least I fit on the couch.”

“You’re a guest, Red. You’re sleeping on the bed even if I have to carry you,” Grillby huffed determinedly, making a small smoke cloud rise from his head. “…The couch will kill your back.”

Red mulled it over. Grillby obviously wasn’t budging and he remembered how soft his bed was, it would feel amazing on his aching spine. That decision out of the way, he contemplated whining until Grillby carried him, but he didn’t want to _really_ annoy him-Grillby worked his butt off tonight to pull the whole date together, while he sat back and did nothing. He should probably do something in return some time. He managed to swing his legs over the edge of the couch and somehow get upright, as tangled in blankets as he was. He couldn’t hold back a yawn.

“welp. thanks for letting me stay. and the food. and the warmth of your company, handsome,” he said, winking. He figured he sounded cringey, but Grillby, for all that he tried to look like he wasn’t affected by his words, seemed just a bit proud. Maybe even smug. Honestly, if he kept looking so pleased to get compliments, Red would keep going all night.

“…It was a pleasure,” he replied finally, sitting down and carefully attempting to untangle Red from his blanket burrito. He chuckled. “…You didn’t kick around while you slept, how did you get so tangled up?”

“it’s a talent,” Red snickered out.

As they quieted down, he watched the way Grillby’s flames danced in the darkness. Calm, yet somehow lively. Mesmerizing. His thoughts began straying to some of the things he fantasized about way too often to comfortably admit, Grillby’s proximity and warmth making it impossible to get his mind back on track. He felt his face heat up and soul start hammering as if it wanted to leap into his throat. It felt like a pressure, a compulsion, growing in the center of his chest, nudging his body into action until all his mind could focus on was trying to stay still. The rational part of him was screaming incoherently, as it usually did when he had these moments, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back.

He leaned forward lightly, squinting at Grillby’s face. “Not to be a _wet blanket_ , but you have something on your lips.”

Grillby frowned. “…It didn’t burn? What is it?”

Red looked up, making eye contact. It was weird, how close you could feel to someone by just looking them in the eyes. He leaned forward and, more gently than he touched anyone in years, pressed his teeth to Grillby’s mouth.

It felt warm and strangely soft yet solid, as if Grillby had a harder, more compact core beneath his flames. He didn’t linger, and the heat from that one point of contact warmed his entire body as he backed up, just enough to look back up into Grillby’s eyes. His nervousness numbed him enough that he couldn’t feel his face as he winked. “my mouth. i got it off now.”

Grillby’s flames were completely blue now, giving the room a very soothing lighting. He also wasn’t moving. Even his flames were mostly still, as impossible as that seemed. Red felt his nervous grin start falling, sweat starting to break out on the back of his cervical spine.

Did he mess up? Did he overstep some boundaries? Was Grillby actually just being nice by letting him stay, and was planning to tell him it wouldn’t work out between them in the morning after all? He didn’t exactly make a good first impression, for fuck’s sake he fell asleep on the first date, what the fuck. He knew he shouldn’t have pushed so hard, why didn’t he ever think before he did things?!

Red was snapped out of his downward spiral of anxiety by Grillby emitting a puff of dense smoke from the top of his head with a “fwomph”, followed by an exaggerated cough. “I-I’m sorry, I did not expect _that_.”

Red blinked. “so you don’t mind?”

Grillby giggled nervously, then coughed again once he realized what he was doing. “I-no. No, I don’t mind. At all.”

Red let out a sigh of relief. Then chuckled. “alright. tell me if i do cross a line though, okay, hot stuff?”

Grillby’s face was starting to turn red and yellow again, and his eyes crinkled in a smile. “Alright,” he said, voice dropping low and sultry, so quiet that Red almost didn’t hear it. Grillby leaned down, gently nuzzling his face into Red’s cheek, then went lower into the crook of his neck with a hum and stayed there, enjoying the contact. It made Red feel…strong, somehow. Like he could take on the world at the moment. Ridiculous, but he savored the feeling, filing it away for later when he was alone. Stars, he forgot how nice it could feel to just touch someone casually, instead of the heated, hurried groping of sex or violent grabs during arguments. He raised his hand to scratch Grillby’s head, feeling the warmth of the flames and the way they almost had a texture at the roots.

They stayed together, Red couldn’t say how long, but at one point he couldn’t stifle a yawn. He felt the shudder of Grillby’s flames as his deep laugh cut straight through his soul. Or maybe his nether regions. One or the other. They pulled away, and the look Grillby gave him was almost unbearably soft. With a quick peck to his cheekbone, Grillby got up and held his hand out, helping Red get up. He didn’t let his hand go as he led him to the bedroom. Red flopped onto the bed, groaning in pleasure as his spine relaxed into the soft mattress. He looked at Grillby expectantly until the fire monster humored him and threw a blanket over him, forcing him to burrow until his head popped out. Grillby stopped in the doorway, and Red gave him a smirk just to see that quick flash of blue in his face.

“we should do this again some time, hot stuff,” Red drawled, slurring a bit as his exhaustion caught up to him fully.

“…I’ll take you up on that,” Grillby whispered and shut the door quietly behind him as he left. Red touched his cheekbone, the spot Grillby kissed feeling hotter than the rest of his face despite being the same temperature. The flame monster may have left, but he had a way of leaving Red heated.

It would probably be impolite to rub one out in his date’s bed though, despite the smoky smell of the bed sheets and his riled-up soul tempting him. He rolled over before he did something else stupid and slipped into a deep sleep without dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I headcanon that the UF skeletons are a bit shorter than their UT counterparts due to malnutrition as children. Sans was secretly a tad pleased not to be the shortest guy around.  
> Okay, so the question for this chapter: What's your favourite AU? Mine are Underfell (duh) and Dancetale. Underfell because I love fics in which people are in a shitty situation and somehow find love and friendship to help them through, and also because the fluffiness is sweeter and it has more swearing. Dancetale I love because I friggin love dancing. I'm a mediocre dancer, but I could watch dance videos for days.  
> Also I adore Fresh and Error (I mean holy shit Error is probably what got me into this fandom after I finished the game anyways), but they're more like alternate versions of Sans than full-fledged AU's. In short CQ is a God.  
> EDIT: did you guys know how difficult it is to write two people who don't really have lips kissing?  
> 


	12. 50 Shades of Baby Supplies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a lot of talking going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could it be? I updated after only 3 weeks instead of 2 months? I mean damn son I'm on FIRE
> 
> Trigger warnings for chapter or author notes: rape, unsafe BDSM practices, suicidal thoughts  
> You can shout your headcanons at me at <http://captain-shitpost.tumblr.com/>

“papyrus, roll me over to that shelf, those socks are cute as shit,“ Red called out from the comfort of the shopping cart. Sure he couldn’t lie down comfortably or walk for any longer period of time because of his stomach, and sure his back ached near constantly nowadays, but at least when he wanted to ride in a shopping cart instead of walking, Papyrus put him inside one and let him. He grinned smugly every time he and Sans locked gazes. Sans was forced to walk beside the cart, and he looked so _jealous_.

“you already picked out 10 pairs of socks, do you really need more?” Sans asked, eyeing the space left in the cart. Red could tell he was debating taking all the stuff out, climbing into the cart and then piling the baby things on himself and taking a nap.

“dude, you can never have too many socks, what the fuck. next you’ll tell me the kid doesn’t need 20 chew toys,” Red said, checking over a pair of socks with tiny femurs on them. Into the cart they go.

“I THOUGHT SKELETONS ARE BORN WITH TEETH? WHY WOULD THEY EVEN NEED CHEW TOYS?” Papyrus asked. He had been so excited to go shopping today, and his enthusiastic nagging was the main reason Red was getting the shopping done now instead of 2 days before the due date. That, and the kid gave him a good scare a few days ago when he felt a small contraction. It took Red panicking for a solid 15 minutes and calling Toriel 5 times before she answered and explained what a Braxton Hicks contraction is.

“baby skeletons have teeth when they’re born, but they still need to grow. plus they lose them and grow a second set once they’re older. there’s even a weird tradition about it,” Sans said, shrugging. Papyrus’ eye sockets sparkled in excitement.

“REALLY?? WOWIE!!! I DON’T KNOW MANY SKELETON TRADITIONS!!! WHAT IS IT?”

Red grinned. He knew where this was going. “hey, i remember. you take one of the teeth that fell out, and you put it in a liter of water, and then you put it out overnight.”

Papyrus frowned. “HOW STRANGE! WHY DO YOU DO THAT?”

“cuz then you get a _one-molar solution_ ,” Sans said, a look of satisfaction on his face.

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOUR JOKE AND I STILL KNOW IT WAS A PUN, BROTHER. I SWEAR I WILL TURN THIS CART AROUND AND MARCH US BACK HOME IF THIS GOES ON. DO YOU TWO WANT THAT? DO YOU WANT TO HAVE LUCIDA BORN WITHOUT THEIR NECESSITIES PREPARED FOR THEM? I DON’T REMEMBER DOING ANYTHING TO DESERVE THIS!!!” Papyrus ranted, gesticulating wildly. Wow, he must have been really interested in skeleton traditions. Unfortunately, Red didn’t know any, at least not ones that weren’t just set-ups for jokes. Growing up without parents meant he didn’t know anything about the cultural background of being a skeleton, and Gaster didn’t teach them much about it either.

Red personally never cared much about being a skeleton. It was a mere fact of existence, about as important to him as being left-handed or constantly tired. But he knew Boss was curious as a child about how skeletons used to live, their heritage and customs. He always felt guilty for not being able to tell him anything, and even though he tried to research the information was gone. Not unusual for monsters as rare as them, but it still upset his bro.

He tuned back into the brothers’ conversation half-heartedly, not really following the topic. Listening to them banter, he felt a bit envious of how well the two got along. Boss either ignored or insulted him nowadays, despite protecting him and cleaning after him and in general taking care of him and their house on top of his duties. Red usually avoided going home as long as possible and wasted time at Grillby’s, because at least then Boss had one less thing to worry about and it conveniently helped Red avoid the nagging. And his brother did worry, however well he hid it behind his bitching, and Red never quite figured out why he still bothered with a failure like him. But these two were so obvious about their care, so obvious about their love.

It was difficult, being around them sometimes.

“hey, the onesies are over here,” Sans called, snapping him out of his daze. Red focused on picking out various colours and sizes of teeny-tiny baby outfits, finding a onesie with the writing “bone-ified genius” and a drawing of a skull underneath it and taking four of it. He let Papyrus stick an extremely cute dress in the cart and Sans pick out some pants with beakers on them.

Next came the crib, and they chose a very simple, easy to transport one, but sturdy enough not to get broken easily. Sans and Papyrus also pushed him to get a stroller, despite Red’s reluctance due to its cost, and he picked the one Sans said had a good stability and Papyrus insisted would look amazing with flames painted on. It was also low enough that he would be able to reach the handles no problem.

Next was a plastic tub for washing and shampoo, and apparently Papyrus figured Red had been quiet for long enough, so he smirked at him in a fake casual manner. “SO, TELL ME. HOW ARE THINGS GOING WITH GRILLBY?” he asked, voice lilting teasingly.

Red furrowed deeper into his hoodie to hide his blush. “uh. ok i guess.”

“woah, hold the gushing buddy, i don’t want to hear the lovey-dovey details,” Sans said, snickering. “you’ve been to his place like 6 times by now, and all you can say is ‘ok i guess’?”

Red pouted. “piss off. i mean we’re not-we just. chill, that’s all. talk and shit. watch movies. he’s a big enough nerd that we even read together.”

“THAT’S ALL FAIR AND GOOD, BUT DO YOU SMOOCH???” Papyrus asked with a knowing glint in his eyes. Red felt his entire face heat up.

“you know, that’s kinda private,” he grumbled. Then he grinned smugly. “but yeah, we totally do.”

Papyrus honest to goodness gasped. “W-WOWIE! YOU’VE GOTTEN THE FARTHEST IN THE DATING MANUAL THAN ALL OF US!!! GOOD WORK, RED, I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU!”

“i dated before though, remember?” Sans said, confused.

“OH RIGHT, I FORGO-OH GOD. I’M THE ONLY ONE THAT HASN’T DATED YET,” Papyrus said, horror and anxiety dawning on his face. Sans started sweating nervously.

“uh, come on bro, it’s no big deal. hey, you went on a date with the human once, that counts!” he exclaimed, satisfied that he avoided a crisis. Papyrus, for lack of a better word for someone that didn’t have lips, pouted.

“SANS, THEY WERE TEN. IT ABSOLUTELY DOESN’T COUNT,” he replied sulkily. Sans seemed to be growing upset from Papyrus’ suddenly falling mood, and Red found it hella entertaining.

He was confused though. “wait, you dated a 10-year-old?” Red asked. Papyrus fidgeted.

“WELL, THEY WERE BEING VERY FLIRTY WHILE WE FOUGHT, WHICH IS NOT STRANGE SINCE I WAS SO HEROIC, SO I THOUGHT GOING ON A DATE WOULD BE THE PROPER NEXT STEP??? I JUST COULDN’T BREAK THEIR POOR, TINY SOUL BY REJECTING THEM WHEN THEY HAD SUCH STRONG AND PASSIONATE FEELINGS FOR ME! IT WOULD BE A VERY UNCOOL THING TO DO!” Papyrus exclaimed confidently. For all his posing and bravado though, Red could tell it was bothering him. He sighed, smiling at the tall skeleton.

“look, don’t feel bad about it, alright? dating’s all about luck. some people are lucky and meet someone right for them early, others just…need a bit of time. you’ll meet someone someday,” Red said, offering a grin of solidarity. He can’t say he understood feeling shitty over not dating-after all, he didn’t even consider a serious relationship until he came to this universe-but he knew Papyrus was a treasure and it was only a matter of time until he found someone he liked. Sans nodded.

“i mean, i’m not a dating expert or anything, but he has a point. as long as you keep meeting new people and are open to the idea, you’ll find someone you click with eventually,” he concluded. Papyrus hmmmed and hawwwed a bit more, unconvinced.

“IT’S JUST A BIT FRUSTRATING THAN MY GREATNESS AS A LOVER GOES UNRECOGNIZED. I WOULD MAKE AN EXCELLENT DATE! I AM WARM, CUDDLY AND A MASTER SPAGHETTORE!” he exclaimed, sighing heavily. “OH WELL. I SUPPOSE IF MY SKILLS REMAIN UNRECOGNIZED, I MUST PERSEVERE UNTIL THEY ARE! AFTER ALL, NOTHING LESS COULD BE EXPECTED FROM THE GREAT PAPYRUS!!! NYEH-HEH-HEH!!!”

Red saw a human couple stare at the cackling skeleton and hurriedly push their cart away from them. Pfft, they were assholes anyways. “woah, bro. that was really cool,” Sans said, beaming. Red sniggered.

“yeah, keep up the attitude and you’ll _bone_ in no time,” Red said, ignoring Sans’ head whipping around in an intense glare. Papyrus didn’t seem to get it though, or at the least he pretended not to, so he just grinned back at him.

“YOUR BELIEF IN ME IS, OF COURSE, WELL-FOUNDED! THOUGH I ADMIT I HAVE MY HANDS FULL WITH MY STUDIES, JOB AND MAKING TONS OF COOL, NEW FRIENDS, SO DATING HASN’T BEEN A PRIORITY. I HAVE EVEN PROGRESSED TO EXCHANGING COOKING TIPS WITH ONE OF THE HUMANS IN MY CLASSES! WE HAVE TAKEN THE FIRST STEP ON THE WAY TO BECOMING…BESTIES?!” he said enthusiastically, wheeling the cart towards the toy section. Red tuned out Sans’ questions about his new friend and the flurry of jokes he told once Papyrus mentioned the human was Russian (whatever that was) and focused on the toys. There were so many. All he managed to get for his brother when they were younger was a thrice-ripped and stitched doll and a piece of wood that looked like a bird monster if he squinted.

Papyrus threw himself into the task of finding the perfect plushy companion, and Sans wisely found a blanket and a few toys that made sounds when you shook them. They were all offered to Red for confirmation, and he agreed with their choices. When they went to choose the eighth toy though he decided to put his foot down and complained about the cost, but the brothers seemed offended by the mere suggestion.

“come on, they’re a baby. they’re gonna need a lot of toys,” Sans said, sticking yet another squeaky toy in the cart. Red was starting to feel a bit cramped.

“it-it’s fine, you’re already wasting so much money on me, i know the crib and stroller weren’t cheap! it’ll take years for me to repay you!” Red complained. He suddenly found a very large plush banana stuck in front of him, courtesy of Papyrus who was standing, hands on his hipbones, and was the closest Red ever saw him to honestly glaring.

“RED, YOU ARE BEING QUITE RIDICULOUS! WE OFFERED TO HELP, OF COURSE WE DON’T EXPECT YOU TO PAY US BACK! WE’RE DOING THIS SO BOTH YOU AND THE BABYBONES ARE SAFE AND HAPPY AND BECAUSE IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO!!! WE WON’T GO BANKRUPT FROM IT, AND WE’RE HAPPY TO HELP,” Papyrus concluded, leveling his displeased squint with Red.

“yup. you can get a job once the kid’s grown a bit to get money, but we don’t expect you to pay us back for this. we’re just helping you get back on your feet. what are you gonna do, work when you’re a month away from having the kid and have 1 hp? relax, we got you,” Sans said calmly. Red felt chastised and so touched he felt his eye sockets sting. Thankfully Sans dragged Papyrus to a specific chew toy for his opinion to give Red a moment to collect himself.

Stranded in a shopping cart, surrounded by baby supplies he couldn’t afford yet would still get, and every complaint deflected as if it was absurd that the brothers would be anything less than saintly to him. Red rubbed his sockets, a smaller but more genuine smile than usual on his face. He was not having a breakdown in a store, thank you very much, but he was damn close. He sniffled once before he managed to get his neutral face on and the brothers returned, another 5 toys in their hands.

Was this what a family was supposed to be like?

Emboldened by the brothers’ declaration, after they wheeled him out of the baby store he asked them, quietly and with a blush on his face, to go to the bookshop and get a new cookbook from a famous TV-chef. Sans and Papyrus looked at each other in surprise, Papyrus’ “Nyeh-heh-heh” and wink as he handed it over wrapped making Red’s face hot enough to fry an egg on.

They were just exiting the mall and heading to their car when there was a distant cracking sound, followed by a rumble. Red almost jumped straight out of the cart. It sounded just like that one time there was a cave-in in Waterfall, the one that ended up killing nearly 20 monsters. He felt the vibrations run through his body, making him feel sick.

It was followed by another crack-rumble, and this gave Red pause. His eye light flickered on, bright red from his magic activating, as he tried to figure out what was happening.  He wasn’t underground, so it wasn’t a cave-in. What the hell was making that noise???

Papyrus clicked his tongue in annoyance. “WE’LL BE STUCK DRIVING THROUGH THE STORM IF WE DON’T HURRY. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A BAD ONE.”

Red blinked in incredulity. “a storm? the hell made that noise?!” he exclaimed, freaked out.

“that’s thunder, buddy,” Sans said, calmly clapping his shoulder.

“ _that_ _’s_ thunder?! is it supposed to be that loud?!” Red said, flabbergasted. With the other two acting calm, Red was calming down too, but he was growing more and more confused. Sans laughed.

“surface weather sure is something, huh? you should see a tornado,” he said, holding the cart while Papyrus loaded their purchases in. Red frowned.

“I literally had one in my room, what’s the big deal with them? they’re small swirls of air made by air of different temperatures interacting,” he asked. Sans blinked.

“…uh. how small do you think they are?”

 

 

Red spent the rest of the day and the beginning of his date at Grillby’s place reading about the weather on his phone. He watched about 20 videos of hurricanes and tornados ripping houses apart, startled out of it every now and then by cracks of thunder. Sans assured him he was safe inside, so he stared out of a window whenever there was thunder, watching the arcs of lightning spread across the sky. Then he read about tsunamis, air fronts, different types of clouds. He fell in love with stars when he was a child after Gaster taught him about constellations and their meanings, but it wasn’t until today that he realized the daytime sky was just as magnificent. It didn’t feel endless the way the night sky did, but the sheer force of the storm was astounding.

Grillby chuckled silently when he saw Red staring out the window at the rain pouring down, looking like a kid in front of a candy shop, but not meanly. He must have remembered what it was like seeing a storm like that for the first time. It was even better when he made Red some hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows in it (and warmed sunflower oil for himself) and they both got comfy on the couch, Grillby sprawling over it and Red in between his legs and leaning sideways on his chest, both reading. If Red knew dates could be so effortless, he would have given dating a try before at least.

Grillby was enthusiastically flipping through his new cookbook, writing down notes in the margins. What a nerd. Red thought he was adorable. “you like it? did i get the right one?” he asked, a bit anxious. He knew Grillby liked that chef, but he had never given the other monster a gift before.

Grillby leaned down and planted a kiss on his zygomatic arch. “…I love it. Thank you.”

Red blushed and put his phone in his pocket, then snuggled deeper into the warmth. “i, uh, couldn’t pay for it myself. i’ll buy you one with my own money someday.”

Grillby lightly bonked his head with the book. “You thought of it. That’s enough,” he puffed. He kept his arm around Red as the skeleton leaned over to take one of the books on the coffee table, likely to keep him from falling if he lost his balance. Red was getting used to both people touching him casually and receiving help, so he felt a bit happy to feel that physical show of concern where just a month ago he would have felt insulted. And with his size and screwy center of balance, it wasn’t completely unwarranted.

He looked through the stack of books. He put away two cookbooks, and after a short mental debate put a history book to the side as well. The last book looked kind of like a thriller, so he opened it in the middle. Two characters were in the middle of making out, so he figured he stumbled upon a romantic subplot, but when he opened it in 3 other places he just found more kissing and sex scenes. He was about to toss that one aside as well, until he stumbled on the word ‘crop’ and, lo and behold, there was a lot of bondage and whipping in that particular sex scene. Checking the back of the novel, he realized it was not, in fact, a thriller, but a romance erotica. With BDSM. That Grillby bought.

… _Nice_.

“hey grillbabe, do you usually leave your porn lying around or did you leave it out for me?” he asked, waving the book in Grillby’s face. The flame looked up, confused, right up until he saw the cover and blushed bright blue. Then he smacked his face into the couch and groaned while Red laughed at him.

“…So it _is_ explicit?” Grillby mumbled into the cushions. Red hummed in agreement.

Gently taking the book from Red’s hands, he put it on the table and replaced it with a nice, safe book about child development. Huh. Red saw the psychology and development books Grillby had, so this book probably wasn’t bought solely for his benefit, but it would be a useful read anyways. However, there was something a lot more interesting to talk about right now. “you know, i figured you were a kinky guy, but i didn’t know you were so open about it. figured you would have brought this up only after we’d had sex for a while.”

Grillby rubbed the area between his eyes, blush dying down slowly. “…I wasn’t planning on bringing it up. For a long while, anyways,” he sighed. “…Does it bother you? That I am…interested those things?”

Red pretended to think hard, humming. “I don’t know. i mean, tying you up and teasing you until you can’t take it anymore and start begging? or rolling you onto your stomach and spanking you until you scream for more? oh damn, no, i’ve never even _thought_ about it,” Red exclaimed, sarcasm dripping from his tone. He felt Grillby stiffen under him, back straightening out just a bit.

“…Oh. Um. In that case, good,” he said, voice strained. Red heard the very faint sound of him swallowing. He smirked. He wondered if Grillby was enjoying himself as much as Red was.

“you tried it before, right?” he asked casually, slowly stroking the upper side of Grillby’s hand. Up. Down. Grillby squirmed.

“I-yes.”

“was it with muffet?” he asked. Grillby stiffened, then leaned forward until he could look Red in the eyes, a look of shock on his face.

“How in the hell did you…” he sputtered in surprise. Red just smirked smugly as he stretched.

“i’m just that good, hot shot,” he answered. When Grillby didn’t move after a few seconds, Red looked at him and saw his unamused expression. He chuckled. “okay, so i cheated. the grillby in my world had some kind of hush-hush thing going on with muffet, and by that i mean he disappeared some days and when he came back he was relaxed and had cobwebs stuck to his clothes. i figured maybe you did too at some point. and i talked to her about bondage, so i know she’s into the kinky shit. i’m guessing things didn’t work out between you two, though.”

Grillby frowned before lying back again. “…We had different needs. We were together for a few years, and I was ready for it to be more serious. She wasn’t interested in that, so we broke it off,” he explained. From his tone of voice, Red figured he was over it and not just faking calm. “…So you have done it before?”

“heh, yeah. i slept with this one monster that was into the freaky shit, and i just went with it because why the hell not, but then i realized i actually liked it. and then some other monsters started approaching me because the first one spread the word that i’m not an asshole,” he said quietly. “i mean, if you have those sorts of needs, it ain’t easy to find someone to satisfy them in my universe. some of ‘em told me how they were forced after they were tied down, or how the dom didn’t respect their boundaries or whatever. i guess it was really hard to find someone that wouldn’t take advantage of them.”

Grillby was quiet for a moment, mulling it over. He turned his palm around and held red’s hand, stroking it slowly with his thumb. “…The more I hear about your world, the more it frightens me.”

Red barked out a laugh, not even Grillby’s warmth able to completely quash the bitter undertone. “i know, right? and all the monsters-they’re the same as here. your world could have been the same as mine. and mine could have been so much better, and it wasn’t because…shit, I dunno. bad luck, i guess,” he exclaimed, gesticulating with his arm. “you know how many monsters died every day? how many times my bro almost died? and then i come here and i realize it never had to be that way. it’s such utter and complete _bullshit_.”

Grillby nuzzled the top of his skull, the equivalent of a gentle kiss. He kept his face there, his thumb still stroking Red’s hand until the skeleton’s breathing evened out. “It wasn’t fair. It was a horrible situation. And I know it’s insensitive, but I’m still glad you came out of it,” he mumbled into the bone. Sans rubbed his nasal bones, then chuckled.

“can we get back to talking about sex? cuz i’m getting a bit tired of always ruining conversations.”

Grillby’s chest shuddered in a silent laugh. “As you wish,” he murmured.

Red took a deep breath to center himself, then let it out. “i’ve been meaning to ask you, actually. are you ok with me being pregnant?” he asked nervously, cracking his fingers one by one as a way of fidgeting. “i mean, not just for sex. once the kid’s here, i’m probably gonna be a lousy date since i’ll be tired and busy as hell. and you’ll have to be around a screaming baby pretty much whenever we spend time together. are you…still okay with that?”

Grillby nuzzled his neck. “I knew what to expect going into this relationship. I understand that I won’t be a priority and I’m fine with that. As long as you treat me well when we’re together, I’m fine. And I would be happy to babysit, if it’s needed,” he crackled softly. “…I am…not ready to be considered any sort of parent, though. Not yet. I will care for the child because they are yours and I like children, but I am not comfortable with the responsibility of being a…step parent just yet.”

Red’s eye sockets widened as he turned to stare into Grillby’s eyes. “holy shit grillbz, i don’t expect you to. we’ve been on, like, half a dozen dates, i’m not asking you to be a parent just because we’re a thing. i mean, i’m happy you’re even okay with me having a kid!” he blurted out. Honestly the fact that Grillby even considered being a parent, even if he wasn’t comfortable having that much responsibility yet, warmed Red’s soul.

 “…Good,” Grillby sighed out. “…Now what did you want to talk about sex-wise?”

Red snorted, cheekbones tinting a light red hue. “well, i wanted to say that even though i get a kick out of teasing you, i’m not in any shape to have sex right now. i mean, if we’re going to get freaky i need to have perfect control over myself so things don’t go wrong, and with my magic and body wonking out it’s…maybe better to put it off until the kid’s born. also, i’m not exactly sex on legs right now, i can’t even see my feet,” he complained, absently stroking his ecto-belly. The kid was kicking around a bit, and Grillby hesitantly put his hand next to Red’s, feeling the vibrations. It wasn’t the first time he did it, but he was still unbearably gentle with the way he touched Red.

“…I think you’re plenty attractive right now Red,” Grillby murmured, voice deep and sweet. “But if that’s your wish, I won’t push.”

Red felt a shot of relief (and maybe a shot of something else from his tone of voice) now that he finally asked how Grillby felt about the kid. He knew the elemental must have considered it, he knew full well that Red was pregnant, but Red still assumed that if he brought up the subject Grillby would realize he didn’t want the extra baggage. Thank fuck he didn’t. “alright. also, we need to talk out some ground rules. safe words, hard no’s, all that good stuff.”

Grillby tilted his head in deep thought. “…I used ‘red’ as a safe word before, but I don’t think that’s a good idea for us. And I can’t think of any specific hard no’s, just not to sneak up on me and go slow if I’m on the, um. Receiving end,” he explained, sputtering a bit at the end. “…It’s been a while.”

Red chuckled. “well, not to go against the grain, how about ‘blue’? you know, like a blue attack, you have to stop or you get hurt. that good?” he asked, and Grillby nodded in agreement. Red hummed. “alright. i have a few hard no’s. first, don’t touch the back of my neck without warning. it’s fine if you’re in front of me and i can see you, but if you sneak up to me or you’re behind me i can freak out. second, don’t touch my eye sockets. at all, preferably. and, um. i…i don’t want to do anything involving souls,” he concluded anxiously. He knew how important soul sex was once a relationship got serious, but the idea terrified him. He wanted to give Grillby anything he wished for, especially in the sack since it was one of the few skill sets Red took pride in. But he couldn’t. Maybe one day-but he just couldn’t.

Grillby, for his part, was silent. He circled both of his arms around Red’s belly in a comforting show of solidarity. “Nothing involving souls now, or ever?”

Red shut his eye sockets. He hated disappointing Grillby. “ever. i mean, i might be more open to it someday, but i doubt it. i’m sorry,” he mumbled out guiltily.

Grillby huffed angrily, surprising Red. “Don’t apologize. Everyone has limits, and I will respect yours,” he said and planted a kiss on his teeth.

Red’s breath hitched a bit and he blinked fast enough to chase away the feeling of moisture in his sockets. Huh. That was easy. He told Grillby his limits, he accepted without fanfare, and he didn’t seem like he was breaking it off. _Huh._

He always informed his past partners of his limits, but a few still touched his neck or socket, obviously not having listened to him. It bothered him. He may not have been the vulnerable one in his trysts, but it often felt like the other monster assumed his limits didn’t have to be respected as much. Maybe they thought that, since he was a dom, he could handle anything. That he was invulnerable. And for all that he loved seeming that way in the bedroom, as much as made him feel stronger and in control of his life for a little while, as much as he knew that illusion got his partners excited, he knew better than most just how close he was to breaking at any given moment.

And here Grillby was, acting angry over the mere thought of not respecting boundaries. As if respect and kindness were owed to a person, not something exceptional or to be earned.

How did he get so lucky?

“alrighty then. we got limits and safewords out of the way, so what are you into?” Red hurried to ask before he got emotional _again_. “or should i just guess? i warn you, i’m a very good guesser. people usually don’t like it.”

Grillby raised the flames above his eye in challenge. “You can try.”

Red smirked, turning around to face the flame elemental, kneeling between his legs. He enjoyed the light blue flush on the elemental’s face from the position. Well, if he got the green light to show off, he sure as hell will. “you have strong magic but going by your difficulty speaking, not that much natural control over it. i bet you spent your whole life training so you wouldn’t hurt someone on accident, and you were always tense because you realized how easy it would be. then, one day you had sex with someone-maybe of the spidery persuasion-that made you realize you could give up control for a little while and the other person would be fine. and it was such a _relief_. eventually, you stopped _wanting_ to be tied up and told what to do and started _needing_ it,” he said, almost whispering, letting his voice dip low. He trailed his phalanges up Grillby’s chest, lightly tracing the shapes of the flames underneath.

“you like being teased and denied and hurt because you want to prove yourself to the other person, and because you like working for your rewards. you almost like the teasing more than the actual pleasure, even though you’ll deny it if anyone asks. you wanna be praised when you do a good job, and you like dirty talk. you want to feel like, for a little while, another person has complete control over you. i’m guessing you like gags and humiliation too, to a lesser degree. you know, i bet you fantasized about being tied down, edged until you were screaming and then, when you finally broke down and begged to come, the other person would just lean down and whisper ‘no’ in your ear,” Red explained, hand wandering down Grillby’s stomach, stopping right above what looked suspiciously like a bulge in his dress pants. Oh did Red love it when he had this effect on people. He looked into Grillby’s eyes and was met with barely held-back hunger, raw need, and what shook him the most, challenge. Red chuckled and gave him a kiss on the mouth.

“did you like that?” he murmured, their breaths mingling. “bet you did, but you didn’t move a muscle. good boy.”

Then, with no small amount of satisfaction, he turned around and laid back into Grillby’s chest, cracking open the psychology book as he pretended he didn’t notice Grillby’s fast breathing or the poking in his lower spine. He barely held himself from laughing when Grillby let out a shaky breath and swore.

“…You’ll be the death of me, I can already tell,” Grillby said stiffly, trying to subtly wiggle backwards to leave some space between their pelvises. Red just scooted backwards to follow him, so he soon gave up. “Also, I can’t be into pain if I don’t normally feel it.”

“you can’t feel pain? man. must be a bummer for you.”

Grillby chuckled weakly. “Stabbings I can feel, but any sort of blunt impact just spreads through my flames so I just feel pressure. And water burns like nothing else, of course,” he explained, giving up on propriety and resting his head on the back of the couch, apparently accepting he was poking his pregnant boyfriend with his boner. Heh. _Boner._

“well now you’re just giving me a challenge,” Red said in a sing-song voice. He didn’t have to see Grillby’s face to feel the apprehension in his posture. Since his situation downstairs didn’t calm down though, he figured there was excitement in the mix as well.

He ended up taking both the psychology and smut books home the next morning, and he made sure to send Grillby a very saucy text as thanks. Grillby just replied “There’s no way your texting will turn me on Red, your grammar is awful”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon time. Sans dated an older monster back when he was 16. They met working together in the lab, and it only lasted a month. Afterwards, he only had a single one-night stand, and hasn't dated anyone since. About 3 months after they got to the surface, Toriel asked him out, and while he did have a crush on her (and to this day thinks she's a great lady), he was too afraid. After about 6 months of being on the surface, he had a breakdown-he was suicidal and freaking out, and to this day he never explained to Papyrus why it happened, though he listened to him and got therapy. The resets, his depression, the very idea that he could screw up now because his actions had permanent consequences, watching everyone be happy and not feeling it himself- it all built up until he broke. All he could think of at the moment was 'thank fuck I didn't drag Tori into this', and he already felt guilty for Papyrus seeing it, even if it couldn't be avoided. 
> 
> Nowadays the feeling has passed for both of them, and if either made a move now they'd be rejected. Sans is fine with this, and has even helped Tori make an online dating profile and encouraged her before her dates. But some days he wonders what life would have been like if his mental state was good enough to accept the date. He suspects they would have been happy.
> 
> Anyways, question for this week: favourite pairing. Hoo boy this will be a doozy. Personally I'm fontcest trash, though I only ship Sanses with Papyruses from the same AU, but I especially love papcest and sanscest. Of the non-AU, incestual weird pairings, I like Sansby (duh), Sanster, Grillster and I'm...mostly cool with Soriel? I mean I'm not super into it but it seems almost canon to me (I'm just not into it because Toriel reminds me of my grandma so I don't want to imagine her getting nasty). Also my fave pairing is Sans x me because I'm filth. He's just so short and stocky and has a stupid sense of humour and a troll and he's a skeleton. He meets all my standards!
> 
> Also my beta is amused by Red constantly ruining conversations with depressing thoughts. In her words, "*flirt flirt* *partner gets turned on* *red emo mode activates*"


	13. Storyteller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which Red is sad, Sans gets angry and the only thing straight about Grillby is his tie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REAL TALK: if you have any triggers, most of which are listed in the tags, head on down to the end notes. It has the trigger warnings and a chapter summary. Stay safe y'all.
> 
> Hot damn this is the longest chapter I've ever written. 16 pages in Word, not bad. Also, this is one of the chapters that I really looked forward to writing. I had so much fun! :D
> 
> Gently scream your frustrations at me at <http://captain-shitpost.tumblr.com/>

Red had no idea what Sans did with his keys, but nearly every time they left the house he had to go search for them. So far he found them in the pet rock’s fishbowl, in the fridge, three times in Papyrus’ room despite almost never going there, once in Papyrus’ jacket, and once underneath Red’s pillow. Red was pretty sure it was some kind of elaborate prank, but he was unsure who exactly Sans was pranking. So he sat at the kitchen table while Sans hunted down his damn keys, sipping orange juice and wincing at the kid’s energetic kicks, entertainment right in front of him in the form of Papyrus puffing and panting, trying to open a jar of pickles.

“NYEH!!!” he exclaimed, flinging the jar into the air with offended fury. It landed on the couch, bounced twice and thankfully didn’t fall to the floor. “I DON’T UNDERSTAND, THIS IS THE THIRD JAR I COULDN’T OPEN TODAY!!! DID I REALLY LOSE ALL MY MUSCLE???”

Red smiled, relaxed and amused. He vaguely recalled a bunch of jars, super glue and Sans together at one point. The only thing that could open them now was nail polish remover and a crowbar. “weird. maybe you need to train more.”

“THAT’S WHAT UNDYNE SAID WHEN I EXPLAINED MY SITUATION!!! SHE SAYS SHE’S DOUBLING MY WEIGHT TRAINING UNTIL I CAN OPEN THESE JARS INTO SUBMISSION. I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS HAPPENED!” he groaned, defeated. Red was trying very, very hard not to burst out laughing.

“you’re in a bit of a pickle, huh?” he said, laughing as Papyrus groaned louder and smacked his face into the table, not even deigning to answer.

“HOW CAN I MAKE FRIENDSHIP SANDWICHES FOR MY NEW HUMAN FRIEND IF I DON’T HAVE PICKLES? THERE WILL BE NOTHING TO ACCENTUATE THE TASTE OF THE HAM!!!” he exclaimed, sulking into the desk. Apparently his new human friend invited him over to bake cupcakes, and the taller skeleton had been in a tizzy all day. It was nice, seeing him excited like this.

Red took a deep breath. He didn’t want to ruin things, but… “papyrus? can i ask you to do something?”

Papyrus lifted his head to look at him. “OF COURSE! WHAT IS IT?”

“…be careful with your new friend, alright? i know you’re excited, but with the murders going on, you being alone with a strange human…i worry. and sans isn’t going to say it, but he worries too,” Red said seriously.

Papyrus blinked, then sat up straight, expression sober. “I KNOW NOT ALL HUMANS…LIKE MONSTERS VERY MUCH AT FIRST. BUT! THERE ARE MANY VERY COOL HUMANS! WHO WOULD LIKE TO BE FRIENDS WITH US. AND I THINK THEY DESERVE THE CHANCE!!! I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU TWO WORRY, BUT MY NEW FRIEND IS VERY NICE AND HAS HELPED ME IN MY COOKING ENDEAVOURS BEFORE! SO I TRUST HIM, AND I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT HE MEANS ME NO HARM!” he concluded. Figures the guy would be trusting of people even when all that crap was happening.

“hey, you can make your own decisions, you’re an adult. just stay safe, yeah?” Red said, a melancholic smile on his face. Papyrus beamed in confidence and nodded, moving onto his fourth jar of pickles.

Sans finally entered the room 5 minutes later, keys in hand. “garage,” he merely explained as he held out his hand. Red was impressed. He was pretty sure Sans had never gone to the garage in as long as he’d been in this universe.

With a cheerful goodbye they took a shortcut to the front of Grillby’s, Red holding onto Sans’ shoulder to keep his balance. With a mere two weeks before the due date, staying upright was becoming a problem. He was like a giant skeletal pill bug. Sans had way too much fun yesterday poking him on the couch until he fell over. Red almost bit him, right before tattling to Papyrus and getting him in trouble. Sometimes he worried about how someone like him would raise a child.

They entered the bar, the familiarity of the greetings and smells soothing Red’s disposition. The moment the door shut he looked straight at Grillby, his normal smile stretching wider for a moment. With a sense of wonder, he saw that Grillby smiled right back, as if his mere presence made him happy. The asshole white-haired human was sitting at the bar so he didn’t bother walking up to it to greet him, instead going straight to an empty booth, almost moaning at the relief in his legs.

With the baby’s appearance fast approaching, he was exhausted, sleep deprived and unusually cranky all day, every day. He knew he could be abrasive at the best of times, but usually he could put a lid on it when he needed to. Two days ago, he snapped and actually yelled at Papyrus when the well-meaning skeleton nagged him for not eating right. Then he immediately started crying out of guilt. Papyrus thankfully didn’t take it personally and merely hugged him until he calmed down, but Sans nope’d right out as soon as the waterworks started. He couldn’t blame him, he didn’t know how to handle emotional messes either.

He fondly remembered the time before his pregnancy when he hadn’t cried in front of anyone for over 10 years. He was really skewing the average here.

A few minutes later, Grillby finished serving the customers and walked up to them, mustard in one hand and shepherd’s pie in the other. Grillby had insisted for as long as they’ve been dating on Red eating things other than burgers and fries. For the most part he convinced him (tasty food was tasty food, regardless of its healthiness), but these last few days he could only eat a few bites at a time, so Grillby switched back to making unhealthy food in an effort to get him to eat enough calories. Red felt a bit guilty over worrying him like that, but the fire monster could be hard to dissuade once he decided to take care of someone.

“How are you, Red?” Grillby asked with a smile, setting the meal down. Red just gave him a thumbs up and a wink before he attacked his meal. Meanwhile, Sans grouched.

“geez, i don’t even get a hello from you anymore, grillbz. not exactly a warm welcome,” he said, attempting to relax so hard into his seat he’d melt. “what, do i have to start flirting with you too to get service? if you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber.”

“shut up sans. you’re either smooth or you’re not, you can’t force it.” Red snickered, flicking Sans’ forehead. “And get your crummy fingers off my man, there’s only space for one bone in that town.”

Sans blushed and sputtered a bit at the insinuation, while Grillby, who was apparently developing a tolerance for the stupid shit that came out of Red’s mouth, glared at him and only went a little blue in the cheeks. Sans looked from Grillby’s glare to Red’s smug grin, back at Grillby again, then went to sit with the Dogs with a curt “goodbye”, away from their romantic shenanigans.

Grillby raised his eyebrow, conveying Was that really necessary? without a single word. Red laughed. “what? his fault he can’t handle the heat.”

Grillby ignored him for the next hour for that joke. Red had a great time napping at the table, the chair pretty comfy and his back about as comfortable as it could get. He was really glad he could sleep sitting upright, lying down was destroying his spine. Once he woke up he realized his empty dishes were replaced with a glass of squeezed carrot juice and Grillby had started checking in on him again, like the worried mother hen that he was. Sans was in the middle of a poker game, only Greater Dog still keeping up with him. Finally, with the last rounds ordered, Grillby found the time to take off his apron and sit down, brushing the back of his fingers across Red’s zygomatic arch. Red fought down his blush. He would never admit it unless he was 100% sure he was alone with Grillbz, but the little touches really got to him. He was just so unused to casual physical affection that he felt like melting every time Grillby brushed him with his fingers and smiled at him. He threw a quick look around the bar, and once he saw nobody was staring at them he leaned into Grillby’s palm. His flames shuddered silently in amusement.

“Enjoying yourself?” Grillby asked teasingly, spreading his fingers until his thumb was brushing his face. Red grinned.

“can you blame me? you’re so hot,” he snickered, feeling more than hearing Grillby’s answering hum.

“…So many punny compliments, so little actual action. One could even call you a tease,” Grillby implied with an arched eyebrow, voice low and warm. Red chuckled and waited a moment until the fire monster was just about to say something, then grabbed his bowtie and yanked him down, his ear at the level of Red’s mouth. He heard Grillby sputter in surprise.

“i thought you wanted me to play nice, but if you want me to be bad all you have to do is ask,” Red rumbled, almost brushing the side of Grillby’s face with his mouth, the flames tickling his nasal cavity. He saw the fire elemental try and get his bearing together after being pulled off-center like that, and felt a thrill over the sense of power it gave him. When Grillby tried to straighten up from the uncomfortable position, he only tightened his hold to keep him in place until he stopped struggling. Until he submitted, his mind supplied. “tease, honestly. one day i’ll show you what a real tease is.”

Then as suddenly as he grabbed it, Red released the bowtie, Grillby straightening up and swaying a bit from the sudden release. Red messed with the tie and his vest until they were straight, patting the taller man lightly on the top of his sternum. “i gotta say, bowties are adorable on you. bet you’d look real sexy in a tie too, though.”

He was rewarded with a look of shock and arousal on Grillby’s face, the monster still trying to figure out what just happened. Easiest way to get someone to listen to you was to catch them off-guard. And when that person got off on listening to others, well that was the ideal combination. He ignored the loud wolf-whistle coming from the dog table. Well, someone was bound to see them, he figured. At least they saw that instead of the cutesy cuddling.

With the patrons slowly leaving, Grillby had to get up and clean the bar, leaving behind a warm spot on the chair that Red scooted to, his own spot soon covered by Sans’ bony butt shortcutting there. Sans still seemed a bit uncomfortable with their public displays of affection, but he would just have to suck it up and deal with it.

While Grillby was cleaning, the two skeletons talked about their day, Sans’ work and Red’s foray into modern literature, eventually talking about Papyrus as they often did. Red had gone on a tangent about the time his brother talked shit to a bunch of teenagers at the tender age of 5 when Grillby joined them, sandwiching Red between himself and the other skeleton, frowning at the idea of a child knowing swears like that. Red laughed at the memory, remembering how funny his bro was as a kid, acting tough when he still had a baby lisp.

Sans was smiling at the story, but Red noticed his smile was just a touch too tame for him to be paying all his attention to it. He shut up and let Sans have his turn, waiting for him to string his words together as he played with his glass.

Finally, Sans looked up, trepidation on his face. “hey, can i ask you kind of a personal question?”

Uh oh. In Red’s experience, sentences like that never went anywhere good. “uh…sure? i’ll tell you to fuck off if i don’t want to answer though.”

Sans snorted, relieved. Red couldn’t figure out what about his reply was relieving, but whatever. “what’s exactly going on with you and your bro? because the stuff you tell me is…really contradictory.”

Red felt a cold chill run down his spine. He figured someone would eventually ask him what the deal was directly, considering how much he danced around the subject of his distant relationship with Boss, but he still wasn’t ready. He doubted he’d ever be ready. So he opened his mouth to give one of his usual half-assed lies or maybe just empty reassurance, and then stopped.

These weren’t nosy regulars at the old Grillby, trying to get new gossip. They weren’t malicious monsters trying to find his weak spot, seeing if their relationship was something that could be exploited. No. These were his friend, his real friend unlike most he’d had, and his boyfriend, both of whom cared for and respected him. And he’d be lying to their faces.

He wasn’t stupid. Sans played his cards close, so he’d accept a lie and back off for a while, but eventually his curiosity would rear its head again. And Grillby had made it very clear early on that he demanded honesty in their relationship. He didn’t want to lie to him, to either of them really. So he would tell them he wasn’t ready to talk about it, and they would respect that.

He looked at his hand, cracking his fingers. They would respect his wishes and leave him alone because they cared for him. The two cared for him a great deal, for whatever reason, and that put him in a very new position. Because nobody who cared about him, who he trusted, had ever asked him that before. And telling someone the worst of you was very different when it was someone you trusted. Different in that it was an option.

He knew Sans and Grillby were giving each other looks over his head, but he ignored them, tracing the grain of wood on the table. He could tell them. If he did, they wouldn’t use it as a weapon against him. But there was no way they wouldn’t be disgusted. They’d realize just what kind of person they cared about and they’d leave him. Actually, that was a good reason to tell them. Red cared about them. It wasn’t right to inflict himself on them, lying to them about what he was so he wouldn’t be alone. They deserved better. They deserved to know about him, so they could decide if they wanted him or not. He felt numb.

“alright, i’ll tell you,” he said, voice distant and clear. Sans looked at him in surprise, and Grillby in encouragement. “but i’ll only talk about it once. it’s…kind of a long story, so can i get another juice?”

 

_He’d been awake for…he wasn't actually sure. Pretty long, going by how his empty stomach hurt. He vaguely remembered being hungry before, but now the hunger passed and he just felt tired and stiff. He hadn't changed clothes in at least two days either, which meant he hadn't been home it at least that long. And that meant he hadn't seen Papyrus in two days. He should go home and check on him sometime soon._

_He felt an anxiety attack creeping on him at the thought. If he went to check on him, Papyrus would ask him what he was doing all the time and throw a fit. They already fought once, he didn’t have it in him to fight again. He’d demand Sans take a break he couldn’t afford, he’d ask directly for food and indirectly for affection and his attention and-_

_And he couldn’t do it. His work was the only thing keeping him functioning. If he was working on getting…whoever they were back, that meant he didn’t have time to face the fact that he was now 16 years old, with one HP and caring for a child in a world where “kill, or be killed” was a way of life. Unless he really was insane, and that person never existed, and he really had been caring for Papyrus his whole life._

_But if he had, why would he feel like he was missing someone important? And why would he suddenly feel utterly terrified over raising a child? He took care of Papyrus when he was younger-only six years old. Why was it so much worse now?_

_Maybe because he had no idea what a babybones needed back then. He childishly thought as long as Papyrus had food and clothes he would be fine. Stars, the amount of times he left his brother alone as a baby to go scavenge and steal food, leaving him ripe for stealing by slavers or being dusted for easy EXP gave him the shivers when he thought about it. How the hell would he protect him?! He had only 1 HP now, he was scared of dying, he was 16._

_He wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t ready for this at all. If only he could bring G-them back, he would be fine. He didn’t know why he felt like he was grieving, everything would be fine! It would all go back to how it was! Someone else, a real adult, would care for his brother the way he deserves to be cared for, and he could be a good brother and still be a child, not a parent._

_He dropped the pencil he was using to scribble equations on coffee-stained paper and rubbed his eye sockets. He would bring h-them back. They existed. He wasn’t just escaping responsibility. If he just brought them back, everything would be-_

_“Would you look at that. Little monsterling is playing at work.”_

_Before he could even react to the sudden voice, he felt sharp claws on the back of his cervical vertebrae. He froze up, cursing internally. God, how stupid was he to get caught off-guard?! Sure he hadn’t slept in ages, but he was usually more observant than this!_

_The claws stayed in place, but the monster let him turn around slowly, then forced him to his knees. He saw a bunny monster standing in front of him, looking down on him with a malicious grin. He remembered him as an assistant, always sneering at him for his age and talking shit behind his back in jealousy. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a green scaly arm pressing claws into his neck, recognizing it as the green lizard that worked on the soul and DT projects right up until he squeezed her out, qualifying as better than her at a mere 14 years of age. As far as he knew, she’d been demoted from second-in-command to a mere assistant. “Put your hands behind your head where I can see ‘em, shitstick,” she growled into his ear hole. “I can dust you before you even lift a finger to summon those blasters.”_

_He hesitated for a second before obeying. She was right. She obviously had killing intent and that was enough for a scratch to be lethal for him. His only option for now was to wait for an opening. He looked into the face of the bunny monster as he laughed at his compliance._

_“Hah! Look at how obedient he is! A proper yes-man! Is that how you got your position? Did the higher-ups tell you to blow them so you did?” the monster mocked, using a tone of voice one would to poke fun of an upset child. Sans couldn’t kill him first, the lizard would dust him as soon as the dust settled. Dusting her first was risky though-she was both really close and really fast, from what he remembered of her personal assessments. Damn he wished he could take a shortcut at will. He’d been playing with them, trying to get some semblance of control over the power and last week he almost did one on purpose, but in the end he still couldn’t._

_He felt furry fingers grip his jaw painfully, tilting his face to meet the eyes of a livid rabbit. “Hey cocksucker, you listening?! You think you can afford to space out?!”_

_He was mad. Truly pissed-off, actually, and maybe not thinking straight from exhaustion. So despite knowing he was being an idiot, he grinned widely. “what, i’m listening. it’s a hare-y situation after all. dunno why you two are so mad at me though, if you weren’t shit at your jobs you wouldn’t be outranked by a 16-year old.”_

_His head was violently shoved downwards by a hairy paw, the rabbit monster snarling. However, behind him he heard the lizard chuckle, disturbingly happy, and that was the first moment in this entire interaction that he felt a pang of dread in his soul._

_“You know, I can’t remember how you got to this position. And worse, I can’t remember why I didn’t wipe that smug grin off your face ages ago,” she giggled. Then she hooked the tips of her claws into the tops of his eye sockets and tilted his head up. He couldn’t suppress the shiver from the gross feeling of something being in his sockets, and he hoped they didn’t notice. “Come on, Marty, we don’t have all day.”_

_The rabbit monster’s expression of anger changed into sadistic glee, looking him straight in his eyes as he slowly undid his belt._

_Fuck, he should have expected this. The monster was already half-hard, his cock peeking out of its sheath, pink from his excitement and intimidating. He looked at it, then made eye contact with the rabbit monster again as he stroked himself to firmness, not wanting to appear scared, killing the small dick joke on his tongue before he said it. He wasn’t scared. He really wasn’t. Maybe if he kept saying it he’d feel it, too._

_The lizard monster moved her hand somehow until she managed to shove a claw between his teeth, making him sputter in surprise. She muttered curses. “Hurry up, asshole. Put your cock to good use instead of banging the cleaning lady.”_

_“Fuck, get off my dick, I’m doing it. And don’t even think I’m sticking my cock into his mouth. Did you see his fucking teeth?!” he gasped out, sentence trailing into a moan. His cock was at full mast now, the tip glistening. Red flinched when the rabbit stepped closer, trying to remember what a neutral face felt like._

_The lizard giggled. “Stick it in his eye socket, that way he won’t bite,” she said in a coquette fashion. She leaned down to his ear hole, her breath tickling his cheek. “You think I didn’t notice how you flinched when I touched your socket? I sure hope it was because it felt nice, otherwise you’re not gonna have a good time, airhead.”_

_He didn’t even have time to retort anything, because as soon as he took a breath to cuss her out he felt the rabbit’s member thrust into his socket, a jolt of panic running through his skull as his eye lights reflexively flickered out. In one swift movement the monster bottomed out, then kept still._

_It took a few second for the shock to give way to nausea. Oh stars, this was really happening. His socket felt overstuffed, his magic flowing into it to push the obstruction out and failing, just making it feel worse, he tried to get it away from there because it made it worse and he felt it more but he couldn’t focus on anything other than that feeling of painful, personal intrusion._

_The bunny monster drew out and pushed back in, adjusting to the feeling. Sans gagged as the sensation seemed to short-circuit into his stomach, causing saliva to pool in his mouth as he struggled not to dry heave. It felt so wrong, he felt his entire body screaming that it’s wrong, it’s unnatural, get it out get it out-_

_He whimpered as the rabbit started moving, both monsters above him laughing at the sound. “Ohh, not so tough now, big guy. Look how nicely you’re taking my cock,” the rabbit cooed. “Bet you wanted it for a while.”_

_The thrusts started getting harder, sharp pangs of pain and discomfort making his magic squirm and knot up, until finally he threw up magic, dry heaving as the onslaught of sensation didn’t stop and the monsters above him mocked him for it._

_It went on for what felt like an eternity. He was starting to work through the sensation, getting his heaving and disgust under control and focusing on other thoughts, at first his brother but, not wanting to taint those memories, he worked through the equations waiting on his desk, carefully and methodically, pretending his body was rocking back and forth from being on the Riverperson’s boat, waves rolling him gently as he thought over a new theory on his way home. He felt dirty, humiliated and so lonely, but he shut his other socket and thought about his equations or he knew he’d break down. He wouldn’t cry. They would ruin his body and they would make him ashamed of himself, but his pride latched onto the idea. Even if they messed him up, he wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of crying or begging._

_The rabbit clicked his tongue, Sans’ focus snapping instinctively to the sound instead of the equations. “I think the little cocksucker likes it too much. He’s not even crying,” he spit out, pulling out of his socket entirely just to jam his cock back in vigorously, causing a fresh jolt of nausea. “And it feels like shit, I can’t come like this.”_

_The lizard hummed behind him, a shiver running down his spine at the sound. He was more afraid of her than the rabbit fucking him. He was cruel, but he could tell the lizard was more...inventive. “Well, guess we just have to make him feel better until he reacts, right?”_

_He felt her claws scrape away from his sockets and against his skull, too lightly to damage but a clear threat nonetheless. He trembled silently in trepidation as he tried to figure out what would happen, spine unnaturally straight from the cock his skull was hanging from, and the moment his tension eased up he felt his chest cavity empty, like his soul was punched out of his ribcage._

_He felt the tingle of his own magic behind his head, the lizard holding his soul without touching it. The rabbit monster laughed at it, mocking the cracks, the dull colour. He couldn’t understand more than a few words, a buzzing muffling his sense of hearing. He was overpowered today, used as a toy, but the thought that he could still hold onto his dignity kept him from struggling. Now though? He was panicking._

_“no, please no,” he warbled, humiliation burning his face when he couldn’t hide a sniffle. He knew somewhere in the back of his mind that showing weakness like this was a bad idea, but he couldn’t stop himself, they were touching him. Everything that he was, in her cruel hands. The rabbit smiled wider, satisfaction on his face and sadistic glee in his eyes, and started thrusting again, rubbing the surrounding bone raw._

_He felt a sensation of being touched across his whole body, not exactly physically, and he sobbed out, knowing the lizard just touched his soul. She touched his essence, all that he was. It wasn’t hers to touch or see. He’d never even shown his soul before, to anyone. She could feel what he was feeling, his fear, his hopelessness, his guilt and sadness and emptiness, and he couldn’t hide it behind a smile. He had never felt so exposed and vulnerable in his life._

_The rabbit started thrusting more quickly, helped by the slickness of his tears as he sobbed in humiliation. The lizard started stroking his soul, the slow but harsh scrapes of her claws gouging tracts into his soul, not enough to dust him but enough for him to hope she’d slip up and sink them in too deeply and stop this already._

_The stroking sped up, and to his dawning horror he felt his magic reacting, flowing faster, humming in anticipation and need to be touched, coalescing in his pelvis and the only point of contact he had with the other monster. She rubbed the tip of his soul, and with a rush magic built up in his socket, sensitive and throbbing, the abrasion of the cock slicked down with his magic, sending slow pangs of nauseating pleasure to his summoned mound. His own body felt like it was betraying him._

_“Hah, hah, look at this little slut, he summoned a pussy! You’re one sick freak, getting off on being raped!” the rabbit growled out with a smile, light moans and sighs interrupting the squelching noises filling the room. A well-aimed thrust tickled the deepest part of his socket, and to his horror he moaned._

_“Figures, I knew you slept your way to the top. Must have taken so much dick you broke, that’s why you’re like this,” the lizard tittered, dragging multiple claws down his soul. He couldn’t stop his pelvis from rocking, tears and snot running down his face, sobbing and moaning and whimpering, no longer able to care about how tough he looked. He just wanted them to stop. He just wanted to go home._

_The pressure in his pelvis kept building, the touches on his bone and magic pushing him along, and with a final stroke to his soul he felt an orgasm ripple through him against his will, tingles spreading to his toes and his face, feeling the clenching and gushing of liquids in his summoned pussy as he sobbed out in relief. The lizard was laughing at him, getting louder once he started dry-heaving again in horror of what he had just done._

_The rabbit was pistoning in and out, panting in exertion, and Sans tried to move away as the pain of overstimulation panged through his skull now that the pleasure wasn’t distracting him. With a few more whispered pleas, the rabbit’s pace stuttered, slamming brutally hard into his socket and stilling there with a groan, the feeling of fluid filling his socket making him gasp in discomfort. The monster rested for a moment before pulling out, his now softening cock looking less threatening, almost comical in its flaccidity, making Sans choke out a disturbed laugh. He felt unclean._

_The lizard removed her claws from his neck and he collapsed onto his hands, his legs shaking violently and refusing to hold him up properly. There was a distant thought in his mind about it being important that she let him go, but he couldn’t remember why._

_It was strange. Just a little while ago he felt pain and panic, but now it was like a switch was flipped and he couldn’t really feel anything apart from the liquid dripping out of his socket and the emptiness inside his ribcage. It was like he was floating outside his body, an outsider looking in with detached interest. The two monsters were mocking him, he could tell by their voices, but their words were white noise._

_He tried to sit upright, but his limbs weren’t really listening. It took another two tries to get him to sit up straight and look up, seeing the lizard above him laughing at his slow, clumsy movements and blank expression and the way cum slowly dripped from his socket, still holding her claws around his soul. The rabbit was telling him they should do this again some time, that if he knew how slutty he was he would have raped him months ago, and all he could do was stare, his body numb and his mind blanking._

_His attention snapped to a sudden knocking on the door, the two monsters in front of him turning jerkily to it. “Sans? Are y-you still here, you lazy ass?!” the voice called out, the hesitant yet smug timber making him recognize it as Alphys. The two monsters looked at each other in a panic, frozen in place._

_The door swung open to reveal the short, yellow lizard, and he could see her expression drop from feigned haughtiness into confusion, then into slow horror as she took in the scene, first the two monsters standing still in front of her, then the mess of a skeleton on the floor, then the soul still clutched in the other lizard’s claws. The lizard squawked, dropping the soul as she scrambled to explain herself._

_“It’s not what it looks like! We just-”_

_With a flick of his fingers, he summoned blasters, barely a moment between the floating skulls appearing and blasting the lizard to dust, his soul gently pushed away by the blast wave, like a leaf on rippling water. The rabbit made a dash to the door, but before he got anywhere near it a pair of bones stabbed him through his femurs, making him drop heavily to the floor. He only had time to groan and change his expression to one of terror before the blasters dusted him too._

_The room was suddenly deathly silent, Alphys holding her breath, claws covering her mouth and dust falling gently to the floor. It reminded Sans of the forest outside Snowdin when the snow was falling and the blanket of white muffled all noises until it felt like you were alone in the world._

_It was surprisingly hard to try standing when he couldn’t really feel his legs. What he could feel was the slight damp spot on his shorts and the cum dripping down his face and into his mouth. He clenched his teeth before he could taste it, taking off his lab coat and scrubbing harshly at his face, trying to scrape the offending liquid out of his socket, the pain from the oversensitive bone not really registering as a signal to stop._

_He heard several inhales as Alphys tried to speak and failed, and when he was done scrubbing he limped to the wall so he could hold himself up, then walked slowly to the door, legs wobbling. As he was passing Alphys, she shifted to face him and let him pass through the door, pity on her face. He shoved his lab coat into her arms._

_“i quit,” he whispered, voice raspy from his earlier pleading and coming dangerously close to weepy, then left the lab._

_He wasn’t completely sure how he was walking. It felt like he wasn’t really controlling his legs since he couldn’t quite feel them, but it wasn’t until he was halfway through Waterfall that he realized he could have taken the Riverperson’s boat. Thankfully it was so late there were few monsters out, as outside of the capital most stayed indoors in the dead of night._

_He was still scratching the inside of his eye socket. Just when he thought he got everything out and put his hand down, he’d feel like there was more inside. It itched, made his bones crawl, knowing that the filth was inside him, dirtying him. With a vigorous scratch, he felt a sudden release of pressure as liquid came out, cursing as he realized he really didn’t get it all, scratching mechanically away. Only after passing a light crystal did he notice the liquid was red and smelled of metal and memories. Huh. The rabbit monster’s cum was white, wasn’t it? Weird._

_He felt the crunch of snow underneath his feet, heralding his arrival to Snowdin. The sound was soothing as he wondered why he couldn’t remember most of his walk. He absently bent over to wash his hands with the snow next to his front door, remembering he couldn’t let Papyrus see him filthy. He rubbed some snow on his face too for good measure, then rubbed it off with his shirt._

_The click of the front door was loud in the stillness of the house. He carefully took his shoes off, as was his habit to prevent Papyrus from complaining about tracking snow in the house, then turned to the stairs leading to his room. He heard a sudden shuffling coming from the couch and froze, activating his magic and summoning it to his hands, thoughts of please no, no more today running through his head._

_“Sans?” came the high-pitched voice, slurred from sleep. He relaxed his posture, letting his magic peter out. It was just Papyrus. Nobody would hurt him. He dusted the ones who hurt him. He was safe now._

_“SANS, YOU-WHERE WERE YOU THIS LONG?! YOU HAVEN’T BEEN HOME IN TWO DAYS!!!” Papyrus shouted, voice gaining volume as he woke up and his tone turned from confusion to anger. Sans flinched at the sudden noise, the anger in his brother’s voice making him think of the rabbit monster. It was just his baby brother, loud as ever. It was nothing._

_“I’M HUNGRY, I ATE ALL THE BREAD THIS MORNING AND THERE’S NOTHING ELSE TO EAT IN THE HOUSE AND I WAS SCARED TO GO TO THE STORE, YOU SAID I SHOULD NEVER GO OUT ALONE! AND YOU DIDN’T CALL TO SAY YOU’D BE GONE! WHERE ARE YOU ALL THE TIME, YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE WITH ME!” he squeaked, and Sans felt a rush of guilt at the tears pooling in his brother’s eye sockets, the warble in his voice, the way he was acting angry to hide his hurt. He couldn’t believe he tried to run away from him. He’d buy him a cinnamon bunny tomorrow as an apology, fuck knows he deserved one. But right now, he just needed to lie down. He needed a moment alone to gather himself._

_“heh. sorry bro, got hung up at work. we’ll go shopping tomorrow so go back to sleep,” he said quietly, his soul breaking at the sight of his bro grown enough to try and act tough. Hell, was Papyrus taller than him now? When did that happen?_

_His brother gasped as he tried to turn to the stairs. “WH- SANS I WAS WORRIED, YOU WERE GONE FOR SO LONG AND WHEN I CALLED YOU DIDN’T ANSWER, I THOUGHT-”_

_“sorry, my phone died. come on bro, i’m bone tired, let’s talk in the morning,” Sans groaned, trying hard to look sleepy, trying to remember how his face worked when he couldn’t feel it at the moment. He had never felt more awake in his life, and he knew he wouldn’t sleep tonight (maybe the rest of the week too) but he needed to be alone, in his room, in the quiet. He just needed a break before he broke completely._

_“NO, WE’RE NOT TALKING IN THE MORNING! I THOUGHT YOU DUSTED, I WAS WAITING HERE ALL DAY FOR YOU AND THEN YOU COME HOME WITH NO EXPLANATION!!! YOU ONLY HAVE 1 HP, DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I WAS?! WHAT THE HELL, BROTHER!” Papyrus screeched, and Sans stood still for a moment, then simply turned away to walk to his room. He couldn’t deal with this tonight, he was done, and he wanted to quit before he snapped and yelled at his brother. Papyrus stopped his rant for a moment when he realized his older brother just coldly ignored him, and then he reached out to grab Sans back by the collar of his shirt, phalanges brushing his neck._

_Something broke completely in Sans. He felt the scrape of claws on his neck, heard only white noise and mockery of his very essence, and he couldn’t take it again, he couldn’t go through this again today HE WOULD NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN-_

_“let me go let me go LET ME GO, DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!!!” he screamed, his face hot, throwing his magic at his attacker, pushing them away until he heard them hit a wall, throwing a slew of bones in their direction. He couldn’t see anything through his tears but all he could feel was the static of terror inside his chest cavity and hear whispers, “you deserved it you wanted it look at how much you’re enjoying it”._

_He cut off his magic but he couldn’t stop screaming, stopping only when he almost collapsed and he realized he wasn’t breathing, he hurriedly gulped down air, one two three breathe just like he was taught to do, waiting until the static he felt slowly receded and he could feel himself, feel the clothes on his body, feel the warmth of tears on his cheekbones. The rapist wasn’t touching him any more, he was safe, nobody was hurting him._

_Another few breaths and his breathing started calming down, the pulsing of his magic slowing. He felt a sense of confusion, of some conclusion just out of his reach tug at his awareness. He killed the monsters already, didn’t he? They couldn’t harm him anymore. Who attacked him again?_

_He blinked a few times, focusing on the monster leaning on the wall, bone attacks sticking out of the wall around them. A sound was picking its way into his awareness, and he recognized it as hysterical crying coming from the monster on the ground, red dripping from a crack across their socket. Socket? Yes, it was a skeleton. He only knew two-no, one skeleton. His brother Papyrus._

_He felt a sensation of his insides dropping, a sense of rising horror, but he couldn’t figure out why. There was something wrong with this picture. Why was Papyrus crying? He should check what was wrong. He walked closer to the skeleton crumpled on the ground, stopping two steps in front of him. He needed new clothes-his dress had a large hole on the side, and it was dusty and had red stains. The stains were growing bigger right at this moment, too. Strange._

_His brother was crying so hard he was gasping for air, curled up into a ball, except for his hands which rubbed at his sockets, spreading the red liquid over his face. Sans looked at him for a moment, not really registering what was happening._

_“bro? are you alright?” he asked lightly, the scratchiness in his throat almost making him cough. His brother’s head snapped up, sockets wide open and eye lights blown wide, staring at him completely frozen. He raised his hand, and Papyrus flinched, breath hitching. He looked terrified. Why was he scared? Why was he looking at him like that, as if he was…_

_He backtracked. It was just the two of them when he got home earlier. There were no other monsters in the house. Nobody came in and attacked him. He was sure he attacked someone. He stared at his brother, blinking as his eye lights flickered on. Work harder, head, there was a connection there. He attacked someone earlier. Papyrus was hurt. He attacked someone and his brother was hurt. He hurt his brother._

_He. He hurt his brother. He hurt his little brother. His baby bro._

_He was going to be sick._

_“fuck. fuck, oh my stars, paps i’m so sorry, i didn’t-” he pleaded in panic and reached out, but with a shriek his little brother ducked to the side, stumbling on his cracked femur as he tried to scramble away on all fours, one hand clutching his socket. Sans turned to watch his brother run upstairs, swaying left to right from his wounds, and shut himself in his room, his door locking with a click of finality. A few moments later, he heard inconsolable sobbing start in the room, loud wails ringing down the hallway and to the living room where Sans stood._

_He dropped his arm as if he was a puppet with its strings cut, gasping in air as his breathing picked back up, slamming the front door open and running out, getting as far as the shed before his stomach rolled right over and he dry heaved, only his stomach being emptied before saving him from vomiting. He was cramping up there for he couldn’t tell how long, dizzy and heaving until finally his body stopped, letting him slump to the ground exhausted. He felt a bubble of something in the depth of his chest clawing its way out, and he had no idea if when it broke out it would break out as a magic blast to the trees, as grabbing a stone to smash his face in with, as more tears, as more screaming, as nothing but cold silence. It kept growing, multiplying underneath his bones, a mass too big for his body smashing its way out no matter how much he kept it in, afraid of what shape it would take when it erupted._

_When it did come out, it came out in the form of laughter._

_The next two weeks Papyrus locked himself in his room or ran out of the house at the smallest sign of his older brother, avoiding him completely. The first time they ran into each other was when they both went into the kitchen to get food, and for the first time since their fight (the first time since Sans’ abuse) he looked his brother in the eyes. His baby brother’s expression had never been so cold before, and his eye lights had turned a deep red, the colour of loneliness._

 

Red wasn’t sure if the bar really was dead silent or the slight ringing in his ear holes muted all the ambient noise. He stared at the glass he was holding too tightly, focusing on its edge, following the  curve od it with his eye lights, once, twice, three times, until he stopped counting. Anything not to look up into their eyes and see the cold judgement in them. Or would it be disgust in Grillby’s, that he touched something as ruined as him? Or maybe rage for Sans over how badly he treated his brother?

He twitched a bit as the glass cracked in his hand, thankfully not breaking completely. Whoops. He must be really stressed if he didn’t have a handle on his strength like this. The problem with his disassociations was that he knew from the way his body reacted that he was feeling a whole lot of something, but he couldn’t process the emotion itself. Made it a lot harder to figure out what’s going on and how to stop it.

Grillby’s hand touched his, Red realizing after a few seconds that he was trying to pry the glass out of his phalanges. It took him a few seconds to work out how to get his body moving properly, but he managed to suddenly let go of the glass, watching it wobble and fall over, rolling on the table until it bumped Sans’ arm. He gripped his hands together so tightly his joints popped and his hands shook slightly from the force. He felt that damn feeling of something being stuck in his socket, but he knew there was nothing there. There was _nothing there_. Come on, he knew he had no control over himself, but how abnormal was he if he couldn’t even stop himself from mauling his own face?

Grillby lay his hand gently on top of his, grip strong enough to be grounding. It was a gesture of warmth and affection, but Red refused to look up into his eyes. He couldn’t trust the touch. There was no way he could care about Red with what he knew about him now.

His thumb stroked his joints, a way of showing he was there for him with every second Grillby did it instead of pulling away. Red felt tears start pooling in his sockets. Does he dare hope? He didn’t want to, it just made it so much worse when the hope was shattered, but beneath his self-loathing and guilt he secretly hoped, when he dared to, that someone would look past the hate he deserved and care for him anyways, regardless of how unworthy he was. When he sniffed pathetically and felt heat gather in the corners of his sockets, Grillby’s finger wiped it away, before he was enveloped in a fiery hug.

Red felt hot, burning shame and relief as he sobbed into his boyfriend’s chest, feeling distantly guilty about ruining his vest and even more so ashamed of crying like this. He used to never cry in front of others before, or even alone. It wasted magic, it was loud, messy, useless, and it left him feeling even emptier than before. But for the first time, he realized that maybe the point of crying was to have someone hold him until things got better.

It could have been anywhere between a minute or half an hour that Red spent crying before his sobbing slowed down to sniffles and hiccups, but eventually he quieted and let his rigid, aching spine relax as Grillby stroked his back in slow circles, crackling unintelligible murmurs into his ear. Reluctant to move but wanting to maintain some semblance of his shattered dignity, he leaned back and wiped his face with his sleeve. Grillby quietly ‘tsk’-ed at the sight, pulling a napkin from its holder on the table and giving it to him. Red took it and ignored it, continuing to use his sleeve as he turned to face the table again, not quite brave enough to turn to look at Sans fully. He took a deep breath to get himself together again, sniffed once and blinked twice, then pushed his smile a bit wider. “so, uh. yeah. that’s the story of how i physically abused my brother and broke his soul.”

The silence was just as loud as it was before his outburst, but it felt less oppressive knowing that Grillby still found Red tolerable enough to comfort him. He might still break it off, but at least with how calm he was acting they may be on speaking terms afterwards. Sans was still completely silent and had been throughout his entire story and outburst, and Red really wished he’d say something already. He’d even rather be coldly shamed and insulted, because he’d weather it and get hurt and it would be over, at least. The suspense was just making him imagine the worst-case scenarios.

Sans shifted and Red’s eye lights flickered to his face quickly. Sans looked like he was barely keeping his own eye lights on, and he had an expression of careful, forced neutrality. The kind of face Red made when he wanted to hide himself when he physically couldn’t. Red’s gaze settled somewhere around his neck, not able to maintain eye contact. He hesitated a moment before pushing his back into Grillby’s side, chasing a bit of comfort from the disapproval of his friend (or should he call him brother?). The fire monster wrapped his arm around him in support.

Sans carefully tilted his glass, obviously thinking. Grillby seemed to have said what he wanted to say with his touch and was content staying quiet. Red learned how to read Grillby when the elemental wouldn’t speak early on. He wasn’t pulling away or acting disgusted at all, and no matter how much Red tried to remind himself not to hope it seemed that, for all his worrying, Grillby accepted all of him. So all Red was waiting for was Sans’ verdict. He idly thought it felt like the walk to the guillotine, and immediately chided himself for his dramatics.

Sans pushed his glass away, ignoring the finger of scotch still in it. Then he sighed, leaning his face into his hands and rubbing his sockets before he straightened out and turned to look at him, an impossible to read expression on his face.

“i…i don’t know what to say, red. i’m sorry,” he mumbled, glancing to the side. Red swallowed past the lump in his throat, feeling his irritation rise and latching onto it instead of his hurt.

“saying whether i can still stay with you and papyrus might be a good idea,” he snapped bitterly. He knew he had no right to be mad at Sans no matter what he decided, but he felt insecure and hurt and he needed the buffer. Normally he’d scream at himself internally over his treatment of his counterpart, but he felt if he didn’t fight back he’d shatter into slivers of glass.

Sans frowned deeply, then leaned on his hand, sighing in defeat. “i’m not kicking you out red, jeez. we’re friends, it’s gonna take a lot more than that to get me to kick you out. i don’t kick my family out to the streets,” he said looking at the table, a frustrated sort of expression on his face.

Red growled quietly. “look, i know i’m gross and a horrible brother and it’s difficult being around me, so don’t bother acting like you’re okay with it. just…fucking kick me out if you don’t want me around your bro, don’t fucking pity me,” he snarled, feeling Grillby’s arm tighten its hold. Why was he even getting mad at Sans? The guy just called him family, why did he feel this need to lash out until Sans realized what a bad decision he was making? Why couldn’t he act normal for once in his damn life?!

“i’m not fucking-” Sans snapped, then took a deep breath to calm down. “I don’t pity you, red. you’re a champ for taking all the crap you did and surviving it. and-and i’m so sorry all that happened to you, it wasn’t right, and i wish shit like that never happened to anyone, and i get it, alright? that’s what’s messing with me. i get it, maybe not completely, but i can imagine myself reacting like that and that means that maybe i’d hurt papyrus like that too, and-i didn’t think i’d be capable of hurting him like that. that i…that i could actually hurt my brother like that,” he said quietly, his voice trailing into a whisper. It was the most upset Red had ever heard him.

Red snorted. “no you wouldn’t. cuz you’re a decent person.”

“you are too red, fuck!” Sans cried out, his voice ringing a bit in the empty bar. A detached part of Red’s mind noted that Sans was oddly impressive when he was screaming. “will you please stop acting like you’re the scum of the earth and you deserve all the crap that happened to you?! because you don’t! nobody fucking does! nobody deserves to live most of their fucking lives trying to just survive your world, nobody deserves to be fucking soul raped, and nobody deserves to be so hurt and afraid and alone that they’d lash out and hurt the one person they love the most!

“i don’t like that you hurt your brother, it think it’s really fucked up! but i know you didn’t mean it, and maybe it wasn’t all your fault. maybe someone should have been there for you to make sure you’re all right and give you space after you were hurt like that, instead of you having to go home and take care of a scared kid while dealing with shock after being fucking raped and grieving for your god damned father figure at the same time! i know you’re still going to hate yourself and it doesn’t change that you hurt him, but fucking anyone would have snapped! it was just…a shitload of bad luck, alright? it was bad luck, not you being bad.”

“how the fuck am i supposed to believe that?!” Red yelled, not sure anymore if his face was hot because he was angry or because he was near crying. “my brother still doesn’t talk to me. he only stays in the same house cuz of some…sense of obligation or whatever. i hurt him, you know? i broke the soul of someone i promised to protect. nothing can make that okay. and no matter what fucking justification i make up, it doesn’t change the fact that i’m the reason his soul cracked.”

“is he even still mad at you for that?” Sans asked, voice clipped. Red froze mid-snarl, trying to follow the new line of conversation.

“…what?”

“my bro can’t hold a grudge, you know. at all. he stops being mad as soon as you apologize or realize your mistake. i mean, does your brother honestly hate you for it now? you said he protects you and cooks and cleans after you. that just…doesn’t sound like the actions of someone that hates you.”

“how the hell could he forgive me for that?! I can’t forgive myself for that, and i hurt him!” Red yelled, fighting down the urge to throw a bone attack at Sans. Why was he still yelling at him? The only person who deserved to receive the brunt of his temper was himself.

“sometimes it’s easier to forgive the person who hurt you than for that person to forgive themselves,” Sans muttered, looking decidedly through the table. ”the thing is, you can’t go back and change it. that’s not how it works. but you could try and rebuild something with your bro. i mean, for all you know, your brother forgave you and frankly doesn’t give a damn about it anymore. did you ever talk to him about it?”

“…i never even apologized,” Red said, calm and quiet and crystal clear.

“wait, wha-”

“sorry if i didn’t want to talk about the worst night of my fucking life, sans. there was no point in a half-assed apology where i wouldn’t explain why i did it and i just couldn’t fucking deal with talking about it, alright?! and it’s not like it would have made things okay anyways.”

Grillby made a light crackling noise, indicating he cleared his throat. “You hurt your brother on accident, Red. That doesn’t make you an irredeemable villain. It just means you need to try to make amends. And…I’m sure he would like an explanation. It’s not as fresh for you now, so maybe you could tell him if you felt ready. I may not know your brother, but knowing Papyrus he might even feel guilty, thinking it was something he did that provoked it. An apology might be enough for you two to start making amends. Nothing will change between you two if you keep pretending it never happened. Someone has to make the first step.”

Red kept quiet. He wanted to say it was never that easy, that he was just scum and that would never change, but Grillby was right as he always was. Even if he was scum, even if Boss refused to deal with him anymore, he owed him an explanation. And he owed his brother an offer to come to this universe where monsters were on the surface, where he wouldn’t be forced to fight and kill to make a difference. Even if his brother refused to live near him and went off on his own once he got here, he still deserved the chance. His brother deserved the world. The least he could give him was this.

Red formed a basic timeline in his head, planning his next moves in order to minimize casualties. It helped to keep his mind off the fact that he couldn’t tell what he was feeling, except aimless anger and emptiness. “once the kid’s born, i want to go see my bro. see if he wants to come live here. or at least talk to him and apologize. alright?”

Sans smiled at him, too tired to make it genuine. “and if you go, i’ll go with you. i got your back.”

“Me as well,” Grillby crackled.

“uh, no offense hot stuff, but universe hopping involves a lot of passing through the Void and staying there for uncertain periods of time. i’m not sure you could handle that,” Red said, the corner of his mouth twitching in a trace of honest amusement. It felt like years since the last time he smiled.

“…You better stay alive until you return then, because I am perfectly willing to go on an interuniversal journey just to throw a fireball in your face in case you die,” Grillby explained. “And when you return, I’ll be here.”

Red blushed bright red. Well. He never really forgot that his boyfriend was incredible, but he was still reminded of it right now. Sans coughed in embarrassment at the line, but bumped Red’s shoulder lightly, letting him know he was there.

How did someone like Red deserved people like this in his life, he’ll never understand. The monsterling pulsed with happy magic, showing their joy at their mother’s happiness before going still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Rape, insults, death, PTSD, disassociation, skull fucking, soul rape, domestic abuse, physical abuse, self-loathing, self-harm
> 
> Chapter summary: Papyrus has a new human friend. Red and Sans go to Grillby's and hang out, Red is a flirty ass, then he tells them about why his relationship with his brother is bad. He was skull and soul raped at the age of 16, causing him to disassociate and attack his brother because he thought it was an enemy. The betrayal caused UF Papyrus' soul to crack, and Red never forgave himself for it. Grillby and Sans still accept him, though. The assault caused him to have disassociative episodes during which he often scratches at his socket.
> 
> Red's backstory was HEAVILY inspired by AngeliaDark's fic ["Full Circle"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6092586/chapters/13964976), so give it a read if you like.
> 
> Headcanon time: Gaster hadn't seen another skeleton in decades before the skelebros. There were other skeletons that ended up Underground, cousins thrice removed or other distant relatives, but he lost contact with them and with how cruel this world was he thought they had died out. One day, he was walking down the streets of New Home when he heard yelling, and a cry for help. His curiosity took over and he was strong enough not to be afraid of ambush, so he went to investigate.  
> He saw a 5-year-old skeleton shaking an older one, trying to wake him up. The older one wasn't moving. When Gaster approached, the little one tried to fight him off, but they were held back by hands made of magic. When he checked the older skeleton, he saw that he would fall down soon due to hunger. Amazingly, the younger one was almost perfectly healthy and fed.  
> His second thought was "I can use them for my experiments". His first thought was "They're skeletons too". He hadn't had a family in so long. He'd never had children. He knew it was a bad idea to take them in, so he told himself it was only for the sake of gaining knowledge. It didn't manage to stop him from caring. It never lessened the deep pride he felt, watching them grow.  
> In those last moments before he was shattered, he hoped he'd raised them strong enough to survive.


	14. y'all thought i was dead well u thought wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red has Revelations that he intentionally ignores and also monsters dying is a thing which is Not Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have been gone for a while. Mostly it was end-of-the-year exams taking up my time and energy (I'm not messing around here I had trouble keeping up with basic hygene and nutrition I was not up for writing), then my cousin came to the country and he for a full weeks stuck to me the way old chewing gum sticks to asphalt (have you ever had a 7yo that has literally spent every waking moment with you, hits you and bangs on the bathroom door so you'd get out sooner whenever you go take a leak? I don't recommend it). After which I finally got 2 weeks off and I was so dead I decided to screw everything and rest instead of writing as planned. So, uh. Sorry :(  
> And I still have 2 exams rn. I probably have undiagnosed ADHD. I could have been a hairdresser I don't need this crap in my life (no I couldn't I would suck at it)  
> But anyways I just wanted to say you people have been such an amazing support and I love each and every one of you that read this fic and left a kudos or comment. Those comments have been re-read by your truly 10+ times and I still love them. This piece of shit fic that I'm proud of is close to a thousand kudos, and it couldn't have been done without y'all. So thank you.
> 
> Anyways [this is the song for this chapter.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7fzkqLozwA)  
> Come find me on my [tumblr.](http://captain-shitpost.tumblr.com/)

Red woke up to the smell of eggs, bacon and smoke. The smoke part shocked him into full awareness before he realized that he was in Grillby's bed and calmed down. He snuggled into the pillow and inhaled, the scent of smoke and bar food filling his nasal aperture. He didn’t think he’d get any sleep after dredging up memories yesterday, but oddly enough he got a full night of sleep with no interruptions in the form of nightmares. It might have had something to do with the elemental relenting to Red’s stuttered plea to sleep next to him. He knew he fell asleep wrapped in a set of strong, warm arms, and he vaguely remembered them holding him through the night.

He listened to Grillby clatter in the kitchen, debating getting up before he snorted and rolled over. Yeah, like that was happening. Just as he was drifting off again he heard the door creak open, shifting firelight illuminating the room.

“…Red?” Grillby whispered. Red turned around and tried to greet him, yawning widely instead. With a chuckle, Grillby pushed the door open and walked in, setting a breakfast tray on the bedside table so he could open the blinds. He rudely ignored Red’s hiss of outrage. Sunlight provided, he sat on the bed, letting Red scoot over slowly to make room before leaning on the headboard and setting up the tray. “…I made breakfast.”

“never stop spoiling me, grillbabe,” Red snickered, then with a large amount of effort pulled himself upright. Stars, he felt huge. At this point he was absolutely done being pregnant. He wasn’t even afraid of labour anymore; if anything, he was begging for its sweet release from his ecto-skeletal prison.

Grillby had made croissants, along with coffee and juice. Red had a feeling that if skeletons could get fat he would have been huge by now, but to be fair he wouldn’t care even if he did. The food was worth it, definitely. He gave Grillby a nuzzle on the cheek in thanks before tucking in, smiling at the fresh taste of the croissants. They even had jam inside.

They were quiet as they ate, Red enjoying the taste of freshly baked food and the quiet crackling of his boyfriend sitting next to him, leaning on him lightly. He figured he’d never get used to having as much food as he wanted and having it all be delicious. Even after he became a sentry and Papyrus joined the Guard there were rations every couple of months, forcing them to count every bite. With the lack of free, fertile ground and the fear of being robbed, farmers were scarce, even ignoring the fact that crops didn’t thrive underground. Everyone went hungry sometimes, but with their jobs Red went hungry less often than some.

Fucking hell, did he feel rich having fancy pastries for breakfast every day. Somewhere on his third croissant, he felt a warm arm wrap around his back, lower than it usually wound around him, as if it was avoiding his neck.

Red suddenly felt less hungry, but he forced himself to finish his food, hating the idea of leaving leftovers. He gave his plates for Grillby to put away, then scooted just a bit further away from him while he was occupied.

If Grillby noticed the sudden distance, he didn’t say a thing. He just looked at Red, waiting for what he had to say. So Red played with the edges of the blanket, trying to get the courage to talk, distantly enjoying how much warmer his bed was now. A minute later, he sighed and looked to the side. “are we okay?”

Grillby tilted his head in confusion, so Red continued. “i mean, the shit i said yesterday at the bar. it was kind of…messed up, in a lot of ways. i wanted to know if it bothers you.”

Grillby seemed somewhere between confused and worried. “Why would it bother me?”

“I mean, you didn’t act like it bothered you yesterday, but i’m…i know you don’t like it when i talk like this, but…” Red took a deep breath, ”…i’m just a shitty person, alright? i did some really horrible things, and not just to my brother, though fuck knows that was messed up. i mean, i killed monsters. i killed a lot of them…some as a job, some in self-defense, and some just cuz they pissed me off. i stole, i lied, i _still_ lie, and not always because i have no other choice. i just…you always act like you’re ok with it. how can you be okay with all of that?” he muttered. He hated when he felt tired so soon after waking up. “how can you be okay with all of me?”

Grillby cocked his head to the side, brows furrowed. He started to say something, then stopped, then tried again. It went on like this for a while until he finally answered: “…Some of the things you did was because you had to. Some were mistakes. I understand that. _Nobody_ is perfect, Red. Everybody did things they’re not proud of. Everybody hides things,” Grillby said wistfully, absently touching his sternum. “I killed people too, during the war. Humans died and lost their homes in my fires for purely strategic reasons. Soldiers and civilians. I killed monsters that fought for the human side before the humans turned on them. I have done things that have labeled me a demon by the human armies. The worst thing I was ever called in my life was ‘Hellfire’, and monsters thought I was _proud_ of it,” he spit out. Bitterness didn’t suit the elemental, but it also kind of fit him. As if bitterness used to be second nature to him for a long time.

Grillby leveled his gaze at Red. “Am I supposed to live the rest of my life hating myself? Thinking I should never be happy because I don’t deserve it? Expecting everyone else to hate me? I know where you’re coming from. I truly do. But that’s no way to live. I hope you realize that.”

Red looked at him, a feeling of something stuck where his throat would be. Grillby looked tired. Sometimes Red forgot just how old he was. “…Not everything you did is your fault, Red. Even if it was, I personally believe that as long as you try to be a better person and try to make up for the things you did that it’s fine. And I happen to like the person you are now. The one that fights for his family and feels guilty for hurting others. The one that doesn’t give up,” he said, smile stretching across his face. “…The one that acts like the happiest monster in the world just because I made him breakfast.”

Red sighed, smile wide and not quite right. “thanks for the pep talk, babe. but not hating yourself is easier to say than to do.”

Grillby smiled somberly, running the backs of his finger over Red’s zygomatic arch. “…I know. It takes years of trying. Maybe a lifetime of trying. And the things you did never really stop crawling on your back. But you know what you did wrong and you’re trying to be better. I’m proud of you for that.”

Red laughed. “me, trying? that doesn’t sound right.”

Grillby smiled, then spread his arms in invitation. With a chuckle, Red relented and let him hug him. Damn his boyfriend was cuddly. He’ll never complain about it in his life. “…You’ll get there. You may feel guilty for it, but maybe you want to not feel guilty anymore,” he said, planting a kiss on the top of his skull. “If you need it, I’ll try and help.”

Red snuggled into his chest. “this helps, grillby. it helps a lot. thanks.”

Grillby hummed, nuzzling his skull. It was a quiet moment, Grillby’s chest moving with his breaths lulling him into drowsiness. Red wondered idly why Grillby even breathed. As long as his flames were exposed, shouldn’t he technically not have to inhale air? Then again, he was a skeleton and he breathed. Maybe he shouldn’t think too hard about it.

“…What did you do before yesterday? We haven’t seen each other in a while,” Grillby asked quietly. Red could appreciate the change in topics.

“eh, nothing special. got the baby clothes ready. went to another check-up. read your fucking porn book. it’s so bad, grillbz, i genuinely hate it and usually i love stuff this shitty,” Red said with a grimace. “like, i’m always up for movies and books so bad it becomes funny, and this fits the bill, but it kinda bothers me that some idiot could read it and think bondage and shit works like that. but it’s also just genuinely awful. i could write better and i’ve got a three-year-old’s grasp on grammar.”

Grillby’s body shuddered in laughter. “You really think you can write better?”

“yup,” Red said, popping the ‘p’, “and i say that knowing full well you’ve seen my texting. i mean, it fails as a love story and even more as porn. i’d rather use pornhub, and pornhub is shit.”

Grillby shuddered harder, making a sound suspiciously like a snort. “Do it.”

Red blinked in confusion. “huh?”

“Do it. Write a BDSM porn book the same way you text. Please do it,” Grillby said, voice shaking with restrained laughter. Red looked him straight in the eye in puzzlement, but then he slowly smiled.

“oh you sexy, sexy, old-i mean _mature_ man, spank me with your fucking diamond-studded bank statement, extreme wealth is my kink. _ok babe, i_ _’m gonna spank you so hard you_ _’ll be catapulted 149.6 million km into the sun and i throw out a hip. send nudes_ ,” he said, making sure to do the voices. Grillby snorted louder this time, letting go of him to roll to the side and smash his face into the pillow and shudder in laughter. Red leaned on his forearms, whispering right into his ear. “oh yes daddy, talk money to me.”

“ _Please don_ _’t say daddy_ ,” Grillby barely choked out, snorting too hard to talk right. Holy shit, Grillby snorted when he laughed. It was so gross. This was the best thing that happened to Red all week.

“does this get you hot and bothered, babe? is my dirty talk working? i’ll take some notes,” Red drawled, snuggling up to his boyfriend’s shaking back and spooning him, at least as much as someone as pregnant as he was could. He felt the rumble of Grillby’s laughter on his ribcage and he thought suddenly that life could be really good sometimes. He waited for Grillby to slowly calm down, enjoying his fast breathing gently rocking him as he recovered from his fit. He nuzzled the back of his neck and sniffled as the flames tickled his nasal aperture.

He’d never felt this way with another monster before. He’d had crushes before, sure, had a few flings here and there, way too many one-night stands, but it was never this...big. It never felt like this heavy warmth that filled up his entire body. He couldn’t remember the last time he had someone he trusted with his darkest secrets. It had been years since he had someone that could brighten his day just by walking into the room. This was the happiest and most terrified he’d felt in a very long time.

He’d been dating this man for barely 2 months and he knew this feeling had a specific word for it, maybe not meeting it quite yet, but growing into its shape. His mind was screaming at him. It was too early, _way_ too early to feel so strongly about someone. You couldn’t really know someone in so little time. You shouldn’t trust someone with all that you were after a few months. You shouldn’t trust anyone, not really. That’s how you ended up alone on the street with all your things next to you, heartbroken and bruised at 3 o’clock in the morning. But the smallest voice, coming somewhere from the bottom of his soul, barely strong enough to be heard over his fear, knew exactly what this growing feeling was. And it was singing.

For a second he inhaled, fighting against the words trying to slip off his tongue. Grillby turned around to look at him, finally calmed down and oblivious to his inner turmoil. His eyes crinkled as he smiled.

Red looked him in the eyes, and something in them told him Grillby already had an inkling of what he felt. He let out the breath he’d been holding, then smiled wide enough for his cheekbones to hurt. They had time. He was safe, he wouldn’t die tomorrow, and they had time for Red to slowly lose his fear. He lent forward and gave him a clink on the mouth.

 

 

The bar was emptying out for the evening, which made it kind of weird that Sans was sitting next to him in the booth instead of at the bar or even with the other patrons. It set him on edge, especially since things were a bit tense after their talk yesterday, but Red had a vague feeling that he was sitting so close to make a point. Possibly the point that he knew what Red did and was still willing to sit close enough to touch him. Red side-eyed him, then nudged him lightly with his elbow. Sans’ smile stretched as he nudged him back, a little higher to avoid his belly, right before he stole a fry from his plate. Red relaxed. Seems things were going back to normal.

Grillby was darting around, serving the last rounds before he started aggressively wiping down tables; a not-so-subtle sign that it was time for the customers to leave. The drunk rabbit giggled and said something to Grillby, most likely a pick-up line since she was blinking the way that someone who didn’t know how to wink did. Grillby pretty much ignored her as her friend caught her under the arm and dragged her away with a fond, exhasperated look. Red was starting to suspect that, despite the rabbit’s flirting, the two ladies were a thing. Good for them.

The white-haired human that sat on the counter was the last to leave. They seemed cheerful enough when they waved goodbye, but their smile had an edge Red didn’t like. He didn’t know if it was that hint of hostility and superiority Red picked up talking to them before, the fact that they were human or both, but they were unsettling.

Grillby put the empty glasses he collected in the sink behind the bar top, then came to sit at their table. Red beamed at him, smiling wider when he heard Sans making a disgusted noise. Fuck him and his single ass, Red was allowed to feel happy for once in his life. Right? Right.

Grillby sighed in exhaustion as he sat down. Seems it was a difficult day, what with him closing on time for once instead of an hour late. Red hoped it wasn’t because he kept him up last night. Whatever it was, he was glad the guy was taking it easy. If he learned anything about the fire elemental while dating him, it was that he was prone to working until someone physically stopped him.

Red slid his half-eaten plate of fries towards the elemental, even though he knew Grillby would refuse. Apparently he had to be careful of what he ate, or his flames would act up and he’d get sick. More for him, anyways.

“…grillbz? can I be completely honest with ya?” Red asked, looking at the door while chewing on a now cold fry. Grillby looked up at him and slowly nodded. “that human creeps the shit outta me. i really don’t like talking crap about your friends, but geez. is that normal for humans or something?”

Grillby cocked his head, thinking. “…Perhaps not. Rabbit can be a bit…odd if you’re not used to it. Then again, they’re not human from a technical standpoint.”

Sans choked a bit on his drink. “what do you mean, not human? they sure aren’t a monster.”

Grillby hummed in amusement. “…Your generation wouldn’t know, but they’re the child of a monster and a human. Most of their kind died out long ago, so you never would have met them. They’re perhaps the only one still around from before the war.”

“wait, what?! I didn’t even know monsters and humans could have kids!” Red exclaimed, brow bones raised. Grillby grabbed a fry and ate it, as he often did after refusing them.

“They weren’t very common even when monsters and humans lived alongside each other, but it wasn’t exactly rare to meet one. Certain monster types got along with humans well, like most mammalian monsters or even elementals. There were many interspecies couples before things went south,” Grillby crackled, leaning on his hand. “In their case, their father was one of the last light elementals to exist. We fought together during the war. A general like me. His kind nearly went extinct even before the war, and the very few that got to the underground fell down soon after. They couldn’t thrive in the darkness. Rabbit’s mother…she was quiet, but kind. Made jewelry, I think. Had about 4 kids. Nice family.”

Sans whistled. “so a human and a monster have a human kid? heh, weird. it’s only a matter of time before they start popping up again though. loads of monsters are dating humans now.”

Grillby shook his head. “…All children of such couples are monsters. They all have monster souls and use monster magic. Some will look like humans, but still they have monster souls. I don’t know why it happens.”

“it kind of makes sense,” Red drawled, chewing on his straw. “i mean, monsters need magic from two parents to be made, and humans have magic. they can’t all use it but it’s there, right? but humans need, like, physical matter and shit to be made, and monsters can’t give that, since we’re piles of magic and dust.”

“guess that makes sense,” Sans said. “so they basically look human but are a light elemental? and can use magic attacks?”

Grillby nodded. “…I forgot about that, but yes, they should be able to do magic. Magic attacks are usually inherited from the parents, so they most likely make balls of light than explode in concentric patterns, star-shaped blasts, beams of concentrated magic. Common for their type. His siblings did too, but they looked like monsters, so they got dragged into the war. Rabbit got spared because they were so young.”

Sans froze suddenly. Red looked at him to see what was wrong and saw his eye lights flicker once, then dim down. “what was that last part again?”

“That they were spared?” Grillby asked, straightening back up. Sans chuckled, strained.

“no, about his bullets. what was the last thing you mentioned?” Sans said, browbones furrowed in an intense look.

“Hum. Beams of concentrated magic?” Grillby mumbled, trying to remember.

“and the killed monsters-how were they killed?” Sans asked, wide, forced grin on his face. Red frowned in thought, thinking back to the conversation they had months ago. When he remembered, he felt a bead of sweat condense on his forehead. Oh. Oh damn. Well this was a mystery he kind of hoped they’d solve but was losing hope for acquiring an answer for.

At Grillby’s baffled look, Red chuckled nervously. “uh. they were killed by magic beams. we, uh, talked about that. weren’t you there when sans was explaining this shit?”

“I-I forgot they even could do magic attacks until you asked, I completely forgot their father could do those-I fucked up. I can’t believe I didn’t…” Grillby said, flames starting to flutter violently. Red caught a flash of hurt in his eyes. Guilt. Betrayal. “They wouldn’t do that. Half their family was monsters. They grew up with monsters. Why the hell would they join a monster hate group?”

Sans swore, jumping out of his seat. “well they’re also the only real suspect we’ve had in months. i gotta catch him.” he said, Red feeling the tingle of a shortcut down his spine. He tried grabbing his arm before he disappeared, but the moment passed and he only grasped air. He swore under his breath, then looked at Grillby. His shoulders slumped, his flames were low and dark. He’d never seen the elemental look so sad before. He knew he was blaming himself for not stopping the murders. It hurt his soul to see him like this.

 “come on, we gotta follow him,” Red said, shambling off the barstool. Grillby shook his head for a moment, then with a deep, steadying breath he grabbed Red’s hand. Red squeezed it in support.

“…Are you sure you should be making shortcuts?” Grillby asked quietly, voice strained.

“well i sure as fuck can’t run after them. what do you want to do, induce me?” Red snorted. Grillby just glared at him.

“…Maybe you should stay behind,” he said sternly.

“no dice, grillbabe. we’re in this together,” Red stated, smiling. Grillby flashed a quick half-smile and surprised him with a hug, warm arms wrapping around his neck. Red buried his face into his collarbone and inhaled the scent of smoke for a moment, then drew his magic to him.

Grillby’s flames shivered violently when the shortcut ended, the cold wrapping around Red’s bones again as he let go. They were in one of the narrow alleys, straying from the main roads northeast where the human-monster-hybrid- _whatever_ headed after they exited. Somewhere in the same direction a buzzing sound synonymous with blasters was coming from, as well as the crashing sounds of battle. Grillby seemed torn between sprinting there and sticking to Red who was trying not to breathe too heavily. Thankfully he stuck around and kept a hand on Red’s shoulder, slowly walking towards the commotion. Hopefully Sans could handle things on his own until they got there.

It seemed Red had missed the mark a bit, because after 2 minutes they were still wandering around lost, the noises of battle taunting them. Grillby’s anxiety was rapidly growing into panic going by the increasing frequency of his breathing, and Red could tell he would snap if they didn’t find the battle soon. Thankfully, a clue came in the form of a dropped cellphone they found near a trash can. When Grillby picked it up, the screen showed the last call made: to contact name “Weaver”. Grillby looked at Red in confusion. Red sighed. “She’s one of the human mages. The one that warned me about you.”

Grillby visibly deflated. Guess he still had hopes that his friend wasn’t the killer, but the evidence was starting to pile up. Red could only squeeze his hand in solidarity.

They kept going until they heard a scream of rage, closely followed by a beam of light blasting from around the corner that Red knew wasn’t from Sans’ blaster. The magic was a similar white colour, but it didn’t feel like pure magic-it had just enough light mixed in that he couldn’t feel it in his teeth. Grillby motioned for Red to stay behind, then crept towards the corner. Red slunk behind a nearby dumpster, hiding from the commotion. He didn’t like being left behind, but he wasn’t stupid enough to get anywhere near that kind of firepower while as knocked up as he was.

He watched Grillby observe the battle, creating half a dozen fireballs and keeping them steady, control flawless. After a volley of light balls whizzed past him and burst, he turned around the corner, fast as a whip, and threw a slew of fire at what must have been Rabbit standing in front of him.

With his boyfriend and Sans outnumbering the human, he heard more outraged cries from them back in his hiding spot. Red was quietly grateful that the duo was okay with using number advantages instead of insisting on a fair fight. He didn’t want the two to take any chances with what was basically a mass-murderer.

He listened to the buzzing of blasters and crackling of fire as he sat on the dirty floor, nodding off from his magic depletion. Even the kid settled down these last few days, possibly due to how cramped they were, and their kicks weren’t keeping him up anymore. It felt like he just closed his sockets for a moment, but he was snapped into consciousness by Grillby gently shaking his shoulder. He yawned as Grillby hoisted him upright, grinning at the strain that flashed across his face. Guess he’d gotten so heavy Grillby couldn’t carry him anymore.

The human-hybrid-whatever was a mess, snarling and throwing abuse at an unimpressed Sans from where they were pinned to the ground with a makeshift bone cage. Their white hair was mussed and burnt on one side, and they lost their smug demeanor in favour of panic, carefully covered with aggression. If they were a remotely decent person Red might have pitied them, but after a dozen murders inspired by nothing but prejudice he felt giddy to see them brought down. Plus he was a petty asshole. Sue him.

Sans grinned humourlessly. “well buddy, you’ve been busy these last few months. honestly it’s a wonder you weren’t caught earlier with how sloppy you-”

The air above the human shimmered as what looked like an ornate canon made from magic formed and hung suspended in mid-air, magic concentrating and shining brightly inside it, powering up a beam. With a crackle another bone appeared and stabbed into Rabbit’s leg, making them scream and their attack fell apart into slivers of light. They quickly bit off the scream, silent tears running down their cheeks as they glared at Sans’ raised browbone. They might have the soul of a monster, but that sort of expression was somehow incredibly human.

“as i was saying,” Sans continued, “it’s a wonder we didn’t catch you earlier. did it give you a kick how monsters were grieving and the one that killed their loved ones was sitting right next to them? why did you do this anyways? grillbz said you were a monster, so what gives?”

“I. Am NOT. A _monster_ ,” the human hissed, burning hatred in their voice. “I spent a thousand years, a _thousand years_ scared of people thinking I’m one of you. Of running for my life whenever I got hurt and people saw I didn’t bleed. Of moving every ten years so people wouldn’t see I don’t age. Things were fine before you showed up. Humans had forgotten you. I could finally be one of them! One of them, and not a damn _creature_ like you all!”

They spat out a hunk of dust. “Get a hint. The world moved on without you. You all should have died out centuries ago when you lost the war. Things like you-like me? We have no place in this world anymore. We don’t deserve better anyways. Humans always win.”

Red saw Grillby shift next to him and moved to let him approach the human. He crouched, closer to their eye level. Red couldn’t see the expression he was making, but his flames were erratic.

“…I’m very disappointed in you, Rabbit. This wasn’t what your father fought for or wanted for you.”

“I don’t think you know _shit_ about what my father wanted. And what you wanted stops mattering once you die like an idiot,” they spit out.

“…I suppose there’s nothing to talk about then,” Grillby said standing up, voice hard and cold. Red knew better than to think he felt nothing.

“i’m gonna call undyne, she knows how to handle the police,” Sans said, breaking the tension, most likely on purpose. He pulled out his shitty flip phone and went to the corner. “keep an eye on them, grillbz.”

Red watched him dial and make a call, the voice on the line loud enough to be heard from where he was standing. Grillby was standing near Rabbit, fireballs ready. The tension in his posture made Red think he should give him some space.

The sound of a can kicked made all of their heads whip towards the opening of the alley. There stood the human that helped Red. Weaver, that was her name. Fucking human mages and their weird-ass names. She stood frozen, with the kind of flabbergasted expression one might have if they just walked into their parents having sex when they thought the house was empty. Apparently, the last call Rabbit made to her was to meet up with her.

She looked at the monsters gathered around, then at the white-haired human on the ground, bruised and pinned down with bones, then back at Red. He could almost see the gears turning in her head.

“What,” she asked no one in particular, “just happened here?”

“we caught the person that’s been killing monsters. which, come to think of it, you could have helped with. given us a hint or two. so thanks a bunch,” answered Red.

“I helped you once already, I don’t think you realize how unstable my position is! I can’t just casually walk up to you people whenever I want to!”

“Weaver? What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Rabbit hissed out. “You’re helping them?!”

“I am,” she answered, irritated. “Don’t get in the way.”

Rabbit looked at her, fury burning in their eyes. “I see. And will you help me out or am I taking the fall for the Circle, you double-crossing bi-”

“Why are you even mad?” she interrupted, “You know the boss will bail you out. You know the police are on the human’s side. So why are you pissed that I’m helping them? You’ll get out in like a month. Just-mind your own business and let me do my own thing, alright? It’s not like you even care about the organization, you’re just riding on the coattails so you can kill monsters,” she squeezed out, tense.

Rabbit glared, brows furrowed in thought, then thumped their head to the ground and let the tension drain out of his shoulders. Seems they’ve given up struggling and accepted their fate.

“so you’re not helping your friend? harsh,” Red asked, browbone raised. Weaver didn’t seem amused.

“We’re not friends. And like I said, they’ll be out soon. The police are bought and there are special laws in place that protect mages. He qualifies as one, so unless you have loads of direct evidence you’re screwed.”

Red leaned onto the wall behind him, the sudden distance giving him a good view of the human on the ground, Sans talking in the corner, keeping an eye on the newcomer, and Weaver right in front of him. She glanced at him, then walked over to the wall an arm length away from him and leaned back as well. Red tensed from her proximity.

“Who is your friend calling?” she asked.

“the authorities. what’s it to ya? you worried you’ll get in trouble?” he said, frowning. The human just shook her head, ignoring him.

“I have another tip for you, and be very careful what you do with it.”

Red looked at her, posture relaxing. She was helpful so far. He really hoped things wouldn’t fall through. “go on.”

“The Circle has these large meetings every 3 months or so. Most of the people in the organization come to them, including the higher-ups. Rabbit’s not going to talk, I can tell you that much right now, and they’ll get out of prison quickly. The police won’t open an investigation unless you have some serious evidence and media support. If you go to the meeting though, you could find evidence to convict the entire organization instead of just one lackey. Or you can beat the shit out of them, whatever floats your boat. Good luck with that though, mages can be tough as hell. Plus some have weapons. Weapons are bad.”

“and you’ll just sit back while all this goes down? kinda hard to believe.”

“Look, I just want out. I won’t be in the meeting itself, I’m supposed to be a lookout. I won’t notify the others that you’re approaching, if you see me you don’t attack me, and hopefully you put Dancer out of commission for me. You get your evidence and hopefully stop the future bullshit, I finally get away from her. That’s a pretty sweet deal if you ask me. So how about it?”

Red looked at her. He was glad he wasn’t making the decisions in this whole mess. “i’ll pass the message on. When’s the meeting supposed to be?”

“In three weeks. We usually switch meeting places a lot to escape detection, but this meeting will definitely be in an abandoned hotel. Here, I have the address,” she said, pulling out a folded paper and writing down the info with a chewed-on pen, then passing it to Red. She smiled, but it didn’t touch her eyes. “Good luck. You’ll need it. Now I gotta scram before the police come here.”

Red nodded to her, and she took off at a jog, disappearing into the network of alleyways. Rabbit snorted in derision.

“so what did she say this time?” Sans’ voice came next to him suddenly. Red suppressed a flinch and turned to see him standing where Weaver was a moment ago. He heard someone running very loudly in the distance and approaching them on the main street, followed by the sounds of things breaking. Seems Undyne was coming.

Red handed him the note. “We’ve got another lead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I figured since there's been several OC's in this fic I should make small profiles for them, so here. We start with:  
> NAME: Rabbit  
> PRONOUNS: They/them  
> APPEARANCE: White hair and skin, red eyes. Average height and slim build. Likes wearing loads of bracelets, most of which they made themselves. Prefers comfortable, fitting clothes, preferably green.  
> SOUL COLOUR: White  
> MAGIC: Monster magic. Attacks typical for light elementals, such as balls of light that scatter, energy beams, etc.  
> MUSIC PREFERENCE: Jazz, old swing music. Not a fan of most modern music, though they have a secret soft spot for musicals.  
> OTHER: Drink of choice is juice, dislikes alcohol. They dislike Weaver and consider her a pain in the ass, but they like Dancer well enough.
> 
> Headcanon time: Sans listens to Britney Spears. At first he just played her songs on a loop to annoy Papyrus but it backfired and now he genuinely likes her music, even though everyone else thinks it's a joke. His ringtone is Toxic. Not even a good version of the song though, it's some shitty mp3 of a low-quality Youtube video. He might have intentionally made it shittier, who the hell knows.


	15. Push it (Push it Real Good)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where two monsters throw up and Papyrus isn't made for a career in medicine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic has now officially passed the 1000 kudos mark. Y'all are insane for reading this and I love you for it. Keep on being awesome.
> 
> WARNINGS: vomiting, graphic depiction of birth because the author has Needs, panic
> 
> [Song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCadcBR95oU)for the chapter.

Red woke up slowly, rubbing his sockets so he could look at the clock on his night stand. 3 in the morning. He made a disgusted sound and rolled onto his other side. He’d only slept for a few hours after yesterday’s excitement, he wasn’t getting up until at least 11.

He spent the next few minutes tossing and turning before he sighed and sat up. His skull was fuzzy, as it usually was when he didn’t get enough sleep, but he felt wide awake. A restless energy was filling his joints, making sitting still uncomfortable, so he got up and started pacing. Weird. He’d been avoiding walking for as much as he could the last week or so, but suddenly the idea of sitting made him want to break something.

His entire body felt wound up for some reason. Like there was a string sitting taut inside his ribcage, pulling the rest of his bones towards it. The kid wasn’t kicking around, but their agitation made him squirm.  He walked to one side of the room, turned, paced back. He was breathing pretty fast too, maybe faster than what is normal from just walking. What the hell was going on?

The pulling feeling kept growing stronger and stronger until he suddenly froze in place, putting a steadying hand on the bed as his soul suddenly felt like it was being stretched too thin. He could feel the kid’s restlessness, pulsing through his soul and mixing with his own and making sweat start gathering on his skull. The stretching kept getting worse, impossibly, until suddenly he felt a snapping release of tension, like a string being cut. He stood in place frozen for a long moment, mind blanking. He couldn’t feel his child’s soul anymore.

Then the first contraction hit.

“mother _fucker_ -” he hissed, feeling a cramp not unlike the ones he got when he ate too many burgers and fries that one time, except multiplied by 50. His insides stayed cramped for what felt like an eternity, before slowly dissolving, leaving only agitation in place.

Red took a deep breath, forcing himself to count out 5 seconds to inhale, 5 to exhale. Fuck him sideways, he was in labour. He grabbed the clock from his nightstand, noting the time. Okay. He had to time the contractions, see how far along he was. He could do this. He was not panicking. Not one bit. At all. Deep breaths.

How the fuck did the soul bond with his kid break already?! The bond breaking was usually preceded by several hours of weak contraction, and it was a sign that the labour was progressing into the later stages. Did he seriously sleep through the beginning of labour? He couldn’t fucking believe this!!!

…Okay, he could believe it. Still, this meant he didn’t have the hours to prepare everything for the actual birth he had been counting on. Fuck, what did he need again? Towels, blankets, water…He needed to call Toriel and get her here too. Scratch that, he needed to get Sans or Papyrus to help him first. He was on his feet for now, but he didn’t think he’d be able to run around gathering the supplies he needed.

Another contraction hit, stronger than the last one. He whined pathetically, trying to breathe slowly through it. Holy shit, he knew logically the contractions would get worse, but he couldn’t imagine that they could. He let the pain roll through him, panting as it finally stopped. He looked at the clock he was holding, wincing at the plastic bits that had crumpled in his fist. The contractions were 7 minutes apart. What the _fuck_ , already?!

He breathed in, hobbling to the door and opening it. It took him way longer to walk down the hall than it usually did, but it still took a lot of effort to keep his heavy body and shaky legs moving instead of stumbling into the wall he was leaning on for balance. His plan was originally to wake Sans up, but with his room on the other side of the apartment he only managed to reach Papyrus’ room before he sent that particular plan to hell. He raised his fist and banged the door twice, the sound echoing faintly through the silent house.

“come on, open up dammit-” he muttered, feeling sweat run down the back of his neck and soak into his shirt. He raised his arm to bang again, but the door swung open and he barely stopped in time to not punch Papyrus by accident.

“RED? HOW UNUSUAL TO SEE YOU UP AT THIS HOUR! WHAT DID YOU NEED?” he beamed, a curious look on his face. Red clutched his stomach, feeling the beginning of another contraction.

“we have a-oh _fuckfuckfuckfuck-_ a bit of a situation,” Red panted out, digging his phalanges into the door frame hard enough for the wood to start to splinter. “the kid’s coming.”

“THE KID IS-OH. OH!!!” Papyrus gasped. “OH, YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE THE BABY NOW!!! OKAY WE-WE ALL PREPARED FOR THIS! FIRST WE-STAY CALM, RED!!! YOU HAVE TO CALM DOWN!!!!”

“I’m fucking calm, paps. what i need is for toriel to haul ass here before i dust,” he squeezed out, skull starting to feel foggy. Was he going to hurl? He would definitely hurl before the night was over.

“OH GOD, I’M TOO YOUNG TO BE AN UNCLE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS,” Papyrus gasped, panic turning his expression into a grimace. Red moved his hand away from his belly and grabbed Papyrus’ shirt by the collar, yanking down hard. It brought the taller skeleton nearly to his eye level, and if Red was any less irritated by the pain radiating through his body he would be uncomfortable with the expression of fear on his face.

“listen here, papyrus. i give precisely zero fucks about how ready you feel. the baby is coming now, my fucking stomach feels like i ‘m getting stabbed and i’m 5 seconds away from mauling the first person to piss me off. so go. and get sans. **N O W**.”

Papyrus made a low whimpering sound in the back of the throat, frozen in place even as Red loosened his hold. Red finally let go of the shirt and put his hand back on his belly, keeping a light pressure on it to relieve some of the pain. “please.”

“Y-YES, ALRIGHT! I WAS JUST MOMENTARILY PANICKING, AND AM NOW READY TO ASSIST!!! UM-CAN YOU WALK TO YOUR ROOM ALONE?” he asked finally, hand on Red’s elbow. Red moved to nod, but hesitated. It took him several minutes just to get to Papyrus’ room. Maybe he needed help. He shook his head. Papyrus lent down and picked him up effortlessly, bridal style, moving slowly when Red whimpered in discomfort. He walked slowly to minimize the jostling, elbowing the door open and moving to put Red on the bed. After a moment there, Red slinked to the floor and curled up into a ball. It was actually pretty nice down here with the fluffy carpet and everything.

“DO YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE?” Papyrus asked, worry apparent in his tone. Red just shook his head. With a last worried glance over his shoulder, Papyrus barreled down the hallway and screeched to a stop in front of Sans’ room before kicking it open. Red couldn’t follow the ensuing mayhem due to another contraction starting up, his insides feeling like they were trying to curl up into the tiniest ball they could and taking his bones along for the ride, on top of his back hurting like hell. Red let out a choked whine, not prepared for the radiating pain. By the time they subsided, he was gasping for air and Sans was hovering above him, looking more serious than he’d seen him in months.

“well, shit. okay, you sit tight red, i’m getting tori. bro, you stay with him, alright?” Sans commanded before popping out of existence. Red couldn’t see Papyrus’ reaction to the quick exit, but the taller skeleton knelt down in front of him with a glass of water. Red raised himself on his elbow just enough to drink, ignoring Papyrus’ helping hand, and downed the cool water before curling back. Thank fuck the brothers decided to put a carpet on the floor. Too bad it will probably have to be burned by the time he popped the kid out. Speaking of which.

“paps, can you-can you get some towels?” Red said, panting. “get all the towels in the house. and there’s plastic sheets in my room, get those too.”

“OF COURSE! I’LL BE BACK IN A JIFFY!!!” Papyrus exclaimed, sounding a tad relieved to be given something to do. Red smiled weakly. Poor guy just wanted to help but didn’t know how. He really hoped he wouldn’t stick around for all the gross parts. He’d rather nobody saw him like that, except for those that absolutely had to be here.

After another contraction passed and Papyrus made several trips bringing armfuls of towels and plastic, Sans finally shortcutted directly to the room, Toriel in tow. She seemed dizzy for a moment, almost dropping her bag while trying to orient herself. Red only now realized Sans was wearing only boxers and a single sock.

“oh, the towels and sheets are out already. great work, bro. what else do we need, tori?” Sans asked hurriedly. If Red wasn’t as out of it as he was, he’d find it funny how everyone rushed around. Screw it, he found it funny anyways. He snorted, then snickered at the face Sans made at him.

Toriel shook her head, still looking a bit green in the face. “Do you have a heating pad?” she asked, taking her supplies out of the bag and onto the table, then starting to clear the area around the bed.

“uh, i don’t know. i have to check. anything else?”

“Some snacks and water would be good, as well as some baby food and a bottle. A bucket filled with water. Baby clothes as well, something easy to put on and warm, please,” she told Sans, turning to Papyrus before Sans even shortcutted away. “Papyrus, could you put the plastic sheets on the bed and floor?” she asked, and Papyrus actually did a salute in response. Stars, what a goof.

She kneeled in front of Red, gently rubbing his shoulder for comfort. He growled lowly and tensed, not completely sure where all the sudden irritation was coming from, just knowing that he was willing to bite her if she kept touching him and being in his personal space. Thankfully, she figured out his nonverbal threat and jerked her hand away, scooting a bit further away. Only then did Red relax again.

“How far apart are your contractions?” she asked calmly, moving her body to make room for Papyrus tugging on the sheets.

“last time I checked it was 7 minutes. i don’t know, maybe they’re faster now? and the soul bond broke already,” he answered. Just as he finished, another contraction hit him, making him growl out loudly. He tried focusing on Toriel, seeing a light smile play on her lips.

“Well, it seems that you are quite far along already. I’m surprised you held on this long without calling me over. First time mothers tend to get worried quickly.”

“i woke up half an hour ago and i was already like this. weren’t the contractions supposed to last for hours before the bond broke?!” he said, panting every few words. Holy hell, he never thought breathing right could be this difficult.

 “Well, there is usually a longer time period before the second stage of labour, but real life doesn’t always stick to the book. It will certainly make things more hectic, but it also means you will have a shorter birth-usually it doesn’t go this fast for first timers. So I suppose you’re lucky!” she chuckled, seeming pleased. Red was about as far removed from pleased as he was from comfortable. Which was by a lot.

"MISS TORIEL? WHERE SHOULD I PUT THE OTHER SHEET?" Papyrus inquired politely.

Toriel motioned to the spot Red was lying on. "Put it down here, please. Red, would you be alright with getting up for a moment? I will help."

Red grumbled loudly, but uncurled as a sign of compliance. Toriel lifted him up slightly, her very strong arms wrapped around his shoulder and knees. Red would have been a very happy man under different circumstances, but even he wasn’t able to get his kicks while giving birth. He felt the tingles of a shortcut down his spine but he couldn't see Sans from his position, so he startled when he dropped a heating pad next to Toriel.

"ok, i got the stuff. what now?" Sans asked, walking into Red's line of sight. Toriel gently lowered him, helping him back into a comfortable ball. Red felt the slightly gross crinkle of plastic on the side of his face, but sighed in relief that he was on the floor again.

"Well, I need to have a look to see how far along he is. You can go get dressed for now. You're completely _bare-boned_ ," she said, hawing at her pun. Sans laughed, and Red was torn between wanting to laugh as well and wanting to bite them both. Given he was viscerally uncomfortable moving, he gave up on the second option and chuckled.

Toriel turned back to him, expression gentle. "You're holding up splendidly, Red. I need to check how dilated you are: could I lower your shorts for a moment?"

Red nodded immediately, marveling in the back of his mind over how little embarrassment he felt over the ex-Queen seeing his junk. He raised his hips enough for her to pull down his shorts, letting her move his legs and touching him to check. She hummed. "Well, you still have a bit to go before we get to the active stage, but you're far along already. Maybe two hours before you need to start pushing?"

Red made a grimace. Two hours. He didn't know how he'd survive it, but he would have to handle two more hours of this. Except there would be however much time he needed to push the kid out too. Oh joy.

Red was hit by another contraction, whining in pain, sobbing out when it finally passed. He knew he was supposed to take deep breaths, but he was incapable of doing anything but panting, despite Toriel's instructions. He felt his magic do a backflip in his ribcage.

"fuck. i'm gonna throw up," he muttered, feeling his sweat cool on his skull and magic churn. Toriel manhandled him upright just as Papyrus thrust a trash can underneath him, and Red grabbed onto it as he vomited. Thankfully, there was only some magic and water inside of him, so soon he stopped and rested his head on Toriel's furry arm.

"OH STARS. I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK TOO," Papyrus exclaimed, face lighting a sickly orange and a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead. Red frowned.

"wait, were you still in here when tori checked me?"

"I-I TURNED AROUND, OF COURSE! I HAVE DECENCY!!!" he exclaimed, looking like he was trying very hard to think of his happy place. Toriel pressed a water bottle Red’s mouth.

"Rinse your mouth, but don't drink it. You will just upset your stomach more," she ordered. "And there is nothing indecent about birth, Papyrus. It is a wonderful thing. You will see the creation of an entirely new life-"

"EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND," Papyrus yelled out, voice still boisterous but shaky. Last thing Red saw was him clutching his mouth before scrambling out of the room, nearly bowling Sans over as he entered the room. Sans frowned, then winced when he heard the sounds of vomiting coming from the bathroom.

"what happened to paps?" he asked, an incredulous look on his face. Toriel sighed.

"It seems he is better off away from the birth itself. Sans, you're the assistant now."

Red choked out a laugh at the horror-struck look on Sans' face. Well. This should be fun.

 

 

Three hours in and still no baby in sight, Red was starting to lose it. Scratch that, he’d lost it about an hour ago. The heating pad did little to ease his back pain and the healing magic Toriel kept infusing him with barely took the edge off the pain. The contractions were still varying in length, but they kept on getting stronger, despite Red's frequent internal begging for them to ease off. He was irritable, every part of his body hurt but especially his pelvis and spine, and above all he was fucking tired. Thank the stars that Papyrus was relegated to stand-by outside the room, because at this point Red had cussed out Toriel, Sans, the universe he was in, the monster that knocked him up, the flickering lightbulb that needed changing and, last but not least, every single article of clothing on his body.

"fuck everything, fuck this fucking stupid plastic sheet and fuck this fucking shirt-" Red growled, angrily trying to rip off his ‘bad to the bone’ shirt. Toriel had learned her lesson and didn't touch him in an attempt to help, so it took him a while to take it off. When he did, he chucked the offending article as far away from his person as possible, then realizing his shorts were irritating him too he took them off as well. Out of the corner of his socket he saw Sans blush, but Toriel seemed completely unbothered. He had so little fucks to give it was almost funny.

With a relieved huff, Red collapsed back onto the floor and curled up again, ignoring the ache in his joints from staying in the same position for so long. He really wished he could stretch his legs or lie down normally, but every other pose he attempted to take was unbearably uncomfortable and just ended up with him curled on his side again. He saw Sans lean his head back on the wall, trying to get a quick snooze in and also probably to avoid looking at Red's pelvis. Toriel was busy timing the contractions and checking how dilated he was every now and then, but she also took a snack and water break occasionally or reheated the water when it grew cold.

Red closed his eyes, counting his breaths. It worked so far in calming him marginally, the way he had to use his full concentration just to stop panting and breathe deeply. It kept him focused on a single task instead of the radiating pain. It took several more contractions before he felt something subtly change. He noticed they picked up speed, but by the next one he realized he had a sudden urge to push. He looked at Toriel, feeling panicked.

"t-toriel? i think i need to push," he panted out, feeling lost. Toriel perked up, immediately going to check how dilated he was, and even Sans snapped to a weary awareness. After checking him, Toriel nodded.

"You're fully dilated, so you can go ahead. How would you be most comfortable?" she asked. Red whined, unsure. He couldn’t stay curled up in a ball for this part, but he didn’t know what to do. With a bit of shuffling, he managed to grab onto the bed and sit up, then shift his weight so he was squatting. It wasn’t comfortable, but it felt…right? It was weird how much he’d been running on instinct tonight. Toriel steadied him with a hand on his shoulder and he latched onto her arm, running his phalanges through the soft, white fur. It was soothing, and he needed any fragment of calm he could find to reign in his rising panic.

Feeling another contraction coming and the same inexplicable urge to push, he did so. “fuck fuck fuck-” Red panted out, contracting his magic with all the miniscule power that he had left. He felt a sudden wetness rush out from between his legs, and dizzily he looked down and saw the red fluid of his ecto belly trickle out, the stream slow but not stopping for the entirety of the contraction. It was still going by the time the pain lessened. Thankfully the plastic sheet caught most of the crap, but he figured the carpet would still have stains. Whoops.

“oh, _ew_ ,” Sans squeezed out, sounding nauseous. His magic relaxing slightly, Red gasped in air and leaned backward on the bed. Fuck, he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t keep this up, every bone in his body felt like it had been twisted and drained of it’s marrow.

“Sans, I will not have any comments from you like that,” Toriel clipped, gently stroking his shoulder blade.  “Now help me hold Red up. Red, don’t talk while you’re pushing, save your breath. Breathe like we practiced. You’re doing great.”

“i don’t feel like i’m doing great,” Red panted out, feeling another contraction hit. Inhaling deeply then letting it out as a half-choked scream, he pushed, feeling the kid stretch out his pelvis way more than he thought possible. He was almost certain his pubic bone was breaking. After the wave of agony passed over him and he could breathe again he felt the tear tracks on his cheekbones cool and let out a sobbing gasp.

“i can’t do this. i can’t,” he cried out, trying to breathe through the pain. Fuck, his back hurt and he was fully convinced his pelvis was too small for this. Sans pat him on the shoulder for support.

“You can’t give up now, Red. You’re at the end now, just a little more. A few more pushes and you get to hold your baby. Just a bit more, Red” Toriel encouraged him with a slow, even cadence, as if she was lulling a child to sleep. Red sniffed, trying to get his breathing under control. He couldn’t even inhale properly anymore.

“come on red, you can do it. you’ll see lucida in a bit, alright? you’ll be a mom soon,” Sans said, holding his hand. Red let out a very wet laugh.

“fuck you, i’m gonna be a dad,” he choked out, laughter in his voice. He gripped Sans’ hand with crushing force, enjoying the gasp of pain Sans let out. If he was suffering, he sure as fuck was dragging others down with him.

Focus, damn it. A few more pushes and he was going to be a dad. He could do this. He was doing this. He could do just a little more if it was for his kid.

He fell into an almost meditative state, nothing but breathing, pain and the next push on his mind. It was slow going, feeling the kid’s head move down his pelvis, feeling so stretched he figured he wouldn’t be able to close his legs again for the rest of his life. Oddly enough, he managed not to cry anymore, even if he was screaming so much he must have woken up the neighbours.

After what felt like an eternity, he was possessed by an inexplicable, primal need to push harder than any time before. Body bracing, he sucked in air and held onto Sans and Toriel so hard he could hear both of them hiss out in pain, then channeled all his irritation, all his anger and all the feelings of being fucking _done_ with everything inwards. With a deep, guttural growl he pushed, and kept pushing even as he distantly heard Toriel tell him to slow down, even as he felt like he was way past the point of passing out, even as he felt like his pelvis was splitting in two despite the rest of his body feeling numb.

He felt something sliding out from between his legs, and suddenly the blinding pain in his pelvis lessened. He sucked in as much air as he could, the magic in his throat area sore from his screaming. The sudden flow of air left him even more dizzy, his vision blurry, and he couldn’t hear anything but his own panting and gasping until a wet cry rang through the room.

He saw blurry movement at first, but as his eye lights sharpened back he saw Toriel holding a squirming bundle, rubbing it with a towel. He couldn’t even see them properly, all cocooned in fluffy yellow towels, but he knew. That was them. That was the kid. His kid.

He let go of Sans’ hand and swayed in place, ignoring the stabilizing skeletal hand on his shoulder as he stretched his arms to Toriel. His arms were shaking, but he held them as straight as he could. Toriel laughed, dropping the towel on the floor and leaning forwards, slowly putting the tiny mess of bones in his arms, helping Red fold them the way she taught him to. “Congratulations, Red. They’re a healthy young skeleton!”

Red will never be able to articulate what he felt looking down at this tiny skeleton held tight in his arms, bawling and kicking around. This all-encompassing, blazing warmth and pride in his soul as he realized he had created a new life, tiny and perfect. That for once in his life, things didn’t fall apart at his touch, that he actually managed to keep the kid safe, against all odds.

God, they were beautiful.

The kid had tears rolling down their cheekbones and he sure knew how they felt because he could feel some on his own face as he smiled. He shushed the kid, trying to rock them gently. Noticing something new happening, or perhaps noticing their parent was holding them, the babybones’ sockets blinked open, blurry lights in their depths sharpening into focus until the kid was looking right at him. Their sockets looked just like his. He poked their tiny metacarpals, watching with wonder as their phalanges grabbed onto his finger, somehow both tiny and yet so strong. Each bone in their hand was miniscule, their hand not even covering his palm, and resembled his own. His own magic and soul had made a perfect little skeleton.

“huh. holy shit. i have a kid,” Red laughed out, choking on a sob. “they felt bigger when i was pushing them out of my snatch.”

He heard Toriel’s accompanying braying laugh, but Sans was completely silent next to him. When he spared a glance at him, he had an utterly starstruck look on his face. Like seeing the Sun for the first time. He knew the feeling.

“Would you like me to help you wipe off? You’ll be more comfortable that way,” Toriel offered quietly, as if speaking too loud would break the moment. Red hesitated, then shook his head. He may be exhausted, but now that the ordeal was over he didn’t want people going near his junk unless they had to. Toriel put a pile of damp towels within arm’s reach, then rose and left the room with a bucket filled with dirty towels, probably to give him some privacy. Sans didn’t get the memo because he was still there, but Red was glad he wasn’t alone. He could feel exhaustion creeping in now that the panic and pain were subsiding and he knew he wouldn’t be able to move in another half an hour.

“you wanna hold ‘em while I wipe down?” he asked Sans. The skeleton jolted upright, an incredulous look on his face. Then slowly, hesitantly, he nodded. Red shifted, keeping the kid’s head supported as he let Sans carefully wrap his arms around them and cradle Lucida to his ribcage. The kid apparently wasn’t happy with the jostling, going from quiet whimpers and squeaks to full-blown crying once again. Red felt a pang in his soul at the sound, in the place he was almost certain their soul bond used to be. He didn’t want to let go of the kid, he didn’t want them to leave his arms for one second, not now that they were finally here. But Sans was holding them the way he had been taught and Red realized how hard his arms were shaking. He really needed the break, no matter what his instincts were screaming.

He grabbed the towel and did a sloppy run over his bones, removing the sticky red residue as well as he could. He scrubbed as hard as his shaky hands would let him, but he figured he wasn’t getting the crap off until he took a proper shower, so he wiped the worst of it and tossed the towel to the side.

He watched Sans smile wide at Lucida, gently rocking them, humming a distantly nostalgic song under his breath. All of a sudden Sans froze, sockets wide in surprise, before he let out a snort, his body shaking in a fit of barely restrained laughter. “red. red, oh my stars, they’re glaring at me. your kid was born five minutes ago and they’re glaring at me,” Sans wheezed out. He carefully passed them back to Red, and Red laughed at the deep furrows of fury and disgust between the kid’s brow bones. The kid definitely got that look from his brother. “this kid is mad to be born.”

“hey mad to be born,” Red whispered, laughter in his sockets. “i’m dad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> U thought I wouldn't ruin an emotional moment with a dad joke well u thought wrong
> 
> So there are a few things y'all need to know about this chapter.  
> 1) I study medicine and researched childbirth extensively, so I know what's supposed to happen during birth. That being said, I never popped a baby out myself.  
> 2) Monster anatomy=artistic freedom  
> 3) I could have made the birth clean and easy, just the kid popping out no prob. I intentionally chose to get realistic and gross because of who I am as a person.
> 
> Headcanon: Papyrus listens to Death Metal. He has like 50 metal t-shirts because he likes the skeleton aesthetic.
> 
> EDIT: Since people keep asking me, I didn't want Lucida's other parent to be a named/major character so it wouldn't impact the story. So you can imagine your monster OCs as the other parent.


	16. A Spark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some days you just have to wind down and unload.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy oh boy last chapter was super fun to write so I forgot what it's like to struggle with a chapter. Then this one reminded me. Good times.  
> Also, next chapter will likely be a monster length so it might also take a while.

Lucida was small and light, but they felt solid lying on his ribcage, their own chest slowly rising and falling as they slept. Occasionally they would twitch, stretch their limbs or make a faint, sleepy sound. Red couldn’t take his eyes off o them. He had tried napping, but despite his exhaustion he woke up from his doze every time Lucida got squirmy and just looked at the way their body moved.

He couldn’t wrap his head around any part of this situation. He knew, intellectually, that he was pregnant and would consequently give birth and become a father. But it was utterly mind-bending for him to look at this babybones sleeping soundly on his ribcage and realize that, not only were they the little lump he had carried and protected for the last seven months, they were also his new family and he was responsible for them from now on.

He never expected his family to be anyone other than Papyrus for so long. He remembered Gaster and the way their family of two grew to three then shrunk again, so he knew it wasn’t impossible. And he figured his brother would one day find a partner and have kids, so he’d be the annoying but fun uncle for them if his brother let him, but he never really thought he’d have a kid of his own. Sure, he found kids cute and a riot and he was protective of them in general, but he never thought it would be feasible with his 1 HP back in his world, or that he would find someone who would be with him. He had been expecting something to go wrong until the moment he held Lucida in his arms and realized they’d both survived. He didn’t like using the word miracle for it, but it was the only term that could do it justice.

He stroked their tiny foot gently, watching the way their toes flexed at the action. Thankfully, they were so exhausted they ignored his poking and prodding completely. He remembered holding his baby brother like this, a week or two after he met him. Papyrus had chewed happily on his finger, then started screaming bloody murder when he tried to take them away and their caretakers scolded him for making the babybones cry. Lucida was a considerably calmer baby.

There was a sudden knock on the door, just two gentle raps. Red looked up, stopping his stroking. It was probably Papyrus, checking to see if everything was alright or to bring them food. Sans was still sleeping off his exhaustion after all, and Papyrus kept popping into his room to make sure Red was comfortable. He wasn’t, and he really, really needed to sleep. But Lucida cried as soon as they realized Red wasn’t holding them anymore, so this was as good as it would get.

"come in," Red answered, trying to wiggle into a more upright position and failing miserably. The door swung open and, to his surprise, Grillby was standing in the doorway, a small bouquet of white flowers in his hands and a wide smile on his face. Red's cheekbones hurt from his answering smile stretching impossibly wide.

“…May I?” Grillby inquired, and after Red’s nod shut the door gently behind him, then walked the length of the room to leave the flowers on the desk before stopping next to the bed.

Red grinned up at him, the bone around his sockets scrunching. "hey handsome."

"Hello, Red. Congratulations," Grillby beamed, then bent down to press a soft kiss to his browbone. Red tilted his head up until his teeth met Grillby's mouth, chuckling into the quick but tender kiss. When they pulled away, Grillby was still smiling, but it was more subdued. Red blinked. That was...a bit weird.

"you wanna sit down?" Red asked, trying to move to the side to make more space while keeping Lucy from being jostled. Grillby made protesting noises and tried to stop him, but finally gave up with a sigh and helped Red shuffle over. Good thing too, because every single bone in his body was sore and he'd wanted to sit more upright for the last hour, he just couldn't find the willpower to get his aching joints to cooperate. Grillby helped him sit up, fluffed up a pillow and tucked Red in until he was perfectly snug and his pelvis didn’t feel like it had been smashed by a hammer so much. Only then did he sit next to Red on the bed, shoes kicked off and the bit of space between their bodies warming up pleasantly.

"...Did everything go alright?" Grillby asked, crackling in concern.

"yeah, sure. it only took like...four hours total, maybe five. so it went by pretty fast as far as first births go," Red said, moving Lucy to lay further up his ribcage. "i'm never doing this shit again, i’ll tell you that. my pelvis hurts like fuck."

Grillby frowned at what Red assumed was his language, turning his body towards them. He was watching Lucida, smiling wide when they made a soft noise exhaling. “…They’re adorable, Red. They have your sockets.”

“heh. they do, don’t they,” he said softly. He flicked his eye lights back to Grillby. “i’d let you hold them but they start crying as soon as I let go. i tried to put them down so i could sleep but they keep waking up. you should see the glare they give me, heh.”

Grillby made a small snort of laughter. He gently poked their palm with a fiery finger, crackling happily when tiny skeletal phalanges curled around his much larger digit. Red felt a brief twitch of protective anger before reminding himself that this was Grillby and he absolutely trusted him to touch his child. It was just his suddenly strong parental instincts kicking up a fuss. It made him feel both guilty for that moment of anger as well as awestruck by the fact that he could trust someone so much that he’d let them near his child. If anyone deserved that trust, it was Grillby. And maybe the skeleton brothers. Despite his frequent arguing with Sans, they had become a family of sorts.

Grillby played with their fingers, very gently so they wouldn’t wake up, before moving up and stroking their plump little cheekbones with the backs of his fingers. Lucida looked more like a marshmallow than a proper skeleton with those cheekbones, but Sans remembered Papyrus had them too before he grew up a bit and became all sharp edges and angles as a kid. Lucy had a striking resemblance to his brother at that age, but who knows how they will look when they grew up. They did have his sockets after all.

Out of the corner of his eye, movement grabbed his attention. He couldn’t figure out just what it was that gave him pause until he realized Grillby’s flames were more erratic than usual. Excited, sure, but there was a certain fast-snapping quality to them he associated more with tension. Red wasn’t sure what to make of it.

"something bothering you, grillbabe? cuz you seem a bit off today," Red asked, brow bones furrowed. Grillby’s gaze snapped to him, a startled expression on his face. Then it slowly changed into something guiltier. Red swallowed. Seems his read was right.

"...It's nothing. Don't worry about me Red, you have better things to worry about," Grillby answered, looking down at Lucy with the kind of resolution that told Red he was avoiding eye contact. He felt a slight sinking sensation in his ribcage. That wasn't a denial of his question. And with the way he said it, Red had a distinct feeling he had something to do with this sudden bad mood. Even deeper in his soul, he felt the slow simmer of growing annoyance catch up to the worry. What could he have done to fuck things up now? Couldn’t whatever went wrong wait for a couple of days? Was Grillby really trying to start something by implying things? Now? Several hours after he gave birth?!

Red shook his head. No. He knew Grillby better than that. The fire monster wasn't the type to pull some passive-aggressive bullshit on him, especially at a time like this. He had always been honest with his problems and in discussions, preferring to talk things out calmly whenever possible. Grillby was genuinely postponing talking about whatever upset him until Red was back on his feet, and hadn’t expect Red to call him out on it so early. Red knew him and he knew this was correct, no matter what his shitty self-confidence and trust issues told him.

He sighed and thunked his head against the bedpost, looking at Grillby with an unamused expression. "you realize if you don't tell me what's wrong i'll just keep worrying about it until you do, right? maybe overthink it, blow it out of proportion? i’m not too tired to listen to ya, hot stuff. I won’t get mad just because you told me what was wrong."

Grillby held his gaze for what felt like a minute, the flames on his head flickering energetically, reflecting the inner argument the fire monster was obviously having. Finally, he took a deep breath, held it, then let it out, shaking his head. Red was only mildly surprised when, instead of dismissing him, Grillby spoke. "...Papyrus called me less than an hour ago to tell me Lucida was born."

"ok?" Red said, frowning in confusion.

"...I'm your boyfriend and I only found out you were in labour several hours after you gave birth, " Grillby said, a tinge of anger breaking through in his voice. Red finally realized what felt off in Grillby's posture and expressions. He was stifling anger.

"oh. uh. whoops," Red supplied unhelpfully. Right. He forgot about that completely. "sorry."

Grillby shrugged, the motion stiffer than what was normal for the fire elemental. Irritation bubbled in Red's soul, and it took a lot of self-control to keep it from spilling into his posture and tone. He wasn’t completely sure he succeeded. "i mean, i was busy, ya know? giving birth and all. i couldn't think of making phone calls too, with everything going on."

"Not at one point did you think that I'd want to know? Did nobody in this house think of even sending a text while all this was happening? Nobody had a single minute to spare to notify me? Is giving your _lover_ a heads-up really so low on the list of priorities?!" Grillby said, obviously struggling not to lose his cool but still visibly upset. The flames on his head crackled wildly, never turning any temperature other than pleasantly warm but growing in size. Red was momentarily stunned. He’d never really seen Grillby mad before, and it made him feel a nauseating combination of guilty and hurt. The usual voice in his skull, the one that tends to scream at him to fight back in every conflict, was blissfully silent, all because he heard the not-so-subtle shakiness in Grillby's tone, a panicked edge that said this outburst wasn't coming from real anger. It was coming from fear. Grillby was afraid for Red.

Red inhaled slowly, exhaled, did it again, the room uncomfortably silent as Grillby slowly reined his emotions in, evident in the calming of his flames. Red couldn't begrudge him this outburst, not really. If their places were reversed he'd be just as worried and just as hurt. But it was such an alien feeling to realize someone worried about him like this, strongly and to the point of losing their cool despite their calm disposition.

"...i'm sorry grillbz. i didn't think…i didn’t realize i’d worry you so much," Red said quietly. Grillby turned to look at him. "i just-i woke up late in labour, and then things got hectic and i-i genuinely forgot that i should probably call you. i should have told someone to call you. i'm sorry."

Grillby’s flames quieted down, the contrast between their unusual docility and their former action striking. Grillby ran his fingers through his flames, his expression slowly turning guilty again. "…I’m sorry I yelled, I shouldn’t be losing my temper like this, especially not with you. Especially not now,” he said, voice still a bit wobbly. “…You have 1 HP, Red. Monsters with a lot more HP than you have died in childbirth. Things could have gone badly and I wouldn't have known a thing until hours afterwards. I just-I wanted to be here. Even if I couldn't help. I wanted to be here to support you."

"...you never said you wanted to be here," Red muttered, quietly.

"Of course I-!" Grillby exclaimed, then huffed and shook his head. "You're right. I didn't say anything. I should have said something before this happened. Not expected you to read my mind and guess what I wished for."

"i mean...why did you even want to be around? i was just cursing at everyone and being an asshole. i probably would have kicked you out of the room at some point," Red confessed, stroking the hem of Lucy’s onesie. “i don’t know what was up with me but i wanted everyone to leave me alone. I couldn’t kick toriel out since i needed her, and she insisted that she needed a helper. that’s the only reason i let anyone stay in the room. you would have stood around behind the door doing nothing and listened to me cuss out your mother and scream the house down. i get that you were worried, but you wouldn’t exactly get much out of the experience.”

"...That's what being your lover means to me, Red. It’s not just about my wishes, it means I want to be there to support you when you need it. It means being by your side. I can’t do that if you don’t let me, but don’t for a second think being there for you inconveniences me," Grillby chided, placing his hand gently on his femur. He didn’t have that confused expression he used to have when Red explained the rules of his world after failing to apply them to this one. Now he just seemed…sad. Sad and tired. Like he stopped being surprised by Red’s views on how interactions between people and this world worked.

Red caught Grillby’s gaze, a sort of weariness steeped in a frankly unsettling amount of fondness reflected in the other. For a moment, it was as if Grillby was looking right through him, through his clothes and through his bones and right into his soul, seeing that seed of love growing in his soul and digging in its vines, gouging its path until it took up so much space it would leave a hole if he ripped it out. For a moment, Red could see that same seed growing in Grillby, small and beautiful, pulsing in synchronicity with his own. It struck him like thunder, this realization that the two of them had created something precious between them, something fragile and so incredibly rare. Something Red feared but knew would one day share with his lover. Not today. He probably wouldn’t be brave enough to share that part of himself for months. Maybe even years. But it was there, humming in their chests, biding its time until bloom.

"...heh. what did i do to deserve you?" Red asked, sockets stinging but still mercifully dry. The kid was born, he couldn't blame his tears on the pregnancy anymore.

Grillby tilted his head, warmth in his gaze and mischief in his smile. "I could ask the same question," he answered, wrapping an arm around Red and scooting closer into a loose hug, planting a kiss on his skull. Red let him nuzzle it, enjoying the warmth surrounding his entire body. Even Lucida was settling down from the warmth. "...I know we haven't been together very long. Or even met that long ago. But I'm...quite serious about this. Us. I want to be a good lover to you."

Red felt the nervous flicker of his flames lick against his skull. "you’re the most amazing lover a guy could wish for. and i'm serious about being your _bonefriend_ too. which is pretty fucking rare for me, yanno? being serious about something. d’you feel honoured yet?" he asked with a wink.

Grillby chuckled. "Of course."

They settled into silence, the mood slightly awkward due to their emotions still in overdrive, but Red was warm and comfortable, his lover wasn’t mad at him and his kid was snug and sleeping on his ribcage. It was actually pretty good.

Grillby snaked an arm around his shoulders, slowly to prevent bumping him. Red leaned forward a bit, letting the arm settle comfortably around his shoulders before he leaned on the fire monster’s warm chest. He watched Grillby absent-mindedly stroke his sternum, covered by his usual shirt and vest, where some sort of object was bunching the fabric slightly. Red felt his curiosity flare up, as he increasingly did whenever he realized there was a part of Grillby he still didn’t know, and figured he might as well change the subject. “so what is that thing you keep touching around your neck?” he asked. He never claimed to be good at subtle and delicate.

Grillby blinked at him once, slowly, then crackled in amusement. “…I don’t know why your observation skills still surprise me. How do you notice these things?”

Red almost shrugged before remembering the sleeping babybones he was holding, deciding to stroke their little foot to have something to do instead. He hoped it soothed them. “i saw you fiddling with it before. maybe it’s a nervous habit? but the last time i saw you do it we were just talking.”

Grillby hummed, the sound echoing with the soft crackle-snaps of a burning fireplace. Quickly and precisely he unbuttoned the topmost button of his shirt, then reached around his neck to unclasp the leather cord that peeked through now. Grillby took the necklace off then held it out in his hand, waiting for Red to hold out his own so he could hand it over. “…It’s an old gift. Probably the oldest thing I own. And certainly one of the most precious.”

Red shifted his hand slightly, cocking his head. He was holding a pebble, perhaps the size of half his thumb with a perfectly smooth and glossy surface and a small bail drilled into the top, connecting it to a simple leather cord. The colours were unusual and stunning-a vibrant aqua, threads of brown breaking it up into uneven shapes, making it look like miniature tidepools. It wasn’t the kind of super shiny gem people would typically swoon over, but Red found it unique and appealing.

“it’s real pretty, babe. who gave it to ya?” he asked, turning it over. It had a solid weight to it, and he liked the change in texture between the two colours. It seemed like a could thing to mess with when you needed something to do with your hands

“…My soulmate.”

Red’s hand stopped in its tracks as he looked up at Grillby. He couldn’t quite read his expression-there was a wistfulness in his face, a subdued quality to his flames, and a smile in his eyes. Grillby chuckled nervously at whatever face Red was making. “…I would have brought them up eventually. I just didn’t plan to this soon,” he explained, shifting his weight on the bed. “…They died a few years after we were sealed underground. You don’t need to worry about them.”

Red blinked stupidly, trying to process this particular curveball. He honestly had no idea Grillby used to have a soulmate. Admittedly it was literally centuries ago if it happened soon after the war, but a soulmate was serious business. A true soul bond with another monster was incredibly difficult to break. It made an exchange of magic and emotion possible, it greatly increased the chance of pregnancy in monster couples, it could help heal a hurt mate.

…And it could bring a monster to dust if their mate fell down. It was a symbol of utmost trust, of a promise to stay with the chosen monster until the end of their lives and then go together. Mostly it was for romantic partners, but he’d heard friends made them too sometimes, so that if one fell down the other would either bring them back to life or follow them wherever monsters went after one dusted.

Red suddenly felt inadequate, deep down. letting someone touch his soul was something he refused to do. He couldn’t handle baring himself to someone that way, and he doubted he ever would. He couldn’t trust someone that way, not with the memories he had attached to the gesture. What if Grillby expected that from him eventually? After all, it was easy to make sacrifices short term, but what if he thought that not baring his soul to him meant he didn’t really lo- _like_ him? He said he didn’t mind before, but how long would that last?

He was startled out of his thoughts by a poke to the side of his skull. He blinked at Grillby, glaring at him with fake offence. Grillby shuddered in laughter at the expression and Red let out a quiet sigh of relief. He made Grillby laugh often. Would that be enough to make him happy?

“excuse you, you’re invading my personal space. rude,” Red complained, snuggling into his boyfriend’s chest. “and i’m not worried about them. don’t think you’d be dating me if you still had a situation going on that should worry me anyways, just wasn’t expecting it. you never mentioned them before.”

Grillby hummed in thought. “…It was a very long time ago. And I suppose it’s not exactly something to bring up on the first date.”

“you wanna talk about them?” Red asked.

“…You want to hear about my ex? I thought talking about past relationships was something that wasn’t approved of while dating,” Grillby said, a small smirk playing on his face. Red made a noncommittal sound.

“hey, if they were important to you, they were important to you. i’m not gonna make you act like it never happened or something,” Red mumbled. “i wanna know stuff about you. you’ve got interesting stories, hot stuff. and i get the feeling they weren’t someone you talked a lot about to other people.”

“…Do you really want to hear our story?” Grillby asked, voice pulling up into a question in his uncertainty. It just made Red surer that he made the right call. It couldn’t be easy, keeping such an important person and huge part of your life just to yourself. And despite his insecurities, he honestly couldn’t say he was bothered by the fact that his boyfriend had past relationships. It was to be expected, with how amazingly sweet and sexy and smart he was. He nodded with a grin.

Grillby took back the necklace and leaned back while playing with the pebble, rubbing the smooth surface as he stared ahead. It felt like a well-practiced action, and it made Red wonder how many evenings Grillby had spent alone, playing with the pendant.

“…I got this stone from them. A little after we started dating, they found it in a large hole in the ground, made from a cave collapsing. They thought it was funny since the rock looked like them. I asked if I could keep it and make it into a necklace. Darya seemed so embarrassed by that, since they were self-conscious about their brown spots. Most water elementals are a clear blue and they got teased for their splotches, but I always thought they looked adorable.”

“wait a sec, your soulmate was a _water elemental?”_ Red whistled. “damn. talk about taking a walk on the wild side, babe.”

Grillby gave him one of those blank looks that conveyed how done he was with him. Red tried very, very hard not to laugh. “…Our families disapproved, unfortunately. In the underground most monsters dated whoever they wanted to, since many monster types died out aside from a few individuals, but back on the surface it was somewhat frowned upon to date outside your type. Elementals could date elementals, actually, but the relationships between water and fire elementals tended to be…strained.

“Anyways, we met at a village festival. Several villages would gather to celebrate, some from places so far away we’d never come into contact otherwise. We ran into each other, started talking about nothing and everything. By the time the festival was over a week later, we refused to part. I don’t think anyone expected it to last, but sometimes you don’t need a lot of time to figure out your feelings. Sometimes you just…know.

“My parents were heavily against it. We already had a strained relationship for multiple reasons, but this was the last straw. I left home, went to live with Darya’s family. They weren’t thrilled at first, but they accepted me as one of their own within a few months.

“The humans had been getting uncomfortable around us before that. Many monsters and humans had good relationships-some traded, some lived as neighbours, some married each other. But they were growing fearful. I’m not sure how the incident happened, but they learned monsters could absorb human souls, become…something unnatural. The fear broke and turned into hate. They attacked.

“I was young and healthy, quite strong given that my magic control was mediocre. I was good in fights. Holding off large groups of humans is easy when you can set things on fire, and I could decimate supply lines, so eventually Asgore noticed me and promoted me to General. The former rulers had died in the war, and he had to take the mantle just as we started realizing we were losing. It was not an enviable position.

“Darya was relegated to support. They were never good at offensive magic, but they helped build moats and supply water and food. We only met once every few weeks, and every time we had to part I thought I wouldn’t get lucky enough to see them again. One time before I left for the front lines, we bonded. It was very rushed, not the kind of ceremony we would have liked. But we’d have rather done it like that than had one of us die completely alone. Stars, we had been dating for less than a year, our friends and their family told us it was a horrible idea. But I suppose when you’re faced with death, what you can and can’t live without becomes much clearer.

“The war couldn’t last forever, of course. The humans were destroying us, village by village, killing monsters indiscriminately as well as any humans that sided with us. Their soldiers were terrifying and outnumbered us, not even counting their mages. We all knew we would lose. We were just fighting to prolong our deaths as a species.

“Eventually they banished us to the underground. I can’t even describe what that was like at first. So many dying, scared monsters, stuck in a cramped, damp, dark cave. It’s a credit to the King and Queen that there were so few riots. Everyone struggled to adjust, we learned to make houses from little to no material, carving them out of stone, building water systems and walkways with magic and basic tools. We sent expeditions to find new cave systems and we lost someone nearly every week to cave-ins or sudden falls.

“But it only got really bad 2 years in. Every day the scientists worked on breaking the barrier or digging our way out. Every day we were busy just surviving. But after 2 years, things calmed down enough so that we all finally had time to look around and see where we stood. Red, I’m so glad you never had to live through that. Monsters were falling down every day from losing hope. I started helping Toriel with the injured, since she claimed I had a knack for healing, and every day we got a new monster carried in. A rabbit monster, the only surviving parent of four, fell down quickly. Our neighbor, who helped explore the cave systems, fell down in the middle of an expedition. The wind elementals all died out within a year from the lack of fresh air. It took the few fire elementals that made it down longer, but they died out too, apart from me,” Grillby explained, sighing. “…It was just me then. And Darya. Then they fell down too.”

Red’s sockets widened, the hand that was stroking Lucy stopping in its tracks. He knew that Grillby’s mate died, but it was still jarring how matter-of-factly Grillby said it. The fire elemental was staring straight ahead, immobile apart from the subdued, melancholy flicker of his flames, and for a second Red could see him in armor, standing straight in an empty battlefield. He was almost certain that his expression would be the same.

“It feels cold, to lose your soulmate. I was helping the Queen in the medical area when it suddenly felt like my soul fell through my chest and into a bucket of ice. I don’t think I ever felt cold at any other moment in my life. They weren’t moving when I found them. I couldn’t feel their magic, I couldn’t feel _them_ anymore. It was like holding an object. An armful of cold stone.

“Toriel urged me to break our bond. It’s possible to do so with outside help and a will to do so, and she was afraid that their death would make me fall down as well. It’s a terrible strain on the soul, to try and keep another alive when they start to break down. But I refused. I promised to be theirs as long as we both lived. I never broke a single promise I made to them in my life. I was always rather proud of that.”

Grillby swallowed with difficulty, staring straight ahead, unblinking. “It was too difficult being around the fallen after…. After. I refused Asgore’s invitation to join the Royal Guard. I couldn’t stand the idea of fighting anymore. I hated the humans at that time, but I couldn’t stomach the idea of more violence. I had several jobs after that. Somehow, I got a job as a chef at a restaurant in Home. I used to help my mother and sibling cook as a child. It felt…good, to do something other than fight, either to kill or save people. To remember there was a me that existed before the war. And it made monsters happy, so I was happy too.

“Eventually I built my own place in Snowdin. It was quite busy at first, while Home was still heavily populated, but after New Home was built the bustle died down. I kind of liked it, having just a few loyal customers I could get to know properly. Spent most of my life working there. It was difficult moving to the surface, abandoning the old girl. I love felling the Sun on my flames, but my new place just doesn’t have as much personality,” he concluded, smirking. “...My throat hurts. I’m really not used to talking this much.”

Red grinned, turning his skull enough to nuzzle into Grillby’s shoulder. “I like it. you’ve got a nice voice, handsome. and you’re interesting, so that’s a plus,” he sighed. He felt Grillby’s warm hand stroke the back of his skull. “I’m sorry you lost them. i mean, i can’t relate exactly, but i know it hurts to lose someone. i can’t imagine what it’s like losing a soulmate.”

Grillby shrugged. “It was a very long time ago. I’ve lived a hundred times longer without them than I did with them, and it’s been long enough that I can remember them and be happy for the times we had together instead of just heartbroken,” he explained, then sighed, voice crackling in melancholy. “I still miss them. I probably always will. Even if I am happy with you.”

Red stilled, swallowing the lump in his throat. Huh. Grillby was happy being with him. With a slight implication that he expected their relationship to last for a while. He felt his cheekbones start burning. It felt terrifying and too good to be true at the same time. “i get it. of course you’re gonna miss someone you loved, i don’t expect you to somehow change your feelings. if being around me makes you happy, i’m good.”

Grillby’s hand paused, then gently gripped his skull in place while Red’s vision was suddenly full of Grillby’s handsome face. He closed his sockets as he felt the tickle of flames on his mouth, relaxing his body into the sensation. It was a slow kiss, nothing incredibly passionate and fiery, but Red’s entire body hummed in response. After who knows how long, Grillby pulled back, just enough for their eyes to meet. He saw the smile dancing in Grillby’s eyes and wanted nothing more in that moment than to push him down and worship him the way he deserved. “I’m very happy with you, Red,” Grillby murmured, and Red could do nothing but go in for another kiss.

Suddenly a wail pierced his ear holes, making him grimace. He looked down at Lucida who seemed to be upset over the proximity of another person to their dad, or maybe just hungry again. Red gave them a mock scowl, but he couldn’t help the goofy grin trying to spread over his face. “kid, we had a moment going. no cockblocking.”

He snickered at the crackle of annoyance Grillby made. “Red, you’re in front of a _child_.”

“relax, they can’t understand a word I’m saying,” Red said, gently rocking them. Lucy’s cries only fractionally decreased, so Red figured he’d have to get up and figure out why they were complaining. They weren’t hungry probably, he fed them maybe an hour ago. Did they dislike the heat Grillby gave off? Did something startle them? What was wrong? He had to wrestle down a jolt of panic at their distress. They just cried a bit, it didn’t immediately mean something was horribly wrong, despite his mind conjuring dozens of ways they could be in trouble.

Grillby scoffed, the sound coming out as more of a snap. “They don’t, but they will eventually. You might as well get into the habit now. Do you want your child’s first words to be swears?”

“I mean,” Red said, grinning, “it would be funny.” He grinned wider at the eyeroll he got in response. Unexpectedly, Grillby followed it up by extending his arms towards him, making a ‘gimme’ motion with his hands. “uh. you need something?”

“Let me hold Lucida for a bit. Have you even slept today?” Grillby asked, fiery eyebrow raised.

“i got a few snatches of sleep, i’ll be fine. kid keeps crying if i’m not holding them,” Red said, chuckling darkly. As much as he wanted to keep holding his child, he was dead tired and his soul kept screaming at him to get some sleep. But Lucida would start crying as soon as they left his arms, and only settled down once he held them again.

“…Let me try,” Grillby said, a subtle kind of confidence in his voice. Red hesitated for a moment, debating. Did he really need to sleep when his child needed him?

…Yes. Yes, he did. He nodded at Grillby, trying to jostle Lucy as little as possible as they changed hands, holding his breath as Grillby shifted them into a proper hold on his shoulder, lightly bouncing them. Red had to fight a very real urge to physically grab them back, but every moment Lucy kept crying steadily with nothing bad happening to them settled him down a bit. Grillby changed the crackles of his fire, making them quieter and more frequent, a soothing background noise that did wonders to relax Red as well as Lucida, if the gradual decrease of their volume was anything to go by. Red watched with a tired interest as Grillby gently rocked them, crackling and murmuring so softly he couldn’t understand what he was saying. It took a while, but Lucida started calming down, their cries winding down to hiccups and eventually cooing with the occasional whine.

“…They really are glaring at me. It’s actually impressive,” Grillby hummed, eyes wide. Red chuckled as he felt his own lids droop. He was ecstatic that Lucy seemed to like Grillby, and he sure didn’t expectit but was thrilled that the slow crackling and warmth made them go quiet until they dozed off, their little ribcage rising and falling in slow, even breaths once again. Grillby smiled at their sleeping face, eyes crinkling with a kind of satisfied joy he’d never quite seen him show before. When Grillby looked over to him and winked, Red felt his soul do a summersault.

“you know, you’re always hot babe, but you’re crazy attractive like this” Red said, just barely finishing the sentence before he yawned widely. Grillby’s flames shuddered in laughter.

“Go to _sleep_ , Red,” Grillby whispered, the flames on his face tinged blue. Red lost count of how many times he’d remembered that self-satisfied expression in the dead of night, but he’d never get tired of seeing Grillby look smug from his compliments.

Not to be a bad listener, Red slowly shuffled into a more horizontal position, nuzzling his face into Grillby’s side. His bed was warm, his boyfriend was happy, and best of all, Lucida was making little noises in their sleep, quiet and precious as a sign of how alive and healthy they were. Who could stay awake in such bliss?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fighting Grillby mentioned with his parent was over the fact that he felt stifled by them. They were pushing him to work with iron, making tools, weapons and other things as was family tradition, when Grillby was not only bad at it but hated it with a burning passion. As he grew older he felt like his parents were just constantly disappointed with him and they kept making jabs so he'd know it. They also had multiple fights about the rising hostility of humans, where he argued for joining the monsters and cutting relations with humans, sticking to his own, while his family wanted to keep trading with them, since most of their ironwork was bought by humans and they'd always been close to them. They thought their close relationship with them would keep them safe and on the winning side. When the war broke out, his family sided with the humans. It is unknown what happened to them after that.
> 
> [Here](https://www.durangosilver.com/content/royston-turquoise-gemstones-blue-spiderweb.jpg) is the kind of stone Grillby wears.


	17. Because brothers don’t let each other wander in the dark alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans eats popcorn at one point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a big reason why this chapter took me so long. Just the usual burn out, college classes and exams etc. Also I was in 2 Secret Santas. Oddly enough, I got the same prompts for both of them. 
> 
> Trigger warnings for this chapter: mentions of past sexual assault and abuse, self-hate, internalized victim blaming (?), everybody has PTSD and depression, insults, references to past alcoholism, discussion of self-harm and suicide. Tell me if I gotta tag some more.
> 
> Also [EEEEEEE FANART Y'ALL ](https://supernerdygirl.tumblr.com/post/170494987522/a-fan-pic-from-the-fan-fiction-bright-eyes-daddy)

Red will never understand why babies cry from hunger and then refuse to eat. “come on kid, you liked pea mush yesterday, it’s just as good now. just another bi-” he begged, but a stray foot kicked the hand he was holding the spoon with, making the green mush fly in a graceful arc right onto the recently-laundered carpet. Well. Good thing Papyrus liked cleaning. “…okay, guess you want bananas more. you could have asked like a civilized monster instead of this crying and kicking schtick.”

Red put the bowl with pea mush on the couch, lifting another one containing banana mush. Lucida had taken a liking to the fruit, and despite Red pushing them to eat different kinds of food banana was the only thing they would never refuse. Sure enough, when he prodded their mouth they opened wide and swallowed the spoon, then gurgled in glee, making a dribble of banana mixed with magic drool dribble down their chin. Red snickered as he brushed it off with a stray napkin. The kid was so messy it was adorable.

He scooped up another bite of banana for Lucy, then a spoonful of peas for himself, then more banana for Lucy. Their gurgling was awfully cute, even if they still looked grumpy. Red was starting to suspect their glare was just what their face naturally looked like. He was in the middle of making car sounds and swirling the spoon when Sans finally walked in, followed by Papyrus and Grillby. “okay, we’re all set. you good to go, red?” he asked.

Red shifted his weight nervously. It’s been 2 weeks since Lucida was born, and between the constant feeding, pacifying and check-ups Red had only had time to sleep because of the help of the skeleton brothers and his boyfriend. While Red was exhausted even with their help, he would be having the time of his life slowly getting to know his babybones, talking and playing with them…if it wasn’t for the promise he made to himself-that once the baby was born and he could defend himself, he’d go talk to his brother. His joints have mostly stopped aching, his magic was still weakened both from the pregnancy and from his exhaustion but it was the strongest it’s been in months, and with the mage meeting they were planning to crash (Red had no idea what the hell the plan was for that, he just knew that apparently his help would be needed so he agreed) the deadline to go visit his brother was closing in fast. It didn’t make the decision any easier.

“i’m ready,” he muttered. This would be the first time he left Lucida’s side for more than a few minutes. It was early afternoon, and the plan was to talk to his brother and return to this universe afterwards. He wasn’t even contemplating bringing a newborn into his universe, so Lucida would stay here, babysat by Papyrus.

“…I can stay, Red. It’s no trouble,” Grillby said, frowning.

“hot stuff, how many days did you miss since the kid was born? your bar won’t take care of itself. papyrus will be fine, and if he decides he needs help he has toriel’s number and yours,” Red explained with a fond smile, putting on the most confident voice he could. He didn’t want to imply that Papyrus couldn’t handle the infant-he’d been an incredibly fast learner and loved taking care of them (despite his quickly-developing trauma over the infant’s messiness), but he’d never had to take care of Lucida for more than an hour or two. And Red had never had to trust someone else to take care of them without being close enough to take over if need be. He’d wanted to call this trip off and stay here dozens of times in just the last hour, but he knew he had to do this. God, he was leaving his two-week-old child behind, what kind of shitty parent was he?

Red suppressed his frown, even if he couldn’t hold back his nervous sweating. He wasn’t just a father though, even if that role felt all-consuming now. He was also a brother. And he had a responsibility to talk to Boss after all the shit he put him through.

He handed over the infant with great reluctance, sighing in relief when they didn’t start crying but instead made little sounds in Papyrus’ arms, seeming fascinated by his face. Grillby seemed to plan to stick around until Papyrus got things under control, for which Red was thankful. Papyrus waved them off, already taking his place on the couch. He extended his hand towards Sans, and with a final nod they were in the Void.

“geez, this place is unnatural. i never liked spending time here,” Red mumbled into the emptiness, shaking off the static. Sans shrugged.

“eh, it’s kind of relaxing once you get used to it,” he said, looking around. It reminded Red of the way monsters back home would check for others nearby to avoid ambush. It made him think for the first time that, if _they_ could get here, any Sans could. This place felt a lot less relaxing all of a sudden.

“whatever you say, bonehead,” he mumbled, feeling for the layers of the Void. It was a weird process, where if he thought too hard about how weird or impossible it should be he’d suddenly be unable to do it. Not to mention he was slightly worried he wouldn’t be able to find his own universe anymore, buried underneath all the possibilities. He touched the fabric of it, concentrating on his brother and their house and the smell of old wood, and suddenly one layer stood out to him, only now noticing the layer to Sans’ world was strange and alien, now that he knew what his own felt like from the outside. He smiled, wide and relieved. “found it. give me a sec,” he said, keeping a feeling on the layer as he summoned a blaster.

It was strangely exhilarating to feel his magic whirr and condense again after months of sparing it. He let out a blast, the warmth and static on his bones forcing him to bite his tongue so he wouldn’t giggle like a child. He wasn’t the kind of person to gain satisfaction from wasting energy normally, but he had a sudden urge to just whip out a dozen blasters and go to town. Instead, he kept firing, steady until he felt the fabric give. Only then did he dispel his blaster, grabbing Sans’ elbow and pulling him along, jumping through the hole before it closed only moments later. He managed to land mostly on his feet thanks to grabbing a nearby tree for support, but Sans let out a muffled yell before he faceplanted into the snow.

Red felt his magic buzz harder in agitation the moment he smelled the familiar dust in the air. He let his eye light activate slowly, flickering into existence as his magic readied itself after months of calm. This place still felt the same. He still couldn’t breathe all the way in with how heavy the air was.

There really is no place like home.

“so this is underfell, huh?” Sans muttered as he slowly raised himself from the snow, a little too softly to be addressing Red and a little too loud for him not to hear it. Red frowned.

“underfell? the hell are you talking about?” Red whispered, checking his surroundings. Seems they were in the forest, not far away from Snowdin. He could see some of the rooftops through the foliage, and if he got their current location right he knew a small, well-sheltered path that would get them very close to his old house. Sans dusted off his hoodie quietly, looking around. The corners of his smile were just a little too tight, showing his discomfort with the atmosphere. Red idly wondered if this guy even knew what monster dust smelled like. Red shushed him and waved at him to follow.

It was dark out but not quite night yet and Red could taste an approaching storm in the cold, dense air, so thankfully when they approached the main street it was deserted. It will probably be a pretty bad snowstorm when it hits, and it will hit soon. Before he left for the new universe, Red had detested those storms-nothing quite like a pile of freezing hell mush taller than you that you had to plough through to get to work to ruin your morning. Now it was a stroke of luck he didn’t expect.

“that’s the name of your universe. yours is underfell, mine is undertale. there’s a bunch of other ones, too,” Sans whispered, shuffling quietly two steps behind Red, thankfully sticking close without need for prompting. Red surveyed the area, checking for monsters. When he saw that they really were alone and the only lit windows nearby were empty, he proceeded as fast and quietly as he could to his front door.

“did you name them? cuz those names suck ass,” he complained, checking the long road through Snowdin apprehensively. He pulled out his old key and put it in the lock. Or, he tried to. The key didn’t fit. “fuck, did my bro change the damn lock?! ugh, this is stupid,” he growled, jiggling the lock a few more times before he flung the key into the snow, then grabbed Sans’ hand and took a shortcut into his old living room.

Out of the freezing wind the inside of the house felt cozy, even if the décor was frankly depressing. He whipped his head around, looking for signs of his brother. Thankfully, he wasn’t here yet. Boss was likely to attack anyone in the house on sight if they were unannounced. One didn’t survive this world for long by asking questions first.

“nah, i didn’t make up the names,” Sans said, looking around the house. He scratched his iliac crest before flinging himself on the couch, almost melting into it. Seems he found the indentation of Red’s own pelvis in the cushions. “guess you could say a little birdie told me.”

“you know you’re not nearly as cool as you think you are when you start with that enigmatic bullshit, right?” Red mumbled, slowly cracking his knuckles. Well, crap. He didn’t know how long his brother would be out on his patrol, so he’d have to wait. He fought down the urge to start pacing, it wouldn’t do him any good anyways. What if his brother wasn’t on patrol, though? Loads of things could change in 4 months. Maybe his schedule changed. Maybe he’d moved to a smaller place, now that he didn’t have a brother to share a house with? Maybe he…He couldn’t have…

Red shook his head. The house was clean. If his brother was gone, it would be dusty at the very least, if not ransacked by opportunistic monsters. He power walked to the fridge, opening it too fast to hide the shaking of his hands. In it were several containers full of leftovers, a sandwich and a bottle of mustard, the same one he’d left the day before he disappeared. Red opened one of the plastic containers of Boss’ cooking attempts. The food seemed freshly made, so his brother must have cooked it a day or two ago. He felt the squeezing pressure in his soul let up a little.

He grabbed the bottle of mustard from the fridge, taking a deep gulp before walking over to Sans and offering. Sans made a disappointed face, but he still took a swig. It took them less than 5 minutes to finish the bottle, after which Red gave up on appearances and started pacing after all. Sans seemed perfectly content to relax on the couch, looking asleep to anyone who would see him. Red knew better.

“sans? do you think lucida’s ok?” Red blurted out, cracking his knuckles more frantically. He heard Sans sigh from the couch.

“i know it’s tough being away from the kid, but papyrus is taking great care of ‘em. if something goes wrong, he’ll call tori, and she definitely knows how to take care of kids, so relax,” Sans said, tone mellow and confident. Red swallowed heavily.

“am i-am i a bad parent for leaving them?”

He saw Sans’ sockets snap open, looking at him incredulously. “what the-dude. you’ll be gone for a few hours tops, and you have a babysitter that will take care of them. this definitely isn’t something that makes you a bad parent, geez. parents take a few hour breaks from their kids to get stuff done, it’s perfectly normal.”

“i know, but…i just. i shouldn’t be away from them. who will protect them if not me? what if someone tries to dust them?” Red shuddered, his mind immediately shying from even imagining it. Fuck, he’d gone soft in Sans’ world, and now that he was back home every little anxiety and fear came flooding back. It was easy to pretend the world was different when he didn’t breathe in the oppressive air of his home.

Sans snapped his fingers, Red immediately turning to face the noise. Once he had his attention, Sans spoke. “red. i know you’re freaking out, but my bro’s got it. he’ll protect lucida at any cost and you know it. you trust him with your kid, remember? just breathe.”

Red wanted to snarl at him but managed to contain it to a mere low growl. He was right. He trusted Papyrus. He trusted him to take care of and protect his child and to ask for help if he couldn’t handle it. Lucy would be alright. He took a shaky breathy, as deep as he could, then let it out. They would be fine. It was just the god damn taste of dust in the air getting to him. He wasn’t even sure if the dust really was there or if his mind was playing tricks on him again. His socket itched.

He nodded at Sans in agreement, watching the skeleton curl back into his spot, feeling eye lights on the back of his neck as he resumed his pacing. Thinking of Lucida helped him steel his resolve. He wasn’t just thinking he had to get back to them. No, he will definitely _do_ it. No matter what.

It took a while, Red unsure of just how long he’d been walking in circles and Sans almost dozing off for real, before the door handle jiggled and the door swung open, the sound of the whipping wind blaring. He didn’t even have time to open his mouth before he felt the weight of a blue attack on his soul, his weight suddenly increasing and toppling him to the floor. He heard Sans’ grunt and thump as he fell off the couch, soon drowned out by the sound of his own labored breathing.

He saw a familiar silhouette walk through the doorway, the room dark enough to hide his face apart from the faint glow of his right hand, keeping them pinned down. The taller skeleton sighed, closing the door before turning on the light switch. “ARE YOU PEOPLE REALLY SO STUPID THAT YOU’D GO AND ROB THE HOUSE OF THE SECOND IN COMMAND OF- _BROTHER_?!”

“fuck, it’s me boss, don’t stab me!” Red shouted, taking a shuddery, relieved breath when the blue magic lifted from his soul. He didn’t mean to scare his brother, but he overestimated how quickly he could talk. He coughed once to get his magic flowing right, then sat up with a groan. Crap, that startled him. He didn’t have long to recover, because he saw a pair of shiny red boots stomp closer to him as a sudden aura of anger permeated the room. He raised his head and properly looked at his brother for the first time in months, and he was not prepared for it.

Papyrus wore an expression of utter shock, and worryingly an edge of fury held in check only by his surprise. Red knew he didn’t have long before his brother blew up. In the time he’d been gone he’d gained a new nick on the bottom of his mandible, and he saw the lines underneath his sockets had deepened. His posture still looked like someone stuck a broom through his pelvis and tied it to his spine, as it always had been, but there was a certain overwound quality to it that made him think it took more effort than usual just to do something that came natural to him.

His brother looked exhausted.

Papyrus opened his mouth a few times, as if to speak, just to close it again. He seemed frozen in his spot, even the hand he used to summon his attacks still raised. Finally, he swallowed and managed to talk, and Red winced at how unnaturally even his voice was. “BROTHER. YOU’RE ALIVE.”

Red tried to smile, but it was more of a grimace. “uh. yup. alive and kicking.”

“YOU’VE BEEN MISSING FOR 4 MONTHS.”

“there’s actually a pretty good reason i-”

“YOU DISAPPEARED 4 MONTHS AGO, WITHOUT ANY SORT OF NOTE, SIGN OR ANYBODY NOTICING YOU LEFT.”

Red felt the sweat gathering under his mandible. That edge of anger was definitely starting to break through Papyrus’ even tone. “yeah, i fucked up a bit there. i’m sorry boss. i-”

“YOU FUCKED UP? YOU FUCKED UP A BIT??? WELL THANK YOU FOR THAT GRATIOUS ADDMITTANCE, BROTHER! HOW KIND OF YOU TO SAY SO!” Papyrus screeched, the sudden burst of anger in his tone making Red flinch. Hoo boy, here we go. “YOU ONLY WENT COMPLETELY MISSING FOR 4 MONTHS, AND THEN STROLLED INTO THE HOUSE LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE THE REASON FOR AN APOLOGY?!”

Red grimaced. “boss, can i just-”

“NO! I DON’T CARE! 4 MONTHS SANS! 4 MONTHS OF ME SEARCHING THE ENTIRE UNDERGROUND FOR YOU! 4 MONTHS OF ASKING EVERY MONSTER I MET IF THEY HAD AN IDEA WHERE YOU WERE! 4 MONTHS OF FINISHING MY SHIFTS AS QUICKLY AS I COULD JUST TO SEARCH FOR YOU THROUGH THE NIGHT! 4 MONTHS OF HAVING NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED!”

Red winced, torn between growing irritation at the interruptions and the well-earned, soul-breaking guilt. “shit, i didn’t mean to-”

“DID YOU KNOW THAT UNDYNE HAD TO SIT ME DOWN A MONTH IN AND TELL ME YOU WERE PROBABLY DUST? TO GIVE UP? BUT NO, I FIGURED YOU COULDN’T HAVE DIED JUST LIKE THAT, SO I KEPT LOOKING FOR YOU. YOU ALWAYS WERE GOOD AT RUNNING FROM FIGHTS, AND NOBODY SAW ANYTHING, I THOUGHT YOU MUST HAVE SURVIVED!” Papyrus screamed, panting. “DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MONSTERS LAUGHED IN MY FACE FOR STILL LOOKING FOR YOU? I HELD YOUR FUNERAL 2 WEEKS AGO, SANS! I HAD TO HOLD IT WITHOUT YOUR DUST, BECAUSE NOBODY FOUND IT. EVEN I COULDN’T KEEP DELUDING MYSELF FOREVER.”

“i-i’m sorry, boss. can i-”

“SO TELL ME SANS. WHAT. THE FUCK. COULD POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU DISAPPEARED FOR 4 MONTHS, YOU UNBEARABLE PISSANT? AND WHO IS THIS ASSHOLE?!” Papyrus yelled, gesturing in Sans’ general direction. Sans gave him a vague wave from his position on the floor.

“well maybe if you let me fucking talk I COULD TELL YOU, YOU ASSHOLE,” Red yelled, throwing his arms in the air. He felt his face heat up immediately in shame. God, what kind of shit pile was he to yell at his brother for being mad over his supposed death?!

Papyrus leaned back, anger melting away in surprise. Then his sockets widened and his browbones furrowed in outrage. “SINCE WHEN THE FUCK DO YOU TALK BACK TO ME?!”

“since i wanted to fucking explain what the fuck happened and you keep interrupting me! I fucked up horribly and i’m a piece of shit and you can take it out on me however you like and i’ll let you, but fucking-don’t assume i just fucked off somewhere for 4 months without telling you for no reason, shit!” Red spit out, panting. He was screaming internally-he absolutely had no right to act the least bit mad after the stunt he pulled, but he was still irritated. His brother seemed so damn upset, too. Not just mad. Worried. Red…hadn’t been expecting that, to be honest. He thought he might worry his brother, _maybe_. He was not ready for his bro to run himself ragged trying to find him. This made absolutely no sense.

Papyrus was panting from his outburst, still looking outraged. Red watched him rub his temples, forcing his breaths to slow down. It took a long, awkward minute until his breaths evened out and he blinked his sockets open, his eye lights extinguished into their natural state.

“FINE. EXPLAIN,” he spit out, keeping an eye on Sans.

Red got up with a groan, rubbing at his now aching coccyx. Fuck, if he hadn’t set the carpet on fire that one time maybe his current reacquaintance with the floor wouldn’t have hurt so much. He managed to pull himself to the kitchen chair with a heave, leaning his elbows on the table. Papyrus stood straight, arms crossed in front of his ribcage, leaning on the kitchen table with his hip and badly playing at being relaxed. “fuck, where do i even start…” Red muttered.

“FROM THE BEGINNING, OBVIOUSLY. OR WHEREVER THIS PARTICULAR EXPLANATION STARTS FROM.”

Red chuckled, sweat gathering on his forehead. Oh boy. “well, it starts with me going out one night to get smashed and ending up, er. knocked up.”

Papyrus blinked once, slowly. He hung his head down, gloved hand starting to rub circles into his nasal bones. “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS, BROTHER.”

“eyup,” Red answered nervously. “and, uh. i decided to keep the kid.”

Papyrus froze, then snapped his skull up, gaze burning right through Red’s skull. “YOU-HAVE YOU FINALLY GONE COMPLETELY INSANE, BROTHER?! YOU _KEPT_ THEM?! YOU HAVE 1 HP, DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT A COLLOSALLY MORONIC AND DANGEROUS IDEA THAT IS?! WHAT, LIVING UNDERGROUND ISN’T QUITE ENOUGH OF AN ADRENALINE RUSH SO YOU ADDED CHILDBIRTH AND NO MAGIC TO THE LIST OF THINGS THAT CAN KILL YOU?! YOU KNOW PEOPLE WITH MUCH MORE HP HAVE DIED FROM IT, RIGHT???”

“i fucking know, alright?! but i just couldn’t do it!” Red exclaimed, fighting down the urge to yell. “and i couldn’t fucking tell you cuz you would have been against it.”

“OF COURSE I WOULD HAVE BEEN AGAINST IT!!! OUT OF ALL THE SUICIDAL SHIT YOU’VE DONE, THIS IS EASILY THE WORST OFFENDER!” he screeched. “HOW EXACTLY WERE YOU PLANNING ON STAYING ALIVE, HUH? DO YOU HAVE A MATE I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THAT WOULD PROTECT YOU? OR WAS _I_ SUPPOSED TO KEEP YOU ALIVE?”

Red sighed, fighting the urge to rub his nasal bones too. “no and no. i wouldn’t ask you to clean up after my own colossal screw-ups. so i kind of…got out of here. went to a safe place. i figured i’d stay there until i was strong enough to come back, but…i don’t think i’ll be living here again. i can’t risk my kid getting hurt,” Red said, a sharp stabbing sensation right in his soul. He decided on this before already, he couldn’t bring Lucy here. But saying it made it more real, and he was surprised how lost it made him feel. Like a chapter of his life had officially been closed. “I came back as soon as i could to tell you.”

Papyrus looked at him, face blank and unreadable, posture screaming that he was a Royal Guard, as inappropriate as that authority was in the moment. Red used to pride himself in being able to read his brother. Whenever he acted tough to hide his fear, whenever he acted happy to cheer him up, whenever he smiled to cover the fact that he was starving, Sans knew exactly what his brother was feeling. But at some point over the years Papyrus learned to hide behind his face and Red no longer had any idea what he was thinking when his expression became a mask. It was honestly the most terrifying thing his brother could do, and it was even worse because Red knew he had a hand in changing him like that. In making him realize how much he needed to know how to hide.

With a slow, even breath, Papyrus turned on his heel and stalked to the kitchen. Red heard the clank of metal and glass as his brother rummaged through the cupboards, then the click of his brother’s heels on wood as he returned with a bottle and two glasses. He slammed them down a little harder than necessary, but thankfully the glass didn’t crack. He opened the bottle filled halfway with some unidentifiable liquor with practiced ease, then tipped a glass and started pouring. Red kind of expected him to stop once he poured around two finger widths in, but Papyrus just kept on going until the brown, sharp-smelling liquid almost reached the brim. With a hearty swig, he downed nearly half the glass in one go before setting it down and pushing the bottle towards Red, along with the empty glass. “OKAY, _NOW_ YOU CAN START FROM THE BEGINNING, AND ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE THIS TIME,” he said, exhaustion dripping from his tone. “YOU GOT KNOCKED UP. I’M PUTTING THAT ON THE SIDE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY SKULL HURTS. THEN WHAT HAPPENED?”

Red grabbed the bottle and motioned to Sans in offer, secretly glad the other skeleton refused with a wave and a flabbergasted look aimed in Papyrus’ direction. More for him. He ignored the glass and drank straight from the bottle. He almost gagged at the foul burning in his mouth. He knew he’d chugged worse and in much, much greater amounts, but 7 months sober made his taste buds regrow just to be burned off again by whatever the hell this drink was. When he put down the bottle he was greeted by his brother’s face sneering in disgust at his manners. Maybe 4 months without seeing Red’s slovenly ways ruined his tolerance too?

“so you know how i can take those weird shortcuts, right?” Red started, wincing at the taste in his mouth. Papyrus looked at him for a second, then slowly nodded. Red wasn’t surprised. His brother wasn’t so stupid he’d believe Red could go from one end of the Underground to the other in minutes with just a normal shortcut. “it’s a bit complicated to explain, but i can basically…slip into a place that isn’t really a place, and then exit it in whatever real place i want.”

Papyrus hummed, swirling the contents of his glass. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN A PLACE THAT ISN’T A PLACE?”

“it’s a place that you can’t access normally called the void. it’s just a giant-ass space outside of physical reality, and the thing is, if you go through it, you can access other universes. which i did. i, uh, basically traveled to a parallel universe?” Red explained with an awkward chuckle, then pointed at Sans lounging on the couch. “this bonehead here is me. an alternate universe version of me. he’s also a huge dick.”

“sup,” Sans answered, the faint crunching sound of popcorn following his answer. Where the fuck did this guy even get popcorn?

Papyrus blinked, then slowly massaged his nasal bones before downing the rest of his glass. “ALRIGHT. THIS ENTIRE SITUATION IS BULLSHIT, BUT ALRIGHT. SO YOU BROKE THE LAWS OF NATURE, WENT TO A PARALLEL UNIVERSE AND, DUE TO BETTER SAFETY CONDITIONS, SPENT 4 MONTHS THERE. CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO ME WHY YOU DIDN’T EVEN BOTHER TO COME TO ME AND TELL ME ANY OF THIS, EVEN BEFORE YOU SUDDENLY DECIDED TO FUCK OFF TO A DIFFERENT WORLD?”

Red felt sweat collecting in the fur of his jacket. “first, because it wasted a lot of magic i didn’t have to universe hop plus it’s risky and second, what would it change? you would have screamed at me for being stupid and you wouldn’t have been able to help anyways. it would be just another chore for you,” he explained, swallowing heavily. “i didn’t think that you’d be looking for me so hard. I thought it would be easier on you, if you didn’t have to babysit me like you always do.”

Papyrus’ gaze snapped up, and finally that mask shifted out of place to reveal a sliver of genuine anger. “SANS, YOU ARE MY BROTHER, IT IS MY DUTY TO PROTECT YOU AND CARE FOR YOU! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT IF YOU KEEP QUIET ABOUT EVERY DAMN THING?”

“and how exactly did you plan to protect me, huh?!” Red barked, gripping the bottle of liquor harder. “by being in three places at once? boss, you have maybe 5 hours a day off when you’re not doing your royal guard work! you run yourself ragged every day and insist you’re fine, how exactly can i dump more responsibilities on you when you barely have enough time to eat?!

“How exactly did you plan to protect me, bro? follow me wherever I go? you don’t have time for that. locking me in the house? i know you wouldn’t and it wouldn’t even help. you couldn’t protect me when i still had my magic, and this would be even worse!”

“WH-I DID PROTECT YOU! MY REPUTATION HELD MONSTERS OFF YOU! NOBODY WOULD DARE ATTACK A BROTHER OF MINE!”

“they would, boss! i was attacked a shit ton of times, and i ran away or fought them myself because even if you made some hold back, it didn’t protect me completely! and that was fine! i could handle myself, i wasn’t going to make you do the impossible! but it wouldn’t have fucking worked!” Red snapped, trying his best not to crack the bottle still in his grip. “i decided to keep the kid, and i did what i had to do to protect them, and if fucking off to a different world is what i had to do, so be it. i’m sorry boss, but you can’t do everything just by trying harder. you can’t protect everyone.”

Papyrus stared at him, sockets open wide. There was a tightness in his mouth, a shimmer in his sockets that Red couldn’t place, as familiar as it was. It took him several seconds of holding his gaze to remember the sound of wet inhales and shuddering exhales that went with the expression. Papyrus wouldn’t cry, not anymore and certainly not in front of others. But this was the closest he would get to it outside of his own room. Red knew what it felt like to crack his brother’s skull open, and he knew how it felt to break his soul. Didn’t he promise himself he wouldn’t hurt him anymore?

“SO…YOU NEVER NEEDED MY PROTECTION IN THE FIRST PLACE. YOU NEVER NEEDED-” he spat, voice surprisingly even and tinged with bitterness. “I GUESS IT DOESN’T MATTER. IT’S NOT LIKE ANYTHING I DO…”

Red winced. Why the fuck did he even say anything? He didn’t know keeping him safe was so important to his brother. He should have kept is mouth shut for once in his miserable life. “i’m sorry, bro. i didn’t mean that, you helped me so much-”

He cut himself off when Papyrus leveled his glare back at him. “DON’T STOP NOW, SANS. YOU WERE FINALLY BEING HONEST. I THINK THIS IS THE FIRST PROPER TALK WE’VE HAD IN THE LAST 8 YEARS OR SO, DON’T RUIN THE EXPERIENCE BY BACKTRACKING,” Papyrus spat out, his sockets still shimmering as his brows furrowed. “I JUST WISH YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD ME I WAS USELESS SOONER, IT CERTAINLY WOULD HAVE BEEN EASIER ON THE BOTH OF US. I THOUGHT I WAS HELPING YOU. I DIDN’T _LIKE_ SCREAMING AT YOU OR TAKING YOU AWAY FROM GRILLBY’S OR KICKING YOU AWAKE, YOU KNOW. BUT I THOUGHT I WAS HELPING. I-I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS.”

“holy shit bro, no! you’re not useless, you never fucking were useless!” he exclaimed, hearing the sound of rustling coming from his room. Sans must have left them at some point to give them privacy. “do you know how hard it was for me to get up in the morning and go to work? how difficult it was just to get out of bed? every time i couldn’t get up, i did it anyways because of you. because if you were trying so hard, i had to too. and i know i wasn’t good enough. some days i went to grillby’s and drank myself stupid without telling you instead of working because it was better than sitting on my bed, scratching my socket to dust. and some days i scratched my socket to dust because it was better than jumping off a bridge. you kicking my ass-it did annoy me, but i needed it when i couldn’t get up on my own. i just wish you also saw that i really was trying my best. maybe not by your standards, but it was my best. maybe not perfect, but sort of functioning. that i wasn’t just…giving up.”

Papyrus blinked, brows furrowed. He gently turned his head away, glaring tiredly at the floor. Red took a deep, shaky breath. “why did you even bother with me, boss? after what i did to ya? stars know i never even apologized for it. why didn’t you just leave me behind when you got older? i was just a lazy drunk and a pain in your pelvis you had to take care of. did you do it just because you thought you had to?”

Papyrus’ sockets snapped open and his jaw hung low. Then his face contorted in outrage, or maybe guilty insult. “WHAT? NO, OF COURSE NOT. I STAYED WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE MY BROTHER. NOTHING CHANGES THAT.”

“bro, i slammed you into a wall and-i hurt you. i hurt you when i was supposed to be the one protecting you,” Red whispered, shame making his cheekbones burn. Instead of getting angry, as Red expected, Papyrus just huffed lightly in irritation.

“AND I DON’T CARE. IT’S BEEN YEARS, SANS, AND YOU WERE CLEARLY UPSET THAT DAY ANYWAYS. I SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN SO PUSHY-”

Red smacked his hand on the table. “papyrus, no! it wasn’t your job to tip-toe around me! you were a kid, no kid should have to know exactly what to do just to not get their femur broken! don’t you dare blame yourself for that!”

“WELL YOU WERE A KID TOO! YOU KEEP ACTING LIKE YOU WERE A GROWN-UP THAT ABUSED ME AND THAT SHOULD BE HATED FOR EVEN BREATHING WHEN YOU WERE A 16 YEAR OLD THAT JUST GOT _ASSULTED_ , OF-FUCKING-COURSE YOU BLEW UP!!!”

“well i shouldn’t-!” Red yelled, choking on his words. Then he paused, his mouth feeling bone dry. He felt his eye lights waver while he processed his brother’s words, unbelieving. It was only when he saw Papyrus’ browbones furrow in guilt did he feel his soul drop. “…how do you know that. how do you know i got…”

Papyrus looked to the side. The old childhood habit he had of looking away with a blush when he felt guilty made something twitch in his soul. Red welcomed it in his numbness. “I DON’T THINK THAT’S IMPORTANT FOR-”

“papyrus, you will tell me where and when you learned that. it happened to me and i want to know. now,” Red said evenly, voice cold. He thought his eye lights might have flickered out, but all he could focus on was the itchy feeling in his socket.

Papyrus shifted his weight, his ribcage rising and falling several times as he thought, leaning away slightly. Uncomfortable. Red felt a cold sort of anger creep through his bones, that his brother knew something he spent so long hiding. Nobody had a right to know about it if he didn’t tell them. He didn’t want people to pity him or mock him, or just act as if it really happened. He just wanted to pretend that he was a normal monster, one that wasn’t assaulted or a complete wreck. The last person he wanted to know how weak he was was his brother.

He almost thought Papyrus would stay quiet regardless, until he raised his eye lights and locked them with Red’s. “…I HAD A ROYAL GUARD MISSION TO OBTAIN SOME REPORTS FROM THE LAB. DOCTOR ALPHYS DIDN’T HAVE THEM, SO SHE POINTED ME IN THE DIRECTION OF SOME OF THE RETIRED FORMER SCIENTISTS. WHEN THEY SAW ME, THEY MENTIONED KNOWING ANOTHER SKELETON AND SOME…UNSAVORY THINGS. AFTER I… _PERSUADED_ THEM TO TALK, THEY EXPLAINED WHAT HAPPENED. I REALIZED WHAT DATE YOU WERE…AND IT MADE SENSE OF CERTAIN THINGS. I LEARNED ABOUT IT 5 YEARS AGO.” he explained, voice steady and clear, as if giving a report. “I’M SORRY, SANS. I SHOULDN’T HAVE KEPT THIS FROM YOU, I KNOW. BUT I DIDN’T KNOW IF IT WOULD HURT YOU MORE OR MAKE THINGS WORSE OR-I’M SO SORRY.”

Red stared at his brother, his eye lights out. He couldn’t even think of what to do with that information. His brother knew about it. His baby bro knew he was raped. A lonely, hateful feeling bloomed in his soul, and he had the sudden urge to take his magic out and destroy everything he could get his hands on. Maybe punch something until his hands dusted. This wasn’t fair.

He sneered, smile right on the edge of threatening. Papyrus didn’t seem scared though, not even uncomfortable like before. He just looked upset. “so is this a pity thing? this…nagging and cooking for me and trying to play nice with me? want to make your broken, sexually assaulted bro feel better and not off himself cuz you feel guilty? is that why you put up with me all this time? cuz you feel guilty for something you didn’t even do? cuz you gotta save your useless shitpile of a brother?” he asked, voice flat. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling right now. He wasn’t mad exactly, and the betrayal faded quickly when he saw his brother’s upset face. Anxious? Afraid. He was afraid. Because what if Papyrus answered ‘yes’?

“THAT’S ENOUGH, SANS!” Papyrus hissed, the shimmering at the edges of his sockets increasing. He looked like he was scared all of a sudden, but Sans didn’t know of what, and how can he protect his baby bro if he doesn’t tell him what scares him?

“OF FUCKING COURSE NOT! YOU’RE MY FAMILY, ONE OF THE ONLY PEOPLE I CAN TRUST IN THIS SHITHOLE! ONE OF THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT ISN’T AFRAID OF ME AND DOESN’T ASK ME FOR ANYTHING, OR-” he exclaimed, sniffing, “IF I DON’T HAVE YOU, WHO DO I HAVE? DON’T YOU _EVER_ ASK ME AGAIN IF I ONLY DO THIS OUT OF PITY OR FUCKING _OBLIGATION_. BECAUSE YOU KNOW SHIT-ALL ABOUT WHAT IT’S LIKE TO SEE YOUR ONLY FAMILY CONSTANTLY HALF A STEP AWAY FROM FALLING DOWN AND THEY REFUSE TO TALK TO YOU. YOU DON’T KNOW A FUCKING _THING_ ABOUT HOW IT WAS, KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR EVERY DAY AND WONDERING IF THIS WAS THE NIGHT I FOUND A PILE OF DUST OR A FUCKING SUICIDE NOTE, OR HOW MANY NIGHTS YOU WENT OUT TO GET PLASTERED OR SCREW AND I SAT AT MY DESK, WRITING REPORTS AND HOPING SOMEONE DIDN’T DUST YOU, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!”

Red blinked, taking a few seconds too long to figure out Papyrus was now sobbing, honest to fuck sobbing in front of him for the first time since the night he hurt him. He forgot what an ugly crier he was, snot already dripping from his nasal aperture as he tried to wipe his sockets with his sleeves. He forgot how much it broke his heart to see him like this.

“D-DON’T YOU DARE SAY I DON’T CARE, EVER AGAIN!!!”

“fuck, i’m sorry bro, i-” he exclaimed, breaking out of his numb stupor and straight into panic. Oh stars, he swore he’d never make his brother cry again, and look at him now. He just didn’t know how not to wreck what was left of their relationship to dust, because of fucking course he didn’t, he was just a waste of space-

He remembered the warmth of arms around him, a comfort when words didn’t come. Could he do that? He was terrified, he couldn’t just give his brother a hug after years of barely talking, right?

…Yes he could. He came here to fix things. Papyrus did what he could to make things work, keeping them both alive and functioning. It was high time for him to get off his ass and do something, instead of waiting around for things to magically change. He slid out of his chair and came closer to his brother, scuffing his shoes against the wooden floor. Papyrus’ head snapped back up, glaring straight at him to seem tough. The violent sniffs and choked sobs ruined the usually scary image, but it just made Red think about how strong his brother was. Not even tears broke his fighting spirit.

He opened his arms, approaching slowly. Papyrus seemed frozen, browbones furrowed in confusion that broke Red’s soul, but he let him come closer. Red put his arms slowly under his and around his ribcage, gently squeezing. His brother was so big now, he felt immovable. Red wished he had done more of this, seen him grow from closer up.

He buried his face into his brother’s sternum, ignoring the jostles from every shaky inhale Papyrus took, every sob that made his ribcage jolt. Then, with a gentleness he saw Papyrus use many times, he felt arms wrap around his head and body, leaving him protected from the outside world. Strange. He did this to comfort his brother, but it looked like Papyrus was comforting him as well.

Red closed his sockets, evening out his breathing. “i’m sorry i doubted you, bro. i could never forgive myself for what i did, so i always thought you couldn’t either. i should have known you could do anything, heh.”

He felt Papyrus’ ribcage shudder a bit in silent laughter, Red feeling like he did the right thing at least once this evening. Well, he was on a roll. Like Papyrus said, no backtracking-only forward. “i was the older one, i hurt you first and i should have made the first step. instead i just…drew back into hating myself instead of doing anything to fix things. but i did miss you, bro. thought about you every day when i was gone, hoped you were alive and in one piece, wondered if something happened that made this shithole even more unsafe…kind of rich coming from someone that drank himself stupid and then spent nights who-knows-where, but i always worried about you, papyrus. i’m sorry i wasn’t a better big bro.”

Papyrus sniffed, moving one arm just enough to wipe his sockets. “YOU WERE AN AMAZING BROTHER, SANS. I REMEMBER YOU PROTECTING ME ALL THOSE TIMES, AND HOW YOU WORKED SO WE’D HAVE FOOD AND CLOTHES AND THIS HOUSE. I SHOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO FIX THINGS, I JUST…DIDN’T KNOW HOW.”

“you helped me so much, bro. i doubt i’d still be around if it wasn’t for you,” Red said into his chest, squeezing a little tighter. It had been years since he gave his brother a hug. It felt different from the ones from their babybones days-his brother was much, much harder to wrap his arms around, for starters-but after the first awkwardness faded it was incredibly familiar. As if they never took a break in the first place.

They stayed like that for a bit, Red gently stroking his brother’s back until he felt his breathing even out again. “…WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BABY?” Papyrus asked quietly. As quietly as Papyrus could, anyways.

Red smiled wide, thinking of his wriggling pile of blankets and bones. “had them and they’re doing just fine. and let me tell you you don’t wanna know what giving birth is like. they’re healthy and mad as hell. called ‘em lucida. they kinda look like you, actually.”

Papyrus hummed, ribs vibrating lightly with the noise. “I HAVE TO SAY, THE IDEA OF YOU BEING A PARENT IS…STRANGE. AND WORRYING.”

“aw, come on bro, give me a little credit. i got the best dad jokes in 2 universes,” he said with a shit eating grin, chuckling when he heard his brother sigh.

“I SUPPOSE. YOU DID RAISE ME, SO MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE A HIGHER OPINION OF YOUR PARENTING SKILLS,” Papyrus murmured. That was…much kinder than Red expected, honestly. He took a step back, smile on his face feeling a bit awkward but genuine. Papyrus seemed to have calmed down and was awkwardly looking to the side.

“so. you wanna come with?” he blurted out, regretting it for a moment before he remembered he actually wanted to ask that for once. His motor mouth was starting to embarrass him in advance, just in case.

Papyrus stared at him, posture getting just slightly more rigid. It was when he looked just a bit to the side and over Red’s shoulder that Red felt a sinking sensation in his ribcage. “…you’re not coming.”

Papyrus sighed, shutting his sockets tight, rubbing them with his fingers in a gesture that made him seem tired. “I DON’T KNOW, SANS. THEY NEED ME HERE. UNDYNE CAN’T HANDLE EVERYTHING, MOST OF THE FUCKING ROYAL GUARD ONLY LOOKS AFTER THEIR OWN SKIN-WHO’S GOING TO PROTECT THE MONSTERS IF I LEAVE? I’M THE ONLY ONE PEOPLE KNOW WILL AT LEAST LISTEN TO THEM WITHOUT HAVING TO BE BRIBED.”

Red stared at his brother, taking in the run-down and almost guilty posture. He missed this completely, didn’t he? He completely missed that his brother still wanted to be the hero. “boss, come on. you can’t fix this place, alright? nobody can fix this shithole anymore. we lost all the souls, we’re not getting out for centuries and monsters are just gonna keep getting worse. it’s cool and heroic to go down with a sinking ship trying to help others, sure, but it’s not, and never will be, smart. you don’t owe them that. you don’t owe them _shit_.”

“I OWED THEM THAT WHEN I BECAME THE ROYAL GUARD. I TOOK MY VOWS TO PROTECT AND SERVE, AND SOMEONE IN THIS DAMN PLACE HAS TO PROTECT AND SERVE INSTEAD OF HARASS AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF,” Papyrus explained, refusing to raise his skull. Red growled, anger and panic bubbling in his throat. He refused to lose his brother again. Not now, when a nagging sense of premonition told him it would be for good this time. He’d lost him for what he thought was forever once already, and once was enough. He stomped his way to Papyrus’ side, waiting until his brother would look at him. When he instead furrowed his brows and stubbornly glared to the side, Red took his chin firmly but gently and raised it, Papyrus allowing the movement but still avoiding his gaze.

“i missed you, bro,” he said, quiet and clear, and finally Papyrus looked at him. “i fucked up. i fucked up everything and i wanted things to be different so many times, and i never had the guts to go and do something about it. i mean, what was the point? even if we made up and went back to how we used to be, i’d still be a wreck, you’d still have your work, we’d still know what i’m capable of, and this world would still do its damn best to break us down.”

Red swallowed, glad his brother was staying quiet, patiently waiting. “it’s different over there. i feel…better than i have in years. i relaxed, just a bit. i got a kid now that needs me, and i’m gonna do right by them. got a few people that seem to really care for me, fuck if i know why. and i’m…not happy really, but i’m ok, and i haven’t been ok in a damn long time, bro. and maybe if you go there you can be ok too. i know i sure as fuck can’t be happy there when i know you’re stuck here, fighting a losing battle.”

Papyrus looked him in the sockets, weary. After several seconds of silence, Red took it as an answer. He let his hand fall, gritting his teeth a little harder. He couldn’t return here permanently. He refused to live anywhere near this world, for Lucida’s sake. But stars, was he really going to leave his brother here? Did he even have a choice?

He turned away, going back to the bottle and grabbing it, chugging a few healthy gulps of the burning rubbing alcohol that passed itself as a drink. After the silence he jumped a little when his brother spoke. “I MISSED YOU TOO, BROTHER.”

Red tapped the bottle, cradling it in his hands. The warmth in his ribcage wasn’t just from the booze. “…you got no idea how much that means to me, bro. you really don’t.”

“I DO WANT TO START OVER. I’M SICK OF THINGS HERE, I’M SICK OF TRYING JUST FOR NOTHING TO CHANGE, I’M SICK OF THIS ENTIRE DUMPSTER FIRE THAT IS OUR RELATIONSHIP, I’M SO SICK OF EVERYTHING EVERY DAMN DAY. BUT THIS PLACE IS MY WHOLE LIFE. I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN JUST…DROP ALL MY DUTIES AND ALL THE THINGS I WORKED ON FOR YEARS AND LEAVE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.”

“just because you spent time on it doesn’t mean it was worth it, papyrus,” Red said, bitterly. “I know it sounds mean, but it’s true. the monsters you helped must think the world of you. but in my opinion, if you and undyne and all the other monsters with big dreams and big hearts couldn’t change things, i don’t think anything can.”

He heard Papyrus tapping the table with his phalanges, slowly and methodically. “SO WHAT NOW?”

Red scratched underneath his eye socket with a sigh. He hadn’t felt this tired since he gave birth. “I need to go back for lucy, and you need to figure out if you wanna come with. i figure you need some time to think things over, so how about i come back in…say a week. and if you wanna go, we go, and if you wanna stay, at least i said goodbye this time.”

“…IF I STAY, WILL I NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN?” Papyrus asked, tone strained.

“nah, bro. i won’t be able to visit much, what with the kid and all, but i’ll swing by every now and again. got my magic back so it should be fine as long as i’m sneaky about it. we can draw up a visiting plan and everything. that sound good?” Red answered, putting the bottle back on the table. After a moment, Papyrus nodded.

“THAT SEEMS REASONABLE.”

Red breathed a quiet sigh of relief. This wasn’t a no after all. A ‘maybe’ was more than he was hoping for. This entire conversation was…so much more than he could have hoped for. “ok. i should get going soon. it was really nice talking to ya, bro. thanks for hearing me out.”

“OF COURSE. AND THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE FIRST STEP,” Papyrus answered, a slight grin on his face, daring and wavering like the glint off the edge of a knife. For a moment, Red could see him as the spunky, daring child he used to be, heroic and taking up a room with his presence effortlessly. Red hoped that kid wasn’t lost forever. “GO ON. I BELIEVE YOUR…CHILD NEEDS YOU.”

Red chuckled, hearing the creak of the door upstairs and Sans descending. Asshole must have been listening in. He held out his hand, waiting for Sans to grab it. “true. stay safe, uncle.” He heard a chuckle from behind him before he felt a hand in his, the last thing he saw before the Void being his brother’s surprised face, with what seemed for a moment to be the slightest hint of a blush.

…Nah, his bro didn’t blush like that. No way.

Sans let go of his hand in the darkness, a crackle of magic on his bones as he summoned a blaster. The cyan magic made his bones look an electric blue. He waited for a moment before he turned back to Red with a relaxed grin, a hint of worry in his sockets. “you ok, bud? ready to go?”

Red took a deep breath. He felt exhausted in a way that was both physical and mental, but his bones felt lighter than they have in years, as if someone drilled them full of holes and they released molten lead, or whatever else it was that kept him bound to the ground for most of his life. If he jumped, he could touch the sky.

“yeah. i’m ok.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally. FINALLY. I WROTE MY FAVOURITE BOY. I can't even explain how much I love UF Paps oh my God.


	18. Update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a real chapter lol, sorry for the tease

Hello everyone, this is your Captain speaking! I hope y'all are doing great! 

 

Status update: I'm putting this fic on temporary hiatus. I'm not sure for how long (I'm eyeballing June or July, but don't count on it). Between my frankly shitty mental health and stress and workload, it's been really hard to get into the right frame of mind for writing, as well as even finding the time for it. I'm not even keeping up with my studying, I've had a solid 16 hour panic attack, and I need as much of a break as I can find. I apologize for those that were waiting for the next chapter, and ask for patience.

I would like to emphasize that this is NOT a permanent hiatus, or even a complete hiatus on writing. I have the end of this fic and plot figured out, all it needs is to be written and I fully intend to finish it. I have had ideas for like, 4 other longfics constantly running in my head, and I didn't allow myself to write them because I wanted to focus on Bright Eyes. However, writing it has been incredibly slow and a real uphill battle, so I'm thinking that taking a break and writing other things will help me replenish my energy and enthusiasm for this fic! So keep an eye out for some new fics from me. They'll mostly be Papyrus-centric because I'm trash like that, but hopefully they might be interesting!

I would like to thank you all once again for the amazing support on this fic. Every comment I have read at least 3 times, some have made me almost cry, I have received fanart (!) and all in all I felt incredibly supported. I did not expect to get more than 100 kudos on this fic, maybe a single comment on each chapter. You, as readers, have an amazing power to give energy and happiness to writers, and that is an amazing thing!

Ugh, this sounds like some sort of goodbye, but it's just a "see you later"! Have a good day!

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments make my day!


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